Yes, I'm still alive.
I'm sorry I have been hiatus; I was battling Hoth against the rebel army and help bring forth Luke Skywalker to the Emperor....if you get that reference, I love you.
Haha, anyway, I've been super busy and had little time to write let alone upload. I know you guys have been wanting new chapters but my life is hectic right now. I would put more excuses here but what for. But I greatly appreciate all of you padawans for sticking by me and supporting me even if I've been away for a couple of months.
I wanna hug all of you guys but just high five the screen cuz that's how close we could get lol. Sorry if this A/N doesn't make sense, idk what's going on in my head right now.
But I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I love all of you beautiful padawans for sticking by me <3
-Continue being who you are and don't let anyone tell you how to be.
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Hate Me, Love Me:
Chapter Twenty-Two: When a Bad Hangover Leads to Deadly Consequences
I didn't know how much I drank.
I couldn't remember how many drinks were given to me but I realized it was intentional. They wanted me to get to the point of blacking out and that scared me. The fear was slowly crawling up spine, ready to suffocate me as I leaned against the wall. The music was blaring, making me have the worst headache. My vision was blurry as heck and all I could see were figures dancing around me. The room had gotten a hundred degrees hotter and I scratched at the clothing I was wearing, feeling the sweat seep out of my pores.
The burning taste in my throat reminded me with such cruel guilt that Ivan would be disappointed once I get home. I shouldn't have taken that drink from that girl. I shouldn't had allowed my heart to make my decisions. So, what if Kat was kissing another girl. She could do whatever she want and I didn't have the power to stop her. But even if I agreed with her being her own person and making her own decisions, it didn't stop the dagger twisting in my heart as I was once again reminded of Kat and the other woman kissing.
I rubbed my face hard, feeling strands of my hair matted with sweat, sticking to my face. I can't remember what I was doing shortly after a couple of drinks but all I knew was that Cynthia was beside me, encouraging me to drink some more. I wanted to go home but I couldn't trust my body. If I moved, I knew the bile I've been swallowing down would come back up again and I won't have a choice but to throw up. I was afraid of this feeling, though. I was afraid of my body going out of control. The alcohol made me feel strange and I didn't like how I swayed, hardly recognizing the people around me. I was afraid that I would have another episode of blacking out. I was more afraid of opening my eyes again.
I had my first share of a party gone wrong for me and I didn't want this anymore. This wasn't me. I would never see myself drinking and having this fear torment me. I wanted to cry and just call Ivan to come help me from keeping these fears from swallowing me. I should have told Evelyn and Riley that I didn't want to go. This was a bad idea and here I was, tightly gripping the wall and the side of my head, praying for the dizziness to stable itself. Anything could happen tonight and I was afraid of that.
The one thing that almost made me burst out in tears was that Riley and Evelyn were no different from Celeste and Shirley. Those two hooligans hadn't come to check up on me. Shouldn't friends be keeping an eye on each other when they're at a party? They knew I was inexperience with this type of scene so, why weren't they here to keep me from freaking out?
I rested my forehead against the wall, ignoring the trembling from the music.
Mom, Dad, I'm sorry...
"Oh, man," I heard someone say from beside me. "Ivan's gonna go ape shit."
I opened my eyes the moment I felt them grab my elbow and slowly turn me around to face them. The world was spinning and I could feel my stomach churn. My lips were chapped and I was thirsty - alcohol wouldn't sedate my thirst, that's for sure. When my eyes settled on the girl gazing at me worriedly, my mind was too muddy to figure out who she was. All I could see were those blazing blue eyes burned through my hazy vision. I could faintly see the concern lining in them as the sounds of whimpering flitted to my ears. Who was crying? Was I crying?
"Please don't tell Ivan," I hoarsely said, leaning my head back against the wall.
The person cooed me as their thick accent sang to my ears, slowly moving into putting my arm over their shoulders, "Don't worry. This will be our lil' secret."
And with that, she carried me passed the dancing figures. My ears rang with the loud music, the laughter, and the excited shrieks making me whimper. Were they taking me away from this place? That's all I wanted. I wanted to leave this place and be back in my room, in the comfort of my bed.
"Please don't tell Ivan," I said, wincing as I felt the bile once again rise. "Oh...no."
"What —?"
That was all I heard until I rushed out of the way and went to the nearest vase and threw up anything that was in my stomach in it. My throat burned as I began to cry, mumbling for Ivan as I felt them grab me again and haul me away from the room. I think I mumbled an apology to whoever was carrying me out but I didn't hear what they had said. When I felt the cool air soothe my face, I wanted to kiss the person who was helping me out. I wanted to show them my gratitude in taking me away from that place but I didn't have the energy to do anything.
"Don't worry, Mabel," they said, tightening their grip on my waist as they led me further out to some place. "I got you..."
My senses were beginning to fail me as darkness clawed at my vision. I wanted to hear their voice again because it was the only comfort I had. I wanted their voice to soothe me and possibly wash away my worries. As much as I tried to keep myself from blacking out, it was useless. Because the moment I heard doors unlocking and I was being seated inside where it was warm and still, I blacked out.
The only thing I heard was, "You shouldn't force yourself to fit in, Mabel..."
I think I blacked out again.
Or maybe I was having trouble sleeping from the amount of times I drifted in and out.
But what I could remember was the person had drove me somewhere, carrying me to a place that was warm enough to that I didn't have any heat flashes. They were speaking to me but by then, my mind was groggy and all I could catch was: "Ivan...no more...too young...not safe...innocent...". I remembered they made me drink full glasses of water - enough to make me use their bathroom multiple times. I guess that was the purpose they were going for. Drink enough water to sober me up and release the toxins from my body. They soothed my back the times I had thrown up in the toilet and muttered a few comforting words.
All I knew from that moment was the times I continued to thank them for taking me out of that place and for keeping this a secret from Ivan. I don't even know if they knew Ivan. After what seemed to look like I was capable to have a settled stomach, they began to lead me out of the warm place into the freezing cold. I wrapped my arms around me as I followed the person who I finally could grasp their appearance. Their denim jacket with a band patch sewn on the back and from their short frame, I realized this person was a girl.
A girl who seemed to know me and had saved me from making my night at that party even worse.
"Umm..." I bit my lip as the girl unlocked the doors to her car. "Thanks for everything," I said, earning myself a side look from her.
Her bright blue eyes hardly spent a single second on me before she walked towards the driver's side of her car. I wasted no time in getting inside and away from the freezing wind that seemed to pick up a notch.
As soon as I buckled my seat belt, the girl turned on the engine and quickly drove onto the street without muttering a single word. The car ride was silent and the way she was driving, I did my best to suppress the bile that was once again climbing up my throat. I had fisted the sides of my seat as I sent silent prayers to the stars to protect us because this girl had drove past three red lights.
"Can I ask you something?" She finally spoke when she stopped at a red light (and thankfully didn't raced past it).
I glanced at her as she drummed her fingers against the steering wheel, "S-sure."
"Why did you drink tonight? From what I witnessed, this was the first time you drank not just cheap beer but hardcore liquor."
I looked away and began to fumble with the hem of my sweater. It was stupid now that I've gone through all that vomiting and crying. Why did I let myself stoop so low into drinking alcohol all because I saw the girl I like kiss someone else? I shouldn't have let it bother me and just ask Evelyn to take me home. Instead, I accepted a drink from a stranger. I think that was a big no-no on the 'Things You Shouldn't Do at a Party' book.
"I...I don't know," I lamely replied.
"You don't know?" She scoffed, turning onto my street and slowly drove down until she stopped in front of my house where there were no signs of an angry Ivan standing on the doorstep, waiting for me. The lights were off and his car was parked in front of the garage, untouched.
"I find that hard to believe," she said, setting the car to park.
"It will sound stupid if I tell you," I whispered, unbuckling myself. "Thanks for everything...?"
"Claudia," she introduced, giving me a small smile. "Don't mention it. I won't tell Ivan that his little sister snuck out to a party she wasn't supposed to be at. As for Riley and Evelyn, I'm pretty sure they're scared shitless when they finally break away from their lovey-dovey bullshit and realize you're not with them. Don't answer their calls or texts, let them shit bricks because they deserve it."
I chuckled, "Thanks again and goodnight."
I got out of the car and silently closed the door, hurrying to the front door where I unlocked it and quietly closed it. My heart was pounding in my chest as I set the locks and tip-toed up the stairs to my room, hoping Ivan was still asleep. When I got to my room, I dove into my bed not bothering to change clothes and fell asleep. I think Claudia's remedy worked wonders but then again, I never experienced this. From what I seen with Ivan, I hoped and prayed to the universe that I won't get a hangover.
~*~*~
I looked like I was ran over by a semi-truck multiple times.
My dark brown hair was in a disarray, not even the birds would want to use it as a nest. My face looked sickly and pale and my brown eyes held no life. I felt like waking up this morning to get ready for school seemed stupid when I looked like road kill. Knowing Ivan, he would comment on my appearance and tell me I shouldn't go to school if I didn't feel good. And I would agree wholeheartedly because I felt like shit. I mean, I was still wearing last night's clothes (which I need to shower and change because I could smell the stale beer on myself) and the light makeup I wore made me look like one of the KISS members.
Groaning as I turned on the shower, I did my best to not remember as to what got me to look like this in the first but it was difficult. I could see it vividly the way Kat kissed the other woman right before my eyes. They were in a trance of their own; hypnotized by their own desires that they didn't care who saw them. Not only did that hurt me but there was the whole Riley and Evelyn case. They abandoned me to be consumed in their love bubble to have me be persuaded by some girl to drink heavy amounts of alcohol.
Heck, something worse could have happened to me last night and no one would notice.
I had cut my ties with Shirley and Celeste because of the way they treated me but I'm now starting to deal with the same thing with Riley and Evelyn. I didn't want to believe that they could do the same thing but it was difficult for me to surpass that from the events of last night. I quickly got inside the warm shower after I discarded my clothes and tried to form a plan to have Ivan agree with me as to why I shouldn't go to school today. I don't think I was capable in facing Riley and Evelyn today. Knowing those two, they would annoy the crap out of me until I finally cave in and forgive them.
I remembered what Claudia had told me last night perfectly.
'Don't answer their texts or calls, let them shit bricks because they deserve it.'
A smile tugged at my lips as I imagine Riley trying his best not to show his 'oh fuck I screwed up' face to Kat...
My smile faltered as my mind once again reminded me what I saw at the party.
It was as if she didn't care.
I was falling for her and all the kisses we shared, she simply tossed them away as she kisses someone else. I suppose that's what happens if you fall for an older person. You never know if they might find someone who's around their age and not younger. I sighed, resting my forehead against the tile wall.
At this point, I don't know what to do when it came to these dilemmas.
I don't think I could ask Ivan for advice if I wanted to have him go on a rage towards Kat's house for kissing his little sister.
What the heck do I do?
When I finished showered and got dressed, I entered my room only to stop midstep when I saw Ivan sitting on my bed glaring at the screen of his phone. My heart began to pound harder in my chest as I felt something weigh down on my shoulders. I don't know what it was but I was afraid. I was afraid of what Ivan was looking at that was making him look so mad. I was afraid of what had gotten him out of his bed this early in the morning. Usually I would wake him around 6:30 but seeing him with his bed hair tousled and his body shaking with anger made me want to go back to the bathroom and lock the door.
But when those brown eyes raised to meet mine, I knew that I was in big trouble.
"Care to explain to me as to why you were at a party last night?" He glowered, his clenched jaw twitching.
I swallowed hard as I fidget under his hard glare. Before I could reply to his question and try to save my ass, he tossed me his phone. What he was glaring at was probably the evidence to my 'grounded for life' punishment. It was a photo of myself, dazed and heavily drunk, as I raised a shot glass in the air and grinned at the person who was taking the photo. My other arm was wrapped around some bearded guy that I didn't recognize. Underneath the photo was a text that read: Look at that, Little Mabel following her brother's footsteps.
I looked up at my brother who was now pacing around my room, tugging at his hair.
"I'm going to kill those kids," he grumbled. He stopped pacing and faced me, snatching his phone back from my hands. "You're not going to school today and you're not hanging out with Riley and Evelyn ever again. I had warned you not to be anywhere near skinheads yet you do the opposite and look where it led you. Sneaking out and getting drunk —"
"It was only one time, Ivan!"
"I don't care! If I didn't know about this, you could have been doing it over and over again!" His voice grew louder and I cowered back, tearing my gaze away from his furious one.
"I'm disappointed in you, Mabel," he said as he headed for the door. "I never expected you to do this."
He closed the door behind, leaving me to wallow in my own misery...
"Mabel!"
I looked over my shoulder and saw the familiar red Mohawk bouncing as Riley shoved past a few students in his way. I closed my locker and began to head to my AP English class. Since Ivan told me not to be friends with Riley and Evelyn anymore, I avoided them the whole time I came back to school the next day. It was difficult when either Riley and Evelyn tried to chase me down the halls, shoving past people not caring if they were being cussed at. The one class I shared with Riley, I sat on the other side of the room and avoided his stare.
I didn't answer their texts nor their calls just like Claudia had told me. I didn't give them a glance because I knew I would cave in. During Lunch, I ate my food in the library as I read my book in the far back of the room, hidden behind the Encyclopedia section. I was glad I made that decision to sit there because a few minutes after, Riley and Evelyn had entered the library in search for me. I had caught Shirley's stare once or twice when I ran away from the two hooligans only to receive a sad smile from her which I returned shyly.
Now, I made sure I walk through crowded halls to stop Riley from catching up to me. It may be a longer route to get to my class but it was the best idea.
"Mabel! Wait up!" He called out again before yelling at the other students to move.
I bowed my head and quickened my pace. I didn't want to disappoint Ivan again. After he had left my room yesterday, I cried and didn't leave my room until I made sure he had left for work. He didn't say goodbye; he simply left slamming the front door after him. I didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes again . It felt like a thousand swords pierced my heart knowing I disappointed someone I loved.
"Can you stop running away?!" Riley snapped, suddenly appearing behind me as he grabbed my wrist, halting me from walking away.
I didn't turn to face. I continued to look down to the floor with my head bowed.
"Mabel, please look at me," he said, his voice showed his hurt.
"I can't talk to you anymore, Riley," I softly replied, taking back my hand from his hold.
"Why not?"
"Because Ivan found out that I snuck out to a party. The same party you and Evelyn left me alone in."
Tears began to waver my vision as I quickly blink them away. It hurt to remember that. I didn't want to compare them to Shirley and Celeste but they were getting real close.
"I'm sorry, Mabel. I was so pissed off at Kat when I saw her kissing —"
"I have to go, Riley," I interrupted him, not wanting him to finish his sentence. I didn't want to be reminded again of what I saw. "I had fun hanging out with you guys. Thank you for being my friend."
I began walking away and for some reason, my heart was hurting. Could it be I was making a mistake from walking away the people who were actually great friends to me? I could have bargained with Ivan to not let me stop being friends with Riley and Evelyn. I could have accepted doing my chores until I'm thirty as long as I could hang out with them but I didn't have the courage to argue with Ivan. I didn't want to see much more of that disappointment than I already saw before.
"I'm not going to stop being your friend, Mabel!" Riley yelled from behind. "I'm going to fix everything. I'll talk to Ivan, I promise. I don't care if he kicks my ass as long as he lets us be friends."
A smile tugged at my lips as I turned the corner, leaving Riley behind only to be stopped by a voice that brought cold shivers down my spine. My smile faltering as my eyes met those cold eyes of Josh Hamilton.
"Losing friends, are we?" He sneered, his blonde hair was hidden underneath his baseball hat. His goons weren't with him which I thanked the universe for.
"Leave me alone, Josh," I tried to sidestep him but he blocked me.
"I'm afraid I can't do that," he smiled, darkly. "I mean, no one wants Little Mabel to follow her brother's footsteps, do we?"
My entire body froze. "W-what did you say?"
Josh laughed, wrapping his arm over my shoulders and began to lead us down the hall. "It's fantastic to know people who have the same hatred for the infamous Kat Blacksmith and would do anything to see her fall."
"You're using me?" I looked up at him, incredulous. "Is that the surprise you were talking about?"
Josh smirked, "You're just the first step, Mabel. Plus, I'm still not finish with you."
And with that, he fisted my hair and forced my head closer to his where he planted his lips on mine. His other arm wrapped around my waist, keeping me flushed against his body as I struggled to get away from him. His lips spread into a smirk when I heard the sound of a click from a camera. He pulled back, grinning like a maniac where I pushed off of him and gaped at one of Josh's goons holding up his cellphone.
"What a lovely photo," Josh's friend smirked, tossing the phone towards Josh.
"What a shame it would be if Kat suddenly receives it," Josh chuckled.
"No!" I cried out, reaching out to take the phone away but he stopped me, an evil glint shimmering in those dark eyes.
"Oops," Josh pouted, faint hearted. "I accidentally pressed send. Sorry, Mabel, but I don't know how you're going to explain this to her."
"You asshole!" Once again, tears formed in my eyes as I glared at the devil's incarnate laughing cruelly.
"Ladies shouldn't swear, Little Mabel," he smirked before he walked away with his friend, laughing at their cruel joke.
Tears ran down my cheeks as I ignored the looks from the other students who walked past me. Wiping the tears away, I entered my English class not noticing the two pair of eyes who saw what happened between Josh and I.
The only thing that was running through my mind was: What's going to happen now between Kat and I?