I was confused now.
What Adrian had said stayed with me like an overpowering flavor in the back of my mouth I just couldn't get rid of.
I'd been bracing myself for him to be pushy and now that he wasn't I felt oddly deflated.
It was up to me?
I mean, of course it was, but...
But now I didn't know what to do. I was conflicted. I knew I should just be relieved and move on with my life as planned.
The plan being to harden my defenses against him and resist my devilish boss as best as possible. I had to hang onto the one sweet night that we had shared. He had loved me with his body and it had been tear-jerkingly beautiful, but it was over now.
I was just going to have to make do on the memory of his touch alone, as was he.
That was my final decision.
I just couldn't risk the heartbreak and humiliation of carrying on some ardent affair with my employer whom I already lived with.
I knew how it ended for me, I've read this story a time or two before. Hell, I'd practically written the damn book myself; my novel 'The Big Bad Boss', which would probably never see the light of day, yet suddenly I found myself relating to it more than I ever had before.
So I already knew that I should just leave things right here where they were. I had been the one to choose to end the affair before it even began. If I kept going, if I just gave myself to him as I so keenly wanted to, then it would be up to him when it ended.
And it would be devastating when he put me down.
So I was gonna write myself a new ending, one that hopefully didn't end in complete tragedy, even if it didn't have a happily-ever-after kind of a wrap up, that was just fine with me.
Or so I told myself.
I told myself this over and over, and I would continue to do so as many times as it took until it fully sank in.
Adrian was not mine.
I was not his.
I just worked for him, that's all. He was my employer, my boss, sometimes my worst nightmare, but he was not my lover and he sure as hell was never gonna be my boyfriend.
Which, pathetically, was ultimately what I was going to want from him. I knew myself. I was no casual weekend lover, I needed commitment to feel safe. I needed to know the relationship was actually going somewhere, otherwise what was the point?
I lay in bed later that night, sore and exhausted from the day I'd just had.
As I laid there, alone in the dark, I stared up at the ceiling and tried to quell my base urges by reviewing inserts from the PA journal in my head.
Janus Cooper, May 2009
'On time is late. Do not allow a single thread or hair out of place or he will come down on you like living hellfire.'
Sage advice, Janus.
I had discovered that about him myself, when he had regarded my original wardrobe with such open disdain.
And he had once told me that it bothered him when I had my hair a certain way. He was sensitive to chemicals and he'd claimed that my hair product "singed his nostrils" so I had stopped using my favorite brand of hairspray and my favorite hair smoothing serum, just to be safe. No perfume, either, not with his delicate nose.
What were some of the other, more amusing entries?
Bethany Silverson Dec. 2012
'Your best is NEVER good enough. Quit now, the money isn't worth it!'
That had been one particularly harrowed entry.
Cathy Keen Aug. 2013
'He's insane. Just quit.'
It had been Cathy's only entry.
Then there had been one of the few male PAs; poor Erik Baker, who had wrote, 'You absolutely CAN ask stupid questions, apparently. For future PAs reading these sad little entries, don't, for the love of God, ever ask any questions!'
This one made me chuckle all over again. But my humor faded quickly.
I saw the common thread there, believe me. Almost all of the current PAs urged the next to quit, but the money and the plush living arrangement were huge perks that kept the fools streaming in like ducks migrating south for the winter.
I sighed and rolled over onto my side, giving in completely to the sensation of self-pity.
I half expected Adrian to come knock softly at my door that night, or perhaps simply let himself in.
I kept thinking about what he had said, how he was used to simply taking what he wanted.
So why didn't he just come to my damn room and take me already? If he wanted me, surely he would.
And also, it would be really convenient for me if he seduced me, then I wouldn't have the responsibility of making the choice now. To creep down the hallway to his room again or not...
No! I couldn't.
I wouldn't!
I wasn't that weak. I could order a really expensive, high powered dildo; that would give Adrian pause when it showed up at the condo for him to sign.
And I could survive on the memory of his sex alone.
It was a long night, and Adrian never did come to my room.
###
The next day, we all had to return to reality.
I got up at 6am because I simply hadn't been able to stay asleep.
Coming out onto the back deck with a cup of coffee, it was to find that I wasn't alone.
Adrian was already up and I stopped for a moment to consider his back. He sipped his coffee, currently holding his phone to his ear.
We both turned our heads when Mike and Kane went by with the dog, taking a patrol of the perimeter, and Adrian noticed me when he looked up.
He gave me a polite smile and gestured to me that he would be done soon.
I thinned my lips in what could pass for a smile as I went to stand at the deck railing. Bracing my forearms atop the wooden support, I sipped my coffee as I took in the view of the lake in the morning sunlight.
It was gorgeous here; beautiful homes, big, old basswood and northern red oak trees creating a stately border that protected residents from the bike path.
I could get used to living here. Of course, vacation was always a fantasy. A sweet dream from which one must inevitably awake.
"Yes, I understand." Adrian sighed heavily. "I'll have him back within the next few hours. The helicopter is getting prepped for takeoff right now.
"Yes. Goodbye." He said, then cut off the call.
He sighed again as he glanced my way before taking another sip of his coffee. "That was Tiffany. She's not happy that I brought a female guest along on this trip." He informed me with a casual eye roll. "She wants Ty to come home early."
I cringed. I so didn't want to get involved with him and his ex-wife and I certainly didn't want to get in the way of their kid.
"Well...good, now we'll be able to go to poor Wallace's funeral." I heard myself say.
A frown flickered across Adrian's face.
I knew my boss well and I knew he didn't like being told what to do.
"I would've thought the funeral had come and gone by now." He said warily.
"The cops needed to keep the body for the investigation, then when it was released, his wife had him cremated, but they're going to lay his ashes to rest inside of a coffin in the family plot. This weekend was the soonest that all his living relatives were able to make it to town."
Adrian looked at me with part impressment, part fear in his eyes. He was smart and he knew a trap when he heard one.
"Is-is it really appropriate for us to go?" He faltered. "And how do you know so much about the handling of the affair?"
I smiled at him grimly, clutching my robe tighter to my chest as the wind off the water picked up. "There's a group message between some of your employees." I graciously explained. I wasn't surprised to find that he didn't know about it; he never talked to anybody.
"And on said group message forum, absolutely none of your employees think you'll come. They asked me, and didn't believe me when I said we'd be there."
His frown deepened as he considered me. "You said I'd be there? I didn't realize I hired you to replace Sebastian." He said dryly.
I merely scoffed and looked away, back out to the water as I took another sip of my coffee. "I just figured you'd wanna make an appearance, since, you know, Wallace was gunned down in the line of duty, working for you."
Adrian sighed and I could see him physically restraining himself. "Alright, well, I guess I'm going to suitably surprise everyone when I show up. When and where is it again?"
"At 2:30 today at the Oakwood Cemetery."
"Well, we had better hurry back to the city then, hadn't we?" He said, still in a dry tone of voice.
I watched him surreptitiously as he turned away from me and headed back inside the cabin. I stayed out on the deck a little longer, enjoying my last few minutes with the priceless view.
Of course, as I was learning more and more while working under the employ of Mr. Adrian Kingsley, everything came with a price.
###
The rest of the morning was a whirlwind as we all got ready to head home.
Ty was devastated that we had to cut the trip short and had some choice things to say about his own mother.
"Damian Ty Kingsley, you do not say those kinds of things about your mother." Adrian reprimanded his son and I smiled awkwardly, beginning to inch back out of the general vicinity.
"I've heard you say those things!" Ty protested.
"You are not to repeat the things I say simply because you overhear them." Adrian said in frustration.
I continued backing away.
"But Dad..."
"End of discussion. Your mother wants you home early so we are heading home early."
"Besides, we've got a funeral to go to." I volunteered, from the safe distance of the hallway.
Ty looked over at me and predictably wrinkled his nose. "Oh, lame." He said, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Yeah, it'd be boring for ya, kiddo." I assured him and he sighed in defeat.
"Okay." He said in a crestfallen manner. Ty looked back up at his father. "Are you still taking me to Lincoln Park next weekend?" He wanted to know.
Adrian sighed and glanced at his watch as if already late going into next weekend. "Of course, son." Was what he said, however.
I smiled encouragingly at the 8 year old. "What do you guys usually do there?"
"Go to the zoo!" Ty volunteered with obvious enthusiasm, already over the cabin trip we were currently on now, it would seem. "Do you wanna come with us, Eve?"
I was genuinely touched by the invite, and it had been a long time since I had been to Lincoln Park. In fact, that last time had been when my own father had taken me, shortly before he had passed. Together we had been quite the interest in museums and that was where we had gone. At that time, my father hadn't been well enough to play tennis or do any of the more rigorous activities that Lincoln Park had to offer.
I hesitated in answering, glancing first at Adrian.
He met my eyes and oh so subtly inclined his head. I could see it then in his eyes, as well; he was practically begging me to come along.
Was he really so terrified of spending one-on-one time with his own son?
"Yeah, I should be free Saturday afternoon." I heard myself say.
###
It was all a whirlwind; packing the poor dog into a kennel that was then strapped down into the helicopter.
It was funny to watch the dog's hair standing on end from how nervous it was.
All too soon we were dropping Ty off, however.
I found I would actually miss the little tyke as I hugged him goodbye in the back of Adrian's town car.
"See ya next weekend, Miss Evie!" He said rather shyly, and even blushed a bit as he exited the vehicle.
I stayed in the car and watched from a safe distance, behind the tinted glass, as the tradeoff between parents was made.
We were parked on the curb of a residency made up primarily of stately old townhouses, still with their original brick facings.
Adrian held his son's hand as they walked up the sidewalk together - too cute - but my smile faded as a dark haired woman with big sunglasses appeared.
My heart instantly hitched.
This must be her.
I knew her instantly.
She possessed a willowy body and an elegant sort of air about her, as if she was the heroine of some old movie.
She had long, wavy hair that was so dark it was nearly black. It was perfectly curled, like a doll's, and fell nearly to her waist, which was tiny, while her bust was large.
A black sheath dress clung to her slender figure and her heels were no doubt from some designer I couldn't even pronounce the name of.
Big dark sunglasses shielded some of her face, but the rest I could see had an olive cast to its complexion and her features were sharp.
I disliked her upon sight.
Watching the cold interaction between mother and son greeting each other was heartbreaking, as was the hug goodbye exchanged between father and son.
Tiffany then grabbed her son's little hand and practically dragged him away. The dog and Kane dutifully followed, the bodyguard doubling as manservant as he pulled the kid's luggage along behind him.
"Rich people." Mike muttered and I shot him an unhappy glance. "Didn't you say something about riding up front with the driver?"
"Why? So you and your boss can make out?"
I flared up at once at his imprudence. The man seriously had some nerve. "None of your friggin' business what we do! I would just like you to keep your commentary to yourself, is that such a challenge for you?"
Mike raised his eyebrows. "Fine. Maybe I will ride up front with Raphael. He's cool." Mike said, clearly more amused than offended.
I folded my arms and widened my eyes at him mockingly. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out."
Mike hesitated for just a moment longer, studying me with something caught between frustration and curiosity if I had to guess - not that I cared. Then he got out and went up front to sit with the driver. The privacy panel remained firmly in place.
Adrian got in and sat exactly where Mike had been, closing the door with a heavy sigh.
The car pulled away from the curb, taking us to Oakwood Cemetery.
"It must be hard, having to say goodbye to him over and over." I murmured quietly, hoping I wasn't pushing too far.
"You've no idea." Adrian sighed again, passing a hand over his face.
I nervously chewed on my thumbnail. No, I wouldn't have any idea, would I?
Adrian let his head fall back against the seat-rest. His eyes were closed but somehow he still knew what I was doing.
"Eve." He reproved me softly. He surprised me by reaching out and capturing my hand to make me stop. "Haven't I told you not to chew on yourself? Such a nasty habit."
I gulped, because he was still holding my hand held captive on his thigh.
He continued to hold my hand all the way to the chapel, and neither of us spoke another word.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Thanks for reading!
HRH