Yesterday we arrived at camp. I'm rooming with Mapi, like i said i would be. Nothing has changed between us. We're the same people we've always been. She's Mapi & i'm Aitana, and that's a good thing. I don't need to change for her and she doesn't need to change for me. I'm falling for her, and i'm not sure if i'll stop. There's only one problem though, and that problem is Ona.
I woke up today and i knew i had to talk to her. Everyone knew i did. Alexia, Leila and even Mapi have told me to speak to her, but i've been putting it off. Yesterday i had so many opportunities to speak to her but i didn't. I don't want to face her. I know she's going to be upset, but i'm upset with how she acted towards me.
"I'll talk to her after training"
I said, walking out for the bathroom and over to Mapi, wrapping my arms around her neck.
"We've got you"
She whispered into my ear, placing her arms gently around my waist.
I love Ona. But Mapi? I love her too. Things with Mapi are different from anything i've ever experienced before. It's like we're almost meant to be? I know that may sound crazy. Especially since everyone thought me and Ona were meant to be, but maybe we're not. Maybe, behind all of that was the truth i was trying to find, the truth saying that me and Mapi are the ones meant to be. Mapi has anyways been my best friend, and she always will be. But now. Now she's my best friend and more.
"What are you thinking about?"
She whispered whilst looking into my eyes.
"You"
I said, placing my head on her shoulder.
"What about me?"
She asked.
"How amazing you are"
"You're cute"
She said and i smiled.
Eventually we had to let go of one another and head down for breakfast. I made her give me a piggy back, which took a lot of persuading but i got there in the end and Mapi, to everyone's surprise, walked into the cafeteria with me on her back. We ate and laughed with a few of the girls and then it was time to train.
I had a pretty good session, but not my best one. Me and the Barcelona girls played three days ago and traveled today. Ona played too, but her game wasn't as intense as ours. That might sound mean, but she would agree. The Madrid players played the same game as us but they didn't need to travel as the camp is in Madrid. But out of everyone the Barcelona and Real Madrid players were the most tired ones, and it showed. But that doesn't mean we didn't train well. Alexia was training the way she always does. She may be tired but she doesn't show it. She literally, last season, played the champions league final injured and she played incredibly. She scored a penalty and made so many key passes, especially the one that set up Aitana for our third goal. Aitana Bonmati that is.
Once training finally ended i knew it was time. I went into the locker room with everyone else and got changed, taking my boots off and slipped my trainers back on. Most people left to return to their rooms for a little before traveling to Scotland in a few hours. I've never actually been to Scotland before so i'm quite excited. But my excitement has to wait as right now i need to speak to Ona.
"Want to talk?"
I asked, walking over to where she was sitting.
"Not really, but if you want"
She said and i sighed.
Before starting i looked at the other girls in the locker room who knew i wanted to talk to Ona alone, so they quickly finished up and left. Leaving me in the locker room with just Ona.
"Me and Mapi hooked up"
I whispered and she immediately stood up. Here we go...
"WHAT!? You told me! You fucking told me that you didn't!"
She began to yell into my face.
"Yeah, Ona. I told you i didn't, and i didn't lie. When you called me i hadn't done anything with Mapi"
"So when did it happen?"
She asked.
"Yesterday"
I admitted.
"We just broke up! Why would you do that? I thought you loved me?"
"I do love you, but i love her too"
I said, leaning back against the wall.
"Back to what i said previously, all you ever do is think about yourself!"
She yelled and i stood up.
"You know what? I wanted to tell you because i didn't want to pretend it didn't happen. Guess what Ona? It's fucking life! Life isn't always a happy place, but who gives a shit anyway? I don't know what your problem is because if you love me like you say you do, you wouldn't be telling me all i do is think about myself! We're over, we both knew that. I'm single as are you. You're free to do whatever you want. If you want to hook up with another girl, do it. If you want to date someone else, do it. If you want to keep yelling at me, do it. I don't give a shit, Ona. I'm sorry, but i don't. I don't want to fight with you. We're teammates now, and we will be teammates full time next season. I don't want this, but if you do then that's on you"
"Of course i don't want this, but you hurt me!"
She said and i just stared at her.
"I hurt you? You hurt me!"
I yelled.
"Do you love her?"
She asked.
"I already told you that i do"
"Do you want to be with her?"
"I don't know who i want to be with, Ona! If i knew we wouldn't be standing here doing this"
"If i kissed you right now, would you kiss me back?"
She asked and i sighed.
"No"
I said, honestly.
"And if Mapi kissed you right now, would you kiss her back?"
She asked and i remained silent.
"Would you?"
She asked again.
"I don't know"
I admitted.
"Well there's your answer. Go and be happy with Mapi"
She scoffed.
"Fine! I will! I don't know why you're acting like this! Yeah, okay. I hurt you. I probably shouldn't have done it, but i did and i don't regret it. I won't lie to you and tell you i do because i don't. But what you said to me fucking hurt, Ona. I never expected that to come from you, but it did"
"Well we've both done things we don't regret"
She said and this time i scoffed.
"Let me ask you this, Ona. Who did you hook up with once we broke up?"
I asked as a joke, but she sat back down with a guilty look on her face.
"You're fucking unbelievable"
I said, slightly chuckling.
"You done it too!"
She yelled.
"And you fucking hate me for it! You have no right to sit there and yell at me for hooking up with Mapi when you went and done the exact same fucking thing!"
"I don't love Ella"
"Ella Toone?"
I asked and she nodded.
"I don't care if you love her or not. I don't even care that you hooked up with her. If this tell us anything then it's one thing. We aren't meant to be. This isn't supposed to be"
"Marcos said it was"
She said and i rolled my eyes.
"Marcos was a kid, he didn't know everything. And maybe he did, but he also knew that if this didn't work out then that meant i was supposed to be with Mapi. He knew that. I didn't, you didn't and even she didn't. But he did and maybe he was wrong about us, but right about me and her"
"You want to date her?"
"I don't want to date her, not right now"
"Okay"
"So what will it be, Ona? We going to continue to hate each other or what?"
I asked.
"I don't hate you. We can be civil, but you're still a shitty person"
"So that's how we're ending this? By saying i'm a shitty person?"
I asked and she nodded.
"Whatever you want"
I said, turning my back and leaving.
******
I left and walked straight up to my room. I packed and then me and Mapi went to Alexia and Jenni's room where Leila and Patri were.
"Ona is still an asshole"
I said, falling onto Jenni's bed.
"Sounds like someone's friendly conversation didn't go to plan"
Leila smirked.
"Leila shut up. I want to hear!"
Patri yelled.
"I told her, and she yelled at me"
"As expected"
Mapi said.
"Yeah, as expected. But you'll never guess what happened next"
I said.
"What happened next?"
Alexia asked.
"She hooked up with Ella Toone, one of her United teammates. So she yells at me but she done the same thing. She's unbelievable"
I said rolling my eyes.
"What was the outcome? Friends, lovers, enemies?"
Leila asked and Mapi looked at me.
"Civil. We're not friends, and definitely not lovers"
I said, looking at Mapi with a slight smile on my face.
"Why are you looking at Mapi like that?"
Patri asked and i just smiled at her. Her mouth then flung open.
"I KNEW IT! I NEED TO TELL EVERYONE!"
She yelled, standing up and running to the door.
"Patri you little s-"
I started to say but the door closed.
"Good luck with that"
Jenni said, patting my back.
"Am i a shitty person who only thinks about herself?"
I asked and all four girls looked at me.
"Yes"
Leila said and Alexia stared at her.
"No, i'm joking. Of course you're not"
"No, you're a very kind hearted person"
Jenni said, smiling.
"Well i mean i love you so that must mean you're alright"
Mapi said with a cheeky smile.
"You are amazing. You have a good personality and a good heart. And you definitely do not only think about yourself. You barley think about yourself. That's something you need to do, but you don't"
Alexia said, putting an arm around me.
"I love you guys"
I smiled.
******
Five or so hours later we arrived in Scotland. It's so cold here.
I wore shorts for whatever reason and ended up shivering as soon as we got off the plane. Mapi gave me her hoodie though and i made it to the bus in one piece. On the bus i was dragged beside Paños who had a smirk on her face.
"So...looks like you did hook up with neck tattoo"
Paños said with a smirk.
"Yep. A good few times as well"
I smirked and she playfully slapped me.
"So, neck tattoo likes wonder kid, and wonder kid likes?"
"Neck tattoo"
I answered almost naturally. Not a single doubt in my mind.
"Not Ona?"
She asked and i shook my head.
"No, that's over. There's no way that's going to work out"
I said, shaking my head.
"So Mapi?"
She smirked.
"Mapi is great. She's amazing"
I said, smiling.
"Never doubt me again, kid"
She laughed and i laughed back.
After a short journey from the airport we got to our hotel. I'm with Mapi again, of course. As soon as we got to our room i put my suitcase down, changed and then fell asleep clinging onto Mapi like a little kid.
Tomorrow we train and then we play Scotland the day after...