No one's POV
Currently, Wash was making his way through the crashed ship, and after a few minutes, he made it to the former command center of the ship, where he spotted One sitting up against the wall with her helmet off, looking at a picture of her and Zero.
Washington: Hey, One. How are holding up?
One: ...
Wash looked over and saw the rations he left her were still there and untouched, making him sigh.
Washington: One, you gotta eat something, it's been 3 days.
One: I'm fine...
Washington: No, you're not fine. You need to eat, we don't have many medical supplies. We can't afford anyone getting sick if we can help it.
One just sighed and spoke up.
One: Right...
Washington: Come on. Eat up and come with me. You've been cooped up in here for days, you need a little sun.
One: ...
After managing to get One to come outside, she and Wash made their way to Tucker, who was waiting.
Tucker: Oh, look who decided to come out their big metal cage.
Washington: Tucker, be quiet. Now that One is here, we can start.
Washington: Tucker... in basic training, there is a point when the drill sergeant attempts to "break" his or her soldiers so that they may overcome their civilian mindset and focus on the responsibility and selflessness of becoming a true soldier.
Tucker: Uh, bro. I went through basic ages ago! True soldier, standing right here!
Washington: What's the UNSC motto?
Tucker: When in doubt, rub one out.
One: ...-_-... Thanks, Wash... I'm glad I came out just to hear that...
Washington: I am going to break you... Private Tucker.
Tucker: Ooh, I'm shaking in my armor.
Washington: Inside this tunnel is an elaborate obstacle course designed to test both your reflexes and your mettle.
Tucker: Uhh... like... copper?
Washington: No, that's metal. I said "mettle".
Tucker: Whatever.
Washington: On your mark... get set...
Tucker: This is such bull...
Wash proceeded to shot Tucker's leg.
Tucker: SHIT! OW! OKAY! I'M GOING!
Tucker races through the obstacle course. First, he attempts to shoot down two cones positioned on the side.
Tucker: Stupid fucking cones!
Tucker destroys an obstacle with his Energy Sword, then lands on a group of mines.
Tucker: Jesus Christ!
Tucker is then hit by several bullets.
Tucker: Oh, God! Where is this coming from?!
Tucker runs through the Halo 4 level "Reclaimer".
Tucker: Who are these people?
Tucker emerges, somehow, in the "Warthog Run" section of the Halo: Combat Evolved level "The Maw," running down Flood Combat Forms.
Tucker: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!
Tucker emerges from the obstacle course.
Washington: Congratulations, Private. That time was... adequate... for a beginner.
Tucker: (exhausted) What was... I don't...
Washington: Just an adrenaline rush Tucker. It'll wear off.
Tucker: I'm...
Washington: Shaking in your armor?
Caboose is seen anxiously running by
Caboose: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy... Hello, hello!
Washington: Caboose! Glad to see you're feeling better! I've got a little exercise for you! Inside this cave is an elaborate obstacle course, designed to...
Caboose quickly races through and completes the obstacle course in about two seconds, as he then leaves.
Caboose: Okay, that was fun! Gotta go do stuff! Don't ask questions! Thank you, goodbye!
Washington: ...I think that's enough training for today.
Tucker: Yeah...
Washington: Uh, I'm gonna go work on the Comm Tower.
Wash then leaves One and Tucker.
Tucker: Yeah...
As Tucker slow walks away, One looked towards the Obstacle course, looking at her two weapons.
One: ...
One proceeded to attempt Wash's Obstacle course and did, extremely poorly, missing a large majority of her shots, getting hit multiple times and making so many simple mistakes. At the end, One was panting and fell to her knees, frustrated and saddened.
One: I just can't do it without him...
(Timeskip)
Currently, Wash was attempting to fix the comm tower. One was sitting on the edge next to the tool box, while Tucker was standing behind them.
Tucker: I'm just sayin' I feel like somebody should have found us by now.
Washington: Hm?
Tucker: You know, it's like if a plane crashes and disappears that's fine, civilians, whatever.
Washington: Not sure if I agree with you on that.
Tucker: But this was a fucking spaceship. That's like national tragedy level important.
Washington: It was a big ship.
Tucker: And what about GPS? The Galactic Positioning System should have been able to inform Command of our location within seconds of a mayday.
One: And you know this, how?
Tucker: Uh... I read it in a book...?
One: I very much doubt that, but at the same time, I don't really care...
Washington: One, can you hand me the soldering iron?
One looked at the tool box and didn't see it.
One: It's not in here...
Washington: Dammit. This would be going so much faster if I didn't have to keep tracking down equipment evey five minutes.
Tucker: What, you think the Reds took it?
Wash cocks a shotgun and imitates Sarge.
Washington: "Men, it appears our shitty fortifications aren't meeting my ridiculous standards! Let's steal Washington's tank and fire it at our walls! That'll fix it."
Tucker: ...
One: ...
Washington: Yes, I think the Reds took it.
Tucker: Man, why are you so wound up all the time?
Washington: Because every second we're here is another second closer to death. Or worse.
Tucker: What's worse than death?
Washington: I don't know. I just thought it sounded dramatic.
Tucker: Come on, it's not that bad. I mean, if we were back in Blood Gulch, we'd be doing the exact same shit, you know.
Washington: There's just something about this place. I can't help but feel like we're being watched.
Tucker: Oh please. People get that feeling all the time. I had it for years.
One: But that's because you were being watched...
Washington: You were monitored by a secret organization for every second of every day.
Tucker: Well, I don't feel like I'm being watched now.
Washington: ...-_-... Thank you. I feel so much more secure.
Tucker: Don't be a dick.
Washington: Then don't be an idiot.
Tucker: The fuck is your problem?
Washington: My problem is that you're absolutely right. Somebody should've found us by now. Now where the hell is that goddamn soddering iron?
After awhile, One jumped down to try and help rewire circuits down below, with Tucker behind her.
Tucker: Hey baby, once your finished calibrating that tower, I have something else that needs calibrating too, if you catch my drift. Bow Chicka Bow Wow!
One: ...
Washington: Tucker, give the stupid pick lines a rest. One, how's it going?
One: I'm not sure...
Wash just sighed, as Tucker looked to his right.
Tucker: Hey Wash, I think we got a situation.
Washington: What kind of- (looks down and sees Red Team) ...Oh.
Grif: Good to see you too.
Washington: What do you want?
Sarge: Figured it be a good idea to come over and lend a hand.
Washington: No, that's a terrible idea. Please don't touch anything.
Simmons: But we could provide tech support!
Sarge: Have you tried using any D batteries?
One: Power isn't our problem. These battery arrays are solar.
Sarge: Well, there's your problem. This baby needs to be converted to diesel on the pronto!
Washington: Solar is field-standard for communication systems.
Sarge: Well ooh-la-la, Private Hippy! Hey, I got an idea; why don't we just plant a garden in? Grow some organic sun-dried tomatoes, and open a farmer's market. Then on the first Saturday of the month, when the UNSC ships show up to buy some fresh sustainable produce, we just hop on board and ride back on the power of love!
Washington: ...Tucker, if they touch anything, or if he makes any more suggestions, prod them with your sword.
Tucker: Ha ha, now that's something I can get behind! Bowchickaboww- Wait, no! No no no no no!
Sarge: Fine, well I guess you don't want any help from our incredibly advanced robotic companion.
Suddenly, a brown robot appeared behind Sarge.
Lopez 2.0: Hola. [Hello.]
Washington and One: Nope.
Grif: Racist!
Sarge: Hey tree-hugger, what if I told you it runs on recycled cooking grease? It's perfect. Grif sweats the stuff.
One: ...-_-... That's disgusting... and physically impossible...
Grif: What else was I supposed to drink once we ran out of soda?
Simmons: There's always water.
Grif: Please, what are we, cavemen?
Washington: I said no.
Lopez 2.0: ¿Seguro que no quieres ayuda? Esto parece un trabajo relativamente simple.[Are you sure you don't want help? This looks like a relatively simple fix.]
Tucker: Whoa, is that Lopez?!
Simmons: Not exactly. (whispers) This one isn't very smart.
Lopez 2.0: En serio chicos, estoy viendo el problema. Lo puedo arreglar justo ahora.[Seriously guys, I'm looking at the problem. I can fix it right now.]
Tucker: How can you tell?
Sarge: Oh, a mother knows.
One: Why is he set to Spanish?
Lopez 2.0: Bueno, si nadie me va a detener, voy a arreglar su torre de radio.[Okay, if no one is going to stop me, I'm going to fix your radio tower.]
Lopez 2.0 walks towards the base of the comm tower.
Washington: Why don't you three go check on our food supply? It's been a while since I've done a full inventory.
Simmons: You can't shove your bitch work on us! What do we look like?
Tucker: Uhhhh... Bitches?
Washington : Tucker, I want 100 squats.
Tucker: What? But it was leg day yesterday!
Washington : You are a space marine, private. Everyday is leg day.
After a moment of doubt, Tucker starts doing squats.
Tucker: This is bullshit.
Grif: Ha! Who is the bitch now?
Tucker: Your sister was my bitch if I remember correctly.
Grif: What did you say to me, bitch?
Washington : No one is a bitch, now both of you be quiet.
Grif: .... Simmons is kind of a bitch.
Simmons: Hey! What the fuck?!
Sarge: Ah, can it Private Bitch.
Simmons: (sulks) Yes, sir.
Tucker and Grif: Bitch.
Washington: I said be quiet!
Wash punches the radio box. The radio tunes up.
Grif: Holy shit.
Washington: It's working. I-I don't know what I did but it's working!
Lopez 2.0 emerges from under the comm tower.
Lopez 2.0: ¡Camaradas! ¡He reparado la torre de radio! ¿Están satisfechos con mi trabajo?[Comrades! I have repaired the radio tower! Are you pleased with my performance?]
Sarge: Lopez, you're ruining the moment.
Washington: Mayday, mayday, this is Agent Washington, can anyone read me? Over.
No response.
Grif: ... Maybe they're screening our calls.
Simmons: What do mean "they"? Who's "they"?
Grif: I dunno, people who know us?
Simmons: What?
Grif: Look, I wouldn't pick up the phone if any of you fuckers called me.
Washington: Mayday, mayday, we are survivors of a shipwreck, and are in need of immediate rescue, please respond.
Tucker: Don't call them back right away, you gotta wait, or else you'll look desperate.
Simmons: But we are desperate!
Washington: EVERYONE SHUT UP!
Grif: Woah...
Washington: Mayday, mayday, this is Agent Washington and the red and blue troopers of Project Freelancer! We are stranded, does anyone copy?
No response.
Washington: Mayday, this is Agent Washington, I am a soldier.
No response.
Washington: Is anybody out there?
No response.
Washington: Can anybody hear me?!
A voice can faintly be heard on the radio.
???: ... Hello? is someone there?
Washington: Yes! Yes, we're here! Do you read us?
???: .....Hello....is this...prank call.....
Washington: No no no no, this is real, please you have to listen to me! My men and I are shipwrecked!
Simmons: Its an emergency!
Grif: Black Hawk down!
Sarge: Code Red!
???: What? Like a lightish red?
Everyone pauses for a short moment taking in what the voice just said
Tucker: What the fuck did he just say?
???: Cause I mean, red is a pretty broad spectrum. There's scarlet, vermilion, like a deep burgundy.
Sarge approaches the radio.
Sarge: Donut, Is that you?!
Donut: Sarge? Oh hey guys, what have you all been up to?
Sarge: We're stranded in the middle of the jungle with dwindling food and limited supplies.
Donut: That sucks.
Grif: No shit, dickhead!
Sarge: Donut, I need you to listen to me. You need to send help. Call command.
Donut: Command? I think I know a guy if you want to turn this call into a three way.
Sarge: No...Don't do that. I need you to write down these coordinates
Washington turns to talk to the Reds
Washington: Who is Donut again?
Simmons: Cheery guy. Pink armor.
Grif: Kind of stupid.
Tucker: And a little-
Washington: Wait, didn't Zero shoot him?
Grif: Bingo.
One: ...
Washington: Got it. And he's competent enough to trust with our lives...?
Cut to Sarge and the radio
Donut: Sorry, did you say 'five' or 'nine'?
Sarge: I said eight.
Donut: Oh.
Washington: ...-_-... Right...
Washington walks back over to Sarge
Washington: Okay, Donut, those are our last known coordinates but be sure to let the rescue team know that we've got no clue where we actually landed.
Donut: Don't worry guys! No matter how deep the bush, Private Donut always finds his man.
Sarge and Washington both look at each other nervously.
Sarge: Roger that son.
Radio static cuts in
Donut: What was that? Your breaking up.
Washington: Just send help as fast as you can.
Donut: Okey dokey!
The radio loses connection and everyone goes quiet.
Grif: So, what happened?
Sarge: Well boys, I don't want to jinx us or anything like that but... we're gonna be rescued!
The Reds and Blues start cheering while Washington looks over from the Comm tower.
Simmons: I can't wait to eat a hot dog!
Washington: Now guys-
Sarge: Theres no possible way anything can go wrong! Everything is going to be good forever!
The group other then One continued celebrating.
Washington: Guys, it can still be a few days before they-
Sarge: Lets eat all the food rations tonight and then fire all of our excess ammunition indiscriminately into the air and celebrate!
The group other then One are still cheering and are shooting their guns in the air.
Simmons: Then lets fix up that old Warthog that's been hanging near our base!
The group are still cheering then realize what's been said and quiet down with confusion
Simmons: So we can crash it into the other Warthog because 'fuck it'!
The group continue cheering
Washington: Listen, lets not get our hopes up just yet.
Tucker: Aw, come on Wash. Lighten up. We did it, we made contact.
Washington: Well, it is the first good news that we've had in awhile.
Caboose runs over to the group
Caboose: Hey everyone!
Washington: Caboose! Where've you been?
Caboose: Yeah, I went on a walk like you said and now, everything is going to be good, forever!
Sarge: Told ya' so!
Washington: Wait, Caboose, you were miserable, what happened?
Caboose: Oh, where are my manners? I haven't even introduced him
Washington: Introduced who?...
Caboose: FRECKLES! COME! (whistling)
Suddenly, a series of loud, thuddering steps occurs, revealing the machine, the Reds and Blues silently look up slowly at the oncoming machine, which was a UNSC Assault Combat Drone.
Caboose: EVERYONE, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET FRECKLES! FRECKLES, say hello.
One: Oh...
Washington: You have got to be-
Freckles: Enemy soldiers detected.
Freckles takes aim at Grif and Simmons
Caboose: No, those aren't enemies, Freckles. Those are Grif and Simmons... our enemy.
Freckles: Firing main cannons.
Caboose: No! Bad Freckles! Down!
Freckles: Yes, Master.
Caboose: Bad Freckles...
Caboose turns back to the others
Caboose: So, what have you guys been up to?
Grif: Ahh...umm...
Elsewhere in a murky, misty forest where Washingtons distress signal can be heard playing
Washington: Mayday, mayday, this is Agent Washington and the red and blue troopers of Project Freelancer, we are stranded, does anyone copy?
Washington: Mayday, this is Agent Washington, I am a soldier.
Two unknown soldiers, one female, the other male are seen listening to the distress signal
Washington: Is anybody out there?.... Can anybody hear me?
The two solider both turn and look at each other, as the female spoke up.
???: Agent Washington of Project Freelancer, huh? It's been awhile since I heard that name. But if he's there, there's possibly that "they're" with him as well.