happy Easter 💙 icy gang.
Soleil left Siraj's place without so much of a goodbye. Luckily his door automatically locked once you walked out, otherwise she would've had to wait for him to wake up, as she didn't feel comfortable leaving his door unlocked.
She also wasn't ready to talk anymore about last night's incident. She felt she got her point across, and that it was solely up to him whether he wanted to fix it. She didn't plan on sitting down with Ximena to talk out their problems, feeling as if it were pointless and unnecessary anyways.
Especially when Ximena didn't seem to care about sitting down with her and resolve their issues. As grown as she was, she acted immature and dense.
Soleil tried being cordial with her, despite her doing little slick stuff around her but Soleil was tired of being the bigger person. She tried not to let people get her out of character, but her kindness was being taken for weakness — and one thing for sure, Soleil wasn't weak.
During her therapy session, she voiced her concerns about being too nice. While her therapist did slightly agree, she had been too kind in the situations that came up, she shouldn't change who she was because others weren't kind to her.
She recommended that Soleil continue to be transparent and authentic. To get out of the habit of being too overly accommodating for those who simply did not return the gesture.
Soleil surely was practicing being more assertive and standing more firm on her word. Still, Soleil had a lot more to work on when it came to herself, especially dealing with her emotions.
There were times where she exploded after keeping her emotions bottled in for so long, that eventually it ends up making the situation more dire than it need to be.
Now that she was journaling, she was learning how to articulate her feelings without feeling so overwhelmed and shutting down.
Soleil and Keia walked over to empty seats and sat down, sitting their luggage in front of them. The girls flights were an hour apart, Keia's flight taking off first.
After they went through TSA, they went to grab breakfast. As they did, Keia started to fill Soleil in on what happened after she left the club with Siraj.
"Yea' so, he was like 'you think she's mad?'" Keia told her, referring to her and Isidro's conversation. "I was like, she didn't seem like she was."
"I'm not mad, it just caught me off guard." Soleil spoke with a mouthful of food, her hand over her mouth. "Do you think I lead him on?"
Keia shook her head, biting into her bagel. "No, he probably just misread your body language. Was caught up in the heat of the moment, and thought y'all were hitting it off really well." she said, crossing one leg over the other.
"I don't know Keia, I was dancing all on that man."
"Girl no you weren't, it's not like you were throwin' ass on him. Just a li'l two step, and swaying your hips. When you did throw ass, he was nowhere behind you. If you were doing that — then, I could definitely understand if he thought you was on that type of time." Keia shrugged, reaching down to grab her iced coffee.
"I mean it still wouldn't have justified him kissing you, but I understand." she continued, putting her drink back down on the floor after taking a sip.
"The way Siraj reacted last night, you could've sworn I was fuckin' that man in front of him or some." Soleil rolled her eyes, sitting back in the chair.
"It definitely wasn't funny last night, but the way that man snatched you up. I damn sure was about to reach into that purse and grab the strap!" Keia joked, both of them beginning to laugh.
"Girl! He scared the fuck out of me, I think that's the first time I ever seen him that pissed. Mans look like he was boutta pop a damn vessel," Soleil cracked up, before taking another bite into her breakfast burrito. "But no, thanks for acting the way you did last night. Even though we both know he would never hurt me,"
"I know, it's just I can never be too sure, you know? You're my best friend, and I don't want something to happen to you. It's been too many times where women went home with guys and something bad happened, and their friends weren't there for them or offer any real support." Keia replied, dusting off her hands as she pop the last piece of her bagel into her mouth.
"Yeah...now that you mention it, I do need to go practice shooting. Niggas are definitely a new type of crazy out here, and I'd rather be safe than sorry." Soleil grabbed her raspberry lemonade, beginning to drink from the straw.
Keia hummed in agreement, "Mhm, my parents made sure I had the right stuff to protect myself, especially being on the other side of the country by myself. If you want to go to the gun range when you come back, we can." she turned her body towards her, folding one leg in the chair.
"For sure, I need to work on my aim. I still have my brother's you know...he kept it in his drawer or under the seat in his car — he didn't take it out with him that night, so it's still in there."
"Good, I'm sure he would want you to have your own protection."
"So," Soleil started grinning, moving a little closer to her. "How'd your night end?"
Keia begin blushing, starting to play with her hair. "My night ended very well," she giggled.
"Ooh, you so nasty!" Soleil scrunched up her face, playfully pushing her.
"Giiirl, he's nasty! That dick had me contemplating if I wanted to miss my flight, I was not ready for him to leave." Keia threw her head back, slightly groaning as she thought back to her rendezvous with Ty.
"I love ittt!" Soleil laughed, poking her. Keia linked arms with her, resting her head on her shoulder. "I'm glad one of us ended our night with some loving," she sighed, messing with Keia's acrylic nails.
"Miss girl, you could've gotten some loving last night too."
"Not you saying I should've hit it and quit it." Soleil burst with laughter. "I wanted to though, he looked so damn good Keia — oh my gosh, the way he was being so authoritative wit' me. Had me ready to drop them drawls, but I had to remember who the fuck he was talkin' to."
"He loves you Soleil, he was just a li'l hurt to see another man kissing his woman."
Soleil hesitated for a moment, staring down at the floor. "Y-you think he loves me?" she asked her. Keia sat up straight and looked at her with a funny expression.
"You don't?" Keia raised her eyebrows.
Soleil half shrugged, twisting her lips to the side. "I mean, I don't know...he's never told me. And we haven't really been together that long."
Keia sucked her teeth, waving her off. "Girl, time means nothing. There's people out there that have fallen in love within a week or two and have gotten married, and still are married to this day. He's been a better man to you in that short timeframe, than Elias has. And y'all almost reached a year. He loves you, Soleil. Trust me. The way that man acts around you, any blind person can even see it." she preached to her, making vague hand gestures with her free hand.
"Right now he's just being a man, men do stupid shit and it takes them awhile to figure out how to get themselves out of the situation. Siraj seems like a passionate man, when he loves, he loves hard. And the way he acted last night, despite y'all not even talking for two weeks — you definitely got a hold on that man, sis."
"I really wanna be wit' him," she spoke in a soft voice. "I just want him to understand where I'm coming from, it's like he's not trying to fight for our relationship. I asked him what was he going to do to try and fix it, and he told me he didn't know. It's like...how can you not know when it comes to someone you supposedly have feelings for? If it were me in that position, he wouldn't have to question where we stand. In order to fix what we have, you have to fix the problem with Ximena."
"I know, I'm sorry pooh. Men are complicated creatures, and they say that we are, but I think that they are just as equally complicated as us." Keia lightly squeezed her knee in a reassuring manner.
"Why do men have to be so stupid, sometimes?" Soleil whined.
For the next hour, the two girls sat and chatted with each other until Keia's flight was called to board. They embraced and said their goodbyes, wishing each other a safe flight.
Soleil texted her family, letting them know she would be boarding soon. Selah had texted her, a little way more excited than Soleil, to have her visiting the city she'd be calling home for the past few years.
Siraj expected Soleil to still be in Semaj's room when he woke up the next morning. However, she was long gone before he even awoke. He tried texting her, but to no avail, he was still blocked.
He hated that they were at each other's throats, yelling and reaching no real resolution to their problem. He usually wasn't one to get out of character like he did last night, but seeing another guy kiss the woman he was feeling heavily left a bad taste in his mouth.
Especially after he had already voiced his concerns to Soleil about it. It was almost like Isidro was mocking him, even though she didn't feel the same, he was able to do what Siraj wasn't able to.
Siraj wanted nothing more than to just hold her, snuggle with her — simply have a regular conversation with her. It was bothersome how they went from talking everyday and practically being up under each other to her blocking him, acting as if he were completely nonexistent.
Though he partially blamed Ximena for the downfall of their relationship, he wholeheartedly couldn't blame anyone but himself. Seeing Soleil shed tears over him, made him feel like complete shit. The last thing he ever wanted to do was make her cry — only if it were for a good reason.
He needed to make it up to her, he wanted to make things right between them.
He just needed a way to get in contact with her first, when he stopped by her house later on that afternoon on his way to his mom's house, he wasn't able to get an answer from her despite both her car and Keia's car being in the driveway. Just when he thought they were probably ignoring him, Ms. Jean — who happened to come out right before he left, informed him that she had left for New York and of course she would be the one house sitting for the time that she would be gone.
Siraj cursed himself for letting her walk away last night, he for sure wasn't going to be able to get in contact with her now that she was in a different state. However, he was happy that she was enjoying herself more, and was able to spend time with her sister.
Even though Soleil loved being with her friends, she enjoyed being with her family even more. Like him, she was big on family, and cherished every moment with them.
After the night he had, he for sure needed to be around his family. Just two days prior, his mom proposed a family dinner for Sunday. She hadn't been able to spend any time with her children since they were all indulged in their own businesses and their own lives.
Despite her children being grown and on their own now, she wanted to make sure that they spent time together as a family — just like they use to before they even moved out.
Siraj closed the top on the grill, sitting the tongs down on the side. As his mom and sisters were inside preparing the rest of the food, he was outside grilling the ribs and chicken.
He walked inside, her sisters and mom sharing a laugh as they maneuvered around the kitchen. Before he sat down at the island, the doorbell rang. He furrowed his eyebrows, shooting his mom a look as they weren't expecting anyone else — at least he thought they weren't. Tasha's dog, Poochie, ran to the front door beginning to bark as she usually did whenever someone was at the door.
"Man move, yo' li'l ass ain't gone do nothing." Siraj laughed, opening the front door.
Ximena stood on the other side, holding Semaj's hand and an aluminum pan in the other. He raised his eyebrow in confusion, but stepped aside for them to walk in. "What's up, li'l man?" Siraj greeted his son, picking him up as he held his arms out for him. "You been a good boy for mommy?"
Semaj nodded his head, but remained quiet. Ximena continued to stand there, waiting for Siraj to acknowledge her but he never did, instead walking away with Semaj in his arms.
"Hey to you too, Siraj." Ximena scoffed, shutting the door behind her and locking it. She followed him into the kitchen sitting the pan down onto the counter. "Hey everyone," she smiled, walking around the counter to give them a hug.
"Hey girl, you bought the banana pudding?" Tasha narrowed her eyes, Ximena chuckled and nodded, pointing to the aluminum pan. "Good — hey, grandma's baby!" she exclaimed, reaching for Semaj.
"Hi grandma," Semaj spoke in a soft voice, Tasha pouted, tilting her head.
"What's wrong baby?" Tasha questioned him, taking his small hand in hers.
"He's been like that all day," Ximena sighed, briefly looking down at her feet. "He won't tell me what's wrong,"
Poochie jumped on Tasha's leg, trying to get to Semaj. Tasha put him down, Poochie beginning to jump on Semaj. "Aww look Maj, Poochie happy to see you!" Tasha pointed at the small Yorkie.
Siraj turned around and walked back out onto the patio, he sat down in one of the pool chairs, letting go of a deep breath. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Ximena or even look at her. However, he couldn't really say anything as his mom did have a good relationship with her and occasionally invited her to their family dinners.
"Daddy," he heard Semaj's voice appear from behind him. He glanced back and saw Semaj approaching him, Poochie hot on his trail.
"What's up? You okay?" he held his hand out, Semaj climbing onto his lap. Semaj rested his head on his shoulder, playing with the chain around his neck. "Talk to me,"
"Can we go see, Lei Lei?" Semaj asked him. Siraj grimaced, fixing his shirt.
"Soleil is in New York,"
"When is she coming back?"
"I don't know, li'l man." he said. "You'll have to ask mommy if you can see her, when she comes back."
He heard as Semaj heavily sighed, he didn't speak another word as he continued to play with his chain. He knew sooner or later, Semaj would ask if he was able to see Soleil.
He held a genuine bond with her, Soleil was the only other person outside of both of their families that Semaj absolutely loved.
Now that Ximena had made herself clear she didn't want Soleil around, he wasn't entirely too sure how Semaj would act. He would take Semaj over to Soleil's house any day, even if they weren't on talking terms, just so the two could keep their bond.
He just couldn't risk Ximena being spiteful and keeping his son away from him though.
He had talked to his family about the situation, and they proposed that if it came down to it, he should take Ximena to court to ensure joint custody of Semaj.
Siraj wasn't too fond on the idea, not wanting to drag his son through something messy like that, simply because his mom wouldn't grow up and act like the adult that she was.
But for his son, he would do anything. He had been thinking about it for a couple days now, he wanted to hold one last conversation with Ximena before he decided.
If he decided to go through with those plans of taking her to court, it would solely be to ensure that in the future if he possibly started to date someone else that she end up having issues with, she wouldn't pull the same stunt that she did with Soleil.
It had been the first time she ever done that before, and he wanted it to be the last. The feeling of having to choose between his son and someone he truly cared about, just didn't sit right with him.
"Whew chile', it's hot in there." Emerie fanned herself, stepping out onto the patio with a wine cooler in her hand. "Maji, hi big boy!" She leaned down to kiss him on the head.
Emerie sat down next to Siraj in the other pool chair, taking a sip of her wine cooler. "It feels nice out today," she said, getting comfortable in the chair.
"Mhm," Siraj hummed, focusing on the pond that was in the middle of everyone's backyard. The ducks lazily swimming on the surface, creating small ripples in the water each time they moved their wings.
"You okay?" Emerie tilted her head a little, taking notice of the bothered look on his face. He shook his head, licking over his lips.
He put Semaj down, straightening his shirt once more. "Go ask grandma if you can play wit' her tablet," Siraj told him. Semaj turned around and walked back inside, the small dog following behind him.
Siraj waited until he was out of sight before turning towards his sister. "This shit wit' Soleil really got me stressed out," he admitted, rubbing his forehead.
"Did something else happen?" Emerie shifted in the chair, holding her wine cooler in her lap.
"Yea' last night, I really don't wanna go into detail but just know the shit really got me outta character." he said.
"Out of character, how?" Emerie pressed him, shooting him an uneasy look.
"Had me in the club, yelling and shit. You know I'm not one to do that out in public, but that shit really had me riled up." he started to explain. "We end up going back to my place and we get into this heated argument. And she's just like, she really hate that she gave me a chance and that shit was kind of hurtful."
"Well, can you blame her, Siraj?" Emerie shrugged, gesturing her hand towards the house, subtly hinting at the Ximena situation. "She tries to act innocent around us, but we all see through that bullshit. She's a li'l possessive when it comes to you."
"I don't know what to do,"
"See that's what pisses me off about y'all men, y'all are so clueless when it comes to relationships. If it were Ximena, you'd know exactly what to do—"
"What?" Siraj twisted up his face, snapping his head in her direction.
"Don't look at me all stupid and shit, the very last time you and her got into that big ass argument, and she claimed she was done wit' you, you did everything under the sun to make it up to her — went out of your way to fix that problem. So, why is it when it comes to Soleil, the situation is different? I'm going to assume she's told you what was wrong, she's practically giving you the blueprint," Emerie read him, he let out a humorless laugh, standing up from the chair.
"I'm real sick of y'all, reading me and shit. Y'all really think I'm not trying and I am—"
"No you're not, Siraj. If you were, you wouldn't be sitting here talkin' about this situation wit' Soleil has you stressed out. The situation would've been handled the moment Ximena made you choose between Soleil and your son. If you were trying, this wouldn't still be going on weeks later." she scoffed, rolling her eyes as she took another sip from her wine cooler.
"This is part of the reason why I don't do men anymore, y'all make shit complicated when it doesn't need to be." she muttered to herself, slightly shaking her head.
"Siraj," Ximena stepped outside, tucking her hands into her back pocket. He glanced over at her with an annoyed expression, still remaining quiet. "Can I talk to you real quick?"
"I'm not in the mood to talk," he waved her off, turning around to walk back over to the grill. Ximena sighed and walked over to him, standing next to the grill. "Ximena, leave me alone man. I'm not in the mood to deal wit' yo' shit, deadass."
"But—"
"Is it about Semaj?" he cut her off, giving her the side eye.
"No but—"
"A'ight then, gone on bout yo' business. We ain't got shit to talk about," he shooed her away, opening up the grill, smoke filling the air.
Ximena shifted her weight, crossing her arms under her chest. "Siraj, are you seriously going to act this way because of Soleil?" she slightly frowned.
"It's not even about Soleil anymore, it's way deeper than that. Our son just came to me and asked if he could go see her, I had to tell him she wasn't home rather instead tell him that he's not allowed to see her — why? Because then I'd have to tell him his mom doesn't want him around Soleil — even though he wants to be." he said, picking up the meat with the tongs and putting them into the aluminum pan.
"Talkin' bout he won't tell you what's wrong, you know what's wrong wit' him, but you bitter as fuck — you'd rather let your pride get in the way than to let your son see someone he loves. You don't give a fuck about his feelings, not once throughout this situation have you sat down wit' your own son — the one person who you so called protecting and asked him about Soleil. And don't even say he's too young to understand, because that'll be bullshit."
"This is all about you, and the false narrative of Soleil so called snaking you because we ended up together. It's not even about us anymore at this point, it's about him. You hurting your own son in the process, to try and make me miserable. So yeah, I got every reason to act the way I do now, because you dragging my son in the middle of some petty ass shit and don't even care."
"So again, if it ain't concerning our son — then we don't have shit to talk about." Raj turned off the grill and slammed the lid shut, causing both Emerie and Ximena to flinch at the sound. Siraj grabbed the pan and walked past her, Tasha and Arielle standing at the sliding door, watching what was unfolding.
"Siraj..." Tasha called him, he ignored her and brushed past her. They all watched him disappear inside, before the three women turned their attention onto Ximena who stood with tears in her eyes.
It was the first time, they'd ever seen her cry. Though they did feel bad for her, they understood where Siraj was coming from and how he felt.
They hated that Semaj was dragged in the middle of it, and it was affecting him.
what's up? y'all ate good? what y'all did? y'all got some easter baskets?
thoughts on this chapter?
the next few chapters are going to focus solely on Soleil being in New York so, just a heads up, in case y'all become confused about why Siraj ain't making no appearances.
anyways I don't have much to say. hope y'all had a good day, we back to the grind tomorrow!
anyone going to prom? it's like I ain't been seeing no type of prom pictures lmao and ik it's prom szn.
another thing, totally irrelevant. 😂 I just wanna say, I think it's absolutely hilarious watching the emotional roller coaster I take new readers on when they read Midnights Lotus for the first time.
Like they be commenting 'FTR 🙂' all happy and shit LMAOOOOOOO and I be like, oh you done fucked up now. LMFAO and when they be replying to older comments, folks be like good luck, or keep reading it gets more stressful.
That shit be cracking me up 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 cause I really stressed y'all the hell out with that book.
It's fun watching y'all be in distress. 🤭
y'all be easy though,
thanks for reading guys,
see y'all in the next chapter - Wynter 💙