***Connor’s POV***
“Connor.”
I sighed and turned to face Blake. “What do you want?”
He stepped up to me and glared. “I’m glad you’re finally getting a taste of this kind of pain. It hurts to love the person you love, huh?”
I felt my eyes watering, sick of all of this. “Yea, Blake. And I lost the four people I loved most.”
He stared at me in confusion. I let out a bitter laugh at his expression. I wiped at my eyes and shook my head at him.
“You’re so stupid Blake. You said it yourself; I’m a liar. I lied to you the night I broke it off. I never used you for sex. I loved you, Blake. I told you that yesterday, and I meant it. At first, I used you to ease my pain. But as soon as we kissed, I knew I had feelings for you. And when we had sex that night, part of it was to ease the pain, but the majority of it was because I had feelings for you,” I said.
“Don’t cry Connor. I’m more of a horrible person that you ever will be,” he said, stepping up to me and gently brushing a tear off of my cheek.
He gulped and guilt exploded in his eyes. “I think part of the reason I did all of this was jealousy. I was jealous that Luka had you when I couldn’t. Sure, I told Luka because I felt guilty that I slept with his boyfriend. But I also told him to get back at you and to…to get back at him. For having you when I couldn’t. For taking your heart. This whole thing changed me for the worst.”
“I’m sorry Blake. I hate who we’ve become,” I said in disgust.
“I love you Connor. But I still hate you for the night you broke it off. For the way you treated me then, and after. And I still think you deserve this pain,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
He turned and walked away from me. I watched him go, my heart aching. Another person walking away from me.
I turned to head out to my car and leave school. I jumped back in surprise, and Felix raised an eyebrow at me.
“I’m disgusted with you,” he said flatly.
“Stop,” I mumbled, dropping my gaze. “I already feel like shit for what I did Felix. I know what I did, and I know how horribly wrong it was.”
“Connor Garret Brennan, get your shit together,” he said.
I looked up at him, confused. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t think you deserve Luka. Hell, I know you don’t deserve Luka. Not after what you did to him. But the guy still loves you. I know he wants to be with you. But you have to let him know that you’re really sorry about what you did,” he said with a sigh.
He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know why I’m even saying this to you. I just…I think it would hurt Luka even more to lose you than it would to try to repair your relationship. I’m just trying to look out for him. You and Blake don’t deserve a shoulder to lean on, but Luka does. He’s the victim in all of this. But I think he needs you more than either of you realize. You guys are in love, and just because you crushed him, it doesn’t change those feelings.”
“Felix…” I trailed off, unsure of what to say. “I don’t want to hurt him anymore. I think it would be best if I just left him alone and let him figure it out for himself.”
Felix reached out and slapped me, hard. I stared at him in complete shock as I winced and recoiled away from him.
He glared at me. “That was for cheating on Luka, and for being a complete moron. Will you just stop feeling sorry for yourself? Luka needs you Connor. You can’t just leave him alone. I know you’re the one who hurt him, but you need to fight to show him how sorry you are. Luka deserves that. Are you just going to give him up like that? At the very least, explain why you did it. Surely you must have had a reason. I’ve known you almost my whole life, and I know for a fact that you’re not some horny teen boy. You must have had a reason.”
I opened my mouth and snapped it shut, realizing that Blake hadn’t shown Felix the video of my parents. Felix had no idea that my parents neglected and occasionally hit me. He just…knew me.
I nodded at him slowly. “Okay. I’ll go to Luka’s house and talk to him.”
“Thank you,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to see Luka change into someone he’s not. You and Blake have changed into horrible, despicable people. But Luka doesn’t have to.”
“Thank you for being there for him Felix,” I said sincerely. “No matter what happens, you have to stay by his side. If he doesn’t want me around anymore, I’ll feel a little better knowing he’s not alone.”
“I won’t let Luka be alone. He’s one of my best friends. And I’m loyal.” With that, he turned and walked away from me.
I left school and got in my car. I turned my music on and took off towards Luka’s house, trying to decide what to say to him.
I pulled into his driveway and got out of the car, going up to the door and ringing the doorbell. I waited until Tammy opened the door.
“Connor, what happened to Luka?” she asked, the concern in her eyes killing me. “He’s so upset, and he won’t tell me or Paul what’s wrong. Did something happen at school?”
I shook my head slowly. “No. I’ll go talk to him and see if I can make him feel better,” I said silently. He was so hurt that he couldn’t even talk to his parents about it. Luka and his parents were incredibly close.
God dammit, what had I done to him? How could I have let myself hurt Luka like this? He didn’t deserve it.
“Thank you Connor,” she said, letting me into the house. “Please, make him feel better. I’ve never seen my Luka so upset before. It’s killing me.”
I winced a little and nodded. I walked through the kitchen, keeping my head down as I passed by Paul.
“Connor?”
I froze and slowly turned to face Paul. “Yea Paul?” I asked nervously.
He got up and came over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Please make him feel better,” he said, his eyes pleading. “Luka’s never been this upset before, and I think you’re the only one who could possibly cheer him up.” He gave my shoulder a light squeeze before releasing it.
I hurried away from him and up the stairs. I hesitated before knocking on Luka’s bedroom door and waiting.
He pulled the door open and stared at me blankly. “Come in,” he mumbled, letting me into his room and shutting the door.
I sat on his bed and he sat next to me. He searched my eyes before biting his lip. Tears pooled in his eyes.
“Just tell me what happened that night Connor. Don’t start apologizing. Just tell me everything that happened that night. Everything.”
I nodded at him and told him everything. I told him how my parents had made me the invisible boy for several months, how desperate I had been, my shouting at them, and my crying. I told him how I hadn’t wanted to upset him, so I went to Blake’s house. I told him about Blake making me feel better with a comforting hug. I told him how he kissed me, and how I kissed him back. How we had fallen victims to lust and pain. How we had sex, and how awful we felt in the morning. How Blake had comforted me despite his own guilt and horror at what we had done. How my feelings for him came alive during the kiss and the sex. And how I loved him, and couldn’t bring myself to get away from him. Then I told him about my guilt, and everything that had happened from the night I decided to call it off right up until Blake told Luka we’d had an affair together. And I didn’t leave a single thing out. I told him the whole truth.
Luka took a deep breath, wiping at his eyes. He reached out and clutched my hand tightly, staring into my eyes.
“Why didn’t you just tell me about your parents Connor? You didn’t have to feel so alone,” he whispered.
“I couldn’t, Luka. I didn’t want to worry you guys, and I didn’t want to get taken away from my mom and dad. And…I couldn’t bring myself to admit that it was happening,” I said honestly.
He rested his head on my shoulder, beginning to cry. “I can’t believe you. I can’t believe you would ever be a cheater, for any reason.”
I wrapped an arm around him, feeling miserable and depressed. “I’m so sorry Luka. No matter what happens to us, I want you to know that.”
“I do know it Connor. I know you’re sorry, and I know you regret it. But I just can’t forgive you yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to. I need some time to think things through.”
I nodded at him. “Take all the time you need Luka. I don’t want you to regret anything,” I said sadly. “And I will never judge you for whatever you chose to do about us in the future. If I lose you…” I gulped. “If I lose you, it’s my own fault.”
Luka pulled away from me and wiped at his eyes. “You should leave now Connor. I need to think about all of this,” he said, looking down at his feet.
I got up and went to his bedroom door. I placed my hand on the door handle and hesitated, turning back to Luka.
“I love you so much, and I’m so sorry about all of this Luka.” I left his room and went downstairs.
His parents looked at me hopefully, but their hope died as they saw my tortured expression. I didn’t meet their eyes as I let myself out of the house. I had destroyed their only son, and they didn’t even know it. I was an awful person.
***Blake’s POV***
“Blake, why are you so quiet?” my mom asked curiously.
“Just don’t have anything to talk about mom,” I mumbled, tossing a baseball up and catching it. I was lying down on my couch, just playing with the baseball. My dad was sitting in the chair next to the couch, and my mom was setting the table in the dining room for dinner.
“Did something happen between you and Connor?” dad asked, glancing at me. “You always used to talk about him and have him over. But you barely mention him anymore, and I haven’t seen him here in a while.”
“Nothing happened between me and Connor,” I lied, tossing the baseball up and catching it again.
“I like Connor. He’s a very nice boy,” mom said and dad nodded in agreement.
“Yea. Connor’s great,” I said, getting up. “I have some homework to do. I’ll be in my bedroom.”
I hurried into my bedroom and shut the door, collapsing on my bed. God, imagine in my parents found out I had slept with Connor.
My parents were so heavily against sex before marriage. They were fine with my being gay, but if they found out I’d had sex, they would probably ground me for the rest of my life, rip my dick off, and give it back to me as a wedding present.
What a joyful thought.
I sighed sadly. I had gotten my revenge on Connor, and I was damn glad I had. He deserved it for being such a lying bastard.
But I still felt awful. I hated to see Connor in any sort of pain. He was my best friend, and the boy I loved.
I heard my doorbell ring and rolled over, burying my face against my pillow. I had to stop feeling sorry for Connor. He had brought this all on himself.
There was a knock on my door and I picked my head up. I pushed myself off of my bed and opened my bedroom door.
“Luka,” I said in surprise.
“I need to talk to you Blake,” he mumbled.
I stepped aside and let him into my bedroom, shutting the door and sitting next to him on my bed. He sighed and looked at me sadly.
“I need your help,” he said.
“My help? With what?” I asked nervously. I thought Luka would’ve hated me for sleeping with his boyfriend. I was surprised to see him at all.
“You owe me, Blake. You owe me for sleeping with Connor and lying to me about it. You’re both at fault, and you both hurt me.”
I nodded at him, dropping my head in guilt and shame. I really did feel bad about dragging Luka into this. But at the same time, I knew part of me had done it all out of jealousy. Luka had taken the heart of the boy I loved.
“I need you to seduce Connor.”
My head whipped up and around and my eyes went wide as I stared at Luka. “Have you lost your fucking mind?” I cried.
He glared at me. “I don’t like the f-word.”
“Fine. Have you lost your freaking mind?!”
Luka shook his head. “No. I want to forgive Connor, but I lost my trust for him. I need to gain it back. I need to see where his loyalties lie. So I want you to try to seduce Connor. I have a plan. Get him here, and try to get him to kiss you or sleep with you or…anything. Mostly try to get him to sleep with you. But don’t you dare give it away that I put you up to this. I’ll let him know when it’s all over. I just…Blake, I need to know.”
I bit my lip and nodded slowly. “Okay Luka. I’ll do it. I owe it to you. I’m sorry about the affair, and I’m so sorry about hurting you,” I whispered.
“I don’t want to lose you as a friend Blake. You both lost my trust, but I don’t want to lose you guys,” he said sadly.
I hugged him tightly, and let me. “I know we can never make it up to you, but I’ll do everything I can,” I promised him.
Luka looked into my eyes. The poor guy had probably cried oceans since I had showed him that video and told him about the affair. His eyes were bloodshot, and so sad looking that it made me cringe inside.
“Tomorrow afterschool, you’re going to seduce Connor,” he said. I nodded at him.
I knew his plan. He wanted to see where Connor’s loyalties lied to determine if they had a future or not. Everything rested on Connor’s shoulders now. His choice tomorrow would determine the outcome of this entire mess.
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A.N.- Do you guys think Connor's going to fall for it, or do you think he's going to stay loyal to Luka? :c