My heart was yours before I met you, my heart is yours now, and my heart will be yours when you finally leave me. It will forever be yours because it was made for only you.
♰
~Author's POV~
Jimin never understood why people didn't worship god.
He didn't hate people who chose to believe in something else, nor did he try to force his religion on them, but he never quite understood why people like Jungkook chose not to believe in it.
He was always taught that all the good things in life were because of god, and that the reason he had such a good life was because his lord had chosen it for him.
His mother told him that the outsiders struggled so much because they chose not to appreciate who they came from. That god was punishing them because they were selfish.
Jimin didn't quite believe that though.
He never said it out loud, but he believed as long as they were good people god would love them, even if they chose to have doubts about him. Surely most of them had there reasons for not being apart of the church, even if it was hard for Jimin to see.
Dae was a good person, and so were Jungkook and Jennie.
That was all that mattered to Jimin.
He knew his parents would surely kill him if they found out, and he would be lying if he said disappointing them didn't scare him, but he always found himself smiling when he was hanging out with the siblings.
In his mind he felt guilty about misjudging Jungkook, and for worrying that the man would be unkind, but now he couldn't help himself from feeling slightly excited every time he would see the tall raven.
He convinced himself it wasn't a big deal, and that he wouldn't get shy every time he heard the elders name, trying to act neutral every time they would speak. But what he didn't know was Jungkook saw all of it..
The raven saw every time Jimin would blush or stutter, or when he would become extra happy when Jungkook would try to talk to him. Jungkook was always good about reading people, and as much as he denied it.. it excited him to make Jimin like this.
He loved having an effect on him.
He also found himself feeling slightly guilty the more they spoke. It had only been a couple of conversations, but every single one made Jungkook see just how genuine Jimin was.
He was kind, innocent, and pure. Three things Jungkook had dismissed the first time they spoke. Jimin was so sweet that it kept eating at the man how much he was taking advantage of it.
Jimin didn't see that though, he was just happy that it seemed like he was making a new friend. Jungkook was one of the coolest people he had ever seen, with the way he didn't care what people thought, and carried himself without doubts. It all made Jimin admire him so much more..
"Why do you have so many tattoos?" He finds himself asking the raven in front of him, taking a bite of his ice cream when Jungkook chooses to look at him.
He had only barely woken up when Jungkook randomly invited him for ice cream, texting him about how knew this place by his house.
Now you can imagine Jimin's smile from the random text. After all, this was the first time Jungkook had messaged him, and it made him even more excited that the raven wanted to hang out.
He was nervous at first, but quickly snapped out of it, choosing to put on his favorite sweater before quickly heading out the door.
The raven finds himself smirking at Jimin's curiosity, choosing to roll up a sleeve and making Jimin's eyes light up in awe.
"Well they all have meanings, but I'll have to tell you about those some other time. I got a lot of them to cover up scars though." He says, pointing to a long lump across his forearm, now covered by ink.
Jimin bites his lip as he studies the art, finding guilt settle in his stomach when he questions how Jungkook got those scars.
"Don't sweat about it blondie." Jungkook says, seeming to read Jimin's mind as he gives him a reassuring smile. "We all have scars, I find it best just to cover them and move on though." He finishes, making Jimin look up with a small smile.
"Well maybe I should get some then, so that way we can match." Jimin says, giggling when Jungkook immediately shakes his head.
"I'm not sure they would fit you." The raven says, taking one of Jimin's pale hands in his own for emphasis.
"I think I prefer the contrast, don't you?" He teases, looking at Jimin's flawless skin against his inked one, finding himself admiring how much smaller the blondes hand was against his own.
Jimin finds himself heating up when Jungkook takes his hand, red splotches forming on his cheeks when he sees Jungkooks palm basically swallowing his.
They were both so different..
Jimin's hand pale and smooth while Jungkooks were rough and covered, small tattoos decorating the area around his knuckles beautifully.
Jungkook finds himself holding the blondes hand longer than needed, subconsciously enjoying the way it fit so perfectly in his.
Like a puzzle..
"Y-Yeah." Jimin tries to break the silence, pulling his hand away so he can take a bite of his ice cream.
He could only hope it would cool his cheeks down..
"You know, your friend the other day had quite the personality." Jungkook changes the subject for the blondes sake, chuckling when Jimin looks up basically the same color as a fire hydrant.
"Oh Taehyung, yea I'm sorry about that. It's really hard for him to approve of people." Jimin says apologetically.
"Yea I figured. I can only imagine how he is with people your dating." Jungkook mutters, smirking internally when he hears Jimin start to choke on his ice cream.
"U-Um I've never dated anyone." The blonde says with embarrassment, biting his lip when Jungkook pauses mid bite.
"You've never dated someone?" The raven asked, genuinely shocked since Jimin could probably have anyone he wanted.
Unless..
"Jimin, if you don't mind me asking, have you ever had a crush on a girl before?" Jungkook asks, finding himself staring at the blonde when only silence meets him.
"Well.. what does a crush feel like?" Jimin slowly asks, hoping that maybe Jungkooks definition would match up with something he had felt for a girl before.
It didn't..
"Hm.. Well a crush is something you feel when your attracted to someone. If your around them you might feel nervous or get that weird feeling in your stomach, and a lot of the time it makes you happy when you get to be with them." He says, looking back at Jimin with a small smile. "Have you ever experienced that?" Jungkook asks.
Jimin had never felt like that.. not for a girl at least.
"N-No, I don't think so, but I'm sure I will one day. Maybe I just haven't been trying hard enough." Jimin tries to say confidently, his tone almost sounding guilty as he avoids Jungkooks gaze.
"Jimin, you shouldn't have to try and like someone. That stuff just comes naturally." Jungkook says, his eyebrows furrowed as Jimin only looks to the table in shame.
"We'll maybe something's just wrong with me then." He hears the blonde sadly mutter, his ice cream long forgotten along with his appetite.
"God, they really fucked him up didn't they?" Jungkooks mind echoes.
"Jimin.. have you maybe.. ever had a crush on a boy before?" Jungkook finds himself slowly asking. He knew that he probably shouldn't, and that the blonde could react badly, but he couldn't help it after seeing how confused the boy in front of him was.
Jimin's eyes immediately widen. "W-What no, I can't like a b-boy." He says frantically, pausing for a moment.
"Boys aren't suppose to like other boys" He eventually mumbles, somehow finding the question even more embarrassing coming from Jungkook.
He never expected what the raven said next though..
"I like boys." He says calmly, making Jimin's head immediately snap up and look at him with wide eyes.
"You do?" Jimin asks immediately, his jaw almost on the floor as he processes it.
"Yes Jimin, even more than girls if I'm being honest." He says once more, watching in amusement as the boy only continues to stare at him. Jimin honestly seemed more shocked than anything, after all this was his first time hearing of someone who openly liked the same gender.
They would kill you if you did such a thing where he was from..
He didn't feel disgusted by it, he could never hate someone for being who they wanted, but he was envious that Jungkook was so freely able to say what he liked.
Jimin was always scared that the church would disprove of those things..
"Jungkook.. how did you know that you liked boys?" He asks after a moment, avoiding eye contact since it was such an awkward subject. Such things didn't faze Jungkook, but he understand that Jimin probably didn't talk about this stuff with other people.
"Well I was never really attracted to women how a lot of my friends were, and I realized as a kid that I payed a lot more attention to boys than most people did. I found it more enjoyable to imagine myself with a boy instead of a girl, and I realized that I would think of men slightly more sexually." He finishes, making Jimin blush at the last part.
"But god says it's wrong.. so how were you okay with being like that?" Jimin asks slowly, looking up when Jungkook puts his chin on his hand and leans forward slightly.
"I know I don't worship your god blondie, but did he ever tell you himself that he didn't like homosexuals?" The raven says, smirking when Jimin tries to search for an answer.
"Let me tell you something Jimin. I might think think that the Bible is a bunch of bullshit, but I have to respect that you don't. What I can tell you though is that your god would never make something he hated, and Jimin.. as perfect as you may be, you can't control who you're attracted to. So just don't fight it." Jungkook finishes, leaning back against his seat as he stares at the boys reaction in front of him.
Jimin didn't know what to make of what Jungkook had just said. It made sense, but it couldn't be true. Homosexuality was condemned for so many reasons where he lived, so how could he just change what he believed in.
Maybe his parents were right and he just hadn't been trying hard enough to like a girl, but he also couldn't help but worry if it's because he had been looking in the wrong place all along.
What if he was broken..
"Jungkook, why don't you believe in god?" Jimin finds himself asking, biting his lip to distract himself from the stream of thoughts.
"It doesn't concern you." Jungkooks cold voice suddenly snaps, making Jimin flinch at the sudden change in tone.
He should've known he was asking too much..
"I-I'm sorry." He whispers, putting his hands in his lap in a guilty manner.
He always hated when Jungkook got mad at him, and now he couldn't help but feel like he wanted to cry all over again.
Jungkook sighs, running a hand through his hair in distress. "Fuck- I didn't mean to snap at you Jimin, I just don't like to talk about that stuff okay?" He says, grabbing one of Jimin's hands for reassurance.
"Why don't we go to that one book store, hm? The one that you mentioned the other day." Jungkook offers, relief filling his chest when Jimin's eyes light up once more.
"Really? Are you sure, because we don't have to if I've made you mad-"
"Im not mad blondie, now come on before too many people show up." The raven says, offering his hand to the smiling boy so Jimin can calm down.
The blonde takes Jungkooks hand with a smile, swaying their arms as he leads the way to the bookstore.
He tries to ignore it. The happiness he feels when he's walking with Jungkook, the butterflies he gets when they hold hands.. Even in just a friendly manner it still made his cheeks red.
And it scared Jungkook that he was feeling the exact same thing..
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