CII. TO LET SOMEBODY GO
21:79 ─❁────────── 31:80
◁ Ⅱ ▷
❝We had that kind of love
I thought that it would never end❞
༻───────────────༺
HOW DID SHE DO IT?
How was she able to spend most of her years alone? Had she become so dependant on her friend's company to the point that she could not find any way to function by herself?
How did she ever become the way she was now? It was as if the mere thought of being alone again felt like something so impossible, but now that she must suffer the suffocating loneliness once again, she began to regret being s accustomed to her friend's presence.
She regretted ever letting her guard down.
As the hot wind of summer blew through her face mockingly while she sat on the windowsill of Ron's room, a leg dangling out as she looked out toward the aimless yonder while she pretended as if the ghoul that was pretending to be Ron with spattergroits in the attic over the room was never there. She found it ridiculously hard to feel any type of emotion whatsoever. The sky was beautiful, clear, and blue; the scenery was peaceful and quiet with the only sound was the present birds chirping, so why couldn't she sense any sort of happiness?
It's because your happiness was ripped away the moment they vanished.
Yeah, that could certainly be it as well.
Since that fateful evening where everything fell into chaos, her once tranquil heart had never stop from its storming state.
She had never been so tempted to see the world burn before... She wanted to set it on fire.
But she refrained herself, for she knew that would bring her no benefits if she were to do so. It would only end up being a bother to her than to release the stress she had been repressing this whole.
It would probably prove to be much more of a stressful job than to pretend that the remaining Weasleys in the Burrow were not watching her every move.
She was no fool. She knew what they have been doing — she could sense the eyes that were looking her way, observing her, tense like they were waiting for her to just jump and try to kill herself via the height she would always be in and for them to catch her before she could. It felt as though she was under the watchful eyes, and while she didn't like it, she refrained herself from vocalising it.
Sometimes, she merely bluffs a fall just to see if she could feel something — feel at least the adrenaline pumping through her veins when either of the Weasleys would set forth and 'catch' her. But in the end, she couldn't feel anything.
Like she was left numb for the rest of her life.
"Lucia, dear, what do you suggest having for lunch? I want to fix up something you would like," said Mrs. Weasley, approaching Lucia gingerly, as if scared that any wrong move could lead up to the imaginary rope of rationality within Lucia to snap.
Lucia spared a brief glance before she looked back ahead; it was only them in the house. Her, Mrs. Weasley, and Ginny, while the Mr. Weasley had to continue with work and so did the other Weasleys...
"You don't have to," she spoke, barely coherent. "It's okay, I don't want anything," she croaks.
"But you must," Mrs. Weasley said to her, sounding almost as if she was pleading. "It's been days now; you can't go on like this for forever. A jug of water a day is not healthy. How you are right now must not be healthy,"
Lucia didn't say anything, still looking out of the window.
Mrs. Weasley sighed, "Will you ever leave this room?"
She shook her head.
"They're fine," but to her, it sounded more as though Mrs. Weasley was trying to convince herself that. Lucia didn't blame her; it was the only thing they could do now: Being hopeful. "Arthur sent them a Patronus already, and it seem — we hope — that they've received it,"
"Really?" she asked quietly.
"I cannot assure you, but all we can do is hope that they will be all right," said Mrs. Weasley, and Lucia looked away. "You must trust them,"
Weren't you not trusting them a few days ago? "I do trust them. Who said I didn't?" she said, unbeknownst of her own quivering that made Mrs. Weasley's gaze softened at her. "I trust them with my life — I know they'll be all right, because they've been through a lot of things together and still made it through — I trust them, you know? I trust "
She held back the hot tears by the brim of her eyes that were glazing her vision, but she thought nothing of it.
"I trust them," said Lucia, apathetic.
"Oh, dear..." said Mrs. Weasley concerningly before a knock could be heard from the doorway.
Lucia flinched, however she sat put, head not turning no matter how curious she was. She resisted.
"Molly,"
Mrs. Weasley looked surprised as she whirled around at the call of her name. It was her husband. "Arthur, what on earth are you doing here? What about work?"
"It's lunch break," Mr. Weasley said simple, as he approached the two. "Ginny told me that you were in here..."
"If you're coming to question me again, Mr. Weasley. I advise you to back down and not waste your time because I can't help you at all," Lucia stated blankly.
Mr. Weasley heaved out a breath, sitting down beside his wife as they both gazed at the ebony-haired girl that had so stubbornly locked herself in their youngest son's room for days without food, water acting as the only thing that could feed her.
"You're mistaken," started Mr. Weasley, taking a calmer approach with the fragile Lucia before him. "I'm not going to inquire you about Harry, Ron, and Hermione's wereabouts, or where they're planning to go, or whatever Dumbledore's mission was,"
Lucia flinched suddenly at the mention of the mission, in which Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had caught the action swiftly. However, they did not speak up about it.
"R-Really?" said Lucia thickly.
"Really," assured Mr. Weasley. "The Order agreed as well that we should stop bugging you about it. It's not the way to go. We want you to be okay, Lucia, we don't want to force anything on you," he added earnestly.
"W-Well, good," Lucia said in a guttural manner. "I-I'm glad that you've decided that asking me things like this is just a waste of you time,"
"We don't think guttural —"
"D-Do you know why?"
Mrs. Weasley looked at her husband concerningly.
"We don't, dear..."
"Because no matter how hard you try to bug me about it, I can never have the answer to your questions because I don't know where they are off to anyway,"
This came up as a surprise to the Wealsey matriarch and patriarch as they stared at the DiFiore heiress.
"Hold on, are you saying that you don't actually have an idea as to where they are?" Mrs. Weasley echoed her words, disbelief.
Lucia shook her head.
"Then what about -"
"The mission?" And they nodded, hoping for her to tell them finally. After weeks of being left in the dark, maybe they could finally assist Harry in some type of way — "I don't know,"
"Are you just saying that because it's Harry's wish as well?" asked Mrs. Weasley.
"No, I'm not,
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley looked at her with a puzzled expression when suddenly, she stood up from the windowsill.
"Even if I have the answer... even if I want to tell you both... I can't," she said, body began to tremble violently.
"Why's that?" asked Mr. Weasley softly.
Quivering, she wheeled around at them, showing the sorry state she was in after days of hiding it; her face was stained with tears, her under-eyes were dark as if she had not slept for days, tears were evident in her eyes, but she wasn't giving it a chance to escape. She stared at them with red eyes, and they stared back at her. But before they could even question or comfort her, she fell to her knees on the floor, hiding her face in her hands.
Mrs. Weasley immediately went to her side, but Lucia remained in that position. She wanted to sob, she wanted to wail — but even if she yearned for it, it didn't heed her pleas.
She was left dissastified.
"I-I can't remember..."
"What? What can't you remember?" Mr. Weasley asked, and Mrs. Weasley shot him a warning glare.
"Arthur stop it,"
"Lucia, if you have anything to share, you have to tell us,"
"Arthur —"
It was then her final signs of sanity snapped.
"CAN'T YOU HEAR ME? I CAN'T REMEMBER!"
"The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming."
It was like the world stop momentarily before slowly yet surely, everything went into utter chaos.
The once merriness that radiated from the marquee diminished and everything around became fuzzy and slow. Lucia looked around to Ron with her eyes widened in fear that they shared simultaneously before both instantaneously drew their wands out, along with Fred and George — Erin seemed to react slower, but with fear laced her eyes as she finally comprehended what the situation meant. Regardless, she followed the other's actions. Lee had no idea what was going on, and he wasn't the only one that felt that way.
The crowd were only just realising the abnormality that had occurred; heads were still turning toward the silver cat as it vanished into nothingness. Silence and suspense outward in cold ripples throughout the marquee from the place where the Patronus had landed prior. Then somebody screamed.
At that, it was like the trigger of a pandemonium.
Guest began sprinting in all directions; many were Disapparating; the protective enchantment that held the Burrow with tight security had been broken.
"Um, hello? What's going on?!" Lee struggled to yell through the screams, but his friends heard him well enough to react swiftly as all three; Fred, George, and Erin took hold of Lee at once, further puzzling him.
"You've got to escape, mate," said George seriously for once.
"What — ?"
"Erin, you go too. Take Lee and yourself out of here and to somewhere safe, we'll send you a Patronus when everything's over." Fred urged. Erin furrowed her eyes and protest her fiance in a frenzy.
"Are you mad?! I'm not leaving you both here alone!"
"We won't be alone!" said George. "You have to go!"
Erin's chest heaved up and down heavily, "Why —"
Fred seized her hand, forcing her to look at him; Erin immediately faltered when he saw the look that he held for her. "Because we don't have insane relatives that would want to kill us the moment they set eyes on us." He said firmly, causing her to divert her eyes passively. "Just please, Eri, take Lee and go," he pleaded.
"But..."
"GO!" The twins yelled.
"B-But — ugh! Fine!" she looked at the twins with her eyes furrowed in worry, as she seized Lee's arm. "You two better be alive when I come back!"
They watched as Erin pulled Lee away, disappearing into the crowd of screaming wizards before they faintly saw them Disapparating with a crack through the chaos.
"W-We've got to find Harry and Hermione, Ron... We have to find them before they do!" Lucia's grip around Ron's hands tightened in fear at the thought of them being caught before they got to them. Between the four of them, Harry and Hermione were the ones that needed protection, for not only was Hermione a muggle-born, but Harry was, well, Harry...
"You don't need to tell me twice," stated Ron shakily, but he didn't let his guard down.
Lucia and Ron soon found themselves thrown willingly into the crowd as well, immediately getting separated from Fred and George, who was met by hooded figures at once. They wanted to help, but their priority was to find Harry and Hermione as they clutched each other's hand tightly, not wanting to be separated.
"Where are they?" said Lucia, half-sobbing, searching through the crowd.
"Hermione!" Ron yelled through the screams, "Hermione!"
Their path toward Harry and Hermione were interrupted as cloaked and masked figures appearing in the crowd. Not far, she saw Lupin and Tonks, their wands raised, and heard both shouts, "Protego!", a cry that was echoed on all sides —
"Ron!" they heard a cry, "Ron, where are you?"
They snapped their heads at the sound of the familiar call. Hermione. Ron didn't waste a second to push himself and Lucia further into the pandemonium that was created, making sure to not let go of her hand as a streak of light whizzed over their heads, whether a protective charm or something more sinister they did not have the time or attention to know.
"There —" But Lucia's words were cut off as a mask figure loomed over them, and she immediately seized her hand away from Ron, decking the figure before they could throw a curse at them. "Yeah, okay, let's hurry!"
Ron nodded and was about to pull her with him, when he felt her hand passing his as she fell onto the floor, immobile. A spell had hit her. He looked around around as four figures were slowly approaching them, and panic ensued him. They haven't even found Harry and Hermione yet —
"Ron!" Lucia exclaimed, garnering his attention. "Go and find them!"
"Wha — but you —"
"GO! I'll be fine!" she urged.
Ron's face screwed in confliction. "But —"
"Ron! Ron!"
"There's Hermione — he must be with her. Ron, just go and leave me!"
Ron looked in between the crowd, to Lucia, and then to the approaching Death Eaters.
"But if I go, I'll be leaving you. We'll be leaving you —"
"And that's okay!" said Lucia, immediately trying to reach out for her wand while her legs were nonusable. "They need you more!"
"But Harry needs you!" yelled Ron.
"But they need you more than they need me, Ron! Listen to me and just leave me because I'll be fine! Without you, they would just end up lost!" Ron gazed down at his friend — at the person who he was comfortable enough to even call sister as he shook his head, in denial. He didn't want to leave her to fend off the evil herself, but she wanted him to go. The eyes that she held for him said: I'll live.
"I can't move, I'll only be a burden while trying to find a safe place," Lucia said as she took out a small, empty glass vial and a pouch filled with Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder.
"You're not a burden —"
She threw the bomb, creating a large smokescreen to surround them and confuse the hooded figures, buying time for them. Lucia reached a hand out to Ron, who swiftly accepted the touch.
"What are you planning" frenzied Ron in confusion and incredulity at the sudden darkness and at the vial she was holding that he could faintly see.
Lucia swallowed the hard lump in her throat, "This," she showed the vial, an unreadable expression painted her face, "Is for this,"
She clutched her wand tightly over her temple, eyes still gazing at sky-blue eyes that she knows she was going to miss as she withdrew her wand slowly. A long, silver thread of memory came away, clinging onto the tip of her wand. Ron's eyes widened, realising what she was doing as longer and longer the memory stretched until it broke and swung, silvery bright, from the wand. A tear escaped the corner of her eyes as she did so.
She lowered it into the small vial where it coiled, then spread, swirling like gas. Trembling, she frantically laid the vial in the palm of his hand.
"I... I can't remember what we've been talking about or what the mission is all about," said Lucia shakily, staring into Ron's eyes. "I want you to keep my memory for me,"
"You don't even remember the —" Lucia clamped his mouth before he could say the word she felt as though she remembers, but at the same time felt foreign to it.
"Don't!" she yelled. "Don't tell me!"
"Lucia —"
"Go, Ron!" she yelled, wrapping her fingers around her wand as slowly the smokescreen began thinning. "I'll be fine, truly," Her voice was tender with a reassurance, but Ron was no fool as he caught the desolateness that laced her words.
Lucia frantically tried to push him away from the stance she was in. pushed him forward into the crowd. "GO!"
Ron was about to protest once more when the smokescreen diminished and the hooded figured immediately daunted on them. Lucia gave him a nod as he subconsciously threw himself into the crowd; Ron could merely watch as those bastards hit her with another jinx, making her properly immobilise before they trapped her around a rope. Ron closed his eyes, jaw tensing.
He felt ill to the stomach, her smile being the last thing he were to see before he felt a hand catching his arms and he began to turn on the spot; sight and sound were extinguished as darkness pressed in upon him with Lucia's memory still clutched in his hands.
Lucia could merely watch idly as Ron bumped into Hermione and Harry in the middle of the marquee, her heart sinking like the titanic as jinxes and hexes whizzed over her head; the sky blue eyes transitioned to a pair of emeralds that gave her eternal happiness and so much life in the past began to widen in realisation before they disappeared.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were gone.
They escaped.
She felt relief, but at the same time she felt empty.
Her ten once brightly-lit candles of her life now remained only seven, for three of the ardent fire was now quench.
They were gone.
She couldn't even comprehend as she was forced back up to her feet and the ropes that once entrapped her had disappeared, but arms still encased her, as if she was about to escape at any given moment. However, she didn't.
She didn't have the will to.
She hated how dependent she was of them. Why did she have to get herself so deep into this whole friendship rubbish? Look where it had led her now.
It felt as if summer was still there, lingering around mockingly, but it also felt as though it was gone along with the laughter that usually accompanied it. But then again, maybe that was just her since she had become a miserable sod after the wedding.
Wake up, shower, and drink water. That was the new daily routine for Lucia, albeit unhealthy. She knew it was unhealthy, but she couldn't fight back the urge to pursuit the lifestyle she was currently living in. Maybe it was her way of coping of the fact that her mind was in distress after she had forcefully ridden a memory, as well as the lost of the people she made memories with.
Lucia really did hate herself for what she had become since they left. This wasn't her, but she couldn't find the ardent that could keep her alive and well like the past.
Hermione... Ron... Harry... There was no way she could contact them. Even if she could, she would only risk their safety and she would do anything to keep them safe. That goes the same for Astoria... Neville... her mum... Hugo and Leon...
She would only out them in danger.
The only person she had now was Ginny, and even the redhead was coping in her own way as her family was in the brink of endangerment. Half of her family members were out and about without any way of contacting them without putting each other at risk. The Weasleys couldn't even send each other letters, for they would be intercepted by the Ministry. They couldn't even send a Patronus with the watchful eyes that were eyeing them like hawks just because they were the family that had been close to Harry for years.
As Lucia stared out toward the mockingly perfect sky, she ignored the bunch of Ministry men that were hiding away behind the long grass field around the house. Sometimes she couldn't help but feel a bit better, knowing just how ridiculous they looked with the idea of their hiding spots being the most ingenious places ever when in reality, even if she were to be downstairs, she could see them.
What a bunch of losers...
Just acknowledging them made her head dizzy, for she had never met such dumb bunch of adults ever. Oh well, she thought. Even if they were to sit there for years, watching them, nothing was going to change. The Order was careful to not come to the Burrow anymore and Mr. Weasley would just go to work like always... Mrs. Weasley would do chores... Ginny would play Quidditch on her own in the orchard... and Lucia? Lucia was going to be at the windowsill of Ron Weasley's room, which became her temporary bedroom since the wedding where Fleur and Bill had immediately escaped alive, gazing at the sky and sometimes stars.
With the limited things that she could do now, all Lucia could find any strength to do was to look up at the sky every day and night, thinking and hoping that they were staring at the same sky with her at any hour of the day, safe.
She was a mess. She knew that. But she was also paralysed to do anything else that could change herself from the state she was in, for everything around her would only remind her of the friends that had parted from her.
As wind blew through her hair, she felt Crookshanks brushing against her leg. It brought a small, yet faint and rare smile upon her blanched, without even a trace of blood flowing, lips. She hoisted the huge fluffball into her arms.
"You miss them, don't you?"
Crookshanks meowed, pressing his head into her hand, nuzzling.
Lucia leaned her head against Crookshanks, hugging the cat, sighing.
"Me too, love," she said. "Me too..."
༻❁༺
Harry digressed.
How long had it been since they arrived and took shelter in Grimmauld Place since the attack that happened during the wedding reception? Days? Weeks? Harry'd lost count, for it felt like slowly his spirits were being torn off him. He could just remember the haunting last vision he had before they Disapparated from there...
They left Lucia.
Being alone felt more comforting than being around as it would only remind him of their last moments together before they were ripped away, once again, from one another. The world really hated them together, and that was crystal clear as the skies above them.
He thought at first, it would be the best. She would probably be much safer not tailing him and under the safety and security of the Weasleys, but now that the days finally settled in him, he didn't felt all that good about it anymore.
Especially since they would most likely try and get answers out of her...
Realising that made him think of unfun scenarios... terrible ones that sometimes made it easily into his dreams of her that would swiftly and constantly turn into nightmares that he never asked for, causing him to wake up with a start.
"Are you ever going to tell him about it?" hissed Hermione under her breath, as she and Ron watched Harry from the other side of the room.
"He looks too serious here," mumbled Ron, playing around with the small vial that consisted of a shimmering, silvery wisp looking liquid. "I don't even know if she wants Harry to know..."
"Well maybe if you do tell him, it'll make him less worried about her," said Hermione, sighing. "I was fretting all around if they were going to torture her because she had answers until you told me about her handing you her memories about the Horcruxes and our plans!"
"But..."
"Just go on!" Hermione pushed him forward, immediately snapping Harry out of his tired daze. He looked up, quirking a brow as Ron and Hermione slowly shuffled to him.
"Harry, we have something to tell you," said Hermione nervously from behind Ron. "Well, Ron has something to tell you, anyway,"
"Traitor," seethed Ron, and Hermione scowled.
"What?" Harry asked them bleakly, leaning forward.
Nervously as they looked at one another, Ron and Hermione swallowed the lump in their throat.
"It's about Lucia,"