Her heart pounded against her chest as she studied herself in the mirror for the hundredth time. Tonight had to go perfectly. There wasn't any room for error, no time to get side tracked, and no one could be allowed to get in her way. If it all went the way she hoped at the party, the two of them would leave together like nothing had ever happened and could finally move on.
No...That's a lie. We can't just pretend it didn't happen.
She wanted to though. She wanted so badly to pretend that the nightmare was just that...a bad dream. She wasn't angry at him anymore, if anything she just missed him terribly. Maybe once they had a chance to talk it would all be better...she could hope at least.
"Are you almost done?" Valerie called out from downstairs.
Taking one last deep breath Vanessa tried to steady herself. The all too familiar feeling of dead and excitement flooded her body and mind, sending small bursts of electric shocks down to the tips of her fingers. The anxiety was almost crippling at this point. Still, she needed to go if she wanted to get there in time.
She smiled weakly as she looked down at her outfit. She wasn't sure why, maybe for the sake of hoping he'll recognise her, but it had been the very same outfit she had worn the day they met. The leather pants now felt tighter around her legs, almost as if someone had a death grip on her. Every sense had become extremely sensitive today. Clothes felt too uncomfortable, small sounds sounded like she was right in front of a speaker turned up at full volume, and her head throbbed with an annoying ache that refused to leave her alone.
"Ness!" Valerie called again. "We need to go!"
"Coming!" she yelled back.
It's now or never...
Things seemed to move slowly as she approached the bedroom door, the anticipation growing deep inside her as she turned the handle. Her breathing became heavy, shaky, as she made her way down the stairs, every thought in her mind clashing together as she locked eyes with Valerie. She was thankful that her sister was going with her, that they had managed to rebuild their bond after so much tension had strained it.
"I'm ready," she managed to breathe out.
Taking her hand and giving it a light squeeze, Valerie nodded. "Let's go get your boyfriend back."
~
The sound of the music blasted through the speakers, shaking the floors and walls as the crowd cheered. Some had started a pit in the center of the floor, pushing and shoving each other while some stood by and watched. A fair number of fights had already broken out over someone accidentally pushing into someone else or just a spilled drink.
Dead smiled to himself as he watched from behind the curtain, enjoying the show itself as well as the chaos around him. They were next once Darkthrone finished. For once, they were the headliners. All the attention was going to be on them for a change instead of just being an opening act. To him, it almost didn't seem real. All of it had become more than any of them had imagined. The fame was great, the shows were brutal as always, sometimes even more so depending on how far he felt like taking things. Tonight was going to be the best show they ever had.
His smile faltered for a moment as he felt his stomach start to ache. Not so much a painful ache, but an annoying almost flip.
Maybe just nerves before the show.
No, that didn't seem likely. Of all the shows they had ever done he hadn't ever felt nervous before them. Putting on the show was the one thing he knew he loved. The corpse paint freed him for just a little while, almost like an alter-ego. He didn't have to be Pelle, he was just Dead. And that was how he liked it. Turning off any and all emotions just to give in to the brutality of the show, occasionally cutting himself so deep that even physical pain was numbed and it just felt...intoxicating. To be so wrapped up in it that he didn't remember why he was hurting inside.
No one would ever be able to understand this feeling.
"This is gonna be sick," Euronymous commented from beside him.
Dead smirked. "It always is."
~
"I don't see how you listen to this!" Valerie yelled over the sound of the music.
Vanessa couldn't help but laugh. "Because it's actually good!"
The stage went dark and the music they had been playing between the artists had stopped. Her heart leapt into her throat as she watched a deep fog roll in onto the stage.
"They're about to come on," she said.
Valerie took hold of her hand and squeezed hard. "We're almost there, don't worry."
She had hardly heard her over the voice that broke the silence.
"When it's cold!"
It's him...
"And when it's dark!"
Her heart nearly stopped as a flash from the stage, almost like lightning, brought his face into view for the first time.
"The freezing moon can obsess you!"
Her heart pounded along to the song, waves of anxiety and excitement going through her as she fought the urge to run towards the stage. Even if she wanted to, there was no way she would get him to notice her, especially if she happened to get pushed into one of the pits.
"Is that him?" Valerie yelled.
She could only nod, her eyes watering as she watched him closely. It was hard to tell with the paint that covered his face, but he still was just as beautiful as she remembered.
"Out from the dark, I remember it was here I died!" his screams rang out.
She remembered just how much she had loved this song, how much he loved to sing it around her knowing he was making her happy. All too soon, the song ended. For a moment the crowd stayed silent, not a disappointed silence, just one of awe.
"Are you dead?" he asked. "Huh?"
Finally the cheers resumed and they continued on with the show. She tried her best to actually enjoy the show, to focus on the present, but all she could focus on was him. She watched almost in sadness as he cut into himself at one point, thankfully not too badly, but still. She wanted to be angry at him for doing it at all, but she couldn't exactly blame him when he had been hurting all these years. She couldn't find a reason to be mad at him at all.
The set was short, and soon the stage went dark again before lighting up the room. It was time to go and find him.
"Ready?" she asked Valerie, her ears still ringing from the noise.
Valerie nodded. "Been ready to leave since we got here."
She half smiled at the joke, trying to keep herself from being sick as they rushed to the exit. The venue was large, it wasn't a surprise that they had their party here instead of someplace else. The crowd was huge, making it hard to make their way to the front of the room without someone pushing against them or pushing them back. It wasn't long before she saw him walk through the doors with the other's close beside him.
"He's here!" She turned to Valerie.
Letting go of her hand, Valerie pushed her gently. "Then go. I'll be right behind you but you need to go."
Not needing to be told twice, Vanessa pushed her way through the crowd, not even caring if people gave her nasty looks. All that mattered was that she needed to get to him before he disappeared into the crowd or somewhere else. Her heart was pounding to the point where it almost hurt, her legs trying to keep her upright felt like jello. She was for sure going to feel terrible in the morning.
She could still see him, talking with a few people as he kept walking.
Taking a deep breath, she called out to him. "Pelle!"
Nothing.
She tried again louder than before, her throat almost burning. "Pelle!"
~
"Pelle!"
He stopped in his tracks, turning to face whoever had called him. His eyes grew wide, the cup he was holding slipping through his fingers onto the floor and spilling. Try as he might, Dead couldn't speak. His throat had become as dry as the desert, his heart pounding so hard against his chest he thought it would explode. There she was. Standing in front of him dressed in tight black leather with dark black makeup around her eyes. Her long mahogany hair falling around her shoulders. Pushing his way through the crowd he watched as she moved with him, trying to reach him with an outstretched arm.
His hand reached out when he was finally close enough and pulled her to him, her chest tightly pressed against his as his hand moved to hold her face.
Finally, he found his voice. "Please don't let this be another dream."
A small, tired smile appeared on her red lips. "I'm here."
His lips found hers, pressing himself almost harshly against her, holding so tightly she almost couldn't breathe. She could taste the sweat and white paint he wore as they kissed, leaving a strange taste in her mouth. It didn't matter. Finally they were together again. She knew people were watching, some probably annoyed with the attention being given to her instead of the fans like it normally would have been.
Let them watch. Let them be mad. Just don't let me lose him again.