'I jumped.'
I don't know when I stopped falling. But when I did, I was back in the cavern.
My body was wet and sticky, and the air was cold on my skin. I was breathing heavily: What the hell was going on? What had I done?
The mist seeped away, leaving two new headstones behind — two, of which, I didn't bother to look at.
I still had that terrible little girl in my mind — Vega. I didn't want to be like her, yet I was. There was no denying that I had changed, how could I be so naïve? I was a murderer.
"Maisy?" Ransom's hoarse voice broke me away from my thoughts. I remember what I did to him. I lied about this place. And before he could say anything else, I grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of the cavern. We left behind the bad dreams, as well as two new headstones that the mist had decided unworthy to live.
"Maisy, slow down!" Ransom ordered, but I had rushed up the muddy hole which had left him trailing me. I glanced down at his bloody hands than were right behind me and sighed.
"Just kill him already." A voice whispered in my ear, I jumped in fright and looked around. No one but Ransom and I were in here. But I had heard the voice before — it was so familiar.
"Go on then," Ransom said as he caught his breath. I could easily shove him down and send him flying to the center of the Earth. I caught myself with my hands reaching out to do so, but I tucked them behind my back — luckily he can't see me.
I forced myself to keep crawling up, ignoring any malicious thought that crossed my mind. It was funny how someone's life could be taken away in a matter of seconds. Just a quick slash across the throat would take the light from their eyes.
They'll never expect it. A soft voice said the same one that I heard earlier.
I shook my head and crawled out onto the ruins that were once a flower maze. I hauled Ransom up but then froze.
"Do you hear that?" Ransom asked,
"Hear what?" I lied. Stop lying Maisy! But I couldn't help myself, "There nothing to hear."
But a buzzing sound got louder and louder until several ladders fell from the sky as all the other tributes emerged.
"Please step onto the ladder and hold on tight. We're going on a field trip." The voice echoed through the arena. It was cold and emotionless, empty of any emotion.
"Go on, I dare you." Someone taunted.
"Shut up, Ransom!" I growled, but I remember someone else saying the same words.
"I didn't say anything," he argued, "Now what are these damn ladders they talked about." He stumbled around blindly — literally — until he crashed into it. I took hold of my own ladder and found myself frozen in place.
There would be no jumping to escape this, but once I reached the hovercraft — I tried.
I don't know if I ever made the jump. Because the world just went black and I could still hear that same haunting voice saying 'I dare you.'
**
I woke up with a pounding in my head, as well as foggy vision. The only thing was for certain was that the room was white with a mirror wall — no windows or anything.
As the throbbing in my body fades, I realise that I'm not the only person in the room. I sat up quickly and scrambled backwards.
"Dad?" I breathed, unsure of whether he was real or just another hallucination. The Capitol always liked to keep me in the dark — I would always question anything that happened to me, Games or no Games.
"That's me, May." He smiled. But I couldn't tell. What did my father look like?
His blonde hair was sleek and his eyes were a deep chocolate brown. His skin was slightly tanned and he wore a fitting black suit.
He wasn't my father. My father would never come to the Capitol.
"You're not my father," I hissed. He dropped my gaze.
"He isn't," a voice whispered, my hair fluttered despite there being no wind, "He's here to kill you — to make you weak." It spat.
"May, what have they done to you?" he asked softly, "What happened to my daughter?"
"I'm not you're daughter!" I shouted and he flinched.
For a moment, I remembered him. He pushed me on the swing and I would tell him to make me go higher as I giggled at the ticklish feeling in my tummy.
I shook the memory away.
"I'm a better person now; I'm stronger and better than before." I told the mutt.
"Maisy, it's not you. Don't you remember me?" his voice broke, "You always have to remember."
**
"Higher!" I squealed, and I felt his hands push me higher than ever before. The clouds got closer to me, before I swung back down.
"That's enough for today," he told me, and helped me off the swing.
"Please!" I whined, pulling him back to the swing.
"Maybe later," he smiled. And I smiled back.
"Race you to the house," I yelled and started running to our little cottage. Suddenly a huge heat wave knocked me to the ground and a loud explosion forced me to cover my ears. I watched as the roof of the house went up in flames and my home was destroyed. Dad ran to the flames screaming Mum's name, because she was in there. I called out for Dad, and he met my eyes and ran over to me. I asked him why he was crying, it was the only time I had seen him cry because he said that you always have to been strong. You always have to remember.
**
"Get away from me!" I yelled at him and lunged for him. He jumped out of the chair and I crashed into the wall.
I didn't like reliving my mother's death. It was like he could show me these things, or he was making me remember.
"May, I need you to come back. What would your mother say to you?"
Mum. I had her blonde hair, and her pale skin.
"Don't talk about my mother!" I growled.
"Tell me, May. What did they do to you in the arena? I was always watching for you, but some things we don't see. What happened after you went in that cavern?" he said in desperation.
A girl. Her dark ebony hair. Her pale skin. Vega, was what had happened.
"Nothing," I snarled.
"May, this isn't you. Where is the girl who wouldn't even hurt a fly?"
"Dead, just like you will be."
"May, just try remember me. I'm your father, for god's sake!" he begged. Tears began creeping down his cheeks and his eyes showed fear.
"You're not my father!" I yelled, "You hear me? I'm not your daughter!"
"Go on, kill him. I dare you." The voice whispered hauntingly.
This time, I jumped straight onto him. He stumbled back onto the mirror which cracked on impact. Shards scattered on the ground but I ignored them. I punched the man in the face, but he got my arm and restrained me.
"May, this isn't you!" he searched my eyes for something, for anything that resembled this 'daughter'.
I wanted to hug him and hit him at the same time. My mind was split in two.
"Destroy him," the voice taunted, "He is your weakness."
"You're not real," I whispered, "None of this is."
"May, I'm real. I'm always here for you."
"Then you're a liar." I twisted out of his grip, forgetting about the hurt in his eyes, and kicked him to the ground.
"You stupid mutt!" I yelled at him as he lay on the ground, "You think you can do better than that!" I directed that to the roof — to the Capitol. I kicked the mutt again. It was just another game that they played.
Suddenly a blinding pain struck my head and I tripped over the chair and fell. I turned around to find I was, in fact, alone.
Just as quickly as he had appeared, my father — or the mutt — had disappeared. I did another scan of the room, but only found my reflection.
My blonde hair was frizzy with snapped twigs and leaves scattered in it. The glass surrounded me like the headstones had in the cavern. My skin was dirty with blood, mud and ash. My eyes shimmered, as if they were the only thing living within me.
"You've ruined it now," the voice laughed, it echoed quietly and carried through the air like a whisper in the wind.
Vega was right — I ruined it with my father. I shouldn't have been questioning who he was when the real question was: who am I?
And what's the answer to that? Easy and simple: I was the one turning into a mutt.