River.
"Boy-girl," was what kids called them after they came out. "Boy-girl, why do you dress like that?" "Boy-girl, why do you sit in the back of the room?" "Boy-girl, nobody wants you here."
And it wasn't that River particularly hated the nickname, if you could even call it that. Sure, it wasn't endearing or friendly, but it also wasn't a lie. River often looked in the mirror and couldn't make out a specific boy or girl. They felt like something else entirely, the dash in the middle of the nickname. Something hovering beside boy and girl in an indecisive scribble. River wasn't like the kids at school. They weren't loud or happy or bubbly. They cowered in corners and actively avoided interaction. It was better this way, they thought.
It was a Thursday- the 3rd Thursday into sophomore year- and River could feel someone's eyes drilling into their back from the moment they stepped into school. They didn't dare turn around, though. River simply continued through the hallway and crashed into a chair when arriving at their classroom. Through the doorway came a boy, his hair spiked and red, his freckles persistent and messy. This was Arlo Lee, who talked loud and often. Today, his eyes were stuck to River's with something unreadable lingering behind them.
"Boy-girl," he said with a grin and approached their desk. "What is it today, hm? Do you have a dick or a pussy?"
River exhaled through their nose and looked elsewhere, fishing through their bag for something to distract them.
"Don't be shy! C'mon, answer the question."
"Go away, Arlo," they said, barely over a whisper. He leaned forward with a hand pressed to his ear and River repeated.
"Oh, please. I'm not leaving so soon! You haven't answered my question yet."
River stayed silent, but imagined standing up and gripping the back of Arlo's hair and shoving his forehead into the desk. They imagined watching as students around them screamed and Arlo's head leaked blood. After a moment, he spoke again.
"You know, I was talking to a couple guys on the team and they think you're super hot. I mean, on the days when you're a girl, that is. Would you think about fucking them? When you don't have a dick?"
"Arlo, please," they begged as eyes began to look towards the table. But, Arlo simply laughed an obnoxious laugh and shook his head.
"You're not allowed to just make up whatever you want to be and expect everyone to go along with it," he said. "If you want to be some boy-girl, then you should also get that some people are going to wanna beat the shit out of you." River gulped and Arlo smiled. "Like, I can't just wake up one morning and think, 'Today, I'm going to be an elf!' because that's not how the fucking world works."
"I'm not... I don't think-"
"Boy-girl, listen: all I want is for you to understand how sick you are," Arlo's smile dipped into an exaggerated frown. "I'm worried about you! I think you have some real mental disorders."
River was trembling, focusing on objects around the classroom to calm themself. They had never felt rage like this before. The bullying from other students was never this stubborn. They backed down after a few jokes. But here was Arlo: towering over them like a supervillain with a pearly, sick grin and determined eyes.
"Have you lost your voice, boy-girl?"
"I... I don't have mental disorders."
"Really? Because, you're stuck on this idea that you're some random gender. It's weird."
River shook their head to themself, wishing to erase time. They would erase ever coming out, erase letting themself think this was normal. With a swift wipe, they would become just like everyone else.
"Arlo, please leave me alone," they begged.
"Now how is that fair?" Arlo crossed his arms and River watched the door, silently pleading the teacher would walk through soon and Arlo would give up. "Whenever you decided you were a boy-girl thing, you made it everyone's problem. So, why would I leave you alone?"
"I just want you to go away. Please."
"No," he said flatly, and his smile twisted as they exhaled beneath him. "Not until you stand up and tell everyone whether you have a dick or a pussy today."
"What? No, no-"
"Okay. Suit yourself. I don't mind staying the entire period," Arlo shrugged before leaning in. "But, if you don't want me to beat the shit out of you, I'd suggest doing what I say."
River's entire body was shaking at this point when they realized they didn't have a choice. They stood on wobbly legs and inhaled, before looking at Arlo's stubborn smile. And the sight made them incredibly angry. He was smiling, he was getting what he wanted. And the next thing they knew, something heavy overtook them and their hand was running through the air as if controlled by a separate motor than the rest of their body. River's fist hit Arlo's cheek with a smack and he fell to the ground, cursing and breathing heavily. All eyes flicked up to River, who blinked into reality once more.
"The fuck are you staring at?" they asked, and the classroom began to whisper.
"You fucking freak," came from the boy, wounded on the floor.
"Yeah, I guess I am a freak," River replied with a chuckle, leaning to meet his eyes. "Go tell your friends you got punched by a boy-girl."
Daniel.
Daniel Flores had been in love with Olivia since the 7th grade. She was smart and funny and beautiful. She was his best friend, and his favorite person in the entire world. There weren't many things that Daniel was sure about in the world. His schoolwork was mediocre, his family life was shit, and he felt as if the earth could spin perfectly fine without him. Olivia, however, was a certainty in his life.
Another certainty: he could run. Aside from being with Olivia, the track was the one place he felt at home. The feeling of the ground slapping against his feet, the wind whipping past and stinging his cheeks. It completely was thrilling.
Daniel can't remember when the realization about Olivia came to him, but he knows that it was unshakable. He had decided, and once he decided something, tenacity enveloped him and his conclusion became definite. Daniel was going to tell Olivia that he was in love with her.
But, he decided that in the 7th grade, and he was here he was in his junior year of highschool wondering why he can't just open his mouth and say the words. This year, he determined. I'll tell her this year. And so, on Valentine's day, Daniel put on the nicest outfit he owned. He combed his hair, brushed it out, and combed it again. He bought flowers and chocolates and thought about getting a stuffed bear, but decided Olivia would feel more content with books. The nerves in his stomach were rampant but Daniel continued on, following the map on his phone. Olivia and Daniel had tracked each other's locations for years now using some app. It was originally Olivia's idea because, after everything with her father, she found comfort in knowing where people were. Daniel didn't argue; He knew it would come in use sometime.
Olivia's icon blinked at a Chinese place nearby and Daniel walked the 3 miles it took to get there, his arms busy with flowers and chocolates and books. He knew that he loved Olivia, but doubts swarmed his mind What if she doesn't feel the same? What if you're ruining your friendship? What is she laughs in your face? What if she hates the gifts? What if she wants nothing to do with you? The walk was too long to be stuck alone with his thoughts. Daniel tried to count his steps, he tried to focus on street signs, but nothing could distract him until he imagined Olivia kissing him. She might feel the same. She might want to date him. The most perfect girl in the world might just love him back, and that was enough to battle any anxiety he had. Then, he landed at his destination.
The only thing separating Olivia Hansen and Daniel Flores was a street before the Chinese place. Daniel watched as Olivia stepped out of the doors and he quickly ducked behind a park bench. She hadn't noticed him, but did hold the door open for someone behind her. Cleo Roberts.
Daniel let out a groan. She's ruining my plan. How am I supposed to tell Olivia now? And he began to settle in on the idea that his love proclamation would have to hold until next year before Cleo pulled Olivia in and kissed her. Daniel stopped, still crouched behind a bench as his sight got blurry. The world around him began to fade into a slow waltz of color and shape and his hands reached desperately for his phone. He hit record on his phone while he watched in anger as the two kissed again. The certainty was gone, the person he loved dissipated before him. And now, as Cleo Roberts led Olivia away from the restaurant, he did the only other thing he knew how to do: he ran.
He abandoned his gifts and ran the 3 miles to his house. He ran through the front door and up the stairs. He ran into his bedroom and sat before his laptop. With heavy breath and a lump forming in his stomach, Daniel began the campaign ad that he knew would break Cleo and Olivia.