In the OR, time loses all meaning. In the midst of sutures and saving lives, the clock ceases to matter. 15 minutes. 15 hours. Inside the OR, the best surgeons make time fly. Outside the OR however, time takes pleasure in kicking our asses. For even the strongest of us, it seems to play tricks. Slowing down, hovering...until it freezes, leaving us stuck in a moment, unable to move in one direction or the other.
ALEX (through the door of the bathroom, to Izzie lying on the floor, unresponsive): Izzie. Izzie come on!
GEORGE: Okay, she's been in there all night. We have to do something.
ALEX: Yeah.
MEREDITH: Yeah.
CHRISTINA: Yeah.
Isabelle: Yeah
MEREDITH: Why are you all looking at me?
CHRISTINA: Well this is familiar territory to you.
MEREDITH: There is nothing familiar about this. Unfamiliar. Denny died. The man she loves died.
CHRISTINA: Yeah, but you're all dark and twisty inside.
MEREDITH: "Dark and twisty?"
CHRISTINA: The mother with the Altzheimers thing, and the father that you don't talk to.
ALEX: The tequila thing, and the inappropriate men thing...
GEORGE: You are dark and twisty inside Meredith, and now Izzie is dark and twisty inside.
MEREDITH: So now all a sudden I'm the president of people with crappy lives? Maybe Isabelle knows something with all her secrets.
I just shrug.
GEORGE: Seriously we have to do something. Someone has to go in there. (We see Izzie, still unresponsive and staring into space, still lying on the floor in her prom dress.)
George went in to talk to her, and after no luck a bit later I entered and sat on the floor across from her.
Isabelle: Izzy, I know there is nothing I can say that will make what you are feeling disappear but i can try to help. Denny was a good guy, he loved you, cared for you, and more so I feel like he would not want you to be like... this. Though we understand you are going through the hardest patch of this so we are here for you. if you need to scream, then scream. Want o throw and break things let us know. Need to shove your face full of food, what type?. Need a shoulder to cry on, then we are here. Just don't lose yourself, Izzy, we all love you out there.
At that, I stand up and make my way downstairs to the kitchen by Meredith and Christina who were having a conversation. Upon me entering the room it becomes dead silent.
I laugh and grab a glass of water," Dont stop on my account."
Meredith just turns around and starts cleaning dishes, and I raise an eyebrow at her.
I look at Christina who just shrugs her shoulders and then makes some sandwiches.
I scrunch my eyebrows together and say," Okay whats going on?"
Meredith looks at me and sighs," Isabelle, your my friend and I really never meant to hurt you nor anyone else."
I look concerned," Mer, your good, what happened?"
She takes a deep breath," Last night, at prom. Derek followed me into an exa room, and he was just saying all the right things, and then he kissed me and it felt so good. Next thing know we are having sex, and then to find out Denny died after that. But I slept with Derek last night Isabelle, I am so sorry."
I feel my jaw fall open and a look of exasperation is plastered upon my shock ridden face.
Christina says," isabelle, say something before flies get in."
I look at Meredith,"He kissed you first? ( She nods) Damn it Derek!"
I put my glass down and start to walk around the house. Meredith follows after me.
"Isabelle,I am so sorry please I never meant to hurt you. Finn was such a good guy, and I just had to screw that up. I didn't even realize how strong my feeling still were for derek." Meredith says.
I slip a swearshirt over my head, and start to grab my running shoes while Meredith continues to follow me.
Meredith," isabelle please say something."
I stop doing what I was doing for a second and look at her, Christina in the hallway behind her.
I sigh," Meredith I love you, and I am not mad at you as you really did nothing wrong. From the beginning of this all you were a victim. Unaware of the fact he was married, then blamed when you knew. He was not always the best behaved after the fact either, and neither was Addi. He had obligations to a wife, you didn't. I really should be mad at derek... though...I can because he is my brother. But Addy is my sister... and you.. Mer... your my friend. I love all of you. So now I am in a predicament where I don't know what to think. So I am currently angry at myself for not being angry at you or Derek, so I am gonna run."
Christina makes a face," Eww, where?"
I tie my shoes and stand up saying," ANywhere..."
I walk out of the house closing the door behind me, and begin running.
As I get my momentum memories hit me like a flood. Though one stands out to me the most.
I was 10 years of old, and spending Christmas in New York.
I was staying at this gorgeous hotel with my grandparents, and I was ecstatic as this was the night before Addi and Dereks wedding.
I finally am finished getting ready, and walk down to the lobby with my grandma, where Addi said she was gonna pick me up.
When I see Addi, I start to jump up and down, just bubbling from excitement to the point that my grandmother scolds me.
Addi chuckles," Hey girl, you ready?"
I nod excitedly, and she guided me to the taxi, as I wave at my grandparents.
We arrive a grand building where the aroma was delicious, and upon entering Addi guides me to a long table with the rest of the wedding party.
We sit down, and the chatter and laughter fills my ears. My nerves are high as I don't know most of these people, but Addi was introducing me.
I met Sam, and Naomi; Addi and Dereks Friends. I also met Amelia, she was Dereks youngest sister and a bridesmaid in the wedding. I was a flower girl.
Towards the end of the eventful night, Derek and Addi said goodbye to everyone as they all left, before turning to me to bring me back to the hotel.
I walked in the middle of them, humming.
"so, you both love me right?" I ask them.
Addi chuckles, and Derek says," Of course."
"And you guys won't leave each other like my mom and dad," I ask again.
Addi smiles," Never."
I giggle," never ever..."
Derek," Never ever, and ever."
"I am gonna hold you to that," I say with a smile.
Derek, "Oh I hope you do."
Honk!! I snap out of my daydream, realizing I had ran all the way into downtown, the traffic currently at a high, and me at a lowpoint.
I continue running soon the buildings are not in my peripheral vision, as it is replaced by suburb houses and beautiful trees. My legs are exhausted as I turn and enter a stone paved driveway and knock on the door.
Connor comes and opens the door, seeing me taking deep breaths, and opens the door wider.
He looks at me concerned as I enter, "What's up? Did you run here? That is a while away Isabelle..."
I take another deep breath," I needed to get out of the adulterous, fiance dieing, people crowding, heartbreaking house. I am crashing here..."
I walk past him and to their guest bathroom to take a shower, leaving a confused Connor in my wake.
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