"Dyl, don't." Luke is leaning down, whispering into my ear, arm wrapped around my waist tightly to keep me in place.
So he noticed too.
Maya's some feet away, dancing, laughing, having the time of her life, with some random guy. I don't recognize him as a townie, which makes him a fucking tourist. A here-for-the-summer, he-means-nothing-at-all guy.
My fists clenched so hard I think my nails might be breaking skin.
I knew she'd be here. I thought she'd be here with Jordan. With the brother she's lucky to still have. It wouldn't have made sense for her to be dancing with her brother, I know that.
But it makes no sense for her to be dancing with anyone who isn't Casey.
I know it's ridiculous, I know it...
"Dylan, look at me." But I don't, not as Luke whispers in my ear, trying to calm me down. I don't hear him at all as my eyes follow Maya, off the dance floor after she places a kiss to mystery guys cheek, and makes her way to the restroom. "Dylan, please."
"I need some air." I hate myself as I say it. I wish more than anything I could stay here, with Luke. Tell him I love him and dance until my feet hurt and kiss him till my lips are sore.
But my hands push off his chest, my feet march me not outside, to the fresh, ocean air. But to the restroom, after Maya.
I'm pretending to wash my hands when she exits her stall. The music and the stomping from the dance floor vibrate the walls, loud even in here.
"Oh!" A dainty hand flies to her chest as she startles. "Dylan! I didn't hear anyone else in here." She joins me at the sink beside mine.
I don't know why I followed her in here. I should leave. I grind my teeth together, saying nothing. There's nothing to say.
It's just wrong. Seeing her with someone else. It feels wrong. I glare at the drain in the sink, willing myself to leave. Leave it alone.
Or she could leave.
She doesn't. "The bash turned out great Dyl, you and Brynn did a really great job. Probably the most fun I've had at a Summer Bash in maybe ever."
My fingers fist at the nickname. My nails bite into my palms as I register that ever includes Bashes spent with Casey. Dancing with this guy is better than Bashes with Casey?
Calm down, Dylan. Inhale, exhale. Let it go. Go find Luke. I almost do. I'm so close to pivoting and exiting the restroom without telling Maya a damn thing about herself. I really, really, almost do.
But she doesn't know when to stop. She applies a layer of lipgloss, popping her pink lips in the mirror once.
"I'm sure Casey would have loved it."
I'm shaking. How dare she?
"I'm glad you and your date are enjoying yourselves." My tone catches her attention and her eyes widen at my glare. I continue, voice dripping with disgust. "Did you meet him at your celebration of life bonfire?"
Her face falls, as if she was expecting a different reaction. How could she have been?
"You know what? Whatever Dylan." She rolls her eyes, turning back to the mirror to primp at her hair. It's a show, I can see her fingers tremble a little. She never did like being called out. She continues anyways. "We try to be nice but you just... You just can't -" Her mouth snaps shut suddenly.
Her eyes meet mine in the mirror, that pitying look on her face again.
I can't fucking take it.
"Say it."
She narrows her eyes at me, shaking her head slightly.
"Say it." I dare her to tell me to just get over it. "Don't be a coward now, Maya."
It feels good to be saying this. To be doing this now.
"Move on." She says instead, like it's any better. Maya turns to face me, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're mad at the rest of us because we have. It's been years, Dylan. And it was tragic, we know that..." I want to hit her. "But it's like you want us all to sit around and be sad about it forever."
I step forward, my anger pulling all the strings. I tell her exactly what I've wanted to ever since I heard the truth. "No Maya, not everyone. But you?" I inch closer, getting right in her face as she backs up, her palms touching the bathroom wall behind her, "You deserve to be sad, you deserve to feel bad for what you did. You deserve to be miserable. You were my best friend, Casey's girl friend - he loved you-"
The words just keep coming but now, Maya is speaking at the same time, our voices getting louder and louder, competing to be heard.
"For Christ's sakes, Dylan, it was years ago!"
"And you were selfish!"
"I was barely seventeen, I was a kid-"
I'm shouting in her face now, "And cruel-"
"I was confused-" Her eyes start to water.
"You were a liar and a whore and a backstabbing bitch!"
It all just pours out of me.
"Stop it!" She finally screams, shoving her hands between us. "Enough, I don't have to listen to this!"
She tries to move around me but I step in front of her. I won't let her get off so easy for what she's done. For everything she ruined.
"And you're too much of a coward to admit it, to apologize for -"
"You want an apology?" She stops dead in her tracks, glaring at me as tears stain her freckled cheeks. "Fine, I'm sorry Dylan." Her tone is too kind to be genuine, before it sours completely, mocking me. "I'm so, so sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but you can stop being so pissed off at everyone all the time. Everything that happened to Casey that night was his own damn fault."
She moves again, trying to step around me and leave the bathroom.
There isn't a thought in my brain as my body reacts, my leg sticking out to trip her as my hands reach for her dainty shoulders and shove her to the floor. A shocked, fearful gasp puffs out of her as she turns over so she's lying on her back. Before she can get up, I land on top of her, shoving her shoulders into the tiled floor.
"Don't talk about him!" I scream just as her hands claw at my wrists, eyes wide on my face. "You don't deserve to talk about him, you filthy-"
She grips my hair, tugging hard and then my fingers are tangled in hers, too, as we wrestle on the floor, angry huffs and yelps echoing against the stall doors.
"Call me whatever you want but at least I'm not a fucking idiot." Her voice cracks from the effort she's exerting, "Unlike you. It must run in the family because between you and Casey-"
"Don't fucking talk about him!" I roar, struggling to get atop her again. "He. Was. Not. An. Idiot!" I grunt as I struggle against her swinging arms, pinning them down over her head. As I cock my hand back, ready to punch that bitchy, pitying expression right off her face, Maya goes limp, seeming to give in.
"Of course he was," She spits, hateful eyes glaring back up at me. "Only an idiot would get behind the wheel of a car that drunk."
................ mic drop