{{This is long, but I would rather post it as one chapter! Enjoy <3 }}
Sirius struggles to hold onto Gwen's hands, palms slick with sweat and tears wiped away furiously as they sprint through the street. A Muggle shouts a curse when Gwen nearly knocks him over, but they just keep moving. They have to keep moving. If they stop, Sirius is afraid he won't be able to move ever again.
Dead.
James and Lily Potter were dead. Harry would not know his parents as he should. Dead. And Sirius, beneath the rage and crushing anguish, feels the intolerable chill of guilt. His stomach churns with the withheld emotions, mouth watering with the threat of spilling his guts in all senses of the words.
Suddenly, as if she knows, the veela stops and yanks him into the shadows of a tall building, whirling around and facing him with wide eyes. Sirius feels his knees shaking, his palms sweating. Gwen holds his hand even as he leans forward and spews every feeling and emotion he's ever been capable of holding in his body. Gasping sobs wrack his body, a cough leaving him as Gwen squeezes his hand. Steady. She was steady, calm despite the panic cooling her eyes. Blue. He greedily looks up to see blue, whispering painfully, "It's all my fault."
"Sirius," She's never sounded so grave, so firm. She lets go of his hand and wraps her arms around him in a searing hug, one that he's certain he'll feel long after she lets go. He stares at the tears that jewel her hair, torn between finding it heartbreakingly beautiful and praying that he would stop crying. She squeezes tighter, insists loudly, "This is not your fault. It is not your fault."
"I killed them. Gwen, I-I don't understand."
She leans her head back, whispering furiously, "Do not say that again." Sirius winces slightly at the fire in her gaze, nodding solemnly. Gwen swallows audibly, "Do not say that, Sirius. Voldemort killed them—"
They both pause at the mention of the dark wizard, forgetting the taboo. Forgetting that there was a thing horrible and dark on this earth that would do something as savage as tearing Lily and James away from them. But then Gwen's expression twists to grim relief, "He's gone. Harry...somehow, he's gone." She reaches up and cups his face, palms warm. Sirius steels himself in that moment, strength surging from her touch and curling around his heart to solidify the dark feelings that were beginning to replace sorrow. Revenge. It must be heritable, the dark desire to kill. It was the only thing Sirius felt now, the thing that steadied his legs and cooled his palms. Voldemort was gone. Peter wasn't. And Sirius was going to fix that. He was going to fix this.
He nods once, rasping, "Let's go, Inferi. It's just him."
Gwen blinks, searching his face for something. Anything. The stony mask that greets her cracks the remaining piece of her heart. She wasn't sure what life would look like after this. She only knew that she wanted it, whatever it looked like. She wanted life, feared life in all its power to destroy the tattered remains of her resolve. They start running again, thundering down the streets of muggle London. Sirius is silent behind her, letting her guide, letting her think.
The last she'd seen Peter he'd been excited to go out on his own, he had been positively chuffed about the potential of these streets. He told her of the candy shop, but her memory fails her when she tries to dig deeper. A name. She needed a name, a landmark. Something. She lets out a noise of frustration, stopping at a cross walk and peering down the streets. For a Tuesday afternoon, the streets were bustling with life. Cars blow past fast enough to kick wind up around her and Sirius, both of them searching for anything that would give Peter away. Her eyes catch a street sign just as a bus blows by, the words disappearing and reappearing in the blink of an eye. And it hits her, what she'd been looking for, why Peter had blushed when he'd told her the area where the candy shop was. He'd asked her not to tell the boys, that they would make fun of him being drawn to such a name.
Ratcliff.
Gwen blinks and surges through the street, wincing when Sirius shouts and loud honking sound burns her ears. His hand finds her back, and they hurry past the angered muggles, Gwen's heart racing. Ratcliff. Peter had been embarrassed. He had been excited. And Gwen had simply told him that she liked the name too, completely disregarding his nerves over her sharing the information. If she had time, if she were brave enough to confront the things she had missed, she would insist that Sirius use legilimency to see the memory. To confirm it. But there wasn't time, and she wasn't brave. Not brave enough.
Sirius grunts when a rushing muggle pushes between them, splitting them on the sidewalk. She stands on her toes to find his grey eyes, catching a glimpse of him before seeing exactly what she was looking for. There, scurrying down the sidewalk and into the street, was Peter.
She takes off, Sirius calling her name over the heads of muggles and demanding that she wait, but she can't. She sprints through the street, shoving people out of her way unapologetically. She cups her hands around her mouth and says loudly, calmly, "Peter!"
The boy that turns a few meters away is not the boy she knew at Hogwarts. That boy blushed when she looked at him for too long, laughed when Sirius and James made fools of themselves, bought treats for all of his friends to share when Remus would recover from a full moon. That boy is gone, lost somewhere along the way. The Peter that faces her now has watering eyes, dull hair, and a shrinking stature that speaks to his gluttony for evil instead of loyalty to his friends.
She blinks a few times, her feet seemingly cemented to the ground. She swallows and repeats, "Peter."
He shrivels before her eyes, cowering in the crowded street and stammering, "W-what--Ninnie, I--" He cuts himself off, asking nervously, "Where is Sirius?" The way his beady eyes grow round tells her that her fiancé is fast approaching from behind her, but she hurriedly holds out a hand, saying plainly, "Don't worry, Peter. Everything is going to be fine."
Peter quickly shakes his head, stumbling over his words and pulling anxiously at the sleeves of his coat, "I-It isn't safe out here, Ninnie! We need to go--Hurry and come with me--"
"You fucking traitor!" Sirius roars from a few feet behind Gwen, chest rising and falling rapidly when he finally comes up to her side. Gwen glances sideways at him, wincing when he shouts, "How dare you--"
"Sirius," Gwen warns quietly, her eyes flicking back to where Peter is slowly backing away. She grabs Sirius' elbow closest to her, his arm tight from the white knuckled grip on his wand. She follows the line of his hunched shoulders and sees that his wand is now grasped tightly in his left hand. A sharp pang resonates behind her eyes, the ache spreading to her jaw and teeth. Muggles are looking, shooting curious and bewildered glances towards them.
"It's okay," Gwen says calmly, her throat raw from the screams that threaten to vacate her soul and ravage the world. Something inside of her is aching, burning. Her mouth feels acrid, her palms tingly. She hadn't felt this way in sometime. She wasn't sure she'd ever felt this way. What was it? Rage? Grief? Pity?
She inhales sharply through her nose, keeping her fingers wrapped tightly around Sirius' elbow. His jaw was so tight she was afraid his lips would never part again. "Peter," She repeats, blinking away the odd sensation she was feeling. "Give me your wand."
The boy she'd adored at Hogwarts, the one she'd thought of as family. He stares at her as if he too doesn't recognize who he is anymore, an almost wistful mist guarding his eyes. For a moment they only stare, the three of them frozen in the middle of a muggle street. Her eyes shift sideways, voice still uncomfortably plain, "Perhaps we can get some sweets, Peter. You told me how good they are--"
"Enough!"
Sirius grows tighter next to her, strained and silent. She flinches at Peter's uncharacteristic roar, startled by him for what felt like the first time ever. His chest raises and falls rapidly, and she sees a chink in his armor. Guilt. Written across his face as plain as day, a scar as raw and fresh as her's had once been. Her hand shakes slightly, fingers reaching out. Sirius wants to kill him, she knows it even though he's said nothing of it. She knows. But Sirius was a Gryffindor, short-tempered and brave, but plagued by an unyielding sense of 'good.' She believed that Sirius wanted to kill Peter Pettigrew.
Just as she believed that she would be the one to do it.
She just needed him to reach out and grab her hand. Her fingers flex. He only needed to take her hand, and then it would be over. She would make sure it would be over. Peter falters, wand lowering slowly from where it is trained on Sirius. Progress. Just when she thinks she's making progress. Peter's misty eyes form tears as he shouts brokenly, "You betrayed them, Sirius!" Gwen feels her hand clench around empty air, her anxiety growing as muggles start to look there way. No, she wants to tell them. Run. This isn't safe. But her eyes stay locked on Peter even when Sirius shouts, "You miserable little--"
"I always knew you were a snake," Peter screams, the noise shrill and unforgiving. Gwen nearly clamps her hands over her ears. Muggles are looking. Muggles are looking and Peter is raising his wand. Peter is raising his wand, and pointing it at her. Her chest freezes, lungs shriveling at the lack of air. Peter, kind and caring and naive. He looks at her, his cheeks turning red from the force of his cries, "You were in on it weren't you, Gwen?! This whole time, you two have been trading secrets. For what?! For the lives of your friends?! Your godson--"
"Peter."
The street is growing busier, but the traitor freezes at the sound of her voice. She breathes, easy and slow. Her lips twist into a cruel smile as she whispers, "Do not finish that sentence."
Sirius looks down at Gwen and nearly shivers at the iciness of her glare. Gwen clears her throat, fingers stretching and feet slowly carrying her closer. Sirius stays put without her asking, his wand trained carefully on Peter as the veela approaches. They just needed to get out of here. They just needed to get away from the muggles, away from any potential danger. Gwen just needed Peter to trust her, she needed the Peter that had been so sweet and kind. That Peter would take her hand. She knows he's still in there.
"Did you know," Peter's lip quivers slightly, and Gwen has to hope that this is it. That he isn't running away because he's going to give in. When he does, she knows it will be over. His voice shakes, "The Sorting Hat took five minutes to sort me. Five. I was terrified sitting up there, terrified that the friends I had made on the train would all be in Gryffindor and I would be placed somewhere else."
Sirius takes a step forward at the mention of their first year, the first night that he and James and Remus had stayed up and dreamt out loud. The world was endless then, a galaxy of opportunities just waiting for them. It burns a hole through his heart, to hear the man responsible for his best friend's death talk about such things.
Peter's eyes stay on Gwen, wide and insecure. But Gwen is calm, serene even in the darkest of times. She even manages a faint smile. Sirius glances at the children walking up and down the street, softening his stance and mumbling, "Let's go, Wormtail. Let's get out of here. We can talk about this."
The traitor simply shakes his head, tears leaking from his eyes and coating his cheeks while Gwen and Sirius watch on anxiously. Gwen can feel Sirius' simmering age, can see him beginning to raise his wand out of the corner of her eye. She clears her throat, asking, "What house, Peter?" Her old friend's eyes narrow at the question. Gwen swallows down the bile threatening her lips, whispering, "What house were you so afraid of?"
The Sorting Hat had taken far less than five minutes for her, simply running through the traits of each house and scoffing when it realized that she matched few to none. She was never particularly brave, never ambitious or overly kind. She was far from a perfectionist. But when the hat had settled on blue, had seen the empty and observant mind of the Veela, she hadn't protested. She would have been find with any of them, even Slytherin.
Peter bristles at the mention of his fear, and it's the only hint that their conversation is over. That he will not reach for her hand ever again. Instead Gwen reaches back for Sirius, just as Peter screams their names as traitors once again, and points his wand at the busy street.
Sirius shouts a spell of his own, a shimmering light swarming her vision before Gwen sees a sunset of oranges and reds. The force of the explosion knocks them backwards, lives saved by Sirius' defensive spell but bodies smacked by rubble and despair.
Screams tear through the street as loud as her roaring heart, and she hurriedly rolls over to grab Sirius' arms. Dizziness causes her to slump against him, her mind aching and body humming like a plucked string of an instrument. Hear ears ring, eyes watering. Her lips part in a voiceless gasp when she sees Sirius staring at the index finger that lay bloody and mangled in the middle of the street next to a smoldering wand and a cavernous crater that exposes the sewer pipes that lay below the city. Gwen blinks, as if unsure that she's truly seeing a sodding finger. Peter. A fucking coward. A measly little finger left in his place next to red stained robes. The only Gryffindor part of Peter left was his blood.
"Do you think he crossed his fingers before he used that spell? Perhaps he wouldn't have died."
The absurdity of the moment, the absurdity of Gwen's nonchalant voice. It bubbles up in the form of maniacal laughter. She leans over and rests her forehead on Sirius' shoulder, listening to his laughs as an astonished giggle bubbles from her lips. Laughter in the face of death. They looked crazy, she knew they looked crazy. They felt it. Sirius wheezes slightly, shaking his head, "Fucking hell, Gwen. Reckon you didn't see that one coming."
She nods limply, too afraid to stop laughing. Too afraid to look at the dead bodies that line the streets. She knows that when she does, she will have to face the feeling that is consuming her body. Her skin prickles and her mind feels like it's full of buzzing bees. She hears a loud shout amongst the screams of muggles, her smile fading when she realizes that whatever it is that the person is yelling, it isn't good.
"We have to go," She mumbles, shakily climbing to her feet and grabbing Sirius' hands. He pushes off the ground with his knees, stumbling into her and holding on tight. His eyes take a few seconds to focus amongst the smoke. He reaches up to wipe sweat from his brow, blinking in confusion when his fingers come back red. Red. He swallows slowly and feels his head bobbing up and down, but when he and Gwen begin to move in an attempt to get away from the dead muggles and the last remains of Peter Pettigrew, they see cloaked figures storming in their direction. For a moment, Sirius thinks that they are death eaters coming to finish up the job Peter had made a mess of. But when Gwen whispers, "I didn't see this one coming," he realizes it's far worse.
He whirls around, arm wrapped around her tight and his free hand seeking his wand. Another group is blocking their exit, a swarm of people close enough that Sirius can finally see what it is Gwen is so scared of. There, on the robes of the wizards approaching them with grim faces, is a familiar badge that Sirius had seen whenever his father had forced him to visit the ministry. DMLE, the letters scrawled in a grotesque shade of blue across a pin made of silver. Law enforcement. Aurors.
Not coming for Peter.
Gwen reaches for her own wand, a gasp flying from her lips when it slips free from her grasp and into the hand of a rather smug looking wizard with a different badge, one that was held by the Department of Magical Accidents.
"Sirius Black," The man speaks loudly as aurors step closer, eyeing Sirius' tight grip on his wand, "You need to come with us--"
"Not bloody likely," Sirius interrupts, brows furrowed in frustration. Gwen shakes her head to rid herself of the swarming bee sensation. She felt sick, tired. So tired. Her palms burn with the urge to release her emotions, magic drowning her and pulling her deeper into despair. Bodies. There were bodies lining the streets. And when she looked at them, she could only see a boy with glasses and a girl with red hair. She hardly hears Sirius arguing with the wizard, barely sees the Auror's closing in around them. Panic strikes her when she hears her name, hears her name and the words 'conspiring.' 'beast'. 'creature.'
She hadn't seen this one coming. They thought it was Sirius. They were saying James and Lily's names, they were saying Peter's name, they were counting the bodies laying next to the cracked and upturned street while muggles continued to scream and scream. She isn't sure who cast the first spell, who targets who. All she knows is that Sirius is firing curses, and her throat aches from her screaming at him to stop. It would make it worse. Don't make it worse. And then she's ripped away from him, hands grabbing onto her arms and pulling her aggressively away from where Sirius is dueling that horrid man.
She lets out a shout of warning when Sirius realizes that she's no longer by his side, his focus broken long enough for an auror to shoot a spell at him that sends him to his knees.
"STOP!" She isn't sure she'd ever screamed before, that she'd ever cried like this. Sirius is collapsed on the ground and she fights and struggles to free herself from the aurors. This wasn't her. She didn't panic, she didn't scream. She was an observer, a listener. Calm. She was calm in the face of danger, even in the face of death. But the sight of aurors descending upon her fiancé causes that buzzing feeling to spread from her head to her chest and down the length of her arms.
"Stop it!" She cries angrily, kicking and scratching at the arms of the wizard holding her, "Stop it! He's innocent! Leave him alone!"
Sirius starts shouting, his voice strained with pain as whatever spell they've casted on him forces his muscles to grow stiff and weak at the same time. They're hurting him, dragging him backwards down the street. Away from her. They're taking him away from her. The buzzing turns to a searing pain, her hands numb and eyes blurred by tears from a lifetime of pain. Tears for her mother, for Gideon and Fabian, for Marlene, for Dorcas. Tears for Lily and James. A lifetime of tears. A lifetime of pain all in the span of a few minutes.
The pain grows tenfold. She screams louder, claws at the men in robes holding her arms. They're faceless to her, their threats silent to her ringing ears. Her knees buckle and a voiceless cry parts her lips in agony as the fire in her spine threatens to burn through her skin. She feels like she's being torn in half, her heart and her body pulled and pushed as she watches Sirius get further and further away. And then there's nothing, just a pressure spreading outward from her shoulder blades and something wet dripping down her back. Something that smears red across the robes of the aurors.
"Gwen!" Sirius shouts in anguish, the spell wrapping him tighter and tighter the more he fights. His body aches, his heart crumbles. He watches, restrained by a swarm of aurors and the smug looking man as his love screams. "GWEN!" He screams and screams, begging and pleading for them to let her go, to not hurt her. His struggles stop as the aurors holding him suddenly pause, and collectively they stare as the Veela of Hogwarts succumbs to the weight of death's presence and falls to her knees. A horrible ripping sound reaches Sirius' ears, the screams from his chest momentarily frozen on the tip of his tongue.
The aurors holding her howl in pain, releasing the being as the fingers clawing at their arms seem to grow more narrow and sharp. Collective cries of horror join the screams as Gwenyth Whitlock, beautiful and serene, changes before their very eyes.
"Look!" One of them shouts. Sirius isn't sure which one, isn't sure if the voice is his or someone else's. Someone needed to look. Someone needed to witness what it was that was unfolding before their eyes. Wings.
Wings.
Sirius struggles for air when he sees grey feathers unfurl and expand from her back, skin scaly and red around the sprouting magic. His voice cracks as he screams for her, screams at the aurors pointing their wands at the being he loves, "Don't! Don't hurt her! Let me go, let me get to--"
A shriek pierces the momentary wall of silence, shattering it and leaving nothing in its wake. Gwen's hair moves in the windless air. Like it did when she floated on the surface of the ocean holding his hand. Her skin looks dull instead of sun kissed, fingertips tinged an ashy grey. Her weeping eyes are what scare him the most, not her appearance. Her eyes. Disgustingly beautiful, the blue he sees in his dreams, are now a foggy shade of white. And despite it all, despite the legends, she is still hauntingly alluring.
Maybe it's his voice or her name or some combination of the two. Aurors are suddenly flying, shaken free from the tormented Veela as she stumbles to her feet. Two of the wizards with wands pointed at Sirius start running, curses flying through the air towards his Gwen.
His Gwen. They were going to hurt his Gwen.
"STOP!" Sirius shouts, trying to wrestle free and run towards his love. Fire erupts around them, spouting blindly from Gwen's extended hands. Her eyes are light, so light that Sirius can't see whether or not she's even looking at what she's doing. Maybe she doesn't know. Maybe she can't know. More curses, more aurors clambering towards her as her wings stretch and the bones of her face begin to jut out, her cheeks sharp and chin pointy. More curses. Curses that take Sirius back to the smoldering village where he'd watched Antonin Dolohov try to take her from him. These people were no better. They were worse, treating her like an animal, causing her pain instead of listening. Gwen would listen. Gwen always listened.
"LEAVE HER ALONE!" He begs, fighting against the aurors wildly when Gwen lets out a horrible cry of pain, one side of her spread wings curling inward and turning black. It burns like the buildings around them, turning slowly to ash in front of his eyes. An auror finally gets a hand on her, finally grabs onto her arm. Sirius tries to breath, tries to suck in air. Another scream leaves the Veela, a soul shattering wail that pierces the streets of muggle London and causes the wizards surrounding her to clamp their hands over their ears.
They have her, they have hands and wands and spells firing at her while she crumples to the ground, her remaining wing shriveling and smoldering like the embers that were just erupting from her hands. He can't see her anymore. Can't see her underneath the swarm of wizards and witches.
"It's gone," The man with the different badge sneers, and Sirius loses his last thread of sanity. Gone. Gone. He screams, he fights, he gnashes his teeth like a feral dog and swears vengeance. He can only watch as the steps between him and Gwenyth Whitlock grow greater and greater until an unfordable ocean of misery lays between them.
He begs to be killed.
He pleads to be free, to see her again. To hold her and cradle her head so that her eyes will open once again and grace him with blue. He screams to be close so that he can look down at her.
And if they let him, if they would just let him go to her, he's certain that when he has his Gwenyth in his arms, she will only say simply, dreamily, finally,
"There you are."
{{Thank you all for joining me on this journey. Gwen has quickly become one of my favorite characters to write. Her story is far from over <3 Heavenly Waters (the sequel!!) will most definitely feature the reunion of a lifetime. I hope this end was as satisfying to read as it was to write. Ending this story is bitter sweet. I published the first chapter of this story March of 2021 after so many of you that read my James story wanted to read one about Sirius. This has been a labor of love and I constantly go back and forth on which is my favorite story!!! I couldn't have done it without all of you, so thank you. Some of you definitely guessed that our Gwen would perhaps be provoked to transform. In case some of you have questions--we will definitely see bits of the "trial" of Gwen in her memories. I hope you're all ready for this next adventure!!!!}}