• • •
I had never felt more out of control in my life.
I had never felt more terrified, more worried. I could fail at going pro for all I cared, as long as my girls were okay.
I should have told her how much I cared about her, how much I felt for her and I should've let them 3 damn words slip.
The 3 words that people are scared to hear, happy to say and want to feel.
Because I do.
Fuck, do I love her.
I love her. I love her. I love her.
And she needs to fucking hear me say it.
It's been 15 minutes since she was wheeled away from me. 15 minutes that I have been sat in this chair in the room she was in.
Ron is furious shouting down the phone at his wife who doesn't seem to give a shit. Quinn looks like he is going to be sick but I can see he is holding it together for me. And I am sat with my head in my hands just waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Do people not know that communication is key? What the hell is happening? Is my baby okay? Is Evanna okay? Why are we left just to sit here?
"I'm not coming home." Ron spits down the phone before hanging up and shoving himself into a chair. "Why has no one come to see us?"
"Give them time to do their job, they will be okay. Evanna is the most stubborn person I know." Coach grumbles out reassuringly.
I shake my head feeling my throat close up, "The way her body was shaking, I have never seen anything like that before." My mind completely went into over drive seeing that, my heart practically stopped beating seeing her eyes roll back.
Quinn nods his head and Ron drags a hand tiredly down his face.
"Family of Evanna Hill?"
Hearing a voice we all shoot up out of our seats and nod frantically, "Is she okay? What about the baby?" I rush out stepping forward to the front.
The nurse smiles gently, "Evanna is okay they are just finishing up. We are going to have to monitor her to make sure she doesn't have any more seizures and that her blood pressure comes back down."
"Why did she have them in the first place?" Ron asks.
"Her preeclampsia had developed into eclampsia which is a more serious strain of it. This means that the high blood pressure starts to cause dysfunctions within the brain or organs and leads to seizures."
"What about my little girl? She's okay?" I ask worry filling my heart by the second. If Elle was going to be okay surely that meant the baby was too, right?
She once again smiles and asks, "First baby?"
I nod swallowing down the lump in my throat.
"Your baby girl is healthy. She has had some help with her breathing as Evanna having the seizure caused her heart rate to drop but at the moment it seems to be going back to a safer rate. She will be here in a moment so you can meet her."
With that she leaves and I finally feel like I can relax, thank god. Ron brings me in for a hug as we both breathe out our sighs of relief. "She's okay." He mumbles and I nod my head feeling so grateful.
Pulling apart I am quickly pulled into Quinn's huge arms as they crush my head. "Congratulations son, your a dad." He pats my back and I feel my eyes stating to water.
"Thank you." I whisper into him, squeezing him for a moment before letting go all together.
"I don't know what to do. Am I supposed to do something?" I shake my heads feeling nervous. Why a I nervous? She is my daughter, mine, a little person me and Evanna made.
"Calm down, boy." Coach chuckles shaking his head as he goes to is back down.
Ron grins as his eyes light up, "You will know when you see her. That first time she is placed in your arms," He shakes his head, "You will never forget it."
I smile knowing that he adores Elle, at least we both have one good parent each. Plus Coach has really stepped up for both of us and I couldn't appreciate his support more if I wanted to.
Just then a nurse enters the room with something bundled up in her arms and my breath hitches. I feel like I want to cry. She smiles gently holding her arms out to me as she passes me over my daughter. My little girl.
Holding her in my arms I take in the feeling of her warm body before inhaling a deep breath to prepare me. Then I look at her and I swear I have never looked at something so perfect. She is so small, so cute and looks nothing like Elle or me but that's okay I'm sure she will grow into it. I can see she has Elle's nose though and I can only prey she has her eyes as well. A mini Elle is all I could wish for and now she is here.
She's wrapped in some plain white blankets, her face scrunched up with her eyes tightly shut as she makes small whimpers. She is covered in some type of gunk stuff but it is not as much as you are told to expect. She feels light like I could forget she is in my arms but at the same time heavy because I am carrying something so precious.
"Congratulations Sloan." Ron smiles leaning over my shoulder to get a look at her.
"You know I am proud." Quinn grumbles patting my back a little too hard now that I am holding a baby. I glare as he raises his hands in an apology.
"Have you guys got a name yet?" The nurse asks filling out some paperwork.
I nod my head, "We do." Looking over her face it fits her perfectly and I know Elle will think the same. "I want to wait for Elle."
"That's absolutely fine. Why don't you take a seat so you will be more comfortable. I would also recommend some skin to skin contact." She gestures to the chair I was sitting on before so I slowly make my way their scared of tripped and squishing the baby.
Sitting down she takes her off of me for a moment as I watch her every move. Quickly taking my shirt off she unwraps the blanket and places her on my chest with her head just resting over my heart. Then she covers her I the blankets again to keep her warm.
"This helps with bonding, stabilising her heartbeat and just keeping her calm and cozy in general. I'll leave you to it, if you need anything just press this buzzer and they should be bringing Evanna back through within the next 20-30 minutes."
After mumbling my thanks I cant keep my eyes of of her. She is tiny on my chest and I just hope she is warm enough. Her hands are in tight fits and she has her legs curled into herself on my chest like a little ball. God she is so fucking cute.
"We are going to give you guys some space now. Let us know when we can come back and check on all of you." Coach demands patting Ron on the back as they gather their stuff to leave.
"Thank you. Both of you."
After that it is just me and her and I put my small finger in front of her first to see if she will grip onto it.
"I love you so much my tiny thorn."
And with that she wraps her tiny hand around my finger.
• • •
Something warm is wriggling on my chest and peaking an eye open I see her and remember that everything is real and not a dream. Looking up I also spot a bed and laying in that bed is the lie of my life.
"Fuck, Evanna." I shot up rushing towards the side of her bed as she smiles gently at me. "How long have you been here? Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"Relax. I have been here for 10 minutes and I was content with watching you." She croaks as her smile begins to widen, "Is that her?" With my nod her eyes begin to water.
Leaning down so she can see her she places a kiss on her nose as tears begin to drip down her face, "She is so beautiful. I can't believe we made her Sloan. She was inside of me." She laughs lightly as I chuckle.
Just then the same nurse from earlier enters, "Ahh, Are you ready to hold her Evanna?"
Elle nods her head frantically as the nurse sits the bed up a little more before pulling her hospital gown down. Bending down some more I place her tiny body onto Elle's chest and we cover her with the gown and blankest again. After the nurse has cheeked over both her and the baby she leaves again to give us some privacy.
Evanna continues to cry as she places kisses on top of her head and I can't help but tear up to. They are both here with me and safe.
"You scared the absolute shit out of me." I warn moments before leaning down to take her lips in a kiss, soft and slow my heart warms at the feeling her lips on mine.
"I was scared as well." She mumbles once we have pulled apart, "My biggest fear was something happening to her or never seeing you again."
Resting my forehead on hers I look deep into her ocean eyes, "I have something to tell you. This isn't supposed to pressure you but fuck I should have said it earlier."
"Sloan -"
"No." I shake my head, "I hated you. You were spiteful and manipulative and made me feel ashamed that I was getting my education through a scholarship. I never felt good enough for you but I don't care anymore. You deserve more after everything you have been through and how much you have grown but fuck giving you up. You are mine and I am yours and I don't want it any other way. This tiny baby here is our little girl and she adds to what we already have in the most special way. I love her so much already, but my love for you grows deeper every day. Because I do, I love the shit out of you."
I heave practically spilling my whole life into her hands, she has the power to do with it whatever she wants and I just pray I haven't made things now awkward for us.
"You love me?" She whispers tears still slowly rolling down her cheeks as her hand rubs up and down the baby's back.
"No, stupid I just said that all for fun." I deadpan.
"Ass." She glares but then nods her head, "Well good."
"Well good? That's all I get?"
"Yes, because I love you too."
Hearing those words leave her mouth makes my head spin because fuck, she loves me. She loves me, I lover her and we both love this wrinkly little baby.
"You did so well, I'm so proud of you" Brushing her hair back off her forehead I place a kiss there closing my eyes and inhaling her scent to reassure me that she is here, safe, happy and with our gorgeous daughter too.
• • •
"Fucking shit." I grumble taking the nappy off again to turn it around.
"Did you put it on backwards again?" Elle giggles tiredly from the rocking chair. She looks cute all curled up and covered in blankets while waiting to breastfeed our daughter.
We had gotten home 2 days ago after both of them being monitored in hospital for a couple of days after. They were checking Elle's blood pressure every hour to make sure it didn't spike up again and were pleased to see that it was slowly coming back down. Her stitches from the cesarian were healing okay at the moment but she could sometimes be in a lot of pain.
"Why do I always do it?" I groan watching as as tiny thorn tries to completely inhale her fist in hunger as small noises begin to leave her wriggling body.
"Because your you and I love you for it." Elle murmurs watching us with a fond smile on her face and resting her chin on her hand.
Those words make my heart beat a little faster and a grin to automatically appear on my face. Quickly putting the nappy on the correct way and redressing her in the cute onesie Elle had gotten for her I hand her over just as the doorbell goes.
"That will be Shelby." She grins eyes lighting up despite how tired she is. I nod watching as tiny thorn latches on and making sure they are okay before going to get the door.
"Shelby, how are you doing?" I greet opening the door to see the small brunette smiling tiredly. Her dungarees is only held up by one strap as her bump has gotten bigger from the first time I meet her.
"Sloan. Congratulations." She murmurs soft spoken and accepting the hug I greet her with.
"The boy's are really growing arn't they?" I chuckle closing the door after her and slowly making our way to the nursery as she waddles behind me.
"Yes." She giggles one hand going to hold her bump.
"Ellie, hi." Shelby smiles leaning down slightly to kinda hug Elle as best as they can with a bump and a baby in the way.
Evanna laughs asking how she is doing as they talk about whatever while I tidy up. We had everyone coming over to announce her name and to officially meet her. I was so excited and just prayed everyone got the meaning behind it. Me and Elle loved it and didn't even need to discuss the possibility of something else.
I tune them out after moving them into the lounge going back and forth to help two waddling women until they were comfortable on the couch. Soon after that people start to arrive, Coach is first and demands a cuddle with the tiny thorn.
It's a sight to see the huge man holding something so small in his arms, he looks like he is too scared to move a muscle yet still somehow looks content, like he wants one of his own. I smile at him and ignore the glare and grumbles he spouts my way. Shelby starts to chat with him about ice hockey just as Ron arrives and pulls both me and Elle into a hug.
I'm happy to see that he hasn't brought his witch of a wife with him, it was the last straw when she refused to be even remotely worried about Elle and the baby when she was having her seizure.
Soon after Ma arrives and cries when she gets to hold her grand baby for the first time, Ronan swinging through the door holding the pizzas not a moment later. We all chat around, laughing at bad jokes and eating good food with the people we love and care about.
Me and Elle open some presents for her and the baby and I felt so calm, so content and I realised this was where I was supposed to be. This was exactly where I was needed and all that pressure just suddenly evaporates. If I don't make it pro then it is okay, I have other options and I most importantly have my girls by my side.
It took me awhile to realise most of the pressure was coming from myself. I needed to let myself melt a little in order to focus. Elle did that for me and I could only hope that I helped her I the way she has helped me. Seeing her strength, her determination to become a better person makes me want to do the same. Be the best I can be for myself and for them.
Elle was a plot twist. Tiny thorn was an even bigger plot twist. Yet they are the best type of twist I could ever ask for.
"Common then mama, tell us the details." Ronan asks trowing an arm along the couch he is sat on.
I grin pulling Elle into my side as she snuggles into my chest, our daughter slowly falling asleep in her arms after being passed around like pass the parcel.
"She was born at 11:56pm on the 21st of July weighing 6lb exactly."
Nods of interest and murmurs of awe's fill the room as they all hold their breath for the best part. Her name.
"Say hello to Rosie." Elle smiles running a finger down her small nose.
"Rose for short." I murmur.
My thorn and my rose.
• • •
Hi, Honey Bees 💛
Sloan's speech😍
PLUS they said I love you!🥲
We are so close to the end guys, literally only a couple more chapters 😭
If someone could let me know where I can purchase fictional men It would be very appreciated.
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Winnie x
winnieiswriting 2022