INTO THE STARS
———
BRINLEY
The whirring of the blender shocks me, even though I was anticipating it. It seems to get louder and louder every single time I do it.
Watching as the ingredients blend never fails to amuse me, though. It's the little things in life. The color of the strawberries always overrules anything else in there. What used to be bananas, strawberries, protein powder, almond milk, and ice has now turned into a delicious smoothie.
After my morning run, smoothies are my go-to. Though they may not make a complete meal, I still love them.
This morning, I worked myself a little harder than usual. Going on runs in the morning has always been something I have done for as long as I could remember, but as of recently, I haven't found the motivation to do it.
It's too bad, honestly. This morning was grueling but therapeutic. I put all my built-up emotions into my run and it paid off. I ran four miles, which is more than I would typically do .
Amongst the whirring of the blender, I barely notice the front door opening and closing as Brooklynn enters. So when I turn around to face the island bench and find Brooklynn sitting right at the bench, saying it scared me would be an understatement.
"Jesus Christ!" I breathe out, resting my hand on my racing heart. I shut off the blender, my smoothie already finished by the time I acknowledge Brooklynn's presence. "You scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry." Brooklynn winces.
I pour my smoothie concoction into a tall, narrow glass. "How was your night?"
Brooklynn shrugs. "It was nice. We just chilled, ordered some pizza, and watched a movie. You'd be pleased to know Aidan convinced me to watch a Marvel movie with him."
I smile, placing a metal straw into my drink before taking a small sip. "The real question now is whether or not you enjoyed it."
Brooklynn shrugs again, but I can see the smile peeking through her face. She definitely enjoyed it.
"Little liar." I laugh and she finally lets her smile loose.
Changing the subject, Brooklynn says, "Have you heard about next week?"
Next week, if I recall correctly, all classes and lectures are being dismissed. I have no idea why, but all I know is that the reasoning is disclosed.
"Yeah, I think so. One of my professors mentioned it to me a couple of days ago. To be honest, I don't know what I am going to do. I think I might use the extra time to study ahead. I have an exam in one of my harder classes in a few weeks," I say, more so to myself, plotting out what I am going to do for an entire week in my head.
Brooklynn perks up, her brown eyes gazing at me. "So you aren't busy, then?"
I shake my head, taking another—much longer—sip of my smoothie. This is God's gift to humans.
Brooklynn sighs in relief. Relief for I don't know what, but she does. "Well, Tyson—Aidan's roommate—had this crazy plan. Not that crazy because I agreed to it, but whatever. Anyway, his mom has a rich new boyfriend, supposedly, and has offered his cabin to us—us being Aidan and his roommates—for the week. I think we are going to go snowboarding or skiing, either or. I just thought I should let you know."
"Why does it feel like you are asking me for permission to go?" I release a lighthearted chuckle. "I hope you have fun. It sounds like a fun trip."
"Aidan and I did some talking last night. Before the movie and after the meeting." My eyebrows tip down. What meeting and what is she getting at? "Okay, what I am trying to say is that Aidan and I had a discussion and were wondering if you were up for it."
I narrow my eyes at her and hesitantly, I ask, "Up for what?"
Brooklynn audibly inhales before she speaks. "Up for going on the trip with us. It is completely understandable if you don't want to. But I thought I would ask, anyway. Especially because of everything that has happened recently. I thought you might need a break from it."
I stare at her, slightly dazed. This invitation is so sudden and unexpected that I am left speechless. I don't know what to say to that.
An image of Malachi flashes into my brain. Of our only interaction on the balcony less than a week ago. That night I was tipsy but not drunk. Not drunk enough to completely blackout and forget everything that happened the night prior.
I remember all of that night. Specifically, the balcony.
I definitely witnessed something that I shouldn't have. Something that was incredibly private and vulnerable. I wanted to help him, but I didn't know how to because I did not know what was happening. And also because I didn't think my help would be much appreciated considering how displeased he seemed by my presence. I don't even remember my thought process why I stayed there that night.
"Is that okay with everybody else?" I ask hesitantly.
Brooklynn nods eagerly. "We asked Holden and Tyson this morning and they said it was fine. Malachi wasn't home, but I don't think he will mind either."
I beg to differ on that.
"Are you sure about this?" The fact I am considering this isn't surprising, to be frank. There is something about going on adventures or to unknown places that has always been something I enjoyed since attending college.
"Yes, I am sure," Brooklynn assures.
I stare at her, taking a sip of my smoothie that I somehow forgot about during this conversation. "Okay... when do you leave?"
Brooklynn sighs in relief once again and this time, I know what for. She smiles and rounds the counter, coming to hug me.
"Thank goodness. I don't think I would have survived in one house with so much testosterone for an entire week. And we leave tomorrow. So get to packing." She smiles again, releasing her arms from around me as I laugh with her.
In the back of my mind, I have a feeling I might regret this, but I try to ignore it.
・ ・ ・
I am definitely regretting this right about now.
Holden and Tyson are both sitting in the front seat, whilst Malachi and I are stuck in the back. We have barely shared one glance since entering the car, and to say it is a little awkward would be an understatement. The awkwardness between Malachi and me is almost palpable.
I don't think it is awkwardness, though—more like hatred or something like that from his end.
"I am going to piss my pants," Tyson whines, squirming uncomfortably in his seat.
Holden's gaze doesn't falter from the road. "Fucking hold it. We just left. And I even told you to go before we left and you said, and I quote, 'What am I? A toddler? I don't need to piss before we leave for a trip.' Don't even try to deny it."
Tyson sinks further into the chair. "Well, I didn't know I would drink that soda so fast. And note to future Holden, never use my own words against me again."
Holden chuckles. "What's the fun in that?"
Tyson says nothing after that.
Staring out the window, the familiar streets on campus turn unfamiliar as we grow further and further away. Through my earbuds, a Lana Del Ray song plays. I prepared ahead, creating a whole playlist dedicated to this two-hour drive I am in for.
I wish Brooklynn was here right now. That way, I would at least have someone to talk to, but she had to go with Aidan. Something about needing to visit Aidan's sister before. Brooklynn said she could come with me, but I assured her I would be fine and the drive would go by fast.
I am unsure of how much time has passed, though I am sure it hasn't been that look since there are some places we drive past that I vaguely recognize.
Since being at USC for the past three years of my life, it should be criminal how little of California I have explored. I have seen the more renown places but not the hidden gems that only the locals know about.
It probably has more to do with the fact I came from such a small and tight-knit town in Vermont that everywhere you went, you knew.
I like the familiarity of things. As I get older, I still have that, but I learned that there is a factor of unfamiliarity that I have found to be thrilling, invigorating, enticing.
Looking away from the scenery outside my window, I look to my right. Malachi sits beside me, with a comfortable amount of space between us as he stares out the window like I was doing moments ago.
I can't pinpoint exactly what it is, but something compels me to him. In a strange sort of way.
He is beautiful—I can pinpoint that—in a mysterious sort of beautiful. Strands of his brown, almost jet-black hair lay haphazardly across his forehead as though he has ran his fingers through them too many times.
I can imagine that. On the balcony, I remember him threading his fingers through his hair like some sort of clutch or distraction from whatever he was experiencing.
The bone structure of his face leaves me in awe every time I look at him. I have tried so hard so many times it isn't even funny at this point to get the same look through makeup, yet he has it effortlessly.
From the few times I have seen him, I know that beneath that white hoodie he is wearing right now, there are many tattoos on his arms and assumably scattered across his chest as well.
If I was in the right headspace and looking for someone, he would be exactly what I am looking for. Looks-wise, at least.
Too bad he doesn't seem to be fond of my presence and I am growing less and less fond of him. I think the times I interacted with him, the alcohol clouded my judgment.
Looking away, I am convinced he knew I was staring at him for much longer than I should've.
I think I only have two choices right now: steer away from all men or find some insanely passionate man who spends his days in the mountains to hook up with during my stay. Cause whatever is happening to me right now is not very appreciated.
It feels like I am sort of stuck in between two islands. One island is where I am fully over Ben and ready to move on. And the other is where I am wallowing in self-destructing thoughts, wondering what the fuck my life has become while I eat Oreos and listen to Adele all day long.
I need to get to the second island because Ben—and Anna—deserve to rot in hell for the personal hell they have made my life.
The further and further away from campus, the more I see more snow patches scattered across the ground. Or lakes that have just frozen over.
I am no stranger to snow. I grew up in Vermont, for Christ's sake. But every time I see it, it feels like the first. I find something about snow and winter so magical.
While my mother used to complain relentlessly during my childhood about the mounds of snow piled everywhere, I loved it. One of my favorite feelings is waking up and looking out the window, seeing snowflakes falling from the sky, knowing you can spend the day cuddled up in blankets reading or watching movies, and not feeling guilty.
During the drive, I drown out anything anyone around me is saying, focusing on my surroundings and the music flowing into my ears. Occasionally, I spare Malachi a glance. I don't know why—every time I look at him, his position hasn't faltered whatsoever—but my gaze is just drawn to him for some reason.
I am not entirely sure how long we have been driving. It feels like forever, but it probably has only been an hour and a half. And my gaze is attracted right back to the place it has been drifting this entire road trip.
Focusing back on him, I take in all his features for what has got to be the fifth time. I seem to believe that his outfit must've changed in the ten minutes I have gone without looking at him, but lo-and-behold, he is still wearing his grey sweatpants, black sneakers, and white hoodie.
Looking away from his body, I return my stare to his face, startled to find him staring right back at me. Those grey eyes of his peruse me oddly. While normally I wouldn't, his gaze makes me feel extremely self-conscious.
Scrutinizing me in the same way I did him. It feels weird being on the receiving end of his attention right now. Our gazes catch each other and tension lurks between the two of us. Not sexual tension, though. More like ambivalence.
My thoughts on him are conflicting. I find him attractive, but am not finding a certain likeness to him. He probably feels the same way, minus the attraction part. I think he is just staring at me to prove what it feels like.
He holds my stare, not wavering at all. I inhale, feeling acutely aware of my surroundings. Malachi cocks an eyebrow at me, a ghost of a smirk pulling on his lips. One last time, I look up and down and before I glance away; I smirk at him.
"How much longer?" Tyson groans, shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat. "I think my dick is about to explode."
"Dude, you fucking tell me how much longer? You have the directions on your phone in front of you. And as for your dick, leave him out of any conversations we have in the future. I'd rather not think about Little Tyson," Holden complains with a grimace from the driver's seat, turning the steering wheel with the palm of his hand.
Up ahead, I spot a sign pointing to a road with massive evergreen trees on either side reading Snow Summit. Presumably, we are almost here. Thank fuck. I don't think I could survive much longer in this suffocating vehicle.
Within twenty minutes, we reach a secluded cabin. On the top of a hill sits a reasonably large log cabin. The asphalt drive leading to the top is free of any snow, lined by dark pine trees, casting shadows on the ground.
Snow covers all the grass like a blanket and I can tell the air outside is frigid without even leaving the car. We ascend the driveway and atop the hill sits a gorgeous log cabin with a cozy feel, even from the exterior.
It looks to be a three-story home with the bottom story being a two- or more-car garage and the upper two levels being the living quarters. The entire exterior is forest wood logs or stone bricks.
From the front, there is a porch with some stairs leading to the front door and a high roofing. Industrial windows allow a brief look inside and I can tell already that I am going to fall in love with this house.
Maybe coming wasn't such a bad idea after all.
Holden scoffs in disbelief as the car comes to a stop. "You weren't joking when you said your mother's new boyfriend was loaded."
Tyson stares at the house in utter perplexity. "I thought he was joking. For my birthday, don't be shocked if I come home driving a brand new Lamborghini, okay?"
He looks back at me expectantly with a wide grin. I just nod with a smile tugging at my lips. "Got it."
Tyson jumps out of the car, yelping slightly when he first opens the door, letting the air into the car. I do admit; the air is fucking ice cold. I love it.
He slammed his car door shut just before he runs to the letterbox, retrieving the keys and opening the garage door immediately. After Holden reverses into the garage, I enter the house, exploring every nook and cranny.
Just as I suspected, I fall in love with the house instantly. It is gorgeous, rustic, and feels exactly like a ski lodge should feel. At the back of the house, industrial windows line the entire back wall, overlooking the extensive backyard filled with pine trees and snow. I even spot a spa just off of the house, which will be nice after a long day on the slopes. Just above the strip of pine trees, you can see a beautiful view of the mountains that leaves me breathless.
I don't think I realized how much I have missed this until this moment.
When I was growing up, every winter break, my family would go away with my cousins and grandparents to the same ski resort. We would spend Christmas and New Year's there.
Those trips involve some of my most cherished memories from childhood. We would spend the days skiing and the nights in the spa, easing our limbs from the tiresome day. It never got old.
I remember one time, my cousin, India, and I spent the entire night in a fort we had created underneath the dining room table in our own log cabin. My auntie and mother thought we were crazy, but Indi and I were having fun. That was all that mattered.
I can't place the last time we had that trip. I think it was the winter before the scandal happened and everything went downhill.
Shaking my head to no one in particular, I stop looking out the window at the mountains. I return to the garage, finding Aidan's car has arrived. Brooklynn and Aidan are nowhere in sight, though, so I go to the trunk of Holden's car, grab my luggage, and lug it upstairs, hoping to find an available room.
At the top of the staircase, there is a long hallway lined with numerous doors. I assume the doors that are closed are already claimed rooms, so I glance down the hallway, finding a right at the end that appears to be empty.
When I push open the door, I inhale a deep breath of the earthy scent that is all over the house, perusing the room. It looks like a generic guest room—minimal decoration, basic comforter.
It is the view that makes me speechless, though.
The same view as the lounge room I was admiring earlier—just from a slightly higher viewpoint—is right here in my bedroom. I wonder why no one snagged this bedroom while it was still available, because there is no chance in hell anyone is getting this room now.
After I throw my luggage onto the bed, I go to admire the view for longer. Even from a distance, I can see little specks that are people skiing or snowboarding down the mountain. It brings a smile to my face as I reminisce on more memories.
I have a feeling this would be the sort of place my dad would have absolutely loved the same way I do. We always had that in common. Our love for anything to do with winter and mountains.
God, it has been so long since I have been anywhere remotely close to home or somewhere that reminded me of my childhood.
It makes me miss my dad and the man he was. The man he was before society got to him. The man before he let something illegal control his life...
I wish he were here to see it.
———
AUTHORS NOTE
uhhh don't ask me how i wrote over 3000 words and edited a chapter in five hours cause i have no fucking clue either.
anyway, chapter 10 the same day as chapter 9 🤪 hope you liked it :) any thoughts ?
i am literally so fucking excited for this book, you have no idea.
love you guys and let's hope the next chapters come as quickly as this one did. i doubt it but a girl can only hope.
thank you so so so much for 300 votes on into the stars already btw. this book is growing so fast and i cannot keep up.
don't forget to vote, comment and share and don't be a silent reader.
you are all beautiful and i love you 💞
lots of love,
rose x
p.s. the photo at the beginning of the chapter is a rough idea of what the cabin looks like :))