~In which you rebel against a photographer, nearly drop kick a child in self defense, teach Naruto a lesson he'll never forget, and summon a rainbow like a badass~
A/N: Ello, ello, ello! What do we 'ave ere? (Internally cringes) It appears to be... 100 READS!? HDNZNDX WHAT IN THE NAME OF ANIME!?... Ok but in all seriousness, thank you all so much! It may not seem like much compared to other stories, but to me this means the world. I have loved writing this story, and I am planning to see it through to the end.
I don't want to take up to much of ya'll's valuable reading time, so lemme get straight to the point of this A/N: I'm planning on making a special. I was thinking of doing an incorrect quotes chapter cause' I haven't had the chance to create deep enough bonds with the characters for a one-on-one chapter just yet. I am, however, open to suggestions and if you guys want it, I'm happy to do a one-on-one; After all, this story wouldn't be where it is now without you! Comment what you guys would like me to do, and any preferences you have!
~
^^^Recap^^^
Sitting cross legged on the floor, you begin to write down everything you knew about the future into your 'Book of Purpose', or 'BOP' for short.
The name was inspired by the woman who gifted it to you.
^^^Back to the present^^^
It's 8am, far to early to be up in your opinion.
But did you have a choice?
No.
"Y/N-CHANNN!!" Naruto yells from outside your door. "WAKE UP!!"
BAM! You, being the highly-evolved lifeform you are, smack your head on the ceiling after being startled by Naruto's 'Wakeup call'.
"Mother of macaroni-!" You hiss in pain, cradling your wound. "Naruto, what is it!? I swear, if you cut yourself trying to open a packet of ramen again-"
"NO! THAT'S NOT IT! AND THAT HAPPENED ONCE!" He yells back. "WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR PICTURES!!!"
Pictures..?
As in, our genin ID pictures?
"..."
^^^Mini timeskip brought to you by setting a new world record in 'fastest morning routine^^^
"Say 'cheese'!" The photographer says, momentarily blinding you as he took your photo.
"Cheddar!" You say, smiling. Heheh I is rebel.
"There, all done." He says, handing you your new ID card. "You look lovely, by the way."
Lovely!? I don't look lovely! I am the least photogenic person I know! You mentally screech. He's probably just trying to be nice, I probably look like a greasy onion who had a child with a moldy potato! Oh, my life is over. Goodbye Konoha, I'm running away to join the Strawhats! I'm gonna commit so much arson and- WHAT THE HECK!?
You stare at your photo in awe, mentally thanking the Anime gods for the gift they granted you. You. Look. Hot. Like, a-mix-between-a-Disney-princess-and-those-awesome-anime-girls hot.
The Anime and Manga gods have bestowed a great blessing upon you, and you vow to make use of it.
You smile slightly to yourself as you leave the room, making eye contact with Naruto.
You then proceed to choke on air. You had COMPLETELY forgotten about this part.
There stands Naruto in all his glory, proudly sporting- you don't even know WHAT was on his face.
He sees you and grins.
"Y/N-Chan! Do you like my makeup!? I did it myself!" He exclaimed proudly.
You try to find the right words, but fail miserably. "It's... Awesome!" You exclaim, not really sure what else to say. "I love how it... erm... Brings out your eyes! Gaara would be proud!"
"Who's Gaara?" Naruto asks, causing you to panic just a little. And by a little, you mean screw the 'little' part.
Y/N. exe has stopped working. Please try again in 30 seconds whilst she attempts to frantically come up with a lie.
"He's... um... a friend of mine." You say, internally cringing at how suspicious that sounded.
Thankfully, Naruto is worse at spotting lies than you are at telling them.
"Oh! Okay then, Y/N-chan!" He says, heading into the photo room. "Wait for me!" He yells over his shoulder.
^^^3rd P.O.V^^^
Despite Naruto looking like a clown, the photographer is not amused.
With an irritated tone, he asks him: "Listen, kid. You sure you want me to take your picture like.. that?"
"Yes! Just do it! Come on, come on!" Naruto exclaims impatiently, bouncing on his seat.
The photographer gives up, just wanting to get payed and get out. "Fine." He sighs, "Don't blame me later." And with the click of a button, Naruto's beautiful face is captured in all its glory.
^^^Mini timeskip to the Hokage's office brought to you by a One Piece reference^^^
You and Naruto are sitting patiently in front of the Hokage whilst he looks over your photos- Naruto sits relaxed with a close-eyed smile, his hands folded behind his head. You fall asleep every so often, your head lolling down towards your lap before you abruptly wake up.
The Hokage groans in dissatisfaction.
"Take it again." He bluntly says.
"What!?" "Huh!? No way!" You both exclaim. Your photo was perfect! It was blessed by the anime gods, for manga's sake!
"Not you, Y/n. Your photo is fine." The Hokage says, before looking to Naruto. "Naruto, we can't accept this photo."
"Yeah?" Naruto says firmly, "Well, I'm not doing it again!"
Naruto growls in anger as you smirk, knowing what's coming next.
"TRANSFORM!" He yells- or should you say she. The female version of him giggles and asks in a feminine voice; "Pretty please, Lord Hokage??"
The Hokage blinks a few times before letting out a shout and falling backwards in his chair. You let out a laugh similar to a dying cat as Naruto transforms back into his normal self, pointing at gramps with a 'WTF' face.
The Hokage gets up and dabs at his bloodied nose with a white cloth saying, "That's your 'Sexy Jutsu', you say? Very tricky, much to tricky. Don't do it again."
Naruto scratches the back of his head, chuckling nervously.
"And where is your headband, Naruto? You're supposed to be wearing it." The Hokage asks.
Naruto reaches up to the goggles placed on his head, "Oh, I'm not putting it on until orientation. I don't want to mess it up"
'Ah yes,' You think to yourself 'Because it's going to stay perfectly clean for, what? Another two minutes?'
"So." The Hokage says, getting ready for a beatdown. "You want your headband nice. But your photo, the one which is supposed to identify you, makes you look like a clown."
OHHHH!! YA NEED SOME ICE FOR DAT BURN!?
"It's for ninja training and missions which is the key to your future. Look at this picture! You can't even tell who it is!" The Hokage continues.
"Well, fine!" Naruto huffs in annoyance. "How am I supposed to know all this complicated stuff anyway!?"
The Hokage opens his mouth to answer when a wild Konohamaru appears, cutting him off.
"Old Man! I challenge you!" He yells, brandishing a shuriken.
"I'm going to defeat you and become the fifth Hokage!" He boldly proclaims, rushing the Hokage.
He then proceeds to trip and fall.
Face first.
Hard.
He grabs his face in pain and begins to screech in pure pain and agony from the horrific ordeal he had just endured.
Note the sarcasm.
Now, Konohamaru may not have necessarily been your favorite character in the series, but you did have a soft spot for kids. So, walking over to him, you help him up. And being the awkward person you are with absolutely no clue how to deal with a bawling child-ninja, you awkwardly hug him.
Konohamaru stiffens and sniffs a few times, before eventually calming down and wiggling out of your grip.
"Alright, alright. I get it. But I'm a ninja! And ninjas don't need some dumb-" He abruptly stops as he looks up and makes eye contact with you, a small blush spreading across his cheeks.
"...Some dumb what?" You ask, challengingly raising an eyebrow.
"N-nothing!" He stammers.
Just then, his 'trainer'- Ebisu the closet pervert- enters the room, looking at Konohamaru.
"Errr... Something tripped me!" Konohamaru blurts out, looking for an excuse for his pitiful state.
Ebisu surveys the room, looking for proof of the kid's excuse. "Are you okay, honorable grandson? And by the way, there's nothing here for you to trip on, it's pretty flat." He says, fixing his shades.
Konohamaru looks around desperately before his gaze lands on Naruto. He walks up to him whilst saying, "Alright, you're the one tripped me, aren't you!?"
A red tick mark appears on the side of Naruto's head. He stands up and grabs his long blue scarf.
Naruto growls at Konohamaru. "You tripped over your own feet, Dork!" He argues.
"Naruto." You warn.
"Hey, you!" Ebisu yells. "Take your hands off of him right now! He's the honorable grandson of the honorable Third Hokage!"
"Hm?" Naruto looks at Ebisu, then to you, and finally back to Konohamaru.
"What's the matter, huh!?" Konohamaru jeers. "I though you were gonna hit me, tough guy! Afraid that the Third Hokage is my grandfather??"
Kid, these hands are rated 'E' for everyone. That includes you.
Fortunately, before you can get yourself kicked out of Konoha for drop kicking the Hokage's grandson in self defense, Naruto cuts you off.
"I DON'T CARE IF HE'S YOUR GRANDMOTHER!!" Naruto yells, punching him in the head. "SO, BELIEVE IT"
"HEY!" You whack Naruto upside the head. "I get he's acting like a little shite, but you can't just hit a child!"
"..OWWW!!" Naruto cries, clutching his head.
"...This is not looking good." The Hokage says, watching the scene in front of him.
Konohamaru is jeering at Naruto.
Naruto is running around the room and clutching his head.
You're chasing Naruto around with a protractor.
And Ebisu is frozen in horror.
^^^Mini timeskip brought to you by the Hokage's ability to get a chaotic memelord to stop trying to stab Naruto with a protractor^^^
You and Naruto are walking through the streets of Konoha, discussing what to have for dinner that night. Well, more like you trying to give options and Naruto rejecting them all.
"Pizza?"
"No."
"Falafel?"
"No way."
"...Bread?"
Naruto gives you a side eye as you huff. Hey, I like ramen as much as the next person, but I can't have it every day... What am I saying? I'm a college student. Of course I can.
Sighing, you give into Naruto's puppy dog eyes once again.
"Would you like... Ramen?"
Naruto instantly brightens up.
"Yes! Yes!" He exclaims, doing a little happy dance. "I love ramen!"
"Lemme guess- Miso ramen with extra pork?" You ask.
He nods his head vigorously as he tackles you in a hug. "I love you, Y/N-Chan!!"
You freeze.
Naruto, realizing what he just said, fumbles over his words as he tries to apologize.
"N-Not like that! I love that you're giving me ramen, not you!"
You raise an offended eyebrow.
"N-Not that I don't like you! I like you, a lot!- Just not in that way!" Naruto's face turns pink as he stutters out an explanation. (A/N: Poor, sweet, innocent Naruto. Little does he know, resistance is futile.)
Your playfully punch him in the shoulder, hard. This earns you a groan of protest from Naruto as he rubs the spot where you hit him.
You both continue walking, engaging in playful banter as you go. Suddenly, you notice a huge ball of cloth- the same shade as the ground- following you. You nudge Naruto as he slightly nods, signaling to keep walking.
You both continue down the street as Konohamaru tails you both. With each step, Naruto gets more and more annoyed until he finally snaps.
"I know that you're following us, so just give it up!" He says, revealing that he had noticed Konohamaru.
You turn to see Konohamaru badly disguised a fence post... And facing the wrong way. You let out a small chuckle at his mistake.
"It's so obvious, it's pathetic!" Naruto continues.
Konohamaru chuckles, impressed with Naruto's observational skills (Even though you were the one who spotted him in the first place).
Pulling down the cloth, he says; "Got through my disguise, huh? Rumors about you are true- You are good." He walks to Naruto and points at him. "Alright, I'll be your apprentice and you'll be my trainer!"
"Heh!?" Naruto exclaims, confused.
"And you!" He says, turning you. "You'll be my girlfriend!"
"HEH!?" Naruto exclaims.
"Uhh.. Sorry kid, I'm not really looking at the moment." You say, choosing your words carefully.
"If not now, then when?" He asks, tilting his head cutely.
You clench your jaw. Why do kids have to be so adorable!? At that moment, you would kill everyone in this village and then yourself if anything happened to this kid.
"How do I put this..." You ponder. "When you're not four years younger than me?" (A/N: Canonically, you're currently twelve. At this point in the series, Konohamaru is eight.)
Konohamaru visibly deflates whilst you internally cringe and Naruto smirks.
However, he brightens back up again when he turns to face Naruto.
"Alright, trainer! Afterward you've got to show me how to do that Sexy Jutsu thing you did on grandpa Hokage!"
Naruto shakes himself out of his smug demeanor as he crosses his arms.
"This is some kind of joke, isn't it?" He asks.
"No! I need a new trainer! Please, Boss!?" Konohamaru begs.
"Huh? Boss?" Naruto asks, his attention caught.
"Yeah, you're the Boss!" Konohamaru chants. "Boss! Boss! Boss!"
You begin to chant with him.
"Hummina, Hummina, Hummina!" You both begin to circle Naruto, chanting.
"Hummina! Boss! Hummina! Boss!"
Naruto chuckles while rubbing the back of his neck. "Well? How can I refuse?"
^^^Mini Timeskip brought to you by Catra the cat^^^
You are standing next to Naruto as he begins his first 'lesson' with Konohamaru.
"Listen." Naruto lectures. "You want to be a master ninja? Then, believe it, you've got to learn how to control your Catra."
You respectfully laugh your head off.
~
Kakashi stands in a field, facing off against Zabuza. They both charge their attacks, but Kakashi is faster...
"Chidori! Nyah! Nyah!" He shouts, charging at Zabuza with his attack.
Zabuza also charges.
"Water Prison Jutsu!" He yells, letting out a battle cry, "MEOWWW!"
Their attacks clash as they both hiss at their opponent...
~
"Catra?" Konohamaru asks, looking at Naruto.
"That's what I said! Catra!" Naruto replies. "And Y/N, stop laughing!"
"Uh, Boss..." Konohamaru starts. "I think you're talking about 'Chakra'."
"Don't question me!" Naruto says, stomping his feet. "Real ninjas say Catra!"
"Excuse meh?" You say, giving Naruto a 'TF you just say, boy?' face.
"N-no! N/N-Chan!" Naruto panics, not wanting to feel the wrath of the memelord. "Y-your a real ninja, just not as... good as me."
Konohamaru senses the storm that is to come and nopes TF outa there- a smart move.
"Lord Shaggy." You say in an unearthly voice. "Lend me your strength."
"W-what..?" Naruto asks, sweatdropping with wide eyes.
^^^We do not speak of the events that followed, but let it be known Naruto will never underestimate Y/N again^^^
Leaving behind a trail of chaos that would make Loki proud, you walked to the secluded training grounds, finding an empty field.
Why were you here?
Well, for one, you needed to practice your Jutsus- If you didn't get stronger, how were you going to help people within this world?
And secondly, you wanted to test the whole 'Spontaniously-make-up-your-own-jutsus' thing that the Y/Ns is fanfics seemed to always be able to do.
So, after punching a tree for over an hour without stopping like a total badass (Ok, fine, you punched it once then rolled around in agony for a while cause, well, YOU JUST PUNCHED A TREE), you stood in the center of the field and made a bunch of random hand signs, yelling the first thing that came to your head:
"RAINBOW JUTSU! I CANNOT STOP TWINKLING!" You shriek.
The clouds above you part as a rainbow tears through the air towards the ground- Creating a massive crater and stripping several trees of their leaves.
"... Holy shit." You say, stunned, before your face slowly contorts into a manic grin. "Me likey."
Your moment of plotting was short-lived, however, because from the other side of the tree line you hear shouts growing louder by the second.
"Did you see that!?"
"What was that thing!?"
"It looked like... A rainbow!?"
"It came from over there!"
...Feck.
~
Ayo! Just another gigantic thankyou to you all for the one hundred reads!
Also, I'm gonna stop shoving multiple episodes into one chapter because:
1) It makes them way to long
2) It's confusing
3) It seriously slows down my update time
In conclusion: No, I'm not being lazy and making shorter chapters, I'm just making them less confusing and/or difficult to read. Yes, there will be an increase in the number of chapters I'm putting out. And yes, I will continue my trashy poetry at the end of each chapter that you all seem to enjoy.
And finally, I'm going to put memes at the top of chapters when I don't put photos for plot purposes. Why? Because I can.
That's all from me for now!
See ya next time,
-Rando <3