Below is a representation photo of how I picture Kasper. Enjoy!
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It was now the month of May and the air indeed proved to be fresh and warm, beginning to switch to summer weather. I'm still in a healthy relationship with Harry, however, my relationship with Malfoy was not the same. We have not really had a conversation since I punched him in the face. Everyone still enjoys to talk about the incident as if it happened yesterday. I had to admit I still felt terribly guilty but Harry has made his attempt to convince me Malfoy deserved to be punched and I believe his attempt was somewhat successful. Still, I don't know if I could forgive myself so easily or if Malfoy would forgive me at all.
Malfoy seems to get along just fine without me and goes about his daily business as usual. He still profusely bullies the Gryffindors, gossips about nonsense, and thinks he is the most amazing person in the school for his wealth and his father's high position in the Ministry of Magic. He even finds his way to ignore me perfectly well. It bothered me a little at first but I have learned that I don't need to waste my precious time worrying over someone who doesn't care for me anymore. Besides, I have Harry Potter, my marvelous boyfriend. Harry cares for me much more than Malfoy ever did. Harry and I have gone on multiple dates, cuddled in his dorm, and he even let me ride on his broom at the Quidditch Pitch. Flying on the broom terrified me at first but I eventually got the hang of it though I still was not completely skillful on a broom.
Occasionally, Harry and I past notes in class to say "I love you" or "have a nice day". He has even given me a hoodie to wear whenever it pleased me so. The hoodie appeared to be worn out and was rather large, however, I still wore it and it kept me warm during the cold weather. I actually made him a bracelet in return and he always wore it with pride, letting everyone know his girlfriend made it for him.
By now, everyone knows about me and Harry and no longer had to be kept a secret. Even the teachers took notice to this unusually happy couple. Professor Snape doesn't even let me and Harry sit by each other, afraid we may do "childish" things as he likes to say. It did not matter, for me and Harry always found one way or another to communicate with each other. Ron had suggested me and Harry could read each other's minds. We both laughed at the idea. We could not read minds but we could always talk to one another through a simple expression or subtle gesture. That was how close we were to each other.
Every now and then, I'll talk to Kasper though I assumed he preferred to keep his distance. Other times, I would not see him in class or he would quietly come in very late. I ignored it and continued on with my life.
Pansy and I met in the halls the other day and I wondered what she thought of me. She said she was not too fond of Harry but as long as I was happy, she would be okay. She even recognized how poorly Malfoy reacted and agreed to still be my friend. We decided we were not going to let a silly boy ruin our friendship.
Now, I am sitting alone in the library after hours (I have gotten permission from the library keeper). I tried my best to focus on my pile of homework that laid before me, yet the only thoughts my brain could conjure were the ones about Malfoy. It angered me that his stupid little face was keeping me from completing any assignment for any of my classes. I did not think back to the time where he yelled at me for confessing my feelings for Harry or to the time he threatened me with the words "you'll see". Rather, I thought about the strange moments where his slender fingers gently stroked across my face or when his icy blue eyes glared at me-
I hit myself in the head for remembering those odd encounters with Malfoy. Those were in the past and I did not want to remember anything about him. Malfoy was practically dead to me yet those years of once true friendship could sadly never be pushed away or forgotten.
It also did not occur to me until just now that only a few months ago, Malfoy had feelings for me. He treated me with respect though he had his days. Except, his snarky remarks and bad temper was just something I had learned to deal with because that was just what made Malfoy... well- Malfoy. However, those are really not good character traits and his prideful, arrogant self later caused us to separate.
I now understand why Harry and the Gryffindors hate him so much. If you go against Malfoy, then he will go against you.
Simple as that.
I readjusted myself in my seat, now more determined than ever to push all thoughts of Malfoy aside and focus on my work. And I did succeed for a few minutes...
Until I saw him.
Kasper.
He was running his fingers across the dusty bookshelf's, probably searching for a book for his essay, though he did not appear as if he were truly searching for a book, but rather his expression resembled boredom.
"Kas?" I said with a confused look.
Kasper jumped at the sound of my voice, and put his head down in his own embarrassment.
"What do you want?" He asked, voice bitter cold.
I became offended at the tone of his voice.
"Nothing of course. Just wondering why you are here also."
Kasper did not say a thing in return. Instead, he stared back at me as if I were a peculiar sight to see.
"You can have a seat across from me," I suggested, gesturing to the chair on the other side of the table from where I sat.
Hesitantly, he sat down in the chair across from me. He sat there awkwardly as I continued with my homework.
"So," I began, trying to start a small conversation, "How have you been?"
"Splendid."
"Well, do you remember that time when I punched Malfoy right in the face?"
"I do."
"I know it's been a few months but I'm still deciding whether I should feel proud or guilty. However, he has not messed with me since then so I think it did him a bit of good."
"Maybe."
I noticed Kasper was not contributing to the conversation at all, but I continued on anyways.
"Yeah, well, we haven't spoken since then and it has been super awkward for us but who cares. After all, he's an arrogant prick who needs to be humbled, don't you think?"
"Certainly."
"I have also recently been on a picnic date with Harry. It went super well though Harry had to catch me before I fell into the Black Lake. He still teases me about it."
I felt my face turn red just talking about Harry. Oh how joyful he made me feel!
"That's funny," was Kasper's dry response.
Was he mad at me?
"Enough about me. Has anything interesting happened recently?"
"No."
"Have you done anything?"
"School."
I slammed my book shut angrily. Kasper hardly look phased at all though fury burned in his eyes.
"Do you have a problem?" I suddenly snapped.
Kasper just laughed out loud... a loud, hideous laugh. I knew just from that that he was clearly mad about something.
"Not at all! Totally don't have to be a DEATH EATER IN TWO MONTHS!" he shouted, forgetting we were in a public place.
"Kas, we're in a library-."
"Look around! It's after hours and no one is here!" he cut me off angrily.
But then, instead of being enraged that he was raising his voice at me, it finally clicked. My heart sank and I felt ill at the reminder. I was so caught up in my own chaos that I completely forgot Kasper was soon to be a Death Eater.
I completely pushed him away.
"Kas, I-."
"Forgot? I know." he cut me off once more.
"Look, I didn't forget. I just got so distracted and made myself busy that I completely neglected you. I promise way back that we would discuss everything and I failed to keep my promise. Trust me, I understand."
"BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! YOU HAVE NO IDEA!"
"BUT I DO," I shouted back, now becoming infuriated.
"YOU HONESTLY DON'T!" Kasper yelled as he stood up instantly and slammed his hands on the table, "Your biggest problem was that you had two dudes fighting over you. Now you are happy, you have a boyfriend, and too many friends to count! I. HAVE. NOTHING."
I felt as if a knife stabbed through me and tore my heart to pieces. It hurt because I knew he was right. He was so painfully right. Still, I did understand. I have seen enough to know the power You-Know-Who has over people. Just because I've been the happiest as I have ever been in my life does not mean I don't know the horrors of being a Death Eater. I have not experienced it myself but I have seen the process of devoting your life to You-Know-Who. It's a true nightmare.
"You have to trust me because I do understand. I- we have seen what You-Know-Who does to people. We have watched our own parents... our once sweet and innocent parents... bow down to You-Know-Who."
I paused to recollect myself and push back the horrid memories that were flooding my mind. I continued.
"We have watched our own parents receive the Dark Mark willingly. I don't know why or what changed them to the dark side, but it happened and it still affects both of us deeply."
The memory still haunted me.
"Yeah, and guess what! Now I'm going to have to go through that same process," he sighed, sitting back down and stressfully running both his hands through his hair.
"Kas, I want you to understand that I am on your side and do understand. I honestly thought you wanted to keep your distance from me. I am here now and I want you to talk to me because I am deeply sorry for not trying to spend time with you."
His fuming rage eventually calmed down but now he appeared frightened. I watched as he slowly laid his head down, his body gently shaking.
"Kas? Kas, talk to me."
I rushed to sit next to him. I knew a panic attack when I saw one. I placed my hand on his shoulder.
"Hey it's okay! Look at me."
I became even more worried when his breathing rate increased.
"Kas, look at me."
When he sat up, tears were forming in his eyes yet his expression was blank. He felt immensely numb, I knew. He felt as if he had nothing. He even said it himself. But he does have someone. He has me, except, I did not do my duty at all. Kasper was going through so much agony, yet all I could think about was myself. I have been so inconsiderate, and I have not even done the bare minimum of just checking up on him. I have been no help. Instead, I left him to suffer all on his own. How could I be so selfish?
I was all he had.
His condition was way worse than I had imagined. Dark circles laid underneath his eyes, he appeared skinnier than usual, and his breathing was rather shaky.
I felt so terrible.
"I'm so so terribly sorry! Please talk to me. I'm so sorry I have been so ignorant."
I put my hand over my mouth as I began to cry. Kasper still would not make eye contact with me, but I could tell his expression softened a little. He still looked incredibly tired as he stared emotionlessly at the table.
I wanted him to say something. Anything.
"Please, I'm listening now," I choked out through tears.
Finally, Kasper made direct eye contact with me, and the pressure of his broken gaze made me feel once again as if a blade was piercing through my chest. It hurt too much that I had the urge to turn away; however, I just couldn't. I couldn't turn my back again. Instead, I gazed back at him with a look of concern, guilt, and regret. I regretted that I was never there to comfort him. I always made it about me.
I was never to make that mistake again.
However, he stared at me with a look that plainly said "help me". I held back the many more tears I was bound to shed.
"Are you really listening?" he asked.
I shook my head yes a dozen times, for I couldn't form words from how much I was crying. I tried my best to hold in my sobs so I could hear what Kasper had to say.
"I have already been given an assignment from You-Know-Who. Once I receive the Dark Mark over the summer, I am to come back to school and complete my mission."
I wanted to ask a million questions, but I was not sure if I really wanted them answered. Of course, my curiosity always took the best of me.
"What are the plans? I asked softly.
"I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"Dark Lord's orders"
What terrible orders could You-Know-Who have possibly given Kasper? After all, he was just a boy.
"But-."
"Because if anyone finds out, You-Know-Who will kill me."
His voice cracked at the end of that sentence as tears of sorrow ran down his cheeks. This time, he appeared truly depressed, and you could clearly see all those months of grief and suffering he battled for so long. He laid his head on my shoulder as he sobbed, and I patted his head as he did so.
That one sentence definitely terrified me, and I had such a hard time processing anything. Kasper could not die. I refused to let such a thing happen. I had to help him. But why was Kasper chosen before me? Why haven't I gotten called to a mission yet? I rather be a Death Eater with Kasper than let him suffer alone. I could not bare the thought of any of it. There had to be some way I could save him.
I got to thinking how I could alleviate the situation.
"What if I let Dumbledore know? He could protect you and offer you a place to stay somewhere."
He sat up as he spoke. "Then You-Know-Who's plans would be revealed, and even if Dumbledore protected me, he would surely die eventually."
"How do you know?" I questioned him.
He paused as if considering my almost accusing statement of wonder.
"He's getting old," was his simple response.
I did not question him any further for maybe he was right. Dumbledore has aged quite a bit and he doesn't get out and about as much as he used to.
"I promise, Kas, that I will do everything in my power to protect you. There has to be a way out of this. You are not alone, for I shall never leave or disregard you like that ever again. It will never happen again."
"It's alright. It is partly my fault for I did purposely distance myself. I hope you can forgive me for going off on you like that."
"I forgive you whole heartedly," I said with red, teary eyes and a sincere smile.
Kasper smiled back as well, and I was relieved when he said he also forgave me.
I will save Kasper and I will find a way.
That was the pledge I made to myself that night and I was to never break it. I may not be able to do much but I will do all I can. I could create a plan over the summer or convince Kasper to run away though I don't know where he would go.
However, as I was coming up with these absurd ideas, I observed as Kasper started to sway and saw as his face turned white as a ghost. And before I knew it, he had lost all consciousness and fainted in his chair.
"KASPER!"
I tried shaking him awake but it did not work. I began to panic drastically.
"SOMEONE HELP!"
"What's going on here?"
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To be continued... dun dun duuunnn. I just love leaving y'all on cliff hangers but this time I won't take three months to update haha.