The talk
We drive for about ten minutes. The air quiet and thick the whole time. Lola takes a left and I suddenly know where we're heading, our spot. When she turns the car off the sudden silence of the engine becomes deafening.
"So, you were a vampire." She starts. Her hands on the steering wheel and eyes facing forward. It comes out as a statement but I still answer it like a question.
"Yup."
"How old are you really? If you don't mind me asking."
"Sixty-nine." I chuckle. "My mom would have had a fit if she heard me answer that. 'A lady never reveals their age.' She was full of all these lady-like rules." I say, remembering fondly.
Lola smiles shyly, looking at me for the first time. "Well, you look good for your age."
I can't help it, I crack up laughing, Lola joining in with me. "I'm the definition of a cougar."
"Nah, you're more a leopard."
We take a moment just smiling to each other.
"I am truly sorry that I didn't tell you but ..."
"You were scared."
I close my eyes and nod. "Yeah, when we first got together, I thought, 'she's better off not knowing that vampires exist.' Then when you told me you were a hunter ... well let's just say a situation like today was what I was nervous of. Plus, I was so afraid of losing you. Less than a year ago you would have killed me on sight. I've had regular nightmares of that the past two weeks. I didn't know what the rules would be for someone like me who was a human turned vampire turned human again."
"It's not something you just say over your morning coffee." She chuckles quietly.
"No, it's not."
"I understand the worry of not knowing how to tell someone about vampires." Lola says, rubbing her hands on her trousers and blowing out a calming breath. "For years I've debated over telling Matty. Not letting anyone else get too close because I hate having this secret. Then I met you and couldn't stop myself from getting closer to you." Lola says, resting the side of her head on the headrest, looking into my soul. "I'd like to say that I wouldn't have killed you on sight when you were a vampire, but I can't. I'm sorry it's causing you nightmares. All I can say is I won't let anyone harm you now." Then she flashes me her cheeky grin and pokes me on the nose. "Although if you piss me off there are no guarantees that I won't off you."
I choke out a laugh, realising that tears are pouring down my face. When did that happen? She wipes her thumbs under my eyes. "I've fallen so in love with you Connie. What I didn't know doesn't change that. It just gives me the chance to learn more about you."
"I love you too."
She leans forward and kisses me. A full of passion kiss. For a few minutes there is only her lips on mine, her hands in my hair. Those sweet lips that just told me she loved me deliciously wrestle with my own. Her tongue sending tingles through my body as it tangles with mine. Oxygen becomes a distant thought in these moments but eventually it always becomes a necessity.
Pulling away she has a look on her face that screams she's thinking of something. "Mrs Dodd's grandmother."
Talk about a turn off. "I know I'm older but I'm not that old."
"Funny. No, when she visited, she thought you were an old student of hers."
I nod, ah, this is where she's going. "That's because I was. Do you remember the story I told you?"
"Yeah. I thought it was creative how quickly you came up with it but a bit full of shit."
I just smile at her, waiting for the truth to sink in and when it does, I chuckle.
She gasps, "So, you never saw your parents again?"
I sigh, getting ready to talk about the difficult topic.
"Once I escaped it wasn't particularly safe. My old Masters were not happy and sent minions after me. There were a few close calls but I refused to go back. Somehow, I was able to stay free. After a few years they stopped chasing me and I was able to look into my family. I went and checked up on them." The memories come flooding back, making me take a moment to gather myself. I haven't been able to talk about my family in over fifty years and it's harder than I thought it would be. "As you can imagine, over twenty years had gone by and I was a vampire that looked the same as the day I was taken. I couldn't bring that on them. I thought they would be better thinking I was dead." I say, remembering the moment that I realised I wouldn't be able to go back to them.
I'd never felt more alone in this life until that moment. Getting back to my family is what got me through that time with the masters. The not aging didn't really hit home until I realised how much time had passed. There were some really low days, especially when I found out about my family.
"Turns out I didn't need to worry." I continue, "My mom had died a few years before and my dad wasn't far off himself. I actually visited him on his death bed. He thought I was an angel come to welcome him to the other side."
It about killed me when I found out my mom had passed away. When I found out my dad wasn't far off himself; I took the risk to sneak into the hospital and see him. He was so thin and sickly but still my dad. I felt like a child and just wanted to bury myself in his once strong arms. He was out of it a little at first, but once he saw me, he wept. I'd never seen him cry before. He thought I was dead and kept apologising for not protecting me.
I couldn't tell him the truth but hope I eased his suffering before he passed.
"At least you got to say goodbye." Lola says with tears in her eyes.
"That's something I'll always be grateful for. I visited their graves after the funeral. Nearly got caught by my brother, I think he knew it was me but I didn't let him see my face. Using my speed to get away. That was one benefit to being a vampire, the speed boost was amazing." I end with a fond smile.
"I still can't get over the fact that you've not gone crazy with blood lust. That's what normally happens after de-vampirization."
"I don't know what to say, I didn't know there was a way to become human again. They make us believe that if our creator dies then so do all of us. Suppose that is just a tactic they use to keep us in line though." I muse. Makes sense though, we knew that if an original vampire was killed his whole line would revert. Why would it be any different for the lower level? If only I'd killed my masters way back then.
"There is a lot about you that is intriguing but then I've thought that from the moment I met you."
"So, it really doesn't bother you that I'm the same age as your grandparents?" I ask, just to make sure.
"The way I see it, you have the body of a teenager with all the wisdom that comes from age. You're the perfect partner. Although you do act more immature than me sometimes."
"I so do not. I was raised to be a lady, one that could work and still keep house."
"I've tasted your cooking; you need a refund." She banters back.
"So, I'm fifty years out of practise, give me a break." I laugh.
We ride the high for a bit before bringing it back down. The rollercoaster of emotions in full force.
Lola twirls a piece of my hair around her finger. "Will you tell me what they did to you?"
I shake my head vehemently. "No. I'll tell you anything from now on, I promise, but I won't tell you that. I can't."
"I just keep imagining all this horrible stuff."
"Trust me on this, you're better off with your imagination. You're too nice to think of those nightmares." My face pulling down into a frown.
"That bad?" I give a wan smile in response. "Can you at least tell me, was it just them forcing you to do horrible things or were horrible things done to you?" She asks with a slight flicker of hope that maybe things could have a positive spin. She was so sweet. I wanted to lie and enforce her slim hope but I couldn't do that.
With a crushing blow I tell her the truth. "Both."
She takes a moment, covering her face with her hands. The look in her eyes when I told her causing tears to form again in mine. With a shuddering breath she uncovers her face and looks to me. Anger and determination steeling on her face. "If I didn't know those A-holes were already dead then I would be out there now hunting them down. Instead, I vow to you that I will do everything in my power to protect you."
"I know. A part of me wants to say that you don't need to but, you look so sexy like this." She snorts, ruining the moment. Then again that was part of my intention. "I love you. Never in a million years did I think I would get to experience this strong a bond. Definitely not in my pre-vamp days or my vamp days for that matter. Life was just about surviving, then one day I meet you. All it took was one smile and I found myself smiling properly for the first time in a very long while."
Lola moves into the back of the car with practised ease, pulling me along with her. Suddenly the talking is not important as we get to know each other on a physical level. Experiencing each other in ways that we've done before but this time feels so much more important.