Bailey
It's our last day as a team. For the seniors, that is. We've just filed through the doors of the pool for the last time, smelt our last taste of unfamiliar chlorine. Listen to announcers announce for the last time. Given Melanie her last punnet of competition strawberries.
It's all so surreal.
I get it now, why Melanie was so scared of letting it all go. I'd give anything to do this forever. To have nothing change. To live in this moment, like it's groundhog day.
But, I guess there must be a reason for why all the good things end. For people to grow up and evolve, I'd think. So you don't feel like you're on the same circuit of events, day after day, year after year.
It doesn't make it any easier, though.
This year has really set my mind into a spin. A scary free-for-all of new emotion, twisting into one, final fate. A fate that can either be believed or denied entry, all resting on Melanie. All resting on whether she believes in the forces pulling us together from far above.
That's probably the most terrifying thing that's happening this year, falling for Melanie Flores. In years just passed, when our status was widely known as nothing more than rivals, I of course saw her as physically beautiful, but it's the other stuff that's made me fall for her. The thoughts inside of her head that she feels safe enough to share with me. The memories that we've created, to fit the two of us uniquely so. The way that the touch of her hand sets my entire body alight, rushing warm blood through all of my functioning organs.
A few years ago I'd read one of my mums trashy women's magazines, that said it's hard to pinpoint exactly when one falls in love. How falling for someone is more of an accumulation of moments, all folded into one emotion, rather than one massive event, like, the big bang for instance. It's apparently impossible to know exactly when you fall, because falling is different for every person, in regard to themselves and the person they're falling for. I've been told that it sneaks up on people, slowly at first, before the realization finally hits them, right in the deepest part of their soul. Their heart will start pounding through their chest, and the when and the how won't matter, only the now.
Good thing it was a trashy magazine, chocked full of absolute nonsense.
I remember exactly when I started to fall for her. When I started to realize I might like her, more than just a frenemy. When I wanted to start doing good to her without reason. When I started wanting to fix my reputation, just for her. It wasn't some Disney movie, coming of age teen movie realization either.
It first started when she met Lucinda for the first time. How her perception of me was so different from how I saw myself, how twisted it seemed.
It was only made worse when I actually started dating Lucinda, when it was Melanie I loved, even if I hadn't admitted it to myself. I was a terrible boyfriend to her, putting my own needs before hers. Although, I'm glad we both decided to split at the same time, so she can find someone that actually deserves her.
It finally hit the brunt of things when she came back from winter break. She'd been so upset at the end of the year after everything went down with the disgusting phenomenon which is Green, rightfully so, but seeing her back, and looking freer than ever struck a chord with me. Seeing her happy made me happy, for reasons I couldn't explain at the time. Something had changed between us during that break, and I knew it the second I'd seen her. I knew just from how frequently I thought about her, how often she wandered into my thoughts. How I'd feel accomplished every time I pulled a little smile out of her, even when she was feeling at a loss. How I started to feel like that if I lost her, I'd loose myself too.
I think that's what love is to me. Feeling like you'd much rather loose sight of yourself, over loosing the person who means the most to you in the whole entire world.
Which is why the ever-looming graduation is blanketing my thoughts of actually graduating.
I still haven't figured out where I'm going next year, and I don't really know what Melly's thinking either. Hell, I haven't even made a move on her yet. And she hasn't made one on me yet.
Which only leads me to feeling more confused than I ever felt I could.
"Hey, Whitlock, you ready?"
My head snaps up from the ground, landing on a Junior guy, Josh. My first race is the Open Freestyle Relay, the first one of the whole meet. I have no idea how long I've been sitting here, staring out to space while freezing my ass off on the cold metal of the bleachers, but judging by the marshalling numbers, I could guess that it's been a while.
"Yeah sure, just give me a second." I stand up from my seat, busying myself zipping and unzipping different compartments of my bag. I pull out my two swim caps and singular pair of goggles, as well as chugging a mouthful of water from my cool bottle. Nodding, I follow Josh down the aisle of seats, my eyes scanning them. Scanning for her, with my analysis hat firmly attached to my head. Just as I'm about to head down the stairs and towards marshalling, her dark head of hair pops up from the floor. I tell Josh to give me a second as I walk quickly towards her, stopping just short as her head snaps in my direction. She looks taken back for a second, but it's not long before she's grinning.
"Sorry for scaring you, I just thought I'd say hi before I went out there."
"You're on now?" she asks, sitting down in her seat. She busies herself with getting something out of her bag, but I can tell she's still listening.
"You'd better cheer for me?" She bites her lip, giggling softly.
"And when have I not?" It's my turn to laugh, but it soon turns into a dramatic gasp as she holds a plastic packet in front of me.
"For me?" she nods towards the open packet of gummy words as I place a hand to my heart. I pretend to sniff, before my hand quickly darts into the packet, knowing I'm probably already late to marshalling. Whatever, marshalling can wait.
"I'll repay you, later." Melanie scoffs, sticking a gummy worm into her mouth to stop any more sound escaping it.
"Just win the fucking race Whitlock." she laughs loudly, shooing me off with her hand.
"Yes ma'am."
At least I'm far enough out of her range so I won't get the worms thrown at me.
...
My chest is heaving as I clamber out of the pool, my gaze instantly moving down the length of the pool. Melanie's just jumped in, and is swimming faster than I've ever seen her swim before. Faster than any of the times that we've raced against each other. It's insane, but a good kind of insane.
As always, the Open Mixed Relay is always scheduled last, meaning heaps of kids have already gone home. As todays meet is at a nearby college, we were able to drive here ourselves, meaning we didn't have to hang around for hours waiting for the meet to finish. Not that that factor helped Melanie or I anyway.
Back to the present moment, where I'm nearly tearing my fingernail off in anxiousness. Melanie and another school are currently neck and neck in the pool, with another 25 metres still to follow. Feeling the adrenaline rush of having just raced my heart out, I cup my hands around my mouth, yelling for her to keep going. Almost as if she can hear me, feel me calling for her, she seems to slam her foot on the accelerator, steam rolling herself right into the wall. As soon as she touches it, I break out with uncontrollable glee, rushing right over to the edge of the blocks. She's looking at the scoreboard with disbelief, her face pressed into a large smile.
"You're amazing, Melly!" I lean down, grasping her hand in mine. She smiles again, leaning her head back against the side of the pool as she attempts to catch her breath. The rest of the team crowds around Melanie again, all yelling their words of congratulations. It takes a few minutes for the commotion to die down, and for the finishing swimmers to exit the pool.
As Melanie swims to the side, I run along the pool deck meeting her halfway. I pull her into my arms as soon as she hauls herself out of the water, hugging her body tight against my own. I feel her chest heaving with emotions, just like a few weeks ago, although this time, I don't even need to ask what's wrong. Because I feel it too. Everything she's feeling, I am too.
Without removing her head from my chest, I guide her up the bleachers and towards where we left our bags. Coach throws me a concerning look when we get there, but I shake it off, knowing it will be better if I don't make this a massive thing.
With our bags in tow, I make my way towards the ghost like changerooms, stopping short when I realize I can't go any further.
"It's fine, there's like, no one here. Just come in." Even though I morally feel like the devil reincarnated, I follow her into the change room, with no need to be told twice.
"Is there anyone in here? A guy is entering for condolence matters, just so everyone is aware!" I yell into the empty, open void, shielding my eyes as I enter the changeroom.
"It's empty, there's no one else here." Melanie sniffs from beside me as she speaks. I pry my fingers from in front of my eyes, taking one last, careful look through my fingers before I confirm the change room is in fact, empty.
I place both Melanie and I's bags down on the first bench I can find, watching as Melanie rips her cap and goggles off of her forehead. She throws them atop of her bag, her legs leading her straight towards the shower. She turns the water on full blast, turning to face the less-than inspiring, plain white tiled wall. I try not to get too close, unknowing of how she's going to react, but I know she needs someone right now, to talk to. I head back to my roots, leaning my shoulder against the cubicle-style shower doorframe, balancing my weight against it.
"Melly, I know you might not want to talk, but I am here to, if you want." she sniffs in response, reluctantly turning around. She stares into my eyes for a long, quiet minute, before she finally answers me.
"I hate this."
"What do you you hate?"
"Things ending. Unpredictability. I don't go well with change, and you're certainly not helping with that-" she goes to turn around again, but stops when I cut her off.
"How have I hindered your state of mind. Tell me, I won't be offended by any points spoken." she gulps slowly, letting the hot water fall over her body.
To my surprise, she steps forward, out of the hot water. She stares me straight in the eyes again, before I feel her hands gripping either of my biceps, pulling me to a standing up position. What she does next surprises me even more, as she leans closer towards me on her tippy-toes, slowly. Her eyes flick from mine to my lips one last time, before closing carefully.
Shit, is this really happening?
I find my own eyes closing as my heart hammers in my chest, almost too loud for me to think. I hear her gasp softly as the gap between us closes, the very edges of our lips brushing together, though, she doesn't pull away. I'm so confused in this moment, desperately needing clarity.
"Melly, what do you want me to do?" I whisper with our lips nearly touching, needing her answer, and urgently.
"Kiss me. I-I want you to kiss me, if you'd like to." That gives me all the information I need, my lips pressing against her less than a second later. She gasps again, and I place my hands at the small of her back to steady her. Her hands move to grip my shoulders as our lips mould together as one, tugging me closer towards her.
I step us backwards slowly, until Melanie's back is pressed against the shower wall. I adjust the shower head above me, until it's spraying right on the both of us, before my hand returns to Melanie's waist, squeezing it teasingly.
"You're not drunk, are you?" I ask suddenly, causing Melanie to giggle a little.
"No, now shut up and let me kiss you before I change my decision."
Again, no need to ask me twice.
I nudge her chin backwards with my own, tilting her head to give me more access to her mouth. She groans in pleasure as I bite the bottom of her lip, her nails digging into the hard muscle in my back. I leave her mouth momentarily, peppering a line of kisses down her neck, focussing extra hard just underneath her jaw. She stifles another moan, instead wrapping her leg around my waist, tightly. I trail my hand down the back of her leg, resting it against the outer side of her thigh.
"Wait, you never told me why you broke up with Lucinda, really." Melanie states suddenly, causing a snort to escape the depths of my throat.
"Is that really what you're thinking about right now? I mustn't be doing a very good job then." I press open mouth kisses to her jaw again, thankfully getting the exact reaction I wanted out of her.
"I just want to know. You never told me, and I want to know. She was lovely, and she seemed perfect for you. Down to earth, beautiful, exactly the type of person to keep you nicely in check."
"Perfectly wrong, maybe." with my kisses still coming in frequently, Melanie starts grinding against my body, causing friction to arise. I stifle a moan, choosing to continue my explanation. She deserves it, after all. "I broke up with her, because she didn't challenge me, not like you do. Because she wasn't you." I stop kissing Melanie temporarily, tilting her chin so she's looking me directly in the eye.
"I broke up with her because she wasn't right for me. Because she wasn't you."
A/n:
hello everyone!
i hope you enjoyed another update of this shit show :)
there's now only 4 more parts left to this story, including the epilogue, so i should get this finished in the next few days
thankyou to everyone whos reading my stories rn, it literally means the world to me <3
lots of love, em xx