cw: language, mention of bullying, fuckboy behavior, bullying, negative self-talk
Back-To-School—
"KUSH!! I know you hear me calling you!" Snoh yelled from the kitchen.
He groaned softly, trying to stay asleep.
But his door opened without permission to ruin that. "You in trouble. I told you, you should've washed them dishes."
"Shut up, Ryélle."
He slowly dragged himself out of bed and went down the hall to the kitchen where his aunt was impatiently waiting.
Ryélle's nosey ass was right behind him and ridiculously happy at the thought of him getting in trouble.
"What, Snoh?" Kush sighed, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion.
"Excuse you?"
"Hey, momma," he corrected.
She scoffed dismissively. "'Hey', my ass. Why all these dishes in my damn sink?"
The phrase 'all these dishes' actually translated to a bowl and a spoon, both left by his younger sister.
He didn't respond as he went to wash them. By hand. As if they didn't have a perfectly good dishwasher, but apparently Black people didn't use those.
"Kush, I'm talking to you," she pressed.
"I heard you," he muttered.
She definitely didn't like that. She smacked the back of his head harshly, but he was too tired to actually process it.
"Ow," he sighed, not at all feeling the pain.
"Boy, you ain't too old to get your ass beat. You better talk to me like you got some damn sense."
"There's dishes in the sink 'cause I ate cereal before I took my nap and didn't feel like washing the bowl right then," he lied, turning to meet her eyes.
Unlike his eleven-year-old sister, Kush didn't like seeing her get in trouble, so despite the way she purposely did shit to fuck with him, he always protected her.
Snoh pushed his head. "Wash them damn dishes."
"I was about to before you started doing too much," he muttered.
"Kush, don't start. I'm not dealing with your shit tonight. Watch your tone."
She left the kitchen as Ryélle went to stand beside him. "Kush?" she called.
He looked up at the ceiling in annoyance and sighed dramatically. "What, Ryélle?" She didn't respond, so he finished his task before looking down at her. "What, Ry?" he asked again.
She opened her mouth to speak before abruptly shutting it again. "Shut up," she scoffed and walked away.
He rolled his eyes and took the trash out before going back to his room.
He flopped face first onto his bed.
"KUSH!!"
"Man, damn!" he huffed, getting right back up to see what his aunt wanted.
He went to her room and peeked his head in the doorway. "Huh?" he whined.
"Ma'am," Snoh corrected.
Kush repeated and she motioned for him to come over. He went to sit on the bed with her, just waiting until he could leave.
"Kush, do you smoke?"
He furrowed his brows. It was a completely random question, not that he had anything to worry about anyway.
He shook his head. "No."
"You sell?"
"No, dude."
"Are you still a virgin?"
Now that one was a problem. What the hell was this? Twenty-one questions?
Fuck no, he thought. "Yeah."
She narrowed her eyes. "You lying to me?"
Hell yeah. "No."
She sighed. "Alright, I believe you. Baby, you'd tell me about it if you were doing all that, right? You wouldn't leave me in the dark?"
And that one made him feel guilty as fuck, but despite that, he lied again.
"Yeah, I tell you everything." Except who I'm fucking, he thought in opposition.
Snoh opened her arms, and Kush moved to lay against her as she held him.
"Okay, I lied. I'm not a virgin, but I'm not telling you who I be with," he blurted, already caving to his own guilt.
She laughed. "I knew you weren't. I found condoms in your room. I'm just glad you wrapping up."
She cradled his head against her chest, discreetly picking up his phone and unlocking it.
"And I'm not stupid. Chloe, Ema, Rayven, and Amber, huh?" she hummed, dropping his phone on the bed. "Is that them? You don't usually save numbers."
"You just went through my messages?"
She shook her head, "Not exactly. I didn't read anything."
"But you went through my drawers," he concluded.
She kissed his head and squeezed him tightly. "Kush, you know I love you, right? I know I'm hard on you, but it's just 'cause I want the best for you, baby."
He nodded. "I know, ma. I love you, too. But mind your business, bruh. I thought you said you was go'n give me space to grow up."
She pouted and hugged him even tighter. By this point, it was getting uncomfortable, but he didn't say anything. He just laid there as her love damn near suffocated him.
"My sweet boy." She kissed him again then finally let go.
That's right. He was her boy. As far as Kush was concerned, Snoh was his mom.
"Can your 'sweet boy' hold a hundred?" he asked, still laying on her.
"Kush, get the hell out my room."
He laughed and got up to go back to his own room. Ryélle was sitting on his bed and called his name as soon as he walked in.
"You supposed to be getting ready to leave. Why you in here?" he asked.
"'Cause I gotta talk to you."
He sighed and sat beside her. "About?"
"There's this guy in my class that—"
"No."
"Kush, let me finish!" she whined.
"Ryélle, I will kick a sixth grader's ass for being even remotely connected to you. You better pick a different topic if you want your crush to live."
"Shut up, Kush! You're so embarrassing! I don't even wanna ask anymore! And he's not my crush!" she insisted with flaming, red cheeks.
She really thought he believed that shit? Why else would you bring up a nigga to your big brother?
"Fine. I'm listening."
She rolled her eyes. "Like I was saying, this guy asked me to go to the Back-To-School Bash with him, and I said 'yeah' 'cause he's cute and popular and that would, obviously, give me cool points. But then all of the other popular kids were laughing at me 'cause it was just a prank."
Her voice broke as she continued. "Then they made fun of my hair, and skin, and glasses, and they were saying I'm ugly-"
He was getting more pissed with every word. If there was one thing he didn't like, it was people messing with his baby sister, especially about her having vitiligo.
"Ryélle, give me a name."
She sniffled and wiped her tears. "You can't fight sixth graders, Kush. You'll go to jail."
"And?"
"And what am I supposed to do without my big brother around?"
He smiled softly and calmed himself, then gently nudged her arm. "I mean, not like you like me too much anyway. You always getting me in trouble."
She played with her fingers, her eyes locked on her own hands. "If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be asking you to come to the dance with me Friday night. I don't wanna go alone, but I don't wanna miss it either."
A horn honked outside.
He kissed his baby sister's head and hugged her tightly. "Yeah, I'll go with you. G'on on before your momma get mad."
"It's my dad today. But she's your mom, too, Kush. Why won't you come home?"
As usual, he dodged the question. The fact that their birth mother abandoned him after his father died wasn't something she needed to know right now. "I am home, Ry. Hurry up and go."
She gave a pitiful look before going to get her bag and instrument from the guest room and running out.
This was all the time Kush ever got with Ryélle. Three and a half hours a day, five days a week. Or at least that's what it would've been, but some days after school he tutored other students, so it was honestly even less than that. And he almost never got to see her on weekends.
But it was only the second week of school, and he wasn't tutoring much yet, so Kush just had to go to sleep and he'd see her again after school the next day.
...—༄
"Kush. I'm leaving, baby. Don't be late," Snoh said, walking into his room the next morning.
He only hummed in response.
She kissed his forehead like she'd been doing every morning before work for the last fourteen years. By this point, he'd probably be upset for the whole day if she forgot it.
A few minutes after she left, Kush got up to get ready for school, but a knock came to the front door before he could finish.
He went to open it, already knowing who it was.
"Nigga, why it always take you so long to get ready?" Darnell asked.
"Maybe 'cause I care to look presentable, Dee. Please, go iron your shirt, bruh."
He zipped his jacket and pulled his hood on. "Don't need to."
Keyonte rolled his eyes and put on a dark blue hoodie, a white durag, and a matching pair of Jordan 13's.
"Bruh, you can't convince me that you be tryna look presentable when you wear a durag with your hood on every day."
"But I look good."
He slung his bag over his shoulder then grabbed his house key and a Pop-Tart from the kitchen. Darnell grabbed one, too, before they walked out.
"Aight, so look. Friday night—" Dee started.
Kush instantly interrupted. "Can't do it. Ryélle want me to go to this school dance with her."
Dee smacked his lips. "Man, okay, whatever. When that end?" He shrugged. "Well, whenever it does, I need you to come to this party with me and be my wingman."
"You know I don't like parties like that, bruh. Shit always popping off. Ask Baby."
Dee groaned as they stopped outside of the boy in question's house. "No, bruh. Baby don't know how to be a wingman."
"Nigga, I'm a great wingman. What you mean?" London replied, coming out his front door.
"Bruh, you don't even help. You just sit there and look. How the fuck it that a wingman?"
They continued on their way to school as Dee and Baby argued about how he was or wasn't a good wingman.
They stopped again to wait for Leo—his mom was yelling at him on his way out like always. He sighed and dapped up Kush as the journey continued.
"The fuck wrong with them?" he asked.
Keyonte shrugged and shook his head. "It's Baby and Dee. Why you surprised?"
He nodded and took the other pastry. "You right."
Kush scoffed and gave a disapproving look. "Wow, so you just go'n colonize my Pop-Tart?"
Leo laughed. "Shut up, bruh."
"Yes, massa. I's real sorry."
"Kush."
"Massa."
"Keyonte."
Kush furrowed his brows. "Pause. You ain't gotta put my government on blast, Leonard."
Dee instantly laughed. "That nigga name Leonard."
"Fool, yo' middle name Le'shay. Enough said," Leo replied.
Kush and Baby couldn't help but laugh.
"London Royale, I know you ain't laughing with that pretty ass name. Then got the nerve to have a nickname like Baby. Shut yo' bitch ass up," Darnell snapped.
"First of all, my nickname is Baby Face. Y'all just lazy as fuck and don't say the whole thing, and anyway, you ain't got no room to be calling nobody a bitch, Le'shay. Pussy ass nigga, get the fuck out my face," London replied.
Kush laughed harder, and they all looked at him. He held his hands up in innocence. "Y'all can't say shit about my real name or my nickname 'cause both of them hoes hard."
"Only 'cause we don't know your middle name. We been friends since forever, and you still won't tell us?" Baby scoffed as they all agreed that Kush was a terrible friend.
He shrugged, "I don't have a middle name. If I had my birth certificate, I'd show it to y'all."
"Yo' momma ain't got it?" Leo asked.
He shook his head, "Nope. It's probably with Ryélle momma if she ain't burn it."
"Fuck it," Dee shrugged. "Either way it go, you a bitch, so shut up, dimples."
"Nigga, I got one dimple, and it make the bitches go crazy. You just mad you ain't got none, and you got a bitch name, crazy," Kush snapped, making Leo and Baby laugh wildly.
"Oh, shit! He really just hit yo' ass. Punk ass li'l boy," London laughed.
That comment immediately sparked another round of playful insults as they walked on campus, but as expected, they got interrupted by people trying to talk to them.
None of them would necessarily say they were popular, but they were definitely known around campus.
It wasn't like they did anything special to get that way. None of them played sports, they were all in honors classes—but weren't exceptionally smart, and they definitely weren't the type that tried to be popular.
They were just four good-looking, goofy ass friends that everybody liked to be around. And now that it was their last year, they were getting even more attention than before.
"Kush, Baby, come take a picture with us!" a group of girls called. Dee and Leo were low-key trapped against their lockers by another group.
After a bunch of pictures and talking, they went to their first classes.
Keyonte's wasn't actually a class. He had a free period, so he tutored in the library. But since school had just started not too long ago, he wasn't expecting anybody to come in. So he put his head down to go to sleep.
A girl walked in and sat at the table with him. "Excuse me. Are you Keyonte?"
He lifted his head, to see her. Her cheeks were rosy, brown freckles littered her face. She had straight brown hair and dark eyes to match. Your everyday, cute, white girl.
She wasn't at all his type.
"Yeah, call me 'Kush', though. What's up?"
"Do you tutor for science, too, or just math?" she asked.
"Technically, I'm just math, but I can try to help anyway since you already here. What science you taking?"
She furrowed her brows and pulled out her binder. "Uh... Whichever one juniors take?"
"What kinda classes you in?"
"Honors."
He nodded, "Your teacher been talking about the periodic table and chemical bonds, or whatever?"
"We've been talking about ions."
"Same thing. You in chemistry. You'll get to that other stuff I was saying later. But you free now for tutoring, or do you wanna do lunch, or after school?"
"I mean, I wanna say I can do it now, but I don't know if I'll be able to focus if you're the one tutoring me." She met his eyes with a flirty look in her own. "I was expecting some weird, nerdy kid, and you're not..."
"Weird or nerdy?" he finished. "You genuinely thought I would be when you heard a name like 'Keyonte'?"
She shook her head. "Not really, but I was trying not to get my hopes up just incase. But you're hot, so now, it doesn't matter."
He couldn't help smirking a little. What could he say? He liked compliments.
"Thanks."
"That smirk tells me you already knew that."
He shrugged, playing with the pencil he'd taken from her notebook without her noticing. "I mean, you not the first person to tell me. After a while, you get a li'l ego boost."
"When did you...?"
He looked at the pencil before meeting her eyes again. "You watching me too close. It's easy to take something from your blind spot when I know where your focus is."
"Mmh..." She leaned her elbow on the table, resting her head in her hand. "That seems like it's a little more complicated than you're making it seem."
He smirked softly and shook his head.
"Focus on it." He tossed the pencil high in the air. She was watching until he took her hand and kissed her knuckles, simultaneously catching the pencil.
With her eyes locked on his, he easily put it back on the page in her binder that he'd originally taken it from.
"You get it now?" he asked as he let go of her hand.
She furrowed her brows and looked down in confusion then back at him. "Misdirection?" she asked with a small smile.
He nodded.
Her smile widened. "Wow... I guess I just didn't expect the guy with piercings and a slit in his brow to be smart, too. That makes you hotter."
She reached across the table to take his hand again, and Kush stared at the unwanted contact silently. She was getting entirely too comfortable for him.
It was obvious she was coming on to him, but he wasn't the same.
He flirted a lot, but it didn't mean he liked someone. Usually, he was just bored. And this time he wasn't even flirting, he just wanted to prove a point.
His only focus was getting his money. "So about tutoring, you still wanna do it?" he asked, pulling his hand away.
She smirked. "Yeah, after school."
Aw, hell. She just wanna touch my private parts, he thought with a small laugh. "Aight, I charge fifteen a hour, and you gotta come to my house 'cause I don't have a car and I can't leave my li'l sister alone anyway."
She looked somewhat shocked that he'd kept it professional. "Oh. Okay, cool. So I'll see you after school then?"
He nodded, "Give me your number."
She blushed softly before telling him.
He went to type her name but realized he had no idea what it was. He met her eyes again, "I'm so sorry. I never asked what your name was."
"India," she replied.
He nodded and typed her name then texted her his own. The bell rang, and he got up.
He spoke without facing her as he walked out. "I'll text you where to meet after fifth."
He looked over his shoulder and caught her staring, so being the flirt he was, he winked. Her face flushed red, and he couldn't help but laugh.
But karma came back to him quick for fucking with her.
He opened the library door and accidentally knocked down another girl, who was just walking up to it.
"Ow, what the hell?"
Kush stood there staring at her like an idiot.
She was wearing a skirt. Her gorgeous, thick, brown thighs were practically spilling out of it. White crew socks contrasted her skin tone and drew his eyes to the blue and white Jordan 13's she wore that matched his.
His eyes wandered back up towards her head. She had beautifully relaxed, black hair that she'd wand curled before school that morning, long natural eyelashes, big glasses—though not as big as Ryélle's—and breathtakingly soft, plump lips that Kush needed to feel against his own.
She met his eyes then glared viciously. "Are you gonna help me up or keep staring like an idiot?" she growled.
That snapped him back to reality.
"Shit. My fault."
He reached to help her up and fell right back into his trance. I mean, she was drop dead gorgeous. He couldn't help it.
She raised an eyebrow. "What, Kush?"
That instantly brought him back again. "We know each other?"
"No, but everybody knows you." She pushed passed him and went in the library just as Leo walked up.
"Why you just standing here?"
"Uh... Nothing, I'm trippin'. Let's go," Keyonte replied as they headed to their next class.
...—༄
"Wait, so why we waiting?" Baby asked.
It was the end of the day, and Kush was waiting for India. Why they were waiting, he had no clue.
"'Cause Kush waiting on a girl," Dee replied.
"She bad?" he asked.
Leo sighed in annoyance. "That's what we waiting to find out, dumbass."
London's pride was hurt by that comment, so he just pouted quietly.
After a while he started chewing his bottom lip—an anxious habit he'd picked up when he thought he'd fail last year and was now trying to break.
Kush glanced at him and hit his arm. "Stop."
"Damn," he sighed. He pouted again, this time dramatically poking his bottom lip out, so he wouldn't bite it anymore.
Kush was texting Ryélle to let her know they'd be on the way soon when small feet stopped right in front of him. He looked up from the screen and saw India. "Bet, let's go."
She looked at his friends in confusion. "Uh... Who are they?"
Kush looked at his friends and smirked. "You thought it was just me? We do gang bangs on Only Fans, you getting kidnapped and fucked every day until we get tired of you. And don't try to run 'cause you not getting away from us."
India's face went pale, "What?"
He snickered making the boys laugh, too. "I'm fucking with you. That's Dee, Leo, and Baby. Y'all, this India."
She smiled lightly, still unsure if she could trust them.
As the walk went on, she started to relax and even joked around with the boys.
They made it to Ryélle's school, which was right around the corner, and waited on the benches at the front for her to come out from band practice.
There were four benches in total—two facing two more on either side—so the boys each got one to themselves like always, but since India was with them, Kush couldn't lie down like the others.
"Uh... Why are we at a middle school?" India asked.
"Didn't he tell you we kidnappers?" Baby asked, closing his eyes.
"Okay, that's seriously not funny. Why are we here?" she asked again.
"We had our eye on this cute li'l sixth grader. She in band, so you know she like to blow on shit," Leonard continued.
She looked at Kush in fear then quickly got up. He grabbed her wrist without even looking up from his phone.
"We here to pick up my li'l sister. Relax. And Leo, joke or not, we talking about my baby. Don't make me beat yo' ass." He lifted his eyes to meet his best friend's for a moment—a calm, but terrifying, warning.
"My fault," Leo apologized.
India sat back down. "Y'all are assholes."
"We know. And you sitting with the meanest one of us all," Darnell replied.
Kush rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Dee."
"See?" he laughed.
The doors opened, and the group quickly got out of the way as the middle schoolers started to flood out.
They headed over to the big oak tree to watch for Ry, but even if they didn't spot her, she knew where to meet them.
But after waiting ten minutes, they still hadn't seen her.
"That's Ry?" London asked, dropping his bag.
The rest of the boys blindly followed his lead, leaving India to wait, until they noticed what was happening.
Some dickhead took Ryélle's glasses off her face, and not only were they expensive, but the girl couldn't see for shit without them. She was squinting so hard, her eyes were damn near closed.
The boy taunting her, along with the other students, laughed at another wrong answer she gave. "Okay, now what am I holding up?" he asked.
London, grabbed the boy by his shirt and lifted him of the ground, pinning him to the wall. "How 'bout you tell me what I'm holding up?" he asked.
Keyonte took his sister's glasses back and cleaned the lenses before putting them back on her face.
"Kush—"
He cut her off as he picked up her clarinet case. "Come on."
He looked back at his friend who was still manhandling a now sobbing child. He sighed, letting Leo and Dee take his sister while he went to calm Baby.
He put a hand on the boy's shoulder and spoke calmly. "Baby, let go."
"Get the hell off me, Kush. This mu'fucker gone tell me why he fucking with Ry."
"Baby. We gotta go."
London looked at his friend with a clenched jaw then sighed and let the kid go. "You got lucky, bitch," he muttered.
They caught up to the rest of the group and got their stuff before heading home. The boys split off to go to their houses as the girls followed Kush to his.
"Ry, you okay?" he asked.
She nodded quietly.
He unlocked the front door, and they all went inside. Ryélle went straight to the guest room.
"Uh, you can just chill on the couch or something. I'll be back," Kush said to India before going to check on his sister.
He knocked on the door and walked in. "Ry?"
She instantly burst into tears and ran to hug him. He held her tightly, not even knowing where to start to cheer her up.
"Kush, am I ugly?" she asked softly.
He furrowed his brows as he closed the door. "What? No, Ry, why would you think that?"
"'Cause I look like a brown cow, and my hair's always messy, and I got these big ass Harry Potter glasses—"
He couldn't help bursting into laughter.
"Kush!" she whined.
He snickered, "I'm sorry. That shit was funny."
"I'm being serious," she pouted.
He wiped her tears. "No, Ry, you not ugly. It ain't nothing wrong with you having vitiligo. If anything, it makes you more beautiful. And yeah, yo' glasses big as fuck, but they Ray-Bans for one, so who gives a fuck. Can't none of them ugly ass kids afford that shit. And for two, they just make those pretty blue eyes more noticeable. You're gorgeous, Ryélle. Quit letting them weak ass kids break you down."
She sniffled and nodded as she put her hands in his hoodie pockets, something she always found comfort in. "Thanks... I love you, Kush."
"I love you, too, Ry."
"Can I have this? It'll make me feel better," she asked, tugging at his hoodie. It was the exact reason she found comfort in placing her hands in his pockets.
He smacked his lips and took it off. "Fucking thief."
She smiled as she robbed him. "Thanks, Kush."
"Yeah, yeah," he sighed.
He went back to the living room to find India looking at the shelf of pictures. She picked one up to look at it more closely.
"You ready?" he called.
She flinched hard and quickly set the frame down. She turned to face him with a worried expression. "Kush... I was just-"
"Looking at my baby pictures, I know." He sat on the couch, and she quickly joined him.
"Um... You were a cute kid."
"Still am. What you need help with?"
She laughed and pulled out the worksheet she'd gotten in class. "Someone's cocky."
"You been looking at my print?"
She furrowed her brows. "Wait, what?"
"Huh?"
"Kush—"
He picked up the sheet and cut her off. "Balancing chemical reactions, I think I still remember how to do this."
"Kush," she called again.
He looked at her and smiled briefly. "Yes?"
She rolled her eyes. "Never mind. Let's just do this worksheet before I lose my mind."
He chuckled softly and helped her through her homework. They ended up taking a full hour to finish.
And when they did, India hugged Kush excitedly. "Thank you! I actually understand it now."
"All good."
She sent the money through Cash App just as Snoh walked in.
She looked at India then Keyonte. "Kush? Who the hell is this?"
India smiled nervously. "I'm—"
Snoh instantly cut her off. "I don't believe I asked you. I'm talking to my son. Kush. You got ten seconds."
"She a junior that needed chemistry tutoring," he explained.
"Y'all done?" He nodded. She tossed him her keys. "Good. Take her home and go get whatever you need from the store. You cooking tonight."
He got up and looked at India. "I'm'a go change real quick then we can go." She nodded quietly as Kush grabbed his mom and dragged her to her room.
"You scaring my money," he said after closing the door.
She scrunched her face. "What?"
"I charge fifteen a hour for tutoring. If you scare her, that's one less client I'ma have."
She scoffed, "Whatever, boy. You better not fuck that li'l girl in my house."
"I don't like White girls, ma. I'm not doing that no matter where we at," he replied.
She grabbed his face and kissed his cheek. "That's right, baby. They not good enough for you. Get you a Black queen like your momma."
"I mean, yeah, but I like hispanic girls, too, so that's kinda prejudice."
"Don't care. As long as they ain't White. I don't like White folks," she replied, taking off her shoes and sitting on her bed.
He raised an eyebrow. "What about Leo? He White."
"You leave my baby out of this. He just missing his pigment," she defended.
Kush shook his head, "Nope, he definitely White."
"That boy is Korean."
He furrowed his brows. "What? See, now you just talking. Leo is White."
She shook her head. "Baby, have you ever looked at Leo?"
"Yes, and I looked at his parents, too. Ma, you know his parents—"
She cut him off. "I know his momma, and his momma's husband. But that man ain't Leo daddy."
He laughed. "You finna blow me. Leo the third born and his parents been together since before they had his brothers."
"Oh, I know. You ever notice how Leo don't look like his brothers? Or his 'daddy' for that matter. Mr. Wilson is not Leonard's dad."
"So what you saying? Mrs. Wilson cheated?" She didn't say anything else. His eyes widened, "Ma... You deadass?"
"G'on take that li'l girl home," she replied.
"We talking about this when I get back."
He went to his room and changed before heading back to the living room where India was patiently waiting.
"Aight, let's go."
Rolling...—༄