"i think we should take a break"
"from us...?"
"i need some space... so i can figure myself out. there's so much going on i-i... i need time"
"i guess, um... that's goodbye then"
"not forever"
"....we'll see"
it's been a few months since the spilt. after a glorious year together around the sun with him, matthew called it quits & never gave you the full reason why. you still felt some anger towards him for that because you deserved to know why he needed space, why he wanted to end things & what was keeping him from being with you. you just wanted the truth, even now despite how long it's been since you've talked. you thought you moved on, deciding to take the time for yourself & to focus on you, but matthew had a way of always sneaking into your mind.
if matthew were to say in front of a court that he hadn't thought about you everyday, he would be charged for perjury. the man still loved you & thought about you at night, wishing he hadn't been so stupid & blinded by his fears— because he ruined the best thing in his life. he regretted not telling you the truth about what he does beside being a lawyer & he regretted his fear of opening himself up to you, fully. but sadly he can't go back in time to fix that & matthew knew he had to fight to get you back.
after spending many nights awake, thinking of how he could fix things, matthew decided to come to your apartment the next day in hopes that you were there. as he stood outside your apartment door with his white cane in hand, he got the courage after a few moments to knock. he waited impatiently for a few seconds until he heard your muffled voice say, "one minute!". matthew felt his heart stop at the sound of your voice, it made him feel tingly all throughout his body & his throat went dry out of nervousness.
once the door was opened, you looked at him with a shocked gaze, unsure of what to say or do. you didn't expect him to show up unannounced— or even show up at all. so you just stood there in the door way, clutching the door while looking at the man you once loved with uncertainty. he hadn't changed much since the last time you saw him, he still looked like the same old matthew murdock. but you could tell he had something on his mind & you secretly hoped he would say it sooner rather than later.
"why are you, uh... here?" you asked quietly, seeing him gulp before responding.
"i came to apologize" he said in the same tone as you, making you scoff at him.
"there's no point. you should just go—" you told him before trying to shut the door.
"i'm daredevil" matthew said, stopping the door from closing with his shoe, making you peak at him with a curious look.
"what do you mean?" you asked carefully in case he was just saying bullshit.
"can i come in so we can talk... please y/n" he begged & you gave in, opening the door wider so he could come inside.
despite how much anger & saddness you felt towards him, you knew you would never be able to not give into matthew. after all this time, you still loved him & you couldn't help it.
"is that why you would have explainable bruises & cuts?" you asked as you sat on your couch, too afraid to look up at him, so you settled with looking at your fidgeting fingers.
"yes" matthew replied, taking the masked helmet from behind his back & holding it in front of him before placing it on the coffee table in front of you.
gazing at the helmet, you now knew that he was telling the truth. you felt relieved at the fact that he wasn't cheating or doing one of the cliche reasons that would cause a break up, but you were unsure of how to feel when thinking about him as a vigilante.
"how do you do it?"
"my other senses... they are i guess more heightened, replacing my sight since i can't you know... see. i had training after my dad died, it's where i learned everything & i still train, just on my own" he explained, hoping you'd be able to understand.
"i still don't get it" you told him, shaking your head.
"i can hear your heartbeat, it's beating faster than normal. i can smell the indian food your neighbours seven doors down are eating. i can hear people screaming song lyrics from that club ten blocks away. i can tell that you're fidgeting with your fingers & you're not looking at me" he proved himself, making you exhale a sharp breath.
"how long have you been... daredevil for?" you asked him.
"after foggy & i's practice opened... so a little before i met you" he said truthfully, hearing you take in a sharp breath after he spoke.
"you should've told me" you said with a strained voice, trying not to get emotional over his confession but you couldn't help it.
"we... we could've figured something out— i deserved to know— why... why didn't you just tell me" you rambled to him, eventually letting your emotions get the best of you.
crouching in front of you, matthew held his own composure & placed a careful hand on top of yours, surprised you didn't shake his touch away.
"i needed to protect you & i didn't want you to get hurt... i wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to you because of me" matthew told you, his heart strings pulling when he heard you silently letting tears fall onto your skin.
"i thought i was doing what was best for you"
finally looking at him, you bit your lip to keep you from crying more & you sighed at his words. the feeling of relief & pent up saddness overwhelmed you in the moment. you knew matthew meant well & wanted what was best for you, but it still ended up hurting you.
"i'm sorry y/n, i'm so sorry" matthew said, allowing himself to open his emotional self up to you so he could let a few tears of his own fall.
he didn't realize how much he missed you until he was crouched in front of you & all he wanted to do was to take you into his arms. he wanted you back, but only if you wanted him too.
"i don't care that you're daredevil matt" you said in between deep breaths. "i-i... i just need you to be careful because i don't... i don't want to lose you somehow" you admitted to him, squeezing his hand tightly like you were afraid he'd leave.
"you won't lose me, not again. i promise" he whispered to you lovingly, reaching his other hand to hold your cheek, making you lean into his comforting touch.
"i'm still mad that you didn't tell me" you said with a small laugh to lighten up the depressing mood, hearing matthew let out a small laugh as well.
"you can be mad as long as you need to be, i just want you back"
standing up & pulling him up with you, you leaned up to hug matthew tightly, needing to be in his arms again. he immediately hugged back, rubbing your back with one hand while holding the back of your head with the other. the familiar touch you thought you'd forgot made tears fall from your eyes once more, but this time they landed on matthew's shirt.
"you need to be honest with me from now on" you told him, laying down an important condition for the future.
"i know. i'll be better for you, love" matthew promised, taking your face into his hands to hold you closer to him.
with foreheads touching lovingly, you & matthew both felt happier than you've been in ages.
"i still love you" you told him quietly, seeing him smile at your words.
"i never stopped loving you, sweetheart"