The sound of Jamie's alarm going off at 5:30 AM made Bucky aware that he hadn't gotten any sleep at all last night. Rolling over onto his side before sitting up he was careful to not disturb Alpine who was curled up on his pillow. Leaning his back against the window seat he huffed out an exhausted breath as the sounds of her footsteps moved from the bed to the bathroom then to her closet. She must have an early photoshoot today, he thought to himself. In the little time he'd gotten to know her he knew if she could she would like to sleep in. Being up this early meant she had a job.
He sat quietly in his room as she walked into the hall and passed his door to her development room. The heels of her boots lighty clicked on the hardwood floors as she tried to not wake him up. Listening in amusement as she mumbled to herself as she packed up the camera's and other equipment she would need. He waited like a coward until the sound of the front door closed and the locks could be heard before he left his room to make himself a large pot of extra strong coffee. Not that it would do him any good, but at least it was something to do.
Unsure when she would be back, Buck decided that it was probably a good idea for him to get out of the apartment for a while. Maybe after he checked in at the Tower he would go see if Yori wanted to have lunch. Maybe today would be the day that he told that poor man the truth about his son's death..
After a quick breakfast of oatmeal and fruit he went back to his room to get dressed and pack up Alpine. If he was going to be gone all day he didn't want to leave her alone in this big apartment all by herself. Staring down at the peacefully sleeping feline he hated to wake her up, but if he was being honest with himself he wanted her close today. Crouching down Bucky gently petted her silky soft white fur. "Ally, come on, sweetheart. Time to get up, we're going on a field trip."
At her indignant meow she stretched as she let out a big yawn, he smiled fondly at her. Looking up at him with her big bright blue eyes as if to say, 'If I must', Alpine got up to bump her head into his hand for more pets.
"Good girl, come on." Picking her up, Bucky placed her in the little backpack carrier that had been a part of Jamie's other surprise the day he moved in. She'd bought the carrier, toys, treats and all manner of other stuff for the kitten that they would need. Grabbing his gym bag he slung it over his shoulder as he carefully lifted Alpine up and onto the other.
Making sure the apartment was locked up he made his way downstairs. This early he didn't have to worry about neighbors filling up the small space of the elevator on their way to work and school. Thankful for this small reprieve he stood there with his eyes closed thinking about what he was going to do with his developing feelings for Jamie. Bucky could be friends with her. It would be hard for a while, but he thought that he could do it. Maybe he could talk to Dr Rayner about it? Yeah, no way in hell was he going to do that.
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It was nearly 7:30 AM when Steve drug a reluctant Sam into the gym complaining about it being too early to workout. "Stop complaining. You have to admit that working out first thing gets you pumped for the rest of the day."
Mumbling that he'd get him back for the rude wakeup call Sam's ears picked up the soft grunt's and the clink of a machine before seeing the fluffy white ball of fluff that belonged to Bucky. "Buck, what are you doing here so early?"
The clink of the weight bar as the super soldier set it back in place was as quiet as the man who was holding it. Sitting up, Bucky's tired eyes shifted over to his friends. "What's it look like I'm doing, Wilson?"
"Come on, Buck, don't be like that." Steve says leaning down to pick up the kitten to pet her much to her pleasure. Her purring was surprisingly loud for something so small. Sighing he stood up, wiped down the bench and strode over to grab the roll of tape to wrap his hand that was on the bench near his gym bag. Keeping his eyes on his task he apologized.
"Sorry, I didn't sleep last night. I'd have used the gym in our building, but they don't have weights that are super soldier approved." Steve shared a commiserating look with him as he settled on the now empty weight bench. The Avengers gym was the only place where they could get any kind of decent workout equipment that could give them even a little bit of the real thing. When you could lift cars that weighed tons the standard gym equipment wasn't going to cut it.
"Nightmares again?" Sam asked coming over to take the tape once Bucky was done with it. The other man shook his head as he got into position in front of the heavy bag.
"I would have had to actually fall asleep to be able to have one. Just couldn't get my mind to quiet down." Throwing a punch Buck worked himself up to a good sequence of combinations. Right, left. Right, right, left, right. Coming over to hold the bag Sam nodded, "I get that. Happens to me too sometimes."
For a while they worked out in mostly comfortable silence until more people came in. Having been at it since just after 6 AM Bucky called it for the day. He didn't want Alpine to get stepped on and he needed a shower. Asking the guys to watch her and if he could use Steve's room to shower. "Sure thing, Cyborg. Let's get this little lady some water. Did you bring any food for her?"
Thanking them he said, "Yeah, in her bag. I'll meet you guys in the living room in twenty minutes." Handing over her bag he grabbed his gym bag after tossing the used hand wraps in the trash. They took the elevator together going their separate ways in the kitchen area.
Making quick work of his shower Bucky dried off and got dressed hurrying back to his girl. Striding into the living room he stopped, chuckling at the sight of not only Steve and Sam playing with the kitten but Vision tickling her tummy as he cooed at her. Catching his eye the other two men tap out to go get cleaned up as Natasha and Wanda come in. The younger woman sat down next to her boyfriend. "Is this the kitten Jamie had Tony get you?
At the mention of her his smile faded a little before he caught himself. "Yeah, this is Alpine."
At the sound of him saying her name with a lighter tone than usual her blue eyes shifted towards him as if she was checking that he was okay. Briefly scratching behind Alpine's ears Natasha sat down next to him. "Hey buck up. Jamie will be back by the end of next weekend."
Panic filled him at her declaration causing him to sit up straight. Jamie had left and hadn't said anything to him. Steve hadn't said anything so that meant that he must not know she'd taken off either. "What? What do you mean she'll be back, where did she go?"
Furrowing her eyebrows Natasha assessed his interesting reaction before answering. Seeing more than he wanted she gave him a small smile.
"Jamie took a last minute job back home in Portland, Oregon. After what happened last night she just needs some space to think. She also wanted to catch up with some friends and family that still live there." Searching his mind he tried to remember if Jamie had left a note telling him that she was leaving, but he didn't remember seeing anything anywhere. Reaching a hand out she set it on the cushion between them. "She didn't mean anything by just leaving. You gotta remember, Jamie hasn't had to answer to anyone for a long time and from what I know of her she didn't answer to anyone before I met her."
Huffing out a little laugh Bucky let a half grin briefly cross his face. That was an understatement if he ever heard one. Jamie Dorsey was a headstrong individual who seemed sure of everything she did. He understood that the last few years had been hard on her, but she hadn't let that stop her from living even if it felt like a half life. "When you talked to her did she sound okay?" What he really wanted to ask was, did she mention me at all?
Knowing that he meant the redhead gave him a stoic expression as she took her hand back to set it on her lap. "You mean did she mention the way you shut her out and wonder why? Yes, yes she did. Jamie seems tough. And she is, don't get me wrong, but when you've been collected into her coveted inner circle she loves you fast and hard. You understand what I mean?"
He knew exactly what she meant because that's how he felt about Jamie. Maybe in a different way than she felt for him, but he'd never let anyone get as close as he let her before. Not even back before Hydra ever got their hands on him. "I do."
Standing up she looked down at him thinking about what she wanted to say for a second. "Then maybe you should send her a text or something to let her know you guys are alright. Set her mind at ease so that's one less worry she has to carry." Nodding he tells her he'll do that.
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Meeting up with Charles Fletcher was a little nerve-wracking because he was Thomas' best friend and he had to have heard about last night. Jamie had met Tom through Charlie nearly four years ago at a party at their place. The two men had grown up together in London and when Thomas' family had moved to the States when he was fifteen they'd kept in touch. Reconnecting when Charlie came over for college where he met Jamie three years later. Feeling like the two would be a good match he'd invited her over one night and the rest, as they say, was history.
Jamie and Thomas had instant chemistry between them. So much so that from the moment they met until four months later they had spent every waking minute together. Then came the first hiccup. He wanted exclusivity. She had been fine with that, but with that came labels and expectations and she wasn't ready for that. So they broke up for a while before reconnecting almost a year later. It was more of the same thing. They would be doing so well and then the moment he wanted to get serious she'd bolt until eight months ago when Thomas had had enough. He told Jamie that unless she was for real he couldn't do this anymore. He wanted to settle down, get married and have kids one day soon and when he pictured that future he saw her by his side.
When she hadn't given him the answer he wanted he'd walked away. Not because he wanted to but to give her time to think. Then the final battle with Thanos happened and everyone came back causing chaos for the city. As a New York police detective he had his hands busy while she was catching up and dealing with her own thing. After her falling out with Steve and having everyone back it seemed like fate was telling her to jump at this man's offer when she ran into him in the park this past December. This time she told him she wanted to try, but they'd have to go slowly.
Jamie laid out everything to Thomas about what happened with Steve, minus them sleeping together and that she was having a hard time. She wanted to be completely honest with him. To hold nothing back from him that he needed to know so that he understood that she was really trying this time. For the most part the last two months have been so good. Not as fulfilling without her other best friend in her life, but she'd been making it work. And Thomas, he helped support her as best as he could but he couldn't be there for her all of the time. His job just didn't allow for it, just like the Avengers he had a whole city of people who needed his help.
So when she'd gotten Charlie's text the night before she'd been surprised that he was offering her a job even if it was being asked as a favor. Things between the friends had become strained with her flip flopping back and forth on his best friend. Jamie of course understood if he wanted nothing to do with her. That didn't happen though. Instead they'd had several conversations about why she was so afraid of committing to Thomas. It came down to the fact that she was afraid of committing and then losing him. Whether that be from a bullet on the job or him walking out the door, she just couldn't stand the thought of it.
It had been with Charlie's advice since she didn't have Steve there that she had even entertained the idea of doing this for real with Thomas. She wanted to have someone to love and be loved by. To come home to every night. But after yesterday he had her seriously thinking that he might not be the one to be that person with her. And now she was confused by Steve's confession about his feelings for her. It had seemed so far-fetched, but the longer Jamie thought about it the more the signs were all there.
All of the times he'd drop everything to rush to her side at a moment's notice. The endless days and nights of helping her through her nightmares and mood swings. Then there was the day he saved her from killing herself so she could be with Mathew, Peter and May again...Steve had been so scared and angry at her. Jamie had never seen Steve like that before. Once he made sure she was okay he'd taken her with him to the Compound so that she'd be monitored 24/7 and got her the help she needed. When Dr Kent finally cleared her to go home he'd moved in with her for almost four months just to help her function and get back to a normal routine. That was more than friendship and he'd only known her for less than three months at the time. That meant that he'd loved her for almost the entirety of the time he's known her.
She would ask how she hadn't seen it, but she had been so caught up in her own grief that she'd had blinders on to anything outside of that. Eventually when she'd found her new normal she was able to be there for him in the way that she could at the time. As time went on their relationship evolved from just friendship to something more they just never spoke about it. But when she met Thomas she felt for the first time like maybe she could stand up on her own two feet.
Jamie knew at the time that Steve was hurt that she was pulling away, but he was happy for her if she was happy. So every time she and Thomas broke up she would put all of her time and effort back into Steve as a way to make up for unintentionally pushing him away. Then one day things had culminated beyond friendship into a more physical connection between them. It only happened a few times and they never really spoke about it. It had just been something that they both needed or so she thought. As she was lost in thought about the past the pilot came on to announce that their flight was about to land and they needed to buckle up. Smiling over at her, Charlie asked, "Are you excited to be back home for a bit?"
Gripping his hand as the plane made its descent she let out a breathless laugh. "Actually yeah. It's been a while since I've been back here. Once we're done with the shoot if you're cool to stick around for a while I can show you all my old haunts."
Squeezing her hand for moral support at her fear of flying he told her, "I'm here all week so you've got me all to yourself after all my pointless meetings are done each day." A moment later he added. "You know, this was actually Tom's idea." Looking over at him in shock she demanded to know why. "He's sorry for being a bloody idiot and ruining your birthday. Also he happened to mention you might be interested in taking a break from New York to clear your head."
At her sigh and closed off expression Charlie lifted her hand to kiss the back of her fist. "I'm not trying to be on his side because I think he was being a right twat for what he did and how he did it, so I agreed to his plan. Also you really are doing me a favor, love. Kenneth Trudeau is an absolute wanker in comparison to you so if I could snatch you for my campaign I had to."
Laughing at his completely correct description of one of her competing photographers Jamie relaxed a bit. "Thanks Charles. I really did need this."
Shaking his head at her nonsense he tells her to relax. "Think nothing of it, love. It'll all work out how it's supposed to in the end. Even if you and Tom don't work out we're still going to be friends, right?" Nodding in agreement she smiles over at him, relief flooding her at his sentiment. "Right, so let's get this done shall we?"
Getting off the plane Jamie turned her phone back on and immediately got a massive influx of missed calls, texts and emails. One in particular caught her attention, making her ask Charlie to grab her bags so she could answer it. More than happy to he grabbed a trolley and began searching out their bags.
Bucket 🪣: Hope your flight was okay. Let me know when you've gotten there so I know you're safe.
Dollface🦋: Just landed at PDX safe and sound.
A second after she sent the text he responded.
Bucket 🪣: Good. If you want to talk I'm available. Have fun, doll.
Dollface🦋: Will do, give Ally loves from me.
Clicking off her phone Jamie went to help Charlie finish loading everything on the trolley so they could get all their luggage out to the waiting car service sent to pick them up. Seeing a sudden happier shift in her demeanor he asked if everything was alright. "On one front it is. As for the rest of it? Not even close, but I'm trying to not worry about that right now."
Letting the driver load their baggage up Charlie gave her a rib crushing hug in silent support before shoving her into the back seat, telling her to scoot over. Laughing she does as he asked and buckled in. This was exactly what she needed. Jamie thought to herself that already her heart was feeling a little lighter.