4:35 pm
I had rambled a lot in the time that we had talked, pointing out things that obviously hadn't crossed Travis's mind. We agreed that we weren't fuck buddies and we agreed on how much we liked each other, but the relationship part was still in the air. I thought that our conversation would be more productive, but we ended up sort of insulting each other when I brought up the conversation I had with Delilah.
I pointed out that he sounded like a player and he pointed out that I was somewhat easy, instantly hurting my feelings. We sat on the couch in silence, my blood boiling from anger and sadness. Travis looked just as angry but neither of us moved. I finally couldn't handle the silence and headed upstairs, deciding to take a shower just to pass the time. I had to do anything but sit on that couch with him.
I was angry that we were so different yet so good together. I was mad that I gave my virginity to a guy I hardly knew. I was mad that I liked him so much. And I was mad that our conversation went so wrong so fast. That's why we should have left the conversation for the end of the trip. It was my fault that I liked him, that I slept with him, that we just had the worst talk ever. I was just mad at myself.
"Are you calling me easy?" My heart ached.
"I don't remember you hesitating." Travis pointed out, his eyes staring into mine with no humorous glint in them.
"I'm not one of the whores you bring home and sneak out of the house after you're done with them!" I was completely offended.
I sat on my bed, hugging the towel around me as I took deep breaths. It wasn't my place to say anything about Travis's love life, but it wasn't okay for him to call me easy. It was incredibly disrespectful. I gave him my virginity because I liked him and trusted him. I hadn't found a guy, yet, that was worth losing my virginity for. I was angry at myself for thinking he was the one that got it. I was wrong, I was foolish, and it hurt to think about.