Ruv: Look guys, I need help.
Sakuroma: Love help?
Tabi: Financial help?
Agoti: Emotional help?
Garcello: Help moving a body?
*Everybody looks at Garcello*
Garcello: What?
Sky: Girlfriend and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.
Girlfriend: We what?
Darnell: *gets a text* Oh! It's Girlfriend.
Boyfriend, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff?
Darnell: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood.
Boyfriend: Wow! Where'd they find 12 gallons of fake blood?
Darnell: You wanted fake blood?
Boyfriend:
Darnell: I'll go call Girlfriend.
Girlfriend: You shouldn't be using a straw.
Tanner: I know, I know, it's bad for the environment and stuff.
Girlfriend: Yeah, but I mean... it's a weird way to eat spaghetti.
Pico & Agoti:*Playing video games*
Nikusa: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games?
Pico: *silence*
Agoti: *silence*
Nikusa, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you?
Pico & Agoti in shame: Yeah...
Solazar: I think I mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart.
Boyfriend, admiring a sleeping Girlfriend: You're so cute.
Girlfriend, sleepily: I could beat your ass.
Boyfriend, lovingly: I know.
Selever: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.
Selever: *slow-mo walks out of the room*
Selever: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.
Nene: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.
Annie, grinning: I have a knife!
Girlfriend: Put it down, Annie.
Annie: Make me! *sprints away*
Sarvente: She made Boyfriend cry!
Cassandra: Boyfriend always cries!
Boyfriend: That's not true! *cries*
Boyfriend: Bonjour, Pico. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?
Pico: No, I don't want to sleep with you.
Boyfriend: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.
Garcello: It's nice to be wanted, you know?
Boyfriend: Not by the law!
Tabi: *walks to cabinet, removes oreo box, takes half a sleeve, throws empty box out* Hi!
Tanner: Hey- what are you doing-?
Tabi, shoving an oreo into his mouth: I am saving space :D
Sky: *Holding up a picture of a seemingly young anime girl* WHO IS SHE?! IS SHE TWELVE?!
Agoti: No! She's a thousand years ol-
Sky: *Cocks shotgun*
Agoti: NO! NOOOOOOOOOO-!
Darnell: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from a all you can eat pizza buffet.
Tabi: Why'd you get banned?
Darnell: Touched the rat.
Tabi: ... What rat?
Darnell: Chunky Cheese.
Nikusa: Where did you get that tomato soup?
Cassandra: It's actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.
Girlfriend: This bloodline ends with me.
Annie: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".
Boyfriend: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.
Pico: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.
Agoti: Are you sure this is safe?
Boyfriend: Safer than Flintstone vitamin gummies in a bottle.
Boyfriend: Keep twisting, junior! All you're gonna get is clicks.
Darnell: Uh, Agoti? Boyfriend is in the pool and I don't think he's waterproof.
Agoti: What?
Selever: I think he meant, Boyfriend is drowning.
Agoti: WHAT?!
*Meanwhile*
Boyfriend: *is drowning*
Girlfriend: OH MY GOD, Boyfriend! KEEP SWIMMING!
Boyfriend: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks*
Girlfriend: Boyfriend!
Cassandra: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and...
Nene: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.
Cassandra: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said...
Ruv: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.
Sarvente: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of god?
Garcello: Money... Is like president trading cards.
Boyfriend: I am not a lunatic. I have the psychiatric report to prove it. A slender majority of the panel decided in my favour.
Boyfriend: Why are you late?
Garcello: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness.
Boyfriend: Overslept?
Garcello: Overslept.
Selever: Can we go to a haunted house?
Sky: What's wrong with the one we live in?
Selever: Wh-what?
Sky: Goodnight, Selever.
Sarvente: Stop setting things on fire because you're curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire.
Boyfriend: But what if something else happens just this one time.
Boyfriend: The knuckles and skin on your hand are so soft. You have such cute, white fingers. Will you rub my cheek? Rubbing my cheek calms me down so much. When I was a child, you've heard of Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa, right? When I saw that painting in an art book, When I first saw that, I don't know how to put it, um this is a bit dirty, but I got a boner. I just cut out the part with her hands and hung it in my room for a while. I want to cut off yours, too. My name is Boyfriend. I've killed 48 women with beautiful hands up to now. You're the only one! You're the only one who will know my identity!
Girlfriend: My name is Girlfriend. I'm 19 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Newgrounds, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
A/N:
11 chapters here and 12 on AO3, we're nearing halfway completion! Our goal is 24 chapters before ending with a multi-fandom crossover! If, and that's a big if, I get the motivation to continue, the goal will be raised to 54 and 1 special chapters!