˗ˏˋChoosing The Villainess As My Mother ࿐ྂ
»»🦋»»
Cynthia (POV)
I'm here in my bedroom, finding myself gazing at the moon through the balcony. This life I'm living now isn't my initial stint on this earthly stage; I've journeyed through death a hundred times in this world.
Each time I meet my demise, a peculiar phenomenon unfolds-my eyes flutter open to a different moment, a time when death hasn't cast its shadow over my existence.
I've gone back in time to moments when my life fell into the abyss, experiencing the bitterness of death not once, but a hundred times.
I gave it my all to turn things around in this world, putting in so much effort.
Yet, whenever I face death here, all the hurt I've bottled up just spills out.
It's painful realizing that no matter how much I strive, nothing seems to fall into place for me.
It's like I'm stuck with a life that's meant to be mine, no matter how much I try to change it.
It felt like no matter how hard I tried to make things better, my life was set on a course towards hardship.
In this current chapter of my life...
It seemed to whisper that despite my yearning for things I longed to possess, my desires would remain unfulfilled.
Recollections of the past flooded my mind, filled with a longing for attention and love from those around me; I was truly desperate for it.
Absolutely desperate.
I poured my heart and soul into being the ideal daughter, striving to be the perfect wife for Prince Lucien, and dreaming of becoming the flawless Queen one day.
All the hard work and devotion I invested... I never thought it would all fall apart before my eyes, like it meant nothing.
In my second chance at life, I traveled back in time once more, determined to alter the course of my destiny.
But here I am, and this isn't my second chance anymore.
Every time I came back from the past, hoping to change things in this world...
That's what I believed, but it didn't work out the wag I want.
Going back over and over...
I'm just exhausted with this life, feeling utterly hopeless.
I tried and tried, but why does it seem like I fall short? Why does it feel like everything I've done so far is still not enough?!
It all started when I give my father too much influence in my life.
Then there's this empire's Prince Lucien, and I don't know why the previous version of myself was so smitten with such a fool.
And then there's this girl who stole everything from me, the one that everyone loves.
She gains acceptance as my father's daughter, pushing the real me to the background where I remain invisible and silent.
I was overcome with jealousy as she had everything I yearned for.
I couldn't hide it - I was completely envious of her, no denying that.
Everything I yearned for in my life, she had it. I could never have the things she has.
While I was met with ridicule, mockery, and hatred from everyone-including my own father, who thought I was a shame to the family-everyone showered her with love.
And the girl that everyone adores, she was a real-life fairy tale for them. Her beauty, charm, and kindness made her the ideal lady in the society.
And then there was me.
If people painted her as the ideal future Queen, destined for greatness, when they compared us.
For me, they called me wicked and declared that I was unfit to hold the throne. They even gave me an awful title that lingered on my existence like a shadow.
I tried so hard to be the girl that everyone liked, but all they saw in me was a shameless copycat.
In my previous life, I have heard worse things so often that I became numb from hearing them.
Nothing new was happening in this world; every time they saw me, they would tell stories that would damage my reputation.
To them, I was a poisonous lady of the society, and I would only appear to be a villain when I stood next to the girl they cherished and looked up to.
All they wanted in a world where I was deemed a misfit was a villain-someone who would commit evil acts on their behalf.
I decided as a result. I would play the villain if they were that desperate for one. I showed them what a villainous woman could do in this world, revealing the side they had always wanted to see.
However, just like in every story in the book, all of the villains-including myself-are destined to die.
I no longer wish or hope for anything because all I'm waiting for is death to knock on my door every time I travel back to the past.
And each time I returned, I simply continued to play the villain that they wanted me to be, and strangely enough, it was enjoyable.
I could tell them all of my frustrations and angers that I've been holding inside whenever I play the villainous woman.
Nothing has changed in this world.
Nothing has changed in this world at all, not even the people, even if I keep dying over and over again.
I see nothing but darkness in this life; there is no hope or light to be found.
I feel as though I might have to walk in complete darkness for all of eternity because I've been walking down this empty road without any light.
However, I was able to see some light ahead of me today.
I can't resist hoping once more.
I can't help but feel as though this could be my newfound hope for the world.
Even though it's only our second day together, I feel like I've met that child more than a hundred times. I'm not sure why.
Her voice soothes me, and her existence itself is like a warm light.
Her dark hair, from when I first saw her on the street, makes me think of how empty or dark my life used to be.
I can't help but smile inside when I look at her face because her purple eyes are so full of light, unlike the eyes of the people I've met and seen before, which seemed empty and lifeless.
It seems as though they were characters, puppets.
Hers is happy and bright, in contrast.
She appeared to have never experienced any difficulties, agony, or worse! I have never seen anyone with as much light and happiness in their eyes as she has.
Her eyes are full of pure light, something I could never have in this life, and I can't help but think of protecting a child like her.
As I locked my balcony door and closed the door behind me, I thought to myself, "She may not realize it yet, but she have become my precious one."
(I should go and check on her one last time before I go to sleep.)
I then went to my dear soon-to-be daughter's room after opening the door from my bedroom.
However, I discovered her bed was empty when I opened the door from her room.
I called out, "Dear???" as I searched the entire room for her.
(Where on earth could she have gone?)
(The physician has advised her not to move just yet.)
After hurriedly leaving my daughter's room, I exclaimed, "Where are the maids!?!?" and noticed Madeline and Bosworth chatting in the hallway.
"Bosworth, there you are." I said.
Bowing his head to me, Bosworth says, "Ah, good evening your grace."
Madeline says, "Good evening, your grace." I cross my arms at that point.
"Do you know where my daughter could have gone? Her bed is empty. Have any of you seen her?" I asked, but they were just staring at me.
"My lady, we didn't see the little miss coming outside from her room at all." Madeline responds
"What?! Then where did she go!?" I responded.
Bosworth comments, "Your grace, the little lady must have gone to the bathroom," as I continue to stare at him with crossed eyebrows.
(Bosworth, I still recall you from a previous existence.)
(I can't help but be cautious around you.)
"I've checked her room's bathroom, and my daughter isn't there either. The doctor says she shouldn't be getting out of bed just yet." I exclaimed as the head maid appeared.
The head maid asks, "Your grace, is something wrong in here?"
"Have you seen my daughter???" I responded.
The head maid replies, "The little miss? I'm sorry your grace, but no."
"Bosworth, inform everyone," I uttered, but my attention swayed as I caught sight of a small silhouette emerging from the opposite corridor.
"Althea???" I exclaimed, trailing her steps. Bosworth and the rest followed behind, and I confirmed- it was, without a doubt, my daughter.
(What is she doing?)
"Take me to the place I used to run~~" she sang, clutching something in her hand.
( What is she singing?? And where is she going??? )
" Remember the house where I was born~ " she sings as she then finally opened the window and sit near to it.
" Hmmnmm~ humm~ "
" I'll show you the stars that I used to hide~ " she sings while she opened the jar filled with cookies.
" Goodness, is that why there were two missing jar of cookies in the kitchen?? It was because the little miss has been stealing? Goodness." The head maid remarks.
.
.
.🦋