//AN// I apologise to everyone again who had to read this like big chunky brick wall paragraphs, because yet again so some reason my formatting didn't even register with the update. It happened on my fanfiction too and right now I'm livid!
No one screws with my formatting and gets away with it!
30// Oh Dear, Don't Cry
The Red Queen shoved me into the car forcefully her clawing grip burning my skin. Oh how I loathed her. For everything that she had done, why was she still ruling? Why was she still queen? The beautiful and gentle White Queen had more grace and empathetic than this tyrant could ever dream of in her fitful sleep.
Soon we were on our way to wherever the Bloody Big Head thought was a suitable residence for me to stay and rot away in.
"Alisa dear do cheer up" The Red Queen said to me. I could not sneer any harder, slouch any lower or frown any darker. I was on the brink of screaming and jumping out of the fancy red carriage. How dare she tell me to cheer up while I was away from Hatter and she was forcing me to come and board with her!
"Alisa you will answer me" it seemed that she was talking to me, asking me questions, but I didn't notice, I hardly ever noticed. She didn't deserve to hear my responses, my time should not be wasted on her.
"My name is Alice, if I have to ever tell you again in the existence of our lives that my name is Alice-Alice-damn Alice! I shall cut off your head!" the chains that she had wrapped around my body prevented me from jumping out and onto the road back to my Hatter. The evil Red Queen merely laughed. She fucking-laughed.
Anger boiled in my veins, burning my insides till I believed that I would melt in emotion. This would not be how my story ended, I would not let her use me as her pawn.
"If I am to be your prisoner, at least tell me where we depart to" I droned.
"Our home" the tyrant spoke. I rolled my eyes till they hit the back of my head.
"I have no home with you, Bloody Big Head"
"Alisa, don't use that language"
There were tears as I lost it. Who was this Alisa she always spoke of? The tears rolled down my cheeks heavily, my mouth trembling as I could no longer fight the pain back. Oh the emptiness and horridness of it all.
"Oh dear, don't cry"
"I will cry all I like because it is the only way to say to you how much I am hurting"
"Don't mumble Alisa, I cannot hear you when you mumble"
My throat burnt with the screams that I erupted in. What had I done to deserve this? Why did this monster think she could take care of me? Hatter, I only needed Hatter. If I only needed him now, I would never have to need for anything in my entire life ever again.
The castle was just as I had left it. Although pray tell that was a long time ago, when I was but only 13 years of age. Since then the Red Queen had been moving me around Underland finding new places to keep and torture me in. Years on and it's as though I never left. In silence the Queen ushers me inside, the smell of disinfectant lining the palace walls and corridors, just as I remember. That hint of roses was always there, lingering and reeking until you wanted to stop smelling it. She was always one for cleanliness our tyrant. That and the colour red, everywhere you set your eyes on was red. Red drapes, red tiles, red throne, red glass window panes, even a red daughter as she ordered me to change into something more modest than what I was wearing.
"No daughter of mine is going to be waltzing around in some boy's clothes like a hermit" she snapped, the red dress in her hands being scrunched up by her vice-like hold.
"Then perhaps I am not your daughter" I simply told her. Why should I obey her? She has gained no respect from me? Which means that I also have no respect to be lost either. The Queen pursed her lips like she always did when I did something to irritate her. Her eyes narrowed sharply and for a moment I was a little girl again and not understanding why the Queen was so angry with me?
All I ever did was try to tell her that my name was Alice. That I am in Wonderland and I must get out of her tyrannical clutches. The numerous times I had been locked in the cupboard under the stairs or the attic because I would talk to her of one day finding The Mad Hatter. My grumbling stomach as the prison door closed and I was left cold and hungry. Her ruthless heart not once feeling anything towards me.
I remembered the frightened little girl who had never been in this strange place called Wonderland before, she was scared and worried because she had no friends, no one to tell her that everything would come good in the end. She only had this Red Queen who pushed, yelled and fought to make her just like herself. And now I felt like that frightened little girl again. Diminished-alone-cold-hungry-weak-hurting...
...and there was nothing I could do about it. So reaching out, the red dress was thrust into my arms, I had not even noticed the silent tears that were streaming down my face, dripping down my neck in quiet rivulets.
"Oh dear, don't cry" the Queen snapped to me, "stop acting like a spoilt child. I gave you everything you have ever wanted. I shall have no nonsense in this house, Alisa. Now behave yourself or you shall skip dinner tonight"