Miguel
Angst (a bit, this is just a short congrats to me coming back after 10 years)
TWs
ED (maybe??)
this is short, i mostly write my stories with at least 1k words in them
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Miguel
I layed down on my bed feeling sluggish. I had little to no energy in me and I had no intention of getting up at all, all I wanna do right now is rot inside my room. I'm currently waiting at death's door right now.. I missed being a little kid where I actually felt like doing something for once. I always try to block out all the thoughts I had in my head but it just doesn't work. Life is like a flower, it grows from a seed and blooms into a pretty flower, but when the flower doesn't get enough care, it wilts and turns ugly, and eventually dies. That's how I feel like, a dead wilted flower. I barely remembered how happy I was, because now that I'm older I don't even recognize myself anymore. All I can really do right now is wait for death's door to open and let me in. I don't even hang out with my own friends anymore, I just stay home on my bed with purple LED lights and just lay there for hours and hours at a time. It's been like this for.. almost a month now and I know that at least 1 or 2 of my friends are worried. I mean, it's peaceful. I can't actually sleep now because of my heavy insomnia so I would just lay down doing nothing. I have no energy nor motivation to do anything, especially getting up. I haven't eaten in weeks, and I'm exhausted like hell. I don't even know how I'm not dead yet, but I wish I was. Honestly the only things I've been doing for the past month was just laying down on my bed, drinking water, chewing gum and smoking. I know it's not healthy, but I don't even care anymore. I ignored all of my discord calls and muted everyone. I've ghosted the people I loved the most. And I feel guilty for it, yet I still do it. My heart aches all the time. Hopefully this will end soon, because I don't know how much longer I can take.
I managed to get up, feeling sluggish. I remembered I hid my phone under my pillow and took it out. I decided to get on discord. Jeez, so much notifications. I thought. I wasn't really surprised, I haven't been online in a while anyway. Omar is online, time to slide in his dms.
omarsumi
Mikaiel —
hey
12:34 am
omarsumi —
holy shit your online??
12:34 am
Mikaiel —
well duh
how else am i texting you?
12:34 am
omarsumi —
you have a point
where have u been i missd you
12:35 am
Mikaiel —
home..?
12:35 am
omarsumi —
alright.. can i come over?
12:35 am
Mikaiel —
nah.
im a mess rn
12:36 am
omarsumi —
are u ok?
12:36 am
Mikaiel —
no
12:37 am
omarsumi —
wanna talk bout it?
12:37 am
Mikaiel —
nah, im tired
ima go to sleep
12:37 am
omarsumi —
gn then
just know im here for you
if you ever wanna talk.
12:38 am
I shut off my phone. I feel bad, I made him worry. I lied to him too. I wanna end this so bad, but I can't. He makes me feel like I'm actually special. He is my favorite person and I love him more than I will ever love myself. I can feel tears prickling in my eyes. I sighed and closed my eyes.
Why am I like this?
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601 words
I may rewrite this, I was rushing.
And im listening to spotify while making this, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY ADS.
AAAAAAAAA
oh yeah i also opened a headcanons book
and again sorry for the long ass wait
ima try to be more active (this is most likely a lie, sorry ig lmao)