2 weeks had passed,
Malia POV:
It's been two weeks and we're on our way sa libing ni Oliver. In two weeks na rin yung, a lot of things happened. Dad was super busy, he's not like that naman noon yet I understand naman, he even checked me on my room at night but I'm already asleep na so that hindi na kami ganoon nagkakausap, but makes his ways naman. Mom on the other hand, was very focused on me especially kapag I'm having my chemo, she's always by my side. Parang naging buntot ko na ito dahil sa sunod ng sunod sa akin. But for now, it's not the same anymore. The sadness I feel gets so deep in my heart, that I can't even cry anymore. Isn't it a beautiful thing how we find people who can make us feel so happy, even at the times when we don't believe in happiness at all and he's the one who made me feel that.
"Anak we're here na" mom abruptly said.
Malayo pa lang ay I can see a lot of people are here. Particularly Jessan ad Keirt.
"Mommy's just here anak" mom added and I just nodded as response.
But I have a feeling that there's a line separating their feelings towards each other ni daddy. Dad said na he'll be with us kapag ililibing na si Oliver. But it's looks like na busy talaga ito, or perhaps he's doing something else? Wala naman sana, I want to ask mom.
"I'm fine mommy, but can I ask you?" tanong ko for hindi pa nagsisimula ang mass and we have a plenty of time pa naman.
"S-sure anak, anything"
"Are you and dad okay po ba?"
When I left those remarks, mom just stared me for a few seconds until I want to apologize for what I've said. Perhaps she get uncomfortable.
"So sorry mommy I hope I didn't asked-"
When she suddenly tucked my hair and smiled at me.
"We're fine, honey. Regarding kay daddy mo, I apologize that he can't have a time for you like mine. Sometimes there are a lot of things in life that won't go the way we want to but that's exactly okay"
Napa isip ako sa sinabi ni mommy are there things that they're been through ni daddy?
"Hay naku, don't overthink na honey. We're okay lang talaga ni daddy mo. It's look likes that father (priest) is already there na. Let's go?" mom said and exited the car.
Pagkarating namin, there was a seat that tita Cathy reserved for the three of us ni daddy. Pero dalawa lang kaming narito ni mommy. Jessan and Keirt are beside me, they've been asking if how am I doing.
"Healing" I said and the mass begin na.
It took an hour at natapos na din ang mass. There's a necro pa pala bago ilibing si Oliver. Oliver's Aunts and Uncles we're the first one who spoke. It's true that Oliver was a very loving and gentleman, inuuna niya ang iba bago ang sarili nito despite that he had a disease. Other of his classmates naman, cried. For they said that he did leave a mark on them. A mark that totally cannot be forgotten. And when the last one who spoke asked if someone will give a message pa ba before tita Cathy. Jessan and Keirt stared at me, pati na rin si mommy. Then tita Cathy give me the mic, kaya nilakasan ko ang loob ko to speak even it hurts a lot losing someone you loved.
"You can do it" mom quote and hold my hand before I go in the middle.
I took a deep breathe muna before start speaking.
"I have come to pay respect and give honor to one of the most important people in my life, my bestfriend, Oliver. Oliver, I am honestly not sure on how am I suppose to start this message, or should I say, how am I suppose to start life again without you? Because right now, it felt as if the world paused for a moment, for me to finally let it sink to me that you are gone?It has been three months since our friendship came into life unexpectedly, and ended unexpectedly as well. Honestly, the first time we met each other, I had no idea and never expected about how things would turn out between the two of us. But here we are, as time progressed we got to know and learn each other, and suddenly became each other's rest and comfort. I would always be reminded of the days where he had always been consistent, especially in checking up on me, asking me how my day was at the end of the day. With him, I felt heard, seen, and validated. I hope that was able to let him feel the same way as well because that's how much I value and care for him too. This happened so sudden that it left me with questions and what ifs. What if I did not hold back myself from telling and showing him what my exact feelings were the day he confessed to me? It was too late, I was too late. Some of you might think that three months might be a short time of span to really get to know each other well but for me three months were a lifetime, because that's the only time I got to spend with him. During those three months, I learned how amazing he was as a friend, as my friend. Not only his presence, actions, and words helped me to know him but his personality and how he treat those people around him, especially those people who was close to his heart are the reasons why I am and would be forever grateful for the friendship we shared. Right now, I can't explain the sadness I am feeling. It's like it would never go away, just like you that I can't never bring back. Still, I would do my very best to not be sad for a long time. Because I know that he had always wanted me to be happy, and that is what I am trying to do. I hope he's listening Oliver, I hope you are listening and what I said somehow made you felt assured that I will live a best life, just like how you always want me to be. And I'm sorry for this world could not keep you safe, may your journey home be a soft and peaceful one. Oliver, you may be physically gone, but your presence and the memories we shared will remain in my heart in our hearts forever" and that's it, I couldn't help but my tears suddenly fall.
When I go back where I was sitting. Jessan and Keirt were in tears also sa sinabi ko.
"I salute you" daig ni mommy and held my arm na hindi ko akalain napaiyak na din pala.
And when it's tita Cathy's turn to speech, yet even she has not started to speech-the pain and throb in her eyes can definitely tell that she don't know what to do anymore. But for me, I know that she's capable of being strong despite of this.
"It has been two weeks. Even when we had funeral services and memorials for you, I still can't believe that you're gone, anak. I kept staring at the door, hoping that at any given time you'd walk straight in and ask me, "What's for dinner, Mom? " Then you'd wrap your arms around me and ask me, "What's up, Mom? " with that big smile on your face. I miss that wide smile that melts my heart, that loud contagious laugh that makes me want to laugh along with you. The kind of person you are — warm, generous, big-hearted. Even as you teased me, it was never mean-spirited. You did it to make me laugh, besides pointing out the obvious. Despite the disease you had, you were still able to make us happy. I still don't and can't accept what happened anak. But remaining silent as I struggle to wrap my head around what just happened does you a great disservice. And you don't deserve that. So I want everyone to know what a perfect son you were, Oliver. Beyond the great big smile was a great big heart whose capacity to love is greater than any bullet or hate can destroy. You lived life to the fullest and loved deeply. This legacy will be carried on by the countless many you left behind, the countless many whose lives are forever changed because of you. No bullet can ever take that away. Not ever. I thought holding your funeral was the most difficult thing I have ever done. No mother should ever have to bury her child. But I was wrong. Living life without my smile and hugs is even harder. You were my smile and hugs, Oliver. I felt your hugs from every friend of yours who came up to me. And our family is stronger because of you. This is entirely your doing. This is because everyone loves you. Thank you for being so understanding. Thank you for being so forgiving. Thank you for the honor of being called your mom. Thank you for being you, Oliver. I love you very much, anak. My pride. My joy. My love. I miss you so much and it hurts" tita Cathy stated and immediately left sa gitna.
Nakakabingi ang katahimikan and all of us cannot accept what will happen next. For it's already a time to bury him.
"We encouraged everyone to see one last time to Oliver for the casket will be pulling down in a minute" one of his aunt announced and all of us suddenly flock infront.
"Destiny brought us together, but fate drift us part. Let us see each other in another lifetime" I murmur.
A few minutes after, sinara na ang kabaong and it was already pulling down.
Habang tinatabunan na nang lupa ito, I can't comprehend what I feel. But we all need to accept that it's already his time. I waited a few minutes hanggang matapos na talaga at maayos ang pagka libing nito sa ilalim.
"Anak?" mom spoke behind me.
"M-mommy ikaw pala" I quote at mukhang napatagal ako dito.
"S-sorry are we going home na po? Pasensya na natagalan ako" I added and others are already leaving na pala. Tapos na pala.
Mom just nodded while I asked permission muna to talk with Jessan and Keirt. It's been a week na rin na hindi kami nagkita. Noong lang pagbisita namin sa bahay nila Oliver.
"Sure anak, I'll be with your tita Cathy lang" daig ni mommy at tumungo na.
"Gusto mo samahan ka namin? O di kaya magbonding tayo? Baka naman payagan ka ni tita Irene" Jessan said.
"Okay lang ako Jess, kayo- kamusta? so sorry for I've been not updating you this past few weeks"
"Nako walang problema, ayos naman kami. Sigurado kaba? Pwede tayo pumunta roon" and I already know what she's referring to.
"Yes, I'm absolutely fine. And I already done my second cycle of chemo, yet pumayat ako"
"Yun nga eh , pero nga pala, nagpadala si tatay ng mga prutas at gulay sa inyo noong isang araw. Binigay niya sa guard niyo"
"Oh yes, it's from tito pala. There's a lot of it, salamat talaga ha"
"Nako, walang problema. Tawagan mo lang kami ni Keirt palagi ha. O pwede rin na pumunta ka ulit sa amin kung yun ay papayagan ka ni tita"
"S-sure, I'll invite both of you sa house din" I answered.
"Sigurado ka Lia ha! Hindi masamang maglahad ng sakit na nararamdama sa ibang tao"
"Y-yes, I-I'm sure I'm fine"
"Makakaya natin to, alam kong napakasakit na mawalan ng kaibigan sa atin pero baka may plano ang Diyos" she added and nagpaalam na kami sa isa't-isa for we're the only person who left here in the cemetery.
"Mag-ingat ka ha!" Jessan quote and hugged me.
"Kayo rin ni Keirt" sambit ko at siya namang nagpaalam pareho sila kay tita Cathy and mommy.
When it's already the three of us who were left, ay nagpaalam na rin si mommy kay tita Cathy.
"Thank you for coming Irene and Lia be safe heading home" tita Cathy remarked.
"We will Cathy, be strong I know you can. Time heals" mom said and hugged tita Cathy, same as me at namaalam na.
"Mommy just a second, mauna na po kayo sa sasakyan" I said and she just smiled at me na siyang nauna namang tumungo sa sasakyan.
Tita Cathy already left na, wala nang katao-tao dito, I just want to say goodbye to him for the last time.
"I hope you're in peace wherever you're right now. And I just want you to know that our story isn't over just yet, that someday we'll meet again and finally get it right. Yes we will meet again, for even I'll only see you in my dreams- I will always find my way back to you. I love you and goodbye Oliver" I stated as I already left his grave.