Teacher: All right, little birds. Find your nests, man. Float down. There we go, and we're in. All right, guys, normally we don't have exciting news this late into the term, but we have a new student joining us today, Braden Higgins. Hey, there's an empty seat over there, man. Why don't you go pop a squat? Or go that way, man. Take your own path.
Braden: No. I sit here.
Greg: Is your dad Marcus Higgins?
Andre: Yeah, I've known him since I was a baby. He's the funniest. The best. Great, great man.
Braden: I want to smash his face.
Andre: Yeah, me, too.
Greg: Yeah, I hate that guy. Screw him.
In gym class
Bumpty: Yo, Charlotte, hold up, hold up. Question. How would you like to spend the first night of summer with a hardcore up-and-comer?
Charlotte: What does that mean?
Donna: I think he's asking you out.
Charlotte: He is? You are?
Bumbty: I don't make stuff up.
Charlotte: Well, can Donna come?
Bumbty: Three's a crowd, McCloud. No, he didn't. Yes, he did.
Donna: It's okay, Charlotte. It's a date, your first date. Just you two.
Charlotte: All right. I mean, I'd have to ask my parents, but I think that would be okay.
Teacher: Hey, Bumpty. You think just because it's the last day of school, you can sit and socialize the entire period?
Bumpty: I don't think about stuff like that, Lady Shorts.
Teacher: Well, can you think fast? "Throws a ball at Bumpty and he falls)
Bumpty: Ow!
Teacher: Who wants to watch me climb a rope
The teacher climbs the rope and his shorts ride up his ass
Bumpty: Yo, he's got to put those Easter eggs back in the basket. Dang!
Tired mom: Oh, I can't take it anymore! I wish I never had you! Oh! Stop it! Stop it!
Lenny: See, that's why I don't want five kids.
Kurt: Yeah, people with five just lose their minds. Yeah.
Eric: Hold up. Hang on. I got a burpsnart coming. Uh-oh.
Lenny: Come on. You got to teach me how you do that.
Eric: A burpsnart? It's simple. Yeah. You just start with a burp, then you sniff for a sneeze, you get that going, and that triggers a fart, always.
Fluzoo: What's up with this school bus?
Lenny: Okay. I stole it.
Fluzoo: What? Put your hands in the air and wave ''em like you just don't care. Say oh?
Everyone: oh
Fluzoo: I heard you're having a party tonight, Lenny.
Lenny: What? I'm not having a party. Where did you hear that?
Dante: He's a cop. He hears everything.
Lenny: Look, it's Magnum P.U.
Cassie: Look at him getting all serious. I still can't believe you're a cop after all the sick stuff you did growing up.
Dante: The Peter Dante who stole your parents' snowmobile and sold it to purchase crack cocaine is dead, Feder. This side of the law is way better. To serve and protect. Got to love it.
Fluzoo: Hey, McKenzie, I heard you assaulted somebody in there.
Kurt: I didn't assault anybody. I just choked out your brother.
Fluzoo: Yeah, he deserves it. He's crazy.
Eric: We got five minutes to get to that stupid recital.
Fluzoo; Whoa, whoa, whoa. Recital? At McDonough Elementary?
Cassie: Yes.
Fluzoo: Can I come?
Cassie: Why?
Fluzoo: Trust me. Everybody's got to go.
Lenny: We got five minutes. We're never gonna make it there.
Dante: You'll get there on time, 'cause we're gonna give you a four-alarm presidential police escort.
Cassie: Isn't that against the law?
Dante: I am the law!
They get there just in time
Teacher: Welcome, parents, to final performance of school year, our June-a-licious Dance Spectacular! Now, for this year, we go throwing a few hip-hop moves in there. Like this.
She shows a little hip hop dance
Teacher: Is fun to dance. Let the show begin.
Roxanne: So nice of you to invite your friends and the bus driver and the police force to our daughter's dance recital.
Lenny: Yeah, huge ballet fans, all of them.