— DARYL KNEW FOR SURE THAT his brother had little to no hope left without Zoe by his side, safe and sound; he knew just how much the two young adults meant to each other, and it even broke the older man's heart that his brother may have lost the only girl he's ever loved, he had even grown to love Zoe like his own sister, and just the thought that she may not be alive, upset him greatly. Not only did they not know about the girls well-being; but Rick's, too.. Michonne, Carl, Judith, Maggie, Glenn.. They didn't have any way of finding out if any of their family were alive, and if they were alive and out there somewhere, it wouldn't be easy to find them, if they were all split up, he had a horrid feeling that they may not even be reunited ever again, and it terrified him to no end, since the last thing the Dixon brothers wanted, was to be alone. At the moment, the two brothers mostly cared about keeping Beth safe; for Hershel — it felt like they were all travelling for weeks on end, unable to find a single place that was safe, where they could rest after so much walking and fighting walkers, they were all exhausted, and didn't know how much more energy they had left to carry on going, and as Nate squished himself in between the backseats of the abandoned car they found on the side of the road, with silence and the sound of walkers grunts, all he could do was think..
Nate didn't like thinking, especially since the prisons downfall — without Zoe, he genuinely didn't know if he wanted to go on; without that girl, he felt completely useless, like he had no reason to go on anymore. With Zoe, he felt like he could imagine a future, a proper one, like they could live a happy life, create a family together, and live till they were old.. But, now, without her, he felt nothing. The man wished he could go back in time to the attack at the prison, to stick with Zoe, to save her; she wasn't in a good way when he last saw her, with the flu still kicking her ass as she was incredibly weak, he didn't know how much of a chance the girl would have out there alone, and with no one watching her back properly, everyone on that bus was ill, and everyone had a low chance at making it out here without proper gear. So many walkers passed as Nate kept quiet, hearing Beth's heavy breathing from the trunk with Daryl, they still had so many of the undead on their tail from the prison, and with no backup, and hardly and weapons to defend themselves with, the only thing the three of them could really do, was run and house, like they had been doing for days and days.
The three survivors were stuck in the abandoned car for what felt like days, but had been one whole night filled with thunder and rain, hearing what felt like hundreds of walkers walk by with no idea they were even in the car — the morning finally came, the sunlight peeking through the gaps in the park of car to show so. Nate peered out of a gap in the car, seeing that there were no walkers around, meaning that they were finally in the clear; he climbed out first to double check, before whistling to the other two, indicating that it was now safe to come out, and it felt strange, breathing in some fresh air after being in an old and dusty car all night long. The road was now completely empty as they stripped the car for supplies; Nate still didn't utter a single word as they all worked on the car, as well as Beth and Daryl, who didn't really have anything to say — the three of them only spoke when it was necessary, and that's just how Nate liked it, because at the moment, the man couldn't stand the sound of his own voice. Anything that happened now, it reminded him of Zoe, and he hated it.
After collecting what they needed to set up yet another camp, the three of them headed towards the woods yet again, setting up their shelter and doing their own things — Daryl headed one way, whilst Nate headed the other way to hunt, leaving Beth behind to start a fire so they could cook the food they catch. Walking in the woods alone was a strange feeling, not having Zoe by his side to show her the routes of hunting or tracking, he taught her everything she knew about hunting, and since he taught her that, she had hunted with him since, doing this without her by his side, felt very wrong, and he didn't like it one bit. But knowing that they all had to eat, something they hadn't done properly since the prison, the Dixon brothers unable to catch worth eating — so, the second Nate saw a squirrel climbing up a tree up ahead, he aimed his crossbow, and shot, hitting it dead between the eyes and watching it fall to the ground, dead. Normally, Nate would've celebrated at the successful catch, but he couldn't bring himself to even smile as he pulled his arrow out of the squirrels skull, picking up the dead animal and letting it dangle from his belt as he walked back to their temporary camp, seeing Beth setting up the fire for them to cook.
He sat down across from the blonde girl, pulling out his knife and bringing his dead rodent in front of him, beginning to skin the thing as Beth glanced over at him, not muttering a single word as he skinned the squirrel for food. Beth used to be afraid of Nate; when he had first showed up at the farm with the rest of the group, the Dixon's made her nervous, but when they found the prison, she saw them for who they really were, and they were truly good people; Beth saw just how much Zoe influenced Nate, and how she made him a better version of himself, she brought out the absolute best in him. But right now, she didn't recognise the man, he was just a shell of the person he used to be, and Beth knew that without Zoe, he was just.. Empty. There was a look in his eyes that Beth knew all too well, and she was afraid for him, on what might happen to him if he stops caring eventually and gives up. Even Daryl could see it, but no one had the balls to say anything about it, so they just went on with every day like nothing was wrong, because truthfully, it was easier that way.
Sitting around the fire and eating silently again is just how Nate liked it, not having Beth throw questions at him about his feelings and finally letting his demons overcome him, because that's what he believed he deserved after leaving Zoe behind, and for not looking for her — he deserved the darkness. "I need a drink." Beth finally spoke up, breaking the silence between them all as the two brothers barely looked her way as she did so, Daryl chuckled a water bottle her way as Nate carried on munching down on his squirrel, until the girl spoke up again. "No, I mean, a real drink. As in alcohol. I've never had one, 'cause of my dad. But, he's not exactly around anymore, so.." The girl trailed off, as Nate took another chunk of meat in his mouth to eat, no words from the Dixon brothers, still. "I thought we could all go find some.." Beth spoke up again, when Nate and Daryl didn't say anything back to her. Now, Nate didn't usually drink, and when he did, it wasn't a lot, with how his father used to be towards him when he drank, he swore to never rely on the stuff to help with his feelings — so with Beth's suggestion, he couldn't care less. No one replied again, as Beth sighed, picking herself up, grabbing her knife and storming off, having had enough of the Dixon brothers.
Watching the young girl walk off, Nate grunted in annoyance as he threw his squirrel to the ground, grabbing his weapon and following after her without any words spoken yet again, ignoring his brothers stare as he went; he knew that Zoe would beat his ass for not making sure Beth was okay.. The second he reached her, however, she was hiding behind a tree to avoid five walkers whom had just wandered away — Nate could hear Daryl behind him, but he didn't turn around, looking at the girl who was more broken than him, but hiding it with success. Nate motioned his head at Beth to follow hun and Daryl, which she did, back to the camp they had set up, unknowingly, since she wanted to find some alcohol. It wasn't until Beth walked into their noise trap, did she realise the two men weren't taking her to a place to drink. "What the hell? You brought me back." Beth stated, glaring at the two brothers, "I'm not staying in this suck-ass camp." She snapped, raising her middle finger up at the two brothers, as Daryl grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving, knowing that she would just get herself killed by going out there alone.
"Hey! You've had your fun." Daryl stated, knowing that she was just acting out because of the fact her dad was dead.
Beth yanked her arm back, "What the hell is wrong with you? Do you feel anything? Yeah, you think everything's screwed, I guess that's a feeling.. So, you wanna spend the rest of our lives staring into a fire and chewing on mud snakes? To be a mute, screw that." She then directed the last wording at Nate, who raised a brow at her words. "We might as well do something, I can take care of myself, and I need a drink." She carried on, before eventually spinning around and storming off yet again.
Nate watched the girl leave as he still spoke no words — he wouldn't call himself a mute, exactly, he just didn't have the need to talk anymore, and didn't exactly feel like it; the fact that the girl thought of him as a mute was just insulting.. He wasn't that damaged, or was he? Nate already knew that he was going to follow Beth, he couldn't let the girl go alone, but looking back at Daryl, he didn't exactly look like he wanted to leave the camp they had built, and created into a small home. The Dixon brothers were used to the woods, used to sleeping on the floor and hardly eating for days, they had grown up like that, but Beth didn't, and Nate completely understood why she didn't want to stay here like he did. Nate turned back to face Daryl, seeing him already grabbing his crossbow again and stepping over the noise trap, giving his brother a knowing look before he followed after Beth, Nate now following behind also..
The golf course they found after around an hour of walking looked promising, and looked like a general place they could sit and take cover in for the meantime, only a handful of walkers in the distance that they could take if they had to. Inside of the place, however, it was grim, there were refugees taking cover from when the outbreak first occurred, people hanging themselves, people dying in their sleep, it wasn't exactly the nicest thing to see after loosing so much hope with seeing their family again. Even Daryl seemed shocked by the view, old people dead, holding hands, others hung from the ceiling, everything was just left the way it was before the outbreak had even begun. Being in this place felt strange even without the dead people and hanging walkers; it was for rich people only, which definitely wasn't the Dixon brothers before the outbreak even begun — Merle and Daryl used to rob places like this, and seeing it now, Nate couldn't help but feel bad that they didn't have any hope for living in this world, and had taken an out straight away. If Nate didn't have his brothers with him, he probably would have done the same thing; the only reason he had survived this long was because of Daryl, and he couldn't thank that man enough.
Walkers banging on the entrance door stopped them all from their daze of the place, Daryl picking up a bag full of money and jewellery before rushing to the side doors with Beth and Nate in tow, trying to get away from the walkers outside so they would stop attracting attention to them. Inside further of the golf club wasn't any better, it was pitch black, the only place lit being the areas that Nate and Daryl shone a flashlight on, empty bottles riddled the area, mouldy food left over, the sinks completely dry, and everything just having gone to shit, being abandoned. Even if this were a thing, Nate didn't waste any time in looking for food that could actually be eaten, picking up multiple cans of food and checking if they were edible and good to eat, and he had found a small amount, glad that they didn't have to keep eating old snakes and poor little squirrels in the woods.
They could maybe make this place their new home, with a little cleanup.. As Nate was thinking of this, he heard commotion from the back, Beth grunting as a walker started grunting, and he didn't waste any time in rushing over to her and stepping in to help, but when he got there, she had already stabbed the dead thing in the head with her knife. Sighing, he slung his crossbow back on his back, and headed further into the golf club, having to crawl through some obstacles before finally reaching what looked like a clothing store, with even some jewellery on the side — Nate couldn't help but look at the jewellery section with a smirk on his face, noticing a certain diamond ring that just needed a clean, knowing that it would've been the perfect ring for Zoe. But when he realised that he probably wouldn't see the girl again, his smile quickly faded and turned into a scowl, Beth watching from a distance as he stormed off into a different section of the store, sighing as he did so.
Nate wouldn't be caught dead wearing half of the clothes in this place, even in the end of the world, so once Beth had found what she needed, the three of them had set off once again, meeting a small corridor that had at least four walkers in, heading in their direction; so they set off once again, the opposite way, now in a bright room where they could see. Nate didn't wasn't any time in spinning around and kicking one of the walkers back with his foot, knocking it to the floor as another advanced on him, Daryl knocking that one back until two were dead, leaving two more walkers headed for them, and then a third, and then a fourth. Daryl threw Nate a golf club as he caught it effortlessly, swinging it on the nearest walker with all of his strength, brain matter flying in different directions as he did so, before moving onto the next, not caring about the chunks of brain on his face. He went for the next one in a blind fury, hitting it around the head, around the body, until it finally collapsed, Nate not slowing down as the walkers head eventually became mush.
After doing this, he turned to face Daryl and Beth, who were both looking at him, one with a raised brow, and the other anxiously; either way, Nate gave a small nod to the pair, before heading off once again, trying to find the bar once again for Beth to have her first drink. When they finally reached a bar, Beth smiled, turning back to the two brothers, "We made it." She sighed in relief, "I know you both think this is stupid. And it probably is. But I don't care, all I wanted to do today was lay down and cry, but we don't get to do that. So, bear up on walkers if that makes you feel better. I need to do this." The girl explained, as Nate watched her then walk towards the bar to get a good look at the place.
Nate knew that he wanted to stand on lookout if Beth and Daryl wanted to have a drink, since he wasn't interested, he didn't even mind, it was better this way, not drinking; if he even had one drop of that stuff whilst he was in this way, it wouldn't end well, and with walkers around every corner, it was too dangerous to let himself go. But as he watched Beth get excited over finding a bottle of alcohol, he couldn't help but reminisce about the time Zoe had been drinking at the CDC, before they had lost hope, before they realised that everyone was infected, and before they all had a light inside of them that they would never get back. They were so young back then, having grown a lot over time, and Nate would give anything to go back to that time, because now, everything had gone to shit.
And he didn't think he could be happy again.