{Trigger Warning: This chapter mentions the death of a parent, toxic relationships, and abandonment issues}.
[Chapter twenty-eight]
-Octavia-
Winnie had always seemed so sure of herself. It kind of felt like the world had fallen off it's axis when I found out that wasn't the case.
She had never been an insecure person per se. But she did think she was expendable.
She isn't.
She's anything but.
But she never believed that.
And honestly, that breaks my heart. That's the last thing I wanted my twin sister to think.
Let's rewind.
Our mother was always open with us about the way her mother treated her–if you could even call her that. Her main reason was so we knew the difference between a good parent, and someone who was merely there for your birth.
Mama went through a lot of shit in her life. She didn't want us to go through anything remotely close to what she did. Being a good mother was her top priority.
And she was. She was the best mother anyone could have ever asked for.
But, what she hadn't counted on, was her issues with her own mother burrowing into Winnie's brain for the rest of her life.
Winnie never told her, of course. She never had the chance, because by the time she realised why she was feeling the way she was, mum was already long gone. Six years to be exact.
Yet, she never told dad.
Or even Flynn.
I'm the only person who knows (though Flynn did end up putting it together himself seeing as he knows Winnie better than anyone). I hate that I can't help her, or even understand how she's feeling because it never affected me the same way it affected her. It was always more black and white for me; "A good person would do this and this and this, a bad person would do this and that, and maybe even that."
For Winnie, it's always been much more than that.
God, anxiety is a bitch.
Then, Christian Ricci happened.
Or as Flynn likes to call him, 'puto cabrón'.
He was, in fact, a fucking asshole. Toxic, mentally abusive, manipulative. Someone you'd never expect Winnie -of all people- to get involved with.
Sadly, manipulative people always have a way of getting what they want.
They were together for a year. When we were fifteen. Well, we were fifteen, and he was seventeen. I can confidently say it was the lowest time in Winnie's life, not including the few years surrounding mum's death.
Ultimately, the puto cabrón broke up with Winnie because she wouldn't have sex with him.
He thought, because they were in a relationship, she should do whatever he wanted. Even if what he wanted was for someone to get his dick wet.
As if Winnie wasn't fifteen. As if she wasn't a child.
So, after the way he treated her throughout the course of their so-called "relationship", and after he dumped her, he didn't know what hit him.
Literally.
Flynn punched him in the face and the piece of shit was knocked out cold as soon as the younger boy's fist made contact.
Flynn got suspended. He told the principal that the asshole deserved more than just one punch. It got him a longer suspension but he had just smiled and said it was worth it.
And if Winnie and Flynn hadn't been close before, they were attached at the hip from that day on.
Which is why I say, apart from dad, no one cares about my sister more than Flynn. Not even me, and that's saying something. Not to say I don't care about her, because I do. More than anything. Flynn just cares about her so much, it honestly makes me tear up sometimes (and question why I don't have a Flynn of my own). Maybe it's because she was the only person he had for the longest time after he moved here from the Bronx. Or maybe she just showed him more love than anyone ever had before. I don't know. But what I do know, is that no one has ever had each other's back more than those two.
Which is why I had no right to get jealous that day in the living room a few months ago. Absolutely no right at all.
Nobody ever said I was rational.
Anyway, back to Winnie.
If Winnie wasn't bad enough before, Christian really fucked her up.
And while she's doing a lot better now than she was last year, that doesn't mean all her issues just got up and walked away.
Our mother was the best parent anyone could ask for. She was always warm, attentive, and loving. But because she passed when we were so young, you could say that's what kind of kick-started Winnie's abandonment issues. We always had aunt Megan, but it wasn't the same. It didn't help that Winnie completely shut off and refused to let anyone help her. Dad didn't know what to do and ended up sending her to therapy for a couple years, which actually really helped and she eventually stopped going.
But then, six years later, Christian's stupid ass came and made everything ten times worse.
I could've fucking killed him.
My father's a cop, I could've gotten away with murder.
Unfortunately, I'm not quite that crazy. So instead, when we were playing baseball in Gym the next day, I made sure to hit the ball in Christian's direction. It hit him in the crotch. Hard.
It's probably the only time I've ever been good at sports.
And I have never been so thankful for Sophomore class and senior class for having Gym at the same time.
Because Winnie had become so good at hiding what she was feeling, dad never found out about Christian. Or the fact that she honestly probably needed to start seeing a therapist again. She refused to go.
That brings us up to date. Winnie doesn't want the same thing to happen with Adonis.
And Adonis, god, that boy treats her so well–and they aren't even together. And I know he'd never hurt her. Not if he wanted to.
Winnie's just terrified.
"-avia. Octavia!"
"Huh?" My eyes focus on the hand waving in front of my face.
"I've been trying to talk to you for the last ten minutes." Flynn tells me with furrowed eyebrows before he nods down at my hand. "And your ice cream melted."
"Shit–" I hurriedly grab a few napkins from the holder, wiping the mess off the table and my hand. I still eat the cone though because I refuse to waste it after paying for it.
A quick recap; I brought Flynn to get ice cream and asked him to prom –as friends– and he said yes. I guess I must have zoned out after that.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I was just thinking."
He gives me a look. "About what?"
I stare at him for a moment before sighing.
"Winnie." I state. "You should talk to her."
The way his face goes from confused to concerned is almost comical, yet heartwarming all the same. "Winnie? What's wrong with Winnie? Did something happen?"
"Technically nothing." I tap on the table with a small grimace when his face grows more concerned and a little bit annoyed.
"Octavia, I swear to God, I am not dealing with your bullshit today. If something's wrong with Winnie–"
"Nothing." I emphasise. "She just doesn't tell Kamri and I everything like she does with you. I'm her twin, but for some reason, you're the motherfucker she can't live without."
I see him fail to hold back a smile at that and I laugh under my breath.
We decided to leave after another ten minutes, the Spring air smacking us in the face as we exit the doors of the ice cream parlour.
"Here," He clears his throat as he stops walking and hands me his keys. "Go wait in the car, I'm gonna call Winnie real quick."
I just nod, sending him a reassuring smile as I take the keys and start making my way to the car as he brings his phone to his ear and I know Winnie has already answered his call. She always answers him straight away.
I sit in the car with the window cracked open a little bit to let the stuffy air out of the car, watching as he slowly starts walking over after a moment.
I hear him laugh faintly, followed by, "it's a date."
I can't help but smile, shaking my head slightly.
Definitely platonic soulmates.