december 14 - receiving horrible presents
1D Fanfic/Picture This Extra
Harry/Bea
*
Harry couldn't believe he was sitting here, another Christmas gone, with his sweetheart at his side. He'd never questioned that he and Bea would make it for the long haul. She was it for him. But it had been a long hard year — what with the band going on tour again and Bea starting up her NPO. It had been great because Bea had come along on tour to take photos and they'd gotten to see places in the world together that Harry could never have dreamed of. On top of that, the NPO was going really great. Bea even had a small staff working with her now, which was admittedly just the girls from her therapy group who needed work out of uni but they were a good team, worked well together, and it made Bea happy.
And a happy Bea meant a happy Harry.
Now they were back in London to celebrate their 'One Direction' Christmas with the other lads and everything was going smashingly. Niall had come over early so him and Bea could make the turkey together this year and they'd had such a great time that Bea was completely distracted, forgetting about the fact that her dad wasn't around (again) and that her mum would never be around anymore. She was able to let loose and have a good time. It had been jokes and laughs all evening, no tears, and Harry counted that as a win.
"Presents!" Bea cried excitedly as she tossed packages at each of the boys. Harry sat back, prepared to watch his mates open their gifts. He was surprised when Bea handed him a package as well.
"Shouldn't we do our presents later?" he asked confused. He figured she would have wanted to do their presents in private so that none of the presents from the boys was overshadowed by Harry's gift, and vice versa.
"There wouldn't be a point in waiting," Bea said with a grin as she handed over the gift. Harry took it warily. "Go on everyone. Open them up."
They all ripped through the packaging at the same time, pulling out nearly identical hats. They were quite obviously hand-knit because the stitches were large and uneven, not the type seen with machine knits. All five of them received a navy blue hat with their names stitched onto the front in white. Harry fingered the stitching, his fingers snagging on a hole from a dropped stitch. He figured it was the reason Bea had put names on in the first place.
"I know they're not the best," Bea said in a self-deprecating sort of way as her cheeks blushed red. She was wringing her hands nervously as her eyes jumped between the five of them. "I'm still a beginner."
Harry caught Liam's eye and followed his friend's gaze down to the hat in Liam's hand. Liam stuck two fingers through a hole near the pom pom on the top of his hat and wiggled them. Harry bit his lip to stop himself from laughing aloud.
"They're, uh, they're great," Niall said weakly as he pulled the hat over his head. The brim was sort of loose and didn't hold well so it slipped backward with the weight of the pom pom.
"You don't like them," Bea said quietly as she looked around the room. The bright smile that had graced her lips not two minutes earlier was gone, replaced by a sort of mortified expression. "You hate them."
"No, sweetheart," Harry said but even to his own ears it sounded inauthentic. He didn't hate it, not really, but he wasn't sure he'd ever wear the hat and he knew that Bea would feel bad if he didn't.
"It's sweet you made these," Louis said as he fingered the pom pom on his own hat, "but is this, like, all there is?"
"I don't understand." Bea frowned, her brow scrunching up. Her eyes were crinkled up in a way that Harry recognized. It was the same crinkling she got when she was about to cry. He'd thought they'd managed to make it a whole day without tears. They'd been so close.
"It's just, I mean, I like it," Louis said slowly, choosing his words very carefully, "but it's just sort of a small gift, isn't it? Compared to what I got you, at least."
Harry was glad someone else had said it because it would have made him sound like a shit boyfriend if he'd come right out and said that this was nothing compared to the new camera lens he had wrapped upstairs waiting for her to open. He knew that the other guys had made a generous contribution to her NPO for her present and relative to that, the hats were lacking.
"Let me see if I've got this straight," Bea said quietly, frowning hard at the ground. "You don't think that my present is good enough."
"It's not that —" Liam was quick to say but the damage was already done. When Bea looked up, she was furious. It had been a very long time since Harry had seen Bea get this angry about anything.
"So because I didn't spend hundreds of dollars in a store on something that you don't need anyway, my present doesn't count, is that it? I guess it doesn't matter that I made them myself. I bought the yarn. I knit the fucking things. Doesn't that give it some worth?"
"Bumblebee —"
"Don't, Niall." Bea surprised them all by jumping to her feet. "I can't believe this," she said with a shake of her head, laughing sardonically. "I can't fucking believe this."
"Sweetheart, calm down," Harry said because she wasn't handling herself very well and it had been a long time since she'd grappled with her emotions like this. She'd been off her medication for a while now and he didn't want to do anything to push her back toward it.
"Don't tell me to calm down," she said in a low hiss that signalled trouble ahead. Harry had a feeling they'd really overstepped the line on this one.
She stormed quite suddenly from the room, stomping her way through the hall and up the stairs. Harry's eyes drifted upward, following the sounds of her footsteps. He cringed when she slammed a door shut.
"Should someone go after her?" Zayn asked, looking pointedly at Harry like this is your job, deal with it.
No one needed to move because Bea was on the move again and she stomped her way right back down the stairs. She came back into the living room hefting a huge cardboard box that was way too big for her to manage. Harry jumped to his feet to help her. She slammed the box into his chest so hard the he lost his breath, wheezing a bit.
"Bring that to the car," Bea barked at him and then she sent a withering look to the four other boys sitting on the floor of the living room, looking absolutely petrified. "Get dressed. We're going out."
"Where?" Niall asked nervously but Bea was already gone, muttering under her breath as she threw open the coat closet and yanked her coat out.
"Get up," Harry hissed at his bandmates, eyeing Bea warily to make sure he hadn't caught her attention. "Do what she says."
He wasn't sure what to do with this Bea. She never got mad at them like this. He'd seen her furious like this with her mom and with Ally but never with him or the other boys. He wasn't sure what to make of it. He figured that doing what she said would appease her.
He hoped so.
-
Bea drove them into London, weaving through the streets on a path she had obviously taken before. Harry watched warily from the front seat, his eyes trained on Bea the entire time. Niall and Zayn were in the backseat, completely and utterly silent, and Liam and Louis were following in a car behind. Bea had yet to say a word the entire way. Harry wasn't sure if that was a good thing and a bad thing.
When the car finally came to a stop and Bea craned over the back of the seat to parallel park, Harry took his first glimpse out the window. They were stopped in front of a flower shop but he doubted that was the destination. He scanned the street and then his eyes rested on a building that was brightly lit in the night with a line of people stretched out front. The sign read Good Shepherd Shelter and he started to piece together what was happening.
"Get the box," Bea said in a flat voice before she climbed out of the car. Harry exchanged looks with Zayn and Niall before getting out himself. It was Niall that circled around to the back to get the box from the trunk. Harry stepped up behind Bea without touching her, worried that she might rip off a limb if he made an attempt.
All five of them crowded into the building behind Bea. It was like a switch flipped and the second Bea was in the warm building, she was smiling from ear to ear. Many of the men and women crowded inside, eating their Christmas dinner, greeted Bea warmly. Kids that look malnourished and tired brightened at the sight of her. Bea said hello to half of them, greeted the other half by name. A woman who worked for the shelter leaned over to give Bea a hug before going back to serving potatoes onto plates.
Harry began to get an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach. It took him a moment before he realized it was shame. Twenty minutes ago, he'd been complaining because his girlfriend hadn't spent enough money on him. Surrounded by people who didn't have a home to go to that night, he was horrified with himself, so angry at himself for ever even thinking something like that. He was so lucky to have what he did. What right did he have to demand more?
He wasn't the only one feeling the way he did based on the way the four men behind him had their eyes trained on the ground. The tips of Niall's ears were bright red and Liam was playing nervously with the hem of his jacket. When Louis met Harry's gaze, they shared a moment of mutual shame and then both of them averted their eyes.
Bea walked them to the back where a table of presents was piled high. Harry imagined they were for the children participating in the Christmas dinner that night who otherwise wouldn't have a present. Standing around the table were three women Harry recognized from Bea's NPO — Megan, Natalia, and Lauren — and they were all standing in front of boxes similar to the one Niall was carrying on Bea's behalf. They waved enthusiastically as the lot of them approached.
"You managed to convince them," Natalia said as she studied the five of them with wide eyes. She was always a little starstruck when Harry came to visit Bea's small office so it was no surprise that her cheeks pinked as she stared at the group of them.
"You owe me ten quid," Lauren said to Megan haughtily who rolled her eyes and reached into her pocket, slapping the tenner into her mate's hand.
Bea didn't bother to correct them or tell them that there was no convincing because there was no choice. She just smiled weakly at her friends and waved Niall toward the table. He put the box down carefully but when he moved to step back, Bea said, "open it."
Niall opened the flaps to reveal the contents and when he saw what was inside, Harry felt his stomach in his throat. It was a box full of hats, hand-knit in a variety of different colours. They looked identical to the ones that all five of them had received a half hour ago, just without the names stitched in. There had to be at least a hundred hats in the box. When the other girls opened their boxes, they had scarves and gloves and socks. They weren't the greatest — the knitting job was a little sloppy because they were all beginners like Bea — but the girls seemed proud of them.
"What do you think?" Megan asked the five of them, looking between them. "We've been knitting them in group since early February just so we had something to do while we talked. It was Bea's idea to store them for Christmas. Isn't she just brilliant?"
"Yeah," Harry murmured when the other boys stayed silent, "she is."
"Well, we've got some gifts to hand out," Natalia said as she picked up her box of scarves. It was too heavy so she had to set it back down. "Alright, maybe not. Little by little I guess." She pulled a handful out of the box and draped them over her forearm, presenting one of each colour. The other girls began collecting their own knitwear to pass out.
When they'd gone off to gift the people in the room with warm winter clothes, Bea rounded on her five best friends. The look she gave them sunk a hole right through Harry's chest. "If you can convince me that you deserve a better present than the people sitting in this room, I'll buy you whatever you want."
She walked off with a handful of hats and Harry watched her go, in complete wonderment at who she was. He was still blown away by the size of her heart, the limitless of her generosity, her belief in the best things in life, when life had always given her the worst it could throw at her.
"We fucked up," Louis muttered. Harry looked over at his four best mates and grimaced.
"That's an understatement," Zayn countered with a shake of his head. "I feel terrible."
"I feel like I'm even less deserving of that hat than everyone in this room," Niall added, blowing out a long breath. "I feel like scum."
"You're not alone," Harry murmured, chewing on his lip. He caught sight of Bea crouched down in front of an expectant mother who was sitting with her young child. Bea handed the mum a hat and a smaller version to her son. The woman's eyes glossed over with tears and she pulled Bea into a tight hug. The gratitude on her face broke Harry's heart.
"If I was her, I'd never forgive us," Liam said sullenly. "When did we become this?" he asked as he looked up at his bandmates. "We swore we'd never be this way. How did we let this happen?"
"Maybe Bea did us a favour," Zayn said as he looked in his direction. "Maybe we needed a wake-up call, a reminder of what's going on."
Because it was easy to forget when everything was going right for them that there were people in the world whose lives were going very wrong. That there were people struggling to make ends meet when they would never have that concern for the rest of their lives. There were some people who were overjoyed just to have hot food and a place to come in from the cold this Christmas.
"Hi guys." The voice was quiet and all of them turned to look behind Harry where a small woman wearing the shelter's logo on her shirt was standing, looking nervous. "Um, sorry to interrupt."
"It's not a problem," Harry said quickly.
"I was just wondering, since you're here, if you wouldn't mind signing a few things? Maybe taking some pictures?"
It seemed meaningless, those things, when they could be doing so much more. "We want to help however we can," Harry said. Niall nodded beside him and Liam echoed the sentiment with a 'definitely'. "Put us to work."
The woman flushed a bit but nodded all the same, smiling widely. "I hope you lads are ready to really work."
-
They did it all. They served food to start. Niall began singing carols under his breath as he circled the room and within a few minutes they were leading a sing-a-long with everyone in the room joining in. Harry and Zayn got elbow deep in hot water to wash dishes once dinner was done and the other three switched off to wash up after dessert. They did take pictures and signed autographs but they also played with the kids and talked with the teenagers and parents. Harry found himself enjoying every activity. The smile he was wearing wasn't forced.
It was extremely humbling being there that night. Some people were quick to share their stories, to talk about the hardships that had brought them to the shelter that night. Others didn't want to talk about it at all and that was okay too. All the same, Harry found himself forgetting the other side of his life — Harry Styles of One Direction — and being just Harry instead.
It was the reason he had fallen in love with Bea in the first place. Because she'd always been able to see him for who he was. She was able to bring out his true personality instead of the professional mask he was forced to wear sometimes. She had reminded him of who he was outside of music. And she'd done it again, bringing them here tonight. She'd helped them step away from the celebrity life, which was so easy to get caught up in, and remember what it was like to be part of a larger community.
She amazed him, really. That was the only way he could describe it. She just amazed him.
He only crossed paths with Bea a couple of times but they didn't speak. She was too busy giving out hats and chatting with people, wishing them happy tidings and talking with them about what was going on in their lives. Harry found himself watching her sometimes, at the easy way she interacted with everyone. Women loved her, men loved her, kids loved her. And he couldn't blame them. She was pretty exceptional.
She hadn't stopped for a moment, not until it was much later in the evening and things began slowing down. Harry was surrounded by a circle of kids, a little girl, Abby, curled up on his lap. He had been elected to read a story because he had the best story voice (it was decided by a vote). He was three quarters of the way through How the Grinch Stole Christmas and he had forty young faces trained on him, earnestly absorbing his every word. It was so different from the way he was usually watched when he spoke and sang. It was so much more personal and touching.
"He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!" Harry read, throwing his voice dramatically. Abby in his lap gasped excitedly every time he changed his voice which made it worth it. "Somehow or other, it came just the same! And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling: 'How could it be so?'"
Harry saw Bea sit down on the carpet beside two kids near the back out of the corner of his eye. He was holding the book up to show off the illustrations so he was able to take a moment to watch her as he flipped the page. She'd swept her blond hair up into a bun on top of her head and her pale skin was flushed from exertion. But she was smiling brightly and there was a twinkle in her eye as she looked around at the kids. A young boy snuggled into her side and she beamed down at him before cuddling him close.
It occurred to Harry that Bea was going to make a great mum someday. But of course she was.
"'It came without ribbons! It came without tags!'" Harry cried dramatically with a funny voice that he'd given to the Grinch's speech throughout the story. There were giggles from the kids. "'It came without packages, boxes or bags!' And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! 'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!'"
Harry felt a lump in his throat and he had to pause because the words escaped him completely. Trust a children's book to spell out the lesson that Bea had been trying to teach them all along. Of course, Christmas didn't come from a store. When he thought about what made Christmas so special to him, it was the time he spent with family and friends, it was traditions and habits. It wasn't about the presents at all.
They had thought Bea's hats were horrible gifts when they'd first seen them — they'd been so stupid. Bea's gifts were the best kind of gifts. Gifts from the heart. Gifts with love and care woven into them, quite literally in this case. She'd taken the time to craft them something special, not just buy something meaningless in a store.
But that hadn't been the only gift she'd given Harry that night. She'd given him the gift of humility, of empathy, of compassion. And she'd done it in that sort of Bea way she had where she helped him get it all on his own which made it even more satisfying and important.
As he flipped the page, he looked up and met her eyes. She was smiling lightly at him and he figured he was forgiven. He was still going to apologize because she deserved that. And he'd be grovelling for a bit, even if she didn't ask for it.
He couldn't describe how good it felt to know that he hadn't lost her completely. She still thought he was good. That was what mattered. The money didn't matter; Bea's opinion did.
When the story was done and the kids had scattered, back to their parents, Harry sat alone on the carpet. Bea was sitting across from him, just waiting. Eventually she rolled up onto her knees and crawled the distance over to him. She climbed quite boldly into his lap and Harry opened his arms to her, cuddling her close when she was situated comfortably between his legs. He let out a relieved sigh as he pressed his face into her hair for a moment, so happy that she wasn't angry any longer.
"I'm sorry," he breathed against her temple, letting his lips press softly there. "I can't believe how much of a wanker I was —"
"You're forgiven," Bea cut him off, craning her head back to look at him. "I think you learned your lesson."
He nodded furiously and she reached up to pat his cheek gently. He nuzzled his cheek into her palm and she let him, her hand curving around the side of his face. "I'm so lucky to have you," he murmured to her, the conversation becoming more private.
"And why is that, Mr. Styles?"
"You keep me grounded," he told her with utter seriousness. "You lend me perspective when I lose it."
"It's easy to forget," she said, "unless you've lived it. Perspective is gained, not given."
God, she was so fucking brilliant.
"I love the hat," Harry told her.
"You don't have to lie Harry. If you didn't like it, that's okay."
"I did like it," he insisted. "I like it because you made it. You took the time to knit it yourself, you stitched my name in —"
"To cover a hole," Bea grumbled.
"It was a real, meaningful gesture," Harry said as he kissed the pout off her face, "and that's why I love it."
"I love you," she said quietly, chewing nervously on her lip. When she looked up, waiting for a reaction, Harry pressed his lips to hers in a searing kiss that took their breath away. Bea was grinning like an idiot when Harry finally pulled back to catch his breath.
"I love you so much, sweetheart." He tightened his hold around her, pulling her as close to him as he could get her. "I love you so much that I'm even going to wear that hat."
The real gift that night was the sound of her laughter, a true full-bodied laugh that instinctively made him smile.
-
Daily Mail, December 29th, 2015
We're not sure what's in the water that those One Direction boys have been drinking but it can't be anything good judging by the fashion trend that they've all adopted in the last couple of days. All five members have been spotted individually in and around London wearing what may be the ugliest hats imaginable. Quite clearly handmade by someone with only the barest grasp of the art of knitting, they're oddly shaped and problematically crafted, with horrid pom poms to boot. And in case we'd gotten confused, they've all got the names of our favourite band members stitched in as a kind reminder.
Wearing the hats must be an act of the truest form of love. Or it's simply a mad delusion. Either way, this is us kindly pointing to the bin, showing the boys of One Direction where those atrocious hats belong.
@BeaScott
I guess @DailyMailUK didn't like my handiwork. If anyone wants an Atrocious Hat, hit me up.
@edsheeran
@BeaScott I'd like to place my order please
it's like true lies or something