Time seemed to past like a lightning bolt. Before I even realized it, Chicago began to warm with spring. As much as I hated this city in the winter, I LOVED it in the spring: everything green and growing, flowers and trees blooming. Everything felt new. Alive. A rebirth of sorts, and I was more than ready for it. I think most people in the city were.
There had been no new information on my stalker, but things seemed quiet on that front, too. I was getting various anonymous messages on my OnlyPatrons and other social media, but nothing threatening per say. Just the usual "I'm hiding behind a keyboard so I can say whatever I want to this woman who shows her nipples" bullshit. No attacks at the house, no violence of any sort, and yet... I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched. Not really when I was at home so much, but when I was out. Whether work, or simply hanging out with friends, it always felt like someone was watching me. I'd voiced my concerns to the police and Asher, and pretty much everyone around me, but nothing (or no one, rather) had presented itself, and if whomever this person was, wasn't making moves, there wasn't much that could be done.
It also seemed like all the guesses Ash and I had about suspects, were wrong. Brock had apparently moved to St. Louis with his new girlfriend, and from everything that the cops could find, hadn't even returned to Chicago since. Ash had them look into both his father and Bridget as well, but again, nothing. All of their time was accounted for, all of their phones and accounts were clear of anything that could pertain to me. Nothing. I was honestly beginning to feel like maybe I had imagined it all. That maybe all of this being on guard and at attention at all times had done nothing but turn my brain into a constant storm of paranoia, but Asher wasn't so sure. He still insisted on the cameras. He still wanted to know about every remotely uncouth message I received. He still watched me like a hawk, and it was... suffocating to say the least.
Despite the fact that we'd really only been dating a handful of months, things between Asher and I had gotten tense. He'd gotten lost in his desire to protect me, and although I loved that he wanted to, it was draining. Everything we did, every move we made, he overanalyzed and came up with hypothetical scenarios that would probably never happen. I think if he could've just built a panic bunker and shoved me into it, he would've. He was almost obsessive about it. It was this dark cloud hanging over his head, and I was beginning to feel like my Asher no longer existed.
But then, just as I was beginning to wonder how much more I could take: he got a new job. Asher took a position heading up the legal department of a college buddy's construction company. They'd only recently expanded enough that having their own lawyer at their disposal seemed in their best interest and the second Asher was asked, he jumped at the chance. He even got to hire two of his own assistants, and instantly, things began to feel lighter. He was busy, and he got out of the house. As much as he insisted the opposite, I knew that just hanging around his house or mine for six weeks was doing nothing but weighing him down. Between the stalker business, and him starting to worry about his future, it was clear he'd slipped into a bit of a rut. He was darker, quieter, and the smile I loved so much became rarer and rarer with each passing day. However, the second he started working again, the second he had something else to focus his attention on, I got my goofball back. That wasn't to say he didn't still worry. Of course, he did, but it wasn't as intense. It wasn't making it hard for me to breathe anymore. It felt like a normal amount of concern. And the longer time went on with no major occurrences, the lighter the weight of it all got. The time we spent together went back to being nothing but love and laughter and fun and more sex than I think I'd ever had in my life. It finally started to feel like he was around because he wanted to be, not because he felt like he NEEDED to be, in case something happened. The Honeymoon phase was back on track, and I... I couldn't have been happier.
Well, until my laptop decided to die.
"GODDAMMIT!" I shrieked, slamming the lid down. "What the fuck am I supposed to do?!"
"Baby, we can get you a new laptop," Asher called from the bathroom where he readied himself for his third week at the office. Oof, seeing that man in a suit every day was well and truly my kryptonite. BuisnessPorn was a market that Asher Wilde had cornered.
"I have a bunch of shit I need to post TODAY, or people are going to start getting pissed. I have set days I do things, Asher. There's a reason people pay me."
"Yeah, well, shit happens."
I whined like a temper tantrum throwing child and kicked my feet against the shaggy black rug under my desk chair. "You're not HELPING!"
I heard his laugh before his face appeared in the doorway, shaving cream above the line of his permanent scruff, clear eyes glittering like an expensive pile of diamonds. "What would you like me to do, darling?"
"Shoot me."
"Seems a bit extreme, doesn't it?" Asher retorted with a chuckle as he sauntered in, all long legs and pinstriped boxer shorts. He placed his hands on the back of my chair before dipping his head and pressing a kiss to my temple. "Mine's downstairs on the table. Use it if you need to."
"Don't you need it for work?" I asked quizzically.
"Nah. I have a work computer at the office."
"And WHY didn't you mention this twenty minutes ago when I started panicking?!"
Asher smirked, heading back toward the bathroom. "You were too busy screaming obscenities to listen."
"You're a jerk."
"Liar."
I reached up to brush my hair behind my ears and instead came back with fingertips full of shaving cream. "Oh! You are DEAD!" I sprung up from the desk chair just as Asher started giggling like a villain from some kids' show and darted into the bedroom, trying to get the door shut as I slammed my palms into it. "You can't lock me out of my own room!"
"I can if I'm scared for my life!" Asher shouted in return. "How are you so fucking strong?!"
"I work out, bitch." I shoved my shoulder into the door, HARD, and Asher leapt back with a shriek, springing onto the bed like the floor had turned to lava. "Do you always scream like a Disney fucking princess or..."
"You're terrifying!" Asher laughed as I lunged at him.
"Get over here and fight me like a man." I sprang up onto the bed and started jabbing at him. Asher dodged and laughed before taking my wrists in his much larger hand and winding my arms around my back.
"Stop it," he snarled playfully before smacking a kiss onto my lips. "I have to get ready for work, you weirdo."
"You started it!"
"I'm gonna fucking finish it, too. Get over here." Asher let go of my wrists just to wrap his arms around my waist and bodyslam me into the mattress.
I giggled as I squirmed under his body, but I could quickly feel that this little play fight was going to lead to something much more enjoyable, or at least more pleasurable. "You're gonna be real late if you don't get off me."
"Good thing I'm the boss, huh?" Asher flashed a devilish grin as his mouth moved closer to mine. He quickly closed the rest of the space between us and crushed his mouth against mine, his tongue instantly prying between my lips with a furious swipe.
And I melted. Like I always did. Like I always wanted to.
Because this man of mine was absolutely everything.
Roughly ninety minutes later, our intense quickie had ended (with mutual explosions, thank you very much), and Asher headed off to work. I took my time showering and shaving and doing all the self-care things I adored. Body scrubs and face masks, lotions and oils. That night we were headed to dinner with Lita and Ryder for the first time since Asher had started his job, and then darts like every Tuesday night. I loved our little routine, just as much as I loved the man I slept beside every night... even if I had yet to actually say the words to him. Literally everyone else knew: Lita, Ryder, my brother... I was certain Asher knew, I was just struggling to get the words past my lips, no matter how much I knew them to be true. But tonight...
Tonight felt like the night.
I decided to shave again, just in case I had missed a spot.
Around ten I finally settled in at my desk with Asher's laptop connected to my drive. Luckily, I always made sure I had back-ups, so thankfully my computer shitting out wasn't really going to prevent me from getting things done. I set things to upload and answered some messages, even booking a makeup job for a wedding in August before I decided I needed more coffee, but just as I got up to head to the kitchen, Asher's Mac chimed with an incoming message.
"Do I need to head over? She going anywhere today?"
The text had come from somebody simply saved in his contacts as "T" and instantly I was confused. Everything in my body told me to just shut the window and not pry, but as I opened it to silence the notifications (and my curiosity), I saw the dots that meant Asher was replying.
"I think she's staying home. So, a couple drive-bys would probably be ok. Already got the camera feed open on my desk. If she leaves, I'll let you know."
My eyes went wide and then narrowed and then widened again as I watched the mysterious T's reply come in.
"Sounds good. I'll head out in a bit to do a patrol."
Was he...
Were they...
They had to be discussing me, right? Where else would Ash have cameras set up? Why he was watching them at work, I had no idea. Nothing had happened in almost two months... but T... who the fuck...
"Just be careful, Trey. She's starting to get suspicious that someone is following her. I can only deny so much."
"Ten Four."
I felt a weight slam against my chest like I'd just been punched by a fucking grizzly bear. Trey had been following me. I wasn't losing my mind, and every time I'd vented to Asher and he had told me to relax, he KNEW. He knew I wasn't crazy. He had asked this person to trail me. HE was the REASON I was feeling so fucking paranoid and... he lied about it. He lied about it so many times... but... but why?
Why would he do that? Why would he lie to my face time after time and insist that I was just on edge? Why would...
These were questions I wasn't going to be able to answer, so with hot tears burning in my eyes, I slammed the laptop shut, tucking it under my arm as I headed into the bedroom to get dressed. I had questions that needed answering, and there was only one person who could do that.
"Hey, baby," Asher greeted, trying to keep the concern that his furrowed brows showed, out of his voice as I stormed into his office, all but slamming the door behind me. "What's the matter?"
"Who's T?"
I watched his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, hard. "I, um... who?" he asked, reaching up and scratching the back of his neck.
"Stop," I snapped, my eyes glued to his. "Who the fuck is Trey?"
"Dylan..."
I tossed his laptop on his desk with a loud thud, sending a cup of pens clattering to the ground. "Tell me the fucking truth, Asher, or I swear to God..."
"Okay. Okay," Asher interrupted. He took a deep breath and rose from his chair, coming around the desk. He reached for my hand, but I yanked it back, causing him to wince, but I didn't care. I was too heated to give a fuck about his feelings in this moment. "Trey is a friend..."
"Fuck off," I laughed humorlessly as I rolled my eyes. "You have someone following me, don't you?"
Asher gulped again, his eyes zeroing in on the classic blue office carpet beneath our feet. "Yes," he said softly, nodding his head.
All the air in my lungs whooshed out in a single breath and my head started to spin. I mean, at this point, I had suspected, but to hear him confirm it? I instantly felt like I was going to throw up. I had desperately hoped he'd tell me I was wrong. I desperately wanted to believe the man I was in love with wasn't the one violating my privacy... that he wasn't part of causing my paranoia but...
"How could you?" I asked, my voice barely even a whisper as a tear fell from the inner corner of my eye. "Why, Asher?"
"Because!" Asher exclaimed, his own eyes cloudy. Whether it was from guilt or the fact he'd been caught, I'd never know, and frankly, I didn't care. "I just... I wanted someone there if something happened when I wasn't around. I wanted to make sure you were safe!"
"You LIED to me," I stated through gritted teeth, no longer able to keep the tears at bay. "I told you I felt like I was being watched, and you brushed it off like I was just paranoid! You fucking knew who it was!"
"I know, but, baby, it's not someone bad," Asher insisted, reaching for me again, just to get the same result. "Listen, I know I should've told you..."
"You should've asked me if it was okay!" I shouted. "You promised me that we would communicate! That we would make decisions together and instead you fucking send someone to spy on me?!"
"No, it's not like that..."
"Then what's it like, Asher?" I fucking growled. I was so angry, I could feel my bones vibrating under my skin. I felt like I was a rubber band that had been stretched past its limits. "How is this any different than whoever else has been fucking with me? Now I have TWO strangers following me around while I was fucking unaware?"
"Dylan..." Asher pleaded, once again reaching out.
"Don't fucking touch me," I snapped. Asher quickly brought his hand back to his side, his eyes widened in surprise. "You PROMISED. You PROMISED that we would talk about all of this, and then you just installed the cameras anyway. I let it go. I let you do it because I thought it would make you feel better. But this? I can't be okay with this, Asher!"
"I'm sorry," Asher apologized, his nervous gaze locked on mine. "I was just trying to keep you safe."
"No! You were just trying to ease YOUR mind," I corrected. "If you wanted to keep me safe, you would've been honest instead of letting me feel like I was losing my fucking mind! You would've told me so that I knew I wasn't going to get jumped if I turned down a dark fucking corner!"
"Baby, please..."
I just shook my head and wrapped my arms around my chest. "I can't. I can't do this. Call him off."
"Dylan."
"Call him off, Asher! Tell him his job his done and call him off!"
"Okay! Okay. I will. I'll call him."
"Will you?" I asked, my anger morphing into a heavy sadness instead. "Or will you just tell him to be more careful so you can spy on me without me knowing?"
"Baby..." One last time he reached for me, and one last time I stepped back, this step causing the handle of his door to press into my spine.
"Don't come back to my house tonight."
"Wait, what?" Asher asked, his baritone voice swooping up in pitch. "What do you mean?"
"I need some space. I need to breathe..."
"Dylan, don't do this," Asher stated. "Please. I'll call him off, I swear. I'll call him right now."
"It doesn't matter. You already broke my trust. You already violated my peace of mind, no matter if you were trying to protect me or not... "
"Dylan, baby, come on," Asher pleaded. "I love you..."
"Don't you dare," I stated firmly, swallowing down the softball size lump that had built in my throat. "You don't. You don't lie to someone you love."
"I didn't mean..."
"It doesn't matter what you meant, Asher. It matters what you did!" I exclaimed, trying my damnedest to keep the quiver from my voice. "Don't come back to my house. Don't text me. Don't call me. I'll talk to you when I can stand to look at you."
"Dylan, please. PLEASE don't do this."
"YOU did this, Asher," I stated before turning toward the door. As my clenched fist opened to wrap around the handle, I glanced back at him. "Maybe it's been you the whole time. Maybe this was just some elaborate scheme to get me to talk to you again after things ended in Hawaii..."
"What?!" Asher cried, his usually tanned complexion going completely white. "That's fucking crazy, Dylan, and you know it. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't hurt you..."
"Funny because I feel pretty fucking hurt right now."
"Dylan, please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."
"Nothing like making yourself look like the hero," I stated with a snide smile. "Is that what this was? A surefire way to chase me into your arms, so you could swoop in like some White Knight?"
"Stop it. That's not fair."
"Call off your dog and stay away from me or I'm calling the police."
"Dylan. Stop."
I opened the door just slightly, and looked back at him, the heartbreak in my eyes mirrored in his. "You picked a hell of a time to break my heart, Asher Wilde," I stated with a sniff and a wave of my head. "I was ready to let the final wall fall, but... you... you just built them all back up."
"Dylan, don't leave. Please," Asher begged, stepping toward me. "Baby, we can talk about this. We can figure this out. Just..."
I shook my head again. "Goodbye, Asher."
"Dylan. DYLAN!"
Asher shouted at me as I shut the door tightly behind me and willed myself to walk to the elevators. All I wanted to do give in to my tears and collapse right there, but I somehow managed to run to the elevators, hoping to prevent him from following me.
Now I just had to make it home before I lost it completely.
Then again... maybe home wasn't where I wanted to go because I wasn't sure it would even feel like home anymore.