Due to Anneliese, Sarah cut her visit short. Everyone here wanted them to stay but Sarah can't live here with Anneliese, looking at her Sarah felt madness. "Look it's raining outside" Aunt Beatrice said, "you should stay today."
Taehyung looked at Sarah, he didn't mind staying here, he was honestly enjoying it, the farms, country-side. Before Sarah could respond to Beatrice, her grandfather spoke, "yes yes just for today and don't argue."
"Sarah we actually planned for all of us to go out and enjoy, you know" Anneliese spoke with excitement "we are all together after such long time." Sarah just nodded "okay grandpa." With everyone busy with their talks and stuff, Sarah was alone with her thoughts again.
She would glance at Anneliese every now and then, looking at her fury. Sarah wondered why she never spoke a word to her mother or grandmother while Anneliese and those two servants were doing the bad with her. Maybe that's because when she told Anneliese about it, she acted like it wasn't a big deal or maybe because Anneliese was doing the same stuff with her, Sarah thought it must be fine. But what was in her mind when she was young, why did she never uttered a word.
Did not speaking about it then and speaking it out now meant nothing because it was too late... Did it her the bad guy? Was it all her fault? She just wanted her mother to say, it wasn't her fault. But she never said that. It made Sarah think it was her fault no matter how many times she told herself that she was the victim...
But it was her fault, she was the monster.
The monsters wer not under my bed.
The monstes were inside my head.
I fear no monster, for no monster I see..
Because all this time the monster has been me.
**
"Let's play freeze!" Eui- soo suggested. "How do you play that?" Taehyung asked. They were back at Sarah's parents house. "Well it is like hide and seek, only you don't have to hide but run" Hae won started explaining, "if you are caught by the Iceman, you are freezed and brought to the house, suppose this area is the house" she went on "now you have to wait until another person come, touch you and say unfreeze and you can run again."
Taehyung nodded "okay" though he was still a bit confuse but he was sure he'll get it when he'll play. Sarah who was standing aside, she wasn't supposed to be here but in her room but Taehyung dragged her here with him and now what play with a bunch of teenagers and kids.
"Rock, paper, scissors!" Roars of laughter as it turned out Taehyung lost and now he has to be the Iceman. Sarah leaned against a tree as Taehyung started counting, at the count of ten he started running. One minute Sarah was looking at her nail and next she saw Taehyung running towards.
She let out a small shriek and started running the opposite direction, "why are you running after me?" Sarah was running fast but Taehyung was faster and eventually he caught her by the waist, they both lost balance and fell down face first.
Taehyung laughed while Sarah groaned dusting her clothes, watching her cousins laughing at them. She glared as he dragged her to the house, "you are freezed!" Taehyung gave her a playful smile.
**
Jin bumped into a woman on street, he was about to apologize but "oh Thea you look like a ghost." Thea looked at the person carefully, for a second he wasn't able to recognize Jin because of his hoodie, glasses and mask. "Oh hi.." she said lazily, what are you doing on the streets.
"You come with me" Jin grabbed her arm and they entered the nearby restaurant. They both sat at a table in the corner. "Coffee? You want coffee?"
"Do you think at this hour at a restaurant?"
"Two cappuccino," Jin spoke to the waiter. "Yes because I own the restaurant." Thea looked around, "oh right.."
"What happened to you?" Jin asked. "Oh just period cramps" Thea said. Jin cleared his throat as his cheeks flushed, "oh right." Thea sighed, "when I'm on my period, I'm so angry all the time and today I met a client so rude" she sighed again. "Aish that motherfucker!" She slammed her hand on the table but not too hard as she was aware she is sitting in restaurant.
But thankfully their coffee came, they both silently took sips of their drinks. "Coffee doesn't taste the usual" Jin said. "It needs some salt" he added salt to his cup some "Black pepper" he brought the cup to his and took a tiny sip, "nah something is still missing. Soy sauce! Waiter!" Jin raised his hand.
"Jin are you crazy!" Thea asked in a hushed voice. "Please bring me a new cup of coffee and take this one " Jin and Thea both looked at each other and then brusted into laughter. "You thought I was serious?"
"Yes." Thea smiled.
"I was just joking at least you smiled" he said. They talked a bit more, mostly Jin. Thea wasn't that talkative but she was a listener, an observe. Jin quite down and took a long sip of his coffee. He sighed, "I don't have anything to say but will I shut up?"
"Never."
**
"Unnie look what I found" heejae said dropping a box next to Sarah who was examining the flowers. "What?" Sarah asked. "These are some of your drawings- "
"Throw them away" Sarah didn't let her sister finish her words. "Why-"
"Hee-jae shut up and leave me alone!" Sarah stood up and walked away, sat on a bench a little further ahead. "What happened?" Taehyung asked hee-jae, stood next to her and watched Sarah's back. "Nothing I just wanted to show her these" she tilted her chin towards the box she holding.
Taehyung took some paintings and looked at them carefully, "you made them" he asked. "No she did.." Heejae replied. They were beautiful, "unnie actually brunt most of them.. I found these few in the storeroom."
"Why did she burn them?"
"Oh just silly fight with mom and then she said she'll never draw again.. and she never did" Heejae looked at her sister with sadness, all she could was look. Sarah's siblings knew what she was going through, theirs situation wasn't any different but not as bad as hers. They never where able to console and comfort each other, maybe the siblings never knew what comfort was.
After Heejae walked off, Taehyung made his way to Sarah, a beautiful rose and a sketchbook, he took from the box, in his hands. "Here you go" Taehyung handed her the rose and sat next to her, "be careful, those thrones really hurt" he said putting his thumb in his mouth. Sarah didn't say anything at first and stared at the flower.
"What for?"
"Nothing. I just thought I should give you one-"
"For my own garden?" She smiled.
"Yes" he chuckled, "you should only look at my intentions and they are pure."
"Thank you."
Taehyung looked at her but she was focused on the flower. Taehyung cleared his thought "ok now sit straight" he opened the sketchbook which Sarah just noticed now. "What?"
"I'm gonna draw you" he announced, "I'm also good at this you know. I'm multi talented you should be proud to be my wife-" he stopped when found Sarah's eyes on him, he couldn't read them. "Don't bother yourself with my shit" she spoke with an icy cold tone. Did he think Sarah wouldn't recognize her own sketchbook.
"I wasn't-" she abruptly stood up and walked away from him, it was Heejae's doomsday.
At the farm, Sarah wanted to see Autumn since she'll be going back to Seoul after attending Fiona's engagement tomorrow, she didn't know when she'll back here again not any time soon though. "Oiii what are you doing!" Sarah shouted loudly, running towards her cousin, Aiden. Sarah pushed him forcefully, "how dare you hit him?" Sarah said as she punched Aiden right across the face. Aiden who is was still in shock, wasn't expecting Sarah to be here.
The whip from his hand fell down, when he was aware of his surrounding he stepped towards Sarah but she pushed him back again but before the fight could continue, Adam and Mike separated them. "let go of me! How dare he hit autumn!"
Noona calm down Adam hold her tighter but she wasn't backing off, so Taehyung helped Adam, "let go of me!" It was until now that Taehyung realized how strong she was. Sarah managed to free herself but it was too late, Mike already dragged Aiden away. She turned and glared at the two men before walking up to her horse to check for any injuries.
Back when Sarah reached home, she heard Aunt Megan yelling and screaming in the living room. Without a single thought she marched towards the room but Heejae and Adam stood in her way. "Get out of my way or you'll both cry for the rest of your lives!" Pushing pass her siblings she entered the living room.
"You bitch, how dare you hit my son!" Seeing Megan's growing step towards herself, Sarah spoke "back off! I'm sure you don't want to bald again."
Back when Sarah was younger, she had a fight with Aiden. Aiden was tearing Sarah's hair and she was trying to punch him which was difficult because of his hands in her hair. Before Sarah's mother could arrive, Megan came and joined her son. Mother and son versus her younger self.
It was more difficult because nearly everyone in the whole house was gathered around them and everyone holding Sarah's hand and she couldn't fight back. Eva came thankfully and yanked megan away from the kids. She then tried to separate Sarah and Kevin but Megan yanked her on the ground by her hair and now she was sitting on top of Eva.
When Sarah freed herself, her vision was a blur, she ran towards Niome thinking it was Megan. "Why are you hitting me?" Niome shouted. Sarah turned around and finally set her eyes on megan. To get the bitch of her mother, Sarah pulled Megan's hair. Noime was trying to loose Sarah's grip, Sarah catch glimpse of Kevin crying and telling her to let go of her mother's hair, her grandmother yelling at the others and trying separate them all.
"Tell your mom to let go of my mother first!"
Niome who was chubbier back then sat on Sarah's arms due to which a big patch of Megan's hair completely fell out in Sarah's hand.
"Uncle Kevin isn't here to take your unconscious body out of here today" Sarah mocked because when Sarah was able to free mother from Megan's grasp, Megan pretended to faint. "Beside this isn't an age to get beaten again, it isn't?"
"Sarah go back to your room!" her Mom pulled her away from her aunt. "I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!" she yelled so suddenly make everyone flinch. "Go back to your room!" But Sarah yanked her mom's hand away. "Look at your daughter such a bitch! She got more than she deserved that's why she's flying so high! Marring to Taehyung makes her think she could do anything with anyone. Scoundrel barbaric woman!"
"Let me show you what kind of a bitch I am!" Sarah shouted stepped towards her aunt with blood in her eyes. Her hands and feet were ice cold but her face flushed red. "Sarah stop it!" Her mom was struggling to hold her down, no one could stop her when she became to this furious, it was as if the power of 10 men came into her, so angry and so strong.
"Get out of here" this time her father said calmly, "go back to your room."
"Not going anywhere."
"I said go to your room!" Her father shouted. "MAKE ME IF YOU CAN!" and that was it, her father raised his hand to slap her but Taehyung caught his hand just in time. He looked at Sarah's father in disbelief, "what are you doing?.."
But before the conversation could continue Sarah grabbed her husband's hand and they both went back to her room. She called a cab and started packing their stuff. She turned to Taehyung, "we are going back to Seoul."
**
Thu, 3 Mar.
I almost forgot about this dairy of my own, reading it again did bring a few tears. Nothing changed, I'm still the same me... I just got married. Married to Kim Taehyung. I can't say it's the most beautiful part of my life.
Today I'm not that sad... For the first time in my whole 25 years of life, someone gave me a flower. Taehyung gave me a flower. I don't think I'll ever throw it away.