#nowplaying
= 知足 (contentment) - Mayday =
🔥🔥🔥
"But I have a husband."
Myungho froze just as he was about to sip on his soup. His downcast eyes could easily pierce through the table. "How long has it been?" He asked in disappointment, no longer sipping on the soup.
I began counting with my fingers. "About... 10 months?"
He grew more and more despondent during our conversation that I lost him at some point. "Hey?" I waved into his face.
"He must be one lucky guy," he muttered softly but audibly. I did my best to control my expression. It was not the time to let my feelings show.
The rest of our dinner was filled with Myungho's depressive sighs and unmotivated conversations. It seemed as if his mind had departed elsewhere. After I paid, we got out of the restaurant and agreed on a stroll to walk off our dinner.
But it felt like I was walking with a man with depression.
"Okay that's it." I confronted Myungho, coming face to face with him. I couldn't take his downcast anymore. "You've been so distracted since I told you I have a husband. Does it bother you that much?"
He didn't agree nor deny.
"Why?" I probed. "We can't be friends anymore if I'm married?"
I honestly don't know why I said that. I myself was confused because I didn't know how to define our relationship.
Myungho kept his eyes on the ground. "I imagined this a hundred times, and I still don't know what to do."
"You don't have to do anything," I told him adamantly.
His eyes went from my hands to my eyes. "Where's your ring?" He wondered.
Feeling flustered, the first thing I did was hide my hands behind my back. Wrong move though, I could have simply said that I left the ring at home.
"Where's your husband?" His gaze on me intensified. There was desperation in his eyes, yearning for the truth.
"W-Why do you care?" I asked back. I was beginning to lose my ground.
He reached for my hands behind me and drew them out to prove that I had no ring on. "Where's the ring, Yujin?" He held firmly onto my wrists.
"I just didn't wear it. Now let go," I said, but the truth is I wasn't really struggling. He didn't forcefully grab me the way Namsan jerk did, so if I wanted to break away from his grip, I could have.
"You're lying, aren't you?"
I clenched my jaw and challenged his piercing gaze.
Yes, I'm obviously lying.
"How long are you going to hold me like this?" I gritted my teeth, trying to act furiously.
"Not until you tell me the truth," he insisted. "A truth that I can believe. You never even told me his name." I had never seen him this desperate before.
Silence filled the air as I debated how much of the truth I should reveal. "His name is Dash, Asian blood like us but born in Canada. We're the same age. Do you want a picture too?" I exhaled a big breath.
This much was enough to discourage him. Myungho finally let go of me and took a big step back. "I see." With shoulders hanging low, he couldn't meet my eyes anymore.
I really wanted to tell him it was just a lie, that I said it because I was afraid of revealing the truth - that I was so happy to see him again.
Because I'm not supposed to be happy, I'm suppose to be over him.
When my phone started buzzing, I pulled it out from my bag to check that it was my mom calling. Guess this is my cue to leave. I looked at Myungho first, putting on my best smile. "It was really nice seeing you again, but erm... I gotta go."
"Right. Me too," he forced up a small smile, seeming distracted by my buzzing phone. I wished I could say something to lighten his mood, but nothing good would come out of my mouth.
"Goodbye," was all I said to cut off the long silence.
"Bye," Myungho responded back, and I walked away first to answer my mom's call.
That was how we concluded the night.
...
I tapped my key card on the hotel door and waited for the pad to flash green, granting me access. Pushing the door open, I walked into the carpeted room, tossed my handbag on the queen-sized bed, kicked my heels aside, and headed for the polished bathroom.
I let my hair fall over as I faced down to the white porcelain basin, my hands pressing down the sides to support my whole body weight, and allowed the thoughts to consume me.
How did I end up ruining my plans today? The ending scene with Myungho replayed in my head, making me reflect on the things I've said. I squeezed my eyes tight, hating myself for ending things so abruptly. We didn't leave a contact for each other and I regret it now because we might never see each other again. After today's encounter, he must have given up on me and that made me feel lousier.
"You brought this upon yourself, Yujin." I talked to my reflection. The girl in the mirror was a pathetic mess, I could see right through her flaws. "You don't deserve to cry," I reasoned, but I was already shaking and spilling tears. I choked once, twice, thrice and let all the bad flashbacks of today bite me back.
Why didn't I retaliate when the jerk threatened me back at Namsan Tower? Why didn't I shout for help? Why did I have to look so pathetic in front of Myungho?
I wanted to look my best so that he would regret letting me go back then, but this is not my best. I'm still the same old me, obsessed with people's judgment of me, obsessed with the way Myungho thought of me...
I took out my phone and called Dr Carmen to talk about my exhausting day. For the rest of the night, I sat inside the bathtub with the phone pressed to my ear and poured my heart out to her.
...
I woke up the next morning with my body curled up inside the bathtub and my phone lying somewhere beside me. My neck was stiff down to my bones thanks to the cold hard tub. After several good stretches, I picked up my phone and climbed out of the bathtub. With the advice Dr Carmen gave me last night, I was ready to take on a brand new day with my plans pushed forward.
It was time to end my vacation and get down to business. To keep myself occupied and proceed with the main reason for my return.
I made extra efforts to doll up today for a boost of confidence, as recommended by Dr Carmen. When I was done straightening my hair, I pulled out my matt red lipstick and leaned close to the mirror. Perking up my lips, I applied the red fully across to give it the final touch.
I also picked out the cat-eye glasses that Dash got for me to end off with a feisty look.
"Here you go! Just in case Korean guys are blinding." I recalled Dash's words and smiled at the lipstick in my hand. He gave it to me as a farewell gift before I left Canada.
So this is it, I breathed in confidently. Finally able to accept the girl in the mirror who now looked flawless. It is time to execute the plan.
...
I raised the teacup to my nose and inhaled its fruity scent before sipping it. I waited at the couch for my dear client to come and when she finally did, I crossed my legs and sat upright like a lady.
"Love the tea," I praised and put it down on the coffee table before me.
"Come anytime and you have it," she said delightedly and sat down beside me.
"So, let's get down to business." I turned to my bag and dug out some files.
"Business? You're not here because you miss me?" She scooted closer to me.
Now that she came near, I leaned in to take a good look at her face. There were faint wrinkles on her forehead, unlike before.
"Unnie, you look older," I told her the truth and broke into a playful grin. She is the only person in Korea I could talk to comfortably. My dear friend, a big sister to me... and also my ex-boss, Daphne.
I watched her face change, and she flicked my forehead without warning, making me fall back into the couch whining in pain. "Ow! Unnie!"
"Of course I'm older. It's been five years, not five days since we met! You still have the cheek to tell me that?" She blasted at me.
"It's not like we didn't keep in touch... I called you the most when I was in Canada, people thought you were my boyfriend." I muttered as I rubbed my poor forehead.
"Did I ask you to call me? I told you to get a boyfriend too!" Says the one who called me more than I actually did. Daphne raised her hand threatening to flick me again.
"Enough enough! I didn't come here to get flicked!" I shield myself away.
"Why are you here?!" Daphne asked, faking her agitation. Our conversations never begin normal, and yet, this is normal for us.
"I'm really here for business!" I took out one file and gave it to her. "Pretty sure you received our proposal via email," a smile crept up my face.
Daphne gave me a confused look.
"Allow me to formally introduce myself. I'm Choi Yujin, regional manager on behalf of my events company, Spot1ight. You've probably heard of us, we organise performing art events and bring them live to theatre. If you have seen our email proposal, you'll know that we have an upcoming theatre show in Korea. Our main client is from Canada and they're looking at an international collaboration. So... I'm here to recruit a dance team based in Korea. To sum up the proposal, we would like to include a Korean contemporary dance performance as a segment of the show. We have been sending you emails previously so you should be well informed of the details by now. I'm here on behalf of my company today to hear your final decision before we make this contract official. What do you say?"
"No way," Daphne breathed. Her eyes told me that she didn't believe until I raised the file for her to see. My company logo was printed in bright colour at the centre of the cover page.
"FYI, this happened because I recommended your studio to my boss." I proudly added.
"You work at Spotlight?! They're like the TOP 10 events company in Canada!" She chuckled in disbelief. "And I thought I got lucky when they sent me their proposal..." Daphne looked at me in realisation and smiled brighter. "So it's because of you? My lil sister, come here!" She pulled me into a big hug, grinning from ear to ear.
"I'll take it as a yes then? The collaboration?" I asked while returning her hug.
"Billion times yes! Who in the world would reject such a brilliant proposal!" She cried in joy and got me laughing. Then she pulled away and held onto my cheeks, studying me. "My my, you've grown up well. Who knew you'd end up working for a big successful company?"
"I'm just lucky," I shrugged. "Okay, small talks aside. We've got several things to settle - read the contract, manpower and logistics planning, decide on the members you're recruiting and most importantly, appoint a leader for point of contact with me," I listed on my fingers.
"On it," Daphne got up from the couch and skipped back into her office. "Let me go get my laptop first!"
I started organising my documents first and the door chimes rang as someone entered the studio.
"Yujin...?"
I heard his voice and looked up to see Myungho standing by the door.
🔥🔥🔥