A/n
At long last, the final chapter of Angel Park.
I am overwhelmed by the love and support you all have shown me. I hope I did this story justice.
Thank you for reading.
Love forever,
B
*
Scott was tired beyond belief.
He wasn't sure why, but the month and a half of tour that they had been on so far, though incredibly rewarding, was hard.
All the jumping around a little tipsy, laughing, screaming, singing his heart out for two hours practically every night took a lot of his energy and always left him reeling with mixed emotions and a content heart.
This tour was better than he ever expected. It had the biggest crowds they had ever performed for and the loudest fans. It was a huge show that was filled with all their greatest hits and so much wild energy. So far, it was the proudest Scott had ever felt of himself, and every day was another he added to his memories of Angel Park. It was obvious the rest of the band was feeling it too.
Things were quiet between them all. No wild pranks or too many late, late nights accompanied with hungover days. No drama between other bands or fans, it was just the group taking in everything that their farewell tour had to offer. Things felt so different but also the exact same from when they started.
Every second was spent traveling and exploring when they weren't performing. So, that was how he stayed busy. Scott put in a lot of effort to support Esther and their team behind the scenes this year, too. Especially since they would probably never work as a single unit again after this tour.
Which, Scott already knew all their lives would change a lot, but he couldn't help but think about their futures. Avi and Kevin already started making their own music. Probably would even get married and settle down with their significant others. Kirstin had plans to return to Broadway as soon as she could. Even had someone waiting for her in New York with her fur babies.
Then there was himself.
Who, up until he was sitting across from Mitch in that booth at a random bar all those months ago, was dead set on starting solo projects. Only, that had yet to even begin. All he had been focusing on was Angel Park.
He wouldn't change his decision to do that. This project of theirs, this baby that they all spent so much of their lives devoted to deserved their full attention before it was put down for good.
But that was all. He had always imagined moving somewhere new. Experiencing life in a different way. Making mistakes and learning new things. And now, his plan was divided. Heart still hoping for that, but mind constantly trailing back to a man halfway across the world that still slept in his bed.
Scott yawned as he sat back, breakfast discarded on the table and commotion around him as the venue got set up for their show tonight. Kristin had her headphones in across from him, and Avi and Kevin were both moving around in the hallway.
As he checked the time, he sent a text to Mitch.
Scott: You're going to kill it, Mitchy. So proud of you
Mitch responded almost immediately. Scott snorted a soft laugh, shaking his head at Mitch on his phone right before a performance.
Mitch: Wish you could be here
Scott sent off his response and opened Spotify. "Mitch's EP drops in like, three minutes. It's almost midnight in LA."
"I can't wait. Will you play it out loud?" Kirstin paused whatever she had been watching, pulling her headphones out and leaning her elbows on the table.
He honestly wanted to go lay in his bunk in the tour bus and put his headphones in, but he couldn't be bothered to move. "Sure."
Refreshing the page multiple times, it wasn't until it was a minute past that he was able to press play on the first song, the title going from grayed out to full white.
A soft instrumental started in a melody he recognized. The title was telling too. Dreamt We Spoke Again. It was the only full song he had heard so far.
Hearing Mitch's crisp voice was soothing. Even if the song poked at his wounds and made him miss him more. As he always had been, Mitch was an angel when it came to their relationship. He honestly wasn't surprised. Even with the air of tension between them sometimes, Mitch had only ever followed his lead. Never pushed for more or asked for the impossible.
Even through distance, Mitch continued to do so. With their short and sweet phone calls, Scott kept in touch with him.
By the third week of tour, it was obvious Mitch was holding back. He never talked about work too in-depth, never pried into tour besides to ask about how the most recent show was, didn't even mention Ellie and Baz coming to visit until he had already picked them up from the airport. It felt like his walls were up sometimes. Like he was afraid to say too much or get too deep.
Scott couldn't say he was surprised, but it brought up different feelings than he expected. Mitch's apathy towards their situation almost irked Scott in a way. It was harder to get a read on him. Hard to know how to respond to him when he couldn't see or read his expressions. He had no way to gauge when to push or when to let it be, and it made him wish Mitch was more vocal about his feelings. Even if they were unpleasant, they would be better than nothing.
He knew that was the most hypocritical thought he had in a while though. Coming from the person who had given Mitch the trust issues, to begin with. Scott was still the one who had thought he'd want space, want to be free while on tour.
So now that Mitch's whole career had led up to this moment, Scott was uncomfortable. Incredibly proud, but sad that it was always kept so far away from him.
The song sounded produced and well made. Dreamt We Spoke Again went from a secret from their past to the single from the EP.
Kirstin's voice caught his attention, speaking over Mitch's. "It's about you, isn't it?"
She was intuitive. Though, any of their friends probably could have made the connection. He nodded his head.
The next song, somehow, hurt worse. Call Me Back. All he could think was "I am. I will. I'll call you back." In fact, he itched to call him right now. He wished he could listen to his performance through the phone. He craved reassurance in the form of Mitch's voice.
Instead of calling him, Scott lifted his phone. His eyes scanned over the picture set as his background.
When Am I Gonna Lose You felt like he was back in that cabin with Mitch. The song confirmed his suspicions of Mitch holding back on purpose with the assumption that Scott would leave him again. He had tried so hard to show Mitch how much he cared that weekend, and it had helped at the time. Things were a little better for a while after, but it wasn't enough. Logically, he understood why Mitch did it now, but Scott hated the reasoning. Why couldn't they just be happy together in the present, just like Mitch had told him?
"Scott?" Kirstin's soft voice drew him from his thoughts again.
When he looked up at her, she sported a frown.
"They are literally all about you so far."
He didn't even know how to reply. He expected as much, with how little he was let into these songs, but it was still a strange feeling.
"What... I mean..." She shook her head as she searched for words. "Are you guys okay?"
Scott reached down to pause the music as the next song started.
"You already know he was hurt by me not reaching out to him after Warped tour. I guess it hurt him more than I expected. We talked about it, though." Scott shrugged. "He basically told me this EP was about me. Even warned me our relationship wasn't ready for them. I still haven't really... thought about that."
"Hmm." Kirstin tucked her hand under her chin. "Well, how are you feeling about that song you just listened to?"
Scott took a deep breath. "I want to think he has the wrong impression. That he thinks I'm temporary in his life, but I can't even be mad because I honestly kind of thought that too for a while."
Kirstin furrowed her brows. "Can you explain what you mean?"
"I mean," Scott shrugged. "This is... you know, tour and..."
Kirstin's confused face fell, sadness filling her eyes. "You don't want to stay with him?"
Scott sighed. "Of course I do. I just..."
She frowned, bottom lip puckering slightly. "What's wrong?"
He didn't know how to explain to her how he was feeling. "Mitch and I talked about living in the present. Not worrying about the past or the future. And we're labeled. Fully in a relationship and everything, but I guess I'm not used to that. I mean, you've seen my past relationships. They never last while I'm on tour."
She hummed as she thought. "So then... what's going to happen? Do you expect to break up with him?"
"God, no." Scott shook his head. "I basically promised him I wouldn't. I told him I'd call him back. Hell, that's why he wrote that song; because I didn't after that summer." Scott rubbed a hand over his beard, regret bubbling back up about that. "But he also just, doesn't trust me, I think. Like, he's so surface level with me right now, like he expects me to ghost him at any moment."
That hurts. His hand shifted to his chest, absentmindedly rubbing.
Kirstin nodded, eyes dropping down to the table. "Scott?"
When he glanced up at her, she was looking at his hand. When her eyes flicked up, she spoke quietly. "Do you think you could fall in love with him?"
Scott's hand paused, body ceasing movement as the sentence registered. Love was something they had completely avoided so far. Neither even entertained a conversation closer than the 'I like you' conversation that got them together in the first place. And Scott knew for himself, avoiding it was easier. Hurt less in the end.
Only, that was if there was an end.
And he had promised Mitch he'd call him back.
"I should tell him." Scott blurted.
Kirstin arched a brow. "Tell him?"
"That I love him. He'd probably stop holding me at arm's length." Scott scooted his phone towards him, pressing play on the next song.
"Oh." Kirstin let a couple bars of the next song play before she interrupted it. "Only tell him if that's what you really feel. If you are still convinced you can't do relationships while on tour, then that might not be a good idea."
Tilting his head, Scott smirked. "I love him. I'm not going to break up with him. Even if I am not sure where we stand right now." There was a reason Mitch was still distant. He was scared to let him closer because love hurts. "I don't want him to worry about that. And, I don't think he truly thinks I'll stop calling him back now. I think he's just, keeping his heart safe from me. Which, I understand why now."
Kirstin smiled and leaned forwards, covering his wrist with her hand. "You have something special."
Scott nodded as he tuned back into Mitch's song. As he listened, it only solidified more that he wanted to tell Mitch he loved him. Not only tell him but prove to him in all the ways he knew Mitch needed.
First, by sharing all his favorite moments and memories of theirs he cherished the most. From his private pictures of their trips together to his own 'Scars' in tattoo form. He hoped that these things made Mitch feel important because he was. As much as Scott had denied it forever, Mitch was so important. He should know that. His next plan was to say it. To do that, he'd have to wait for Mitch to call when his show was over.
"Look." Kirstin passed her phone over to him and he was confused by what he was looking at, at first. She continued, "It's from when you cuddled on the bus with him. He never shared it with anyone. He could have easily posted this on Twitter, but he didn't."
"I didn't even know this existed."
"I know." Kirstin smiled. "Let me send it to you."
"What's that beautiful sound?" Kevin entered from the hallway, looking at Scott's phone on the table.
"Mitch's EP. Scott and I are listening to it."
Kevin clapped a hand on Scott's shoulder, leaning down to speak. "That's awesome. How's he been doing?"
Scott smiled. "He's performing right now. EP release party."
"Shoot." Kevin pulled out a chair and sat. "That's probably one heck of a show."
"Oh, for sure." Esther joined the conversation, carrying a box into the room. "We should've been there. Here's some OG merch. You guys wanna throw them to the audience?"
Esther held one up and the sight of their old tour shirt started to trigger memories. The tastefully distressed black and white that they all wore for an entire summer was staring right back at him. His own was barely wearable now. Still sat in some box in his home somewhere. He reached for it, pulling it closer and running his thumbs over the Angel Park logo. Just as the memories came back full force, Mitch's voice cut through the light chatter.
I just do what I wanna. In the heat of the summer.
*
Scott didn't get a call for a while. Not before his own show at least. Instead, as he pulled his phone out to call Mitch as he walked into his dressing room, he noticed he had a missed call from the man from around the time they started soundcheck. He had probably tried to catch him right before.
Glancing at his open door, he put the phone to his ear and pressed play on the voicemail left.
"Oh god." Mitch groaned. "I'm so hungover it's not even funny. Still drunk probably. Scott." His name was dragged out in a whine. Scott couldn't help but crack a smile. "I wish you were here. The show went really well last night. Everyone seemed to like the songs. I think they liked the songs." There was a long pause. "Ellie and Baz are never in charge of my drinks ever again, oh my god." Another groan. "I kept like, looking for you. I know it's stupid but like I really hoped you would just show up somehow. But I know you're performing now too. Oh, I should've called you! I forgot to call you!" Mitch's voice pitched up. "Shit, Scott. Here I am worried you won't call and it's me that's the issue." Another pause. "Fuck, I think I'm going to go throw up now. Call me when you're done with your show."
The line beeped off. Scott chuckled and pressed call. He wouldn't be surprised if Mitch didn't answer, but he didn't have to think about it for long.
"Hello?" His voice was sleepy.
"Hi, baby."
"Hi."
Scott loved that he could hear the smile in Mitch's voice. "How are you feeling?"
"I think I've sobered up finally. Did you listen to your messages?" The embarrassment that lightened his voice was cute.
"I did." Scott leaned forwards in his chair, elbows pressed to the tops of his knees. "Can we facetime?"
"I am violently hungover."
Scott laughed. "Okay. Later then. I take it the after-party was good?"
"I don't remember a lot of it if I'm honest, but I think so."
Scott arched an eyebrow. "You better not have been kissing Baz."
Mitch scoffed. "You know I wasn't."
"Just making sure." Scott smiled at the memory. Scott fully intended on blurting out the words, but Mitch's voice broke the silence first.
He sounded a lot more nervous. "Soooo, what did you think?"
Scott had listened to all the songs on repeat until his own show. He had a lot of thoughts about them. "I loved it. I think that you did a really good job of putting your feelings into a likable EP. And I think that even though it's personal, a lot of people can relate to them."
Mitch didn't respond, but Scott wasn't done anyways. "I think we were wrong about not being ready for them."
"How so?" He spoke clearly.
Scott could imagine him sitting up in bed now. "I needed to hear what you had to say," He admitted.
"Oh."
Scott breathed deeply, tapping into his courage. "Mitch?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"What?" The complete disbelief in his voice was almost sad, so Scott repeated himself.
"I love you." He wished he could see him. "I think I have for a while."
Scott let Mitch take his time responding. There was a good chance he was still half asleep anyways.
"I know." Mitch settled on. "You have a video getting my name tattooed on your arm."
Scott felt his face heat. "Yeah. It's not weird, I promise." He chuckled nervously.
"It's a little weird." The smile had returned to Mitch's voice.
"Not any weirder than yours."
Mitch laughed. "You can say you're obsessed with me. That's fine."
"Whatever." Scott played into it. "As long as the feeling's mutual."
"Okay, you got me there." Mitch laughed again, and Scott wished more than anything he could see it.
"Can we please facetime?"
Without a response, the call ended and a facetime call rang immediately after. Scott pressed answer and watched as Mitch's face popped up on his screen.
He was sitting on the couch, sleepy face, hair everywhere. He had suspicions that the black shirt on him was his own. The most reassuring part of seeing him, though, was the soft smile he sported.
"You're not even out of your show clothes."
Scott reached for the in-ear still hanging over his shoulder, toying with it. He shrugged.
They just stared at each other for a little bit. Scott was happy to just sit under Mitch's curious eyes. He wondered if Mitch was checking him for sincerity. Just in case, he said it again.
"I love you."
Mitch blushed as he fought a bigger smile, eyes flicking down and back up. "I love you, too."
Again, they sat in a few moments of quietness as the weight of that registered with them. He still had a lot to say, reassure Mitch about, but they weren't in a rush. Neither of them were going anywhere.
"Why did you get my name tattooed on your arm?"
Scott thought about it. He'd never tried to explain that out loud before. It was always an impulse that felt right, so getting it done didn't seem like a big deal. But, perhaps he just never wanted to admit what he really needed to.
"To be honest, I'm not really sure why besides it felt right." His hand lifted as he straightened his arm, twisting to look down at his tattoos, rubbing his palm over them. "I'd never felt like my impact as an artist mattered that much until I met you. You're like, living and breathing proof that music changes lives. When I thought about how I wanted to remember that tour, every time I would think back, I would picture you and everyone lining the edge of the stage at pretty much every show. So, it was just an easy choice to make."
"You know I'm not the only person with your autograph tattooed?" Mitch arched an eyebrow.
Scott nodded. A few fans over the years had gotten things. If not an autograph, an Angel Park logo.
"But you're the only one with a 'Mitch' tattoo."
Pursing his lips, he squinted. Perhaps it was weirder than he thought. "True but give it a couple years and I bet you'll have dedicated fans, too."
Mitch's eyes widened as he shook his head slightly. "I didn't even think about that. Wow. What?" He laughed, an incredulous look passing over his features.
"Last night was your first show of many, I'm sure. Of originals, I mean. Maybe Ben can set up a little west coast tour for you." Scott tilted his head as he thought. "If you're interested."
"That'd be incredible. Of course I'm interested." Mitch nodded as he spoke.
The wonder in his voice only helped solidify to Scott that he made the right decision. Mitch shouldn't have to put his life on hold while he was touring.
They could have both.
"Oh, God." Mitch scrubbed a hand down his face. "I think I just remembered spilling my drink all over some girl last night. That's so embarrassing."
Scott laughed.
The door opened next to him, Kirstin's and Avi's laugh spilling in from the hallway. Esther was looking down at him, rolling her eyes at whatever antics they had gotten up to. She held her hand out. "Wires, please."
Scott sat forward, unplugged, and started to pull the wire out of his shirt.
"I'll let you get changed and stuff for the night." Mitch had been watching, obviously. "I should shower anyways."
"Is that Mitch?" Esther leaned farther in the room, legs following slower. "Hi, Mitch. Your EP was incredible. We've all been playing it all day long."
"Esther, hi!" He waved to the camera. "Thank you. That's so nice."
"Really great job, kid."
Scott passed his in-ear to her.
"Thank you."
They shared another wave as she turned.
"Get some sleep, Mitch." Scott grabbed his phone off the counter as he stood.
"You too, babe."
"I'll call in the morning." Goodbyes were always the hardest.
"Okay. Love you." Mitch leaned his cheek in his hand, making it squish cutely.
"I love you, too."
Scott watched Mitch blow a kiss before the call ended.
When he looked over, Esther was still standing in the doorway.
She had a soft, knowing look in her eyes.
Scott wasn't sure what she was waiting for. "Did I forget something?" He pat around his shoulders, feeling for the in-ears he had already taken off.
"No." She shook her head.
"Oh." Scott hesitated when she didn't move.
"You just," She paused, eyes scanning over him. "You seem happy with him."
He let out the little breath he didn't realize he was holding. "I am."
"Good." Smiling brighter, she turned to exit the room finally.
"Es?" He called to her, making her pause. He rubbed his palms together. "I'm gonna need to see him. Soon."
"Okay." She nodded. "We'll figure it out."
*
Soon wasn't soon enough.
Scott knew Mitch wasn't home, but that didn't stop the excitement making his hands tremble slightly as he shoved his key in the lock. He had less than forty-eight hours in Los Angeles, it was close to 8 AM tour time, and he was running on fumes and Redbull.
He opened the door and immediately dropped his backpack on the floor, body tired from traveling. He tossed his keys onto the counter.
He flicked on the light switch, looked up, and froze.
Boxes. Not a ton. Enough for him to notice. He walked a few steps to the nearest one on the counter and read the scribbled sharpie on the side. 'Breakables'.
Interesting.
He had been planning on surprising Mitch. As soon as he got off the flight in LA, it was already close to 1 am. He knew Mitch was finishing up a performance right now. Scott even expected a text any second. Usually, Mitch waited to get home before he called him. This time he wouldn't have to.
If he had gotten the choice, this visit would have been a month ago, but after talking with Esther they decided he wait just a little longer. That way he could have at least one full day with Mitch.
And boy was it overdue.
Three months of tour felt like ages.
He assumed the place would look empty and dusty, just like it always did when he got home from tour, but it looked lived in. Like someone cared about it while he was gone.
The thought made him feel warm.
Instead of standing in the Kitchen, Scott moved to the living room. He plopped down on the couch and stretched. When his phone buzzed, he leaned over to pull it out of his pocket.
Mitch: show just ended. I'll call in thirty xx
Scott: ok xx
He leaned over and let his head rest against the arm of the couch. Thirty minutes and he'd get to hold him.
A heavy sigh left him sinking farther into the couch. Instead of fighting it, he threw his legs up and waited.
He didn't fall asleep, but he got pretty close. He opened his eyes when he heard the garage door, not moving a muscle and listening closely to every sound.
The garage opened and shut, followed by the door opening. He wondered if Mitch would notice his bag and keys.
His phone started buzzing. He tilted it towards his face and pressed answer, Mitch's face popping up.
"Hey!"
Scott smiled wide, giddiness filling him at the sound of Mitch's voice across the room.
Mitch made a face as he heard his own voice. He watched him look to the side on his phone.
"Were you going to tell me you moved in or...?"
He watched Mitch's jaw fall open. Scot dropped his phone, grabbing the back of the couch to pull himself up.
"What the fuck?" Mitch threw his things on the counter before making a run towards him, throwing himself over the back of the couch and ungracefully crawling his way to him.
Scott leaned with the impact and threw his hands out as he lost his balance. Both fell off the edge and nearly hit the coffee table. He wrapped his arms around Mitch as tightly as he could, taking a deep breath. He had missed his smell. The warmth and weight of him felt so, so good.
"Scott." Mitch sounded breathless. "You're home."
"Hi, baby."
Mitch pushed up, hands on either side of his head. "You're here."
Scott nodded, lifting a hand to cup Mitch's face. He directed him down, welcoming back the weight on his chest as their lips met.
Mitch practically whimpered against him. He lifted again.
When Scott met his eyes, they were watery. He sat up, pulling Mitch's thighs to either side of his own. "I wanted to see you. I can't stay long, but I didn't want to wait another four months."
Mitch's bottom lip wobbled as he nodded. They both leaned forwards again, grip tightening as they met for another kiss. They swayed a bit, Mitch's hand sliding over his cheek and around his neck.
Scott couldn't believe how much he missed his touch.
"Mmm— Mitch." He tilted his head down to break their kiss and leaned back to look at him. "I missed you."
"I missed you, too." Mitch shuffled even closer, their chests pressing together and noses bumping.
"And I love you." Scott's fingertips dug into jean. "I love you so much."
Mitch's forehead tilted to meet his. "I love you, too."
Scott honesty could say he'd never been in love like this before. The relief that he felt just hearing and saying that was otherworldly. He tilted his head down to rest against Mitch's shoulder. A hand combed through his hair.
"Your hair is getting so long."
Scott snorted softly and lifted, smiling at Mitch. "Are you saying it's time for a haircut?"
Mitch smiled. His eyes were still glossy. "No. I can't believe you're here."
"In the flesh." Scott smiled as he pinched Mitch's cheek softly, chuckling as the man bumped his hand away from his face.
They took time to examine each other, letting it sink in. When he was finally able to look away from his big, mascara-framed eyes, he was rendered breathless. Mitch looked incredible. Sheer red top with a red bow tied around his neck. His tattoos were on display. "Damn." Eyes followed down to where dark jeans met his sweats.
Mitch's finger hooked his chin, directing his attention back up. He leaned in slow, hot lips pressing against his. Mitch spoke between kisses. "I can—explain, mm—the boxes." He pulled back, forearms resting on his shoulders. "I didn't resign my lease. And..." Dark eyes flicked to his lips and back. "I figured you weren't using this place, so..."
Scott felt his fingertip tap on his back nervously. He smirked. "Makes sense." Scott glanced at the box on the other side of the coffee table.
Mitch's eyes followed his, glancing at it and back, too. "They've literally been here a day. I was going to tell slash ask you tonight."
"What's mine is yours."
Mitch's chest deflated, a relieved smile growing on his face. "Really?"
Scott nodded. He pat his thighs. "Okay, come shower with me. I've been in airports all day."
Mitch stood and pulled him off the ground. "Why are you home?"
Scott didn't let go of his hands. "To see you."
"Just me?" Mitch looked surprised. Happy. His smile was filled with excitement. Scott nodded again and Mitch continued, "So, I have you the whole time you're here?" Mitch started to pull him towards the hall, but Scott changed their direction, headed to grab the bag he threw on the ground by the door.
"Yes. I'm all yours." He looped it over his shoulder and gestured for Mitch to lead the way.
After they crossed the threshold to his bedroom, Scott felt adored. He watched Mitch with a small smile on his face, letting the man wash him and lean on him in the shower. Mitch took care of him well. Scott definitely enjoyed getting to use his own shower as opposed to hotels. Leaving home was harder now, even if this tour was more rewarding. His tiredness set in as Mitch massaged his shoulders and scalp, making his eyelids heavier than before.
Without thinking much, he followed Mitch's gentle lead as he was wrapped in a towel and guided towards the bed.
He was still being dried off as he got comfortable.
"You know I'm so proud of you?" Mitch's voice was soft. Brought his mind back to the present.
Scott hummed appreciatively. "Yeah."
"My inspiration, truly."
Scott's eyes fluttered when he felt a soft kiss press to the base of his throat. He could only manage a weak hum again.
Another kiss pressed to his chest. "Are you too tired to let me take care of you?"
The corner of Scott's mouth curved up. "No."
"No?"
Scott cracked an eye open as Mitch's hand cupped his cheek, meeting a soft smile and sparkling eyes. He let it fall shut again. "Never."
"I like that." Mitch leaned in to kiss him, not bothered by his lack of reciprocation at first. Scott liked the way Mitch didn't stop, soft pecks on his lips over and over until he puckered. Then Mitch deepened it, opening his mouth and coaxing Scott's open.
Scott lifted a hand to hold Mitch's head, tongue sweeping into his mouth slowly. Their kiss was lazy and sloppy. Only ending when Mitch tilted his head down and Scott dropped his heavy arm back onto the bed.
"I missed you so much, Scott." Mitch's soft fingertips trailed down his skin. They were followed by his hot breath and lips. "More than you know."
"Missed you." Scott managed to mumble, falling into the sensations. He widened his legs with Mitch's soft push so he could settle between. He'd been hard from the moment they stripped before their shower, but now he ached for Mitch's touch. He craved him. Craved the way he felt when he was with Mitch.
Scott's barely-there attention followed a featherlight touch as it circled around his hips and thighs.
He'd manage to stomp down just how badly he missed Mitch while he was gone, but now that he was here, he wanted anything and everything Mitch wanted to give. "Please."
There was no voice behind his beg, and in fact, it sounded weak and desperate. He didn't even get a chance to worry about being embarrassed, gasping as Mitch's wet mouth enveloped him. It left him breathless, chest rising and falling harder than before. "God, yes, baby."
Mitch took him deeper and Scott was impossibly hard. He blindly shifted his hand, reaching for himself, fingers curling around Mitch's where he held him steady. Sliding up until Mitch's lips bumped them, he glanced down, watching as his length disappeared between pink lips over and over.
Scott dragged them up Mitch's cheek, spreading his spit. His eyes fluttered closed again, head dropping back to the pillow. He focused on the feeling of Mitch's face sliding under his hand and the ridges at the roof of Mitch's mouth. His body gradually tensed in pleasure, not realizing until he caught himself holding his breath.
Letting it go in a heavy sigh, Scott peeled himself from the bed, pushing up to his elbow as his head lulled after. The soft grip he had on Mitch shifted to the back of his neck. "Just like that. Don't stop."
He caressed Mitch, sliding his hand over his shoulder and down his arm and back, catching his cheek again as brown eyes flicked up.
There was a little makeup left under his eyes. His pupils were blown and cheeks flushed pink. Scott thought he looked a little more innocent than his actions suggested, and by now, they both knew Mitch was anything but. Mitch knew what he did to him. Knew that light, fluttery eyelashes and big brown eyes wet with tears was his kryptonite.
Scott's bottom lip was worried between sharp teeth, biting down until it hurt to distract from the way his stomach was flipping. His nerves were electric, strumming more and more with each dip of Mitch's head.
Mitch's arm moved, hand pressing flat against his chest.
With a little push, Scott dropped back again. He covered the smaller one with his own. It pulled out from under his, only to slide down his hip and thigh, scooping under and lifting his knee. Mitch was clearly no stranger to his body. The only person who knew it better than anyone besides himself by now, probably. Sex certainly wasn't new to them, but Scott could honestly say he'd never felt at mercy to Mitch before. But there was nothing but trust left in him. He knew that Mitch would only take care of him in the ways he needed. There was no doubt in his mind that he was safe and loved in this bed.
Mitch had him coming undone quickly after that, fingers and tongue wringing the most pleasure out of him as they could. Scott groaned as he filled his lover's throat, sinking farther into his bed as all the built-up tension in him dissipated into satisfaction.
He tried his best to stay awake as Mitch cleaned them up, but it was difficult as his exhaustion set in. When he rolled onto his side and felt cool skin press up against his back and a thin arms wrapping around his waist, he was content. More content than he had felt since he had left for tour.
With one last sleepy kiss pressed behind his ear, Mitch whispered against his skin. "I love you."
Scott hugged Mitch's arm tighter. "Love you so much."
*
Mitch was determined to shower Scott in love. Not only because he deserved it, but because now he never wanted to hold back from this man ever again. Whatever fear he had that kept him from being able to fall into their relationship didn't matter anymore, because in the long run, even if they didn't last, he never wanted to regret not showing him just how much he cared about him.
And... there was a little part of him that wanted Scott to know what he was missing while he was away. He wanted Scott to think about him while he was gone, wanted him to want him even through distance, wanted Scott to have another incentive to come home to him.
The fact that Scott never had to break his attention the whole day made Mitch's heart soar too. In fact, he reveled in it, loving the way Scott encouraged Mitch's lead, letting the younger take control in both the bedroom and with their plans.
Mitch couldn't get enough. Of anything. If they weren't making love, they were no more than a foot apart. And even then, when they weren't glued to each other's sides, it was because they were busy fitting Mitch's life into his.
It was Scott's idea, to Mitch's surprise. So, he couldn't keep his eyes off the blonde as he watched him help unpack his boxes all over his house; Lining up their dishes in the kitchen, hanging some of his clothes in the closet, adding his CDs to the ones already on the shelves on either side of Scott's TV, despite them now having duplicates of some.
Scott even shifted his framed pictures over to put Mitch's right beside them.
Mitch was completely astonished by the gesture. He hadn't even had time to even contemplate unpacking his boxes at all, let alone Scott unpacking them with him. Hell, he half expected they would just go in the guest room until Scott got home from tour.
Scott spoke without looking at him. "You okay?"
Nodding his head, he smiled. "Yeah."
When curious eyes met his, Scott shrugged. "Just been standing there staring at me. Figured I'd ask."
"I'm not allowed to stare at you?" He initially felt embarrassed it was too much, but he quickly pushed the thought away as Scott chuckled. Mitch took a few steps closer. "I think I am still processing this, I guess." He looked at the picture Scott had just put on a shelf. Pointing, he turned back to see Scott looking at it too. "I never imagined you'd be putting my graduation picture up in your house."
The blonde didn't respond immediately, eyes squinting a little as he shifted the frame over an inch. "Our house."
Mitch pursed his lips, "Our house." He raised the rag in his hand to wipe some dust off of the shelf below that. "Are you sure?"
Scott pushed the last picture frame into place, turning and leaning on his hip, arms crossing over his chest. "Yes."
Mitch waited for more, but nothing came. Scott was standing still and looking serious, but nothing in this moment made Mitch believe that he wasn't being honest. In fact, it almost seemed like Scott was waiting to see how he'd react, just like how he watched him closely before he had left. And knowing that Scott had been the one to suggest they do this together in the first place, Mitch was truly over the moon. Unable to fight his giddy smile, Mitch let it happen. "Good."
Scott smiled in response. "Good."
It felt amazing to share excitement about a future together. To see in Scott's body and face reassurance that they were finally on the same page. That Scott was finally all in with him and was inviting him deeper into his life like Mitch only ever dreamed of.
Mitch wet his lips with his tongue, flicking his eyes around Scott's face. "I'm happy."
"Me too." Scott took the remaining steps to him and looped an arm around him, kissing his head as Mitch tucked himself against him. "How about we get dressed up and go find a cozy bar to spend some time in?"
"Yeah?" Excitement built as he thought about going out with Scott. They had yet to truly go out together as a couple. "A date?"
Scott nodded. "Mhmm. Somewhere we can dance and drink?"
Leaning back to look at him, Mitch slid his hand up Scott's chest to hook around his neck. "I'd love that."
"Let's go get ready then." Firm hands spun him and led him back to the bedroom, where they spent way too long picking outfits and enjoying each other's company as they got ready. They dressed casually, not actually wanting to put in too much effort, but Mitch liked seeing Scott in his leather jacket and ripped jeans. He'd always been more partial to the bad boy look Scott had at one point. Though, his put-together, sometimes business-y looks were drool worthy as well.
They wound up at the same place they had first reconnected in, huddled close together at the end of the bar just like how they had the first time. Only now, Scott didn't hesitate to initiate contact or get too close.
Mitch sat still as Scott's hand settled at the side of his neck, thumb brushing back and forth right in front of his ear. He sipped his drink, watching dark blue eyes never stray from him. It made Mitch very aware of his own body and how he held himself, but it also made him feel important. He felt more like a priority right now in Scott's life than he ever had felt in anyone's.
And maybe this weekend was needed more than either of them considered.
Leaning forwards slightly, Mitch set his elbows on the bar, clasping his hands together. "I'm really glad you came home to see me."
Scott didn't meet his eyes, but they continued to scan him closely. "I needed to see you."
Mitch briefly wondered if Scott was trying to memorize what he looked like. "How come?" Not that he didn't love that sentence, or love to hear it, but he was surprised.
With a soft smile and hand sliding under his chin to cup it, Scott finally looked at his eyes. "To tell you and show you that I love you. And because I missed you. Touring is hard. And being away from you is hard." He smirked sadly, hand dropping from his face as he looped it across the back of his chair. "Harder than I expected."
Mitch felt his fingertips brush his side. It took a long moment for Scott's words to truly sink in. As he thought, he pinched his bottom lip between his teeth.
Mitch only had to lean forward a bit to kiss the corner of his mouth. "It is hard. The house feels a lot lonelier without you and your big personality in it."
Scott scooted even closer to the edge of his seat as he leaned his temple on his fist, elbow next to Mitch's on the bar. "When I listened to your EP the first time, I wanted so badly to be there for it. I wish I could have been."
"It's okay." Mitch unclasped his hands, wrapping one around Scott's bicep. "You'll be there for the next one."
Scott's bright smile and nod made Mitch fall even harder for him, if it was possible.
"You're the most handsome man I've ever seen." Mitch pat his cheek, giggling as Scott's face went pink.
Scott leaned back, unable to take the compliment. His hand found Mitch's. "Come on, bring your drink. I'd like to dance."
Mitch grabbed his glass and let Scott pull him away from the bar to the middle of the room where a few people were dancing. He let his tall, handsome partner wrap around him, scruffy chin resting against his forehead. His glass was curled in-between them as they started to sway softly.
Mitch was content. He felt safe in Scott's arms. "I love you, Scott."
"I love you, too," Scott replied just as quiet, keeping the sentiment intimate between them. After the tender moment, soft caresses of hands on backs and sweet lovesick expressions, Scott nodded a little as he pulled back slightly. "So, Ben and I were talking details. We are thinking a three-week California tour. Clubs mostly. Some smaller venues. In the next couple of months? He can probably swing it for you."
Mitch nodded. "Absolutely. Any time."
"Okay, I'll let him know. There's a lot to set up before that happens, so I'm sure he'll call soon." Scott tilted farther, glancing down briefly before resting his head back where it had been. "Not to bring work up."
Mitch huffed, "Work is important to both of us, I'd be surprised if it didn't come up at all. I'm thankful you and Ben have been doing so much for me. I can't wait."
"I'm happy to help."
Mitch sipped his drink, pushing against Scott to loop his arm around his neck, looking up at him. "You're an angel for that." He couldn't help but smile wide at Scott's playful eyeroll. Mitch's smile slowly fell as they swayed, eyes falling to Scott's chest. "When is your flight?"
"5 AM." Scott frowned. "That gives me a little time to settle before my show tomorrow night."
Mitch nodded. "I know I've said, but I'm really happy with you. And I know talking about the future isn't really our thing, but I feel hopeful for us again. Like, something's different, but in a good way."
"I feel hope too. And I want you to trust me while I'm gone. I know that I'm not the best communicator. Especially when I'm focused on work, but I don't want to lose you." Scott's grip tightened just enough for Mitch to notice.
"I love to hear you say that, but what changed?" Mitch tilted his head inquisitively, wondering why Scott wasn't holding back now. It was like he wasn't afraid of whatever feelings were there anymore. Mitch knew that his own attitude towards their relationship probably was a factor, but he certainly didn't say anything over the phone to have changed Scott's mind like this.
"Your music. Being away from you. It just..." Scott's hands slid to his lower back and back to his hips. "It made me realize what I had. I took you for granted and you deserve better than that. I think I was worried that you'd pull away after I left, which... you did. And then I heard your music and heard you." Scott emphasized, tilting his head down to touch their foreheads. "I knew that you were just protecting your heart from me. And I don't like that. I don't like being a reason for you to pull away."
Scott's sigh after sounded relieved, whole body relaxing a little in his arms. Mitch assumed he'd been holding that in for a while. "I've been yours from the moment we met eyes at that stupid roadside bathroom."
He felt Scott's laugh puff against his face before they pulled back to look at each other.
"All I ever wanted was for you to be mine too." Mitch caressed the back of Scott's neck, hoping to comfort the man. "You could never lose me. Even when it hurt to think about us, I stayed. I'll stay as long as you want me."
Scott dipped, lining their mouths. Mitch tilted his chin to meet him, but the kiss never came.
"Then strap in, love."
Mitch felt their smiles touch.
"Because we've got a long road ahead."
*
It hurt worse the second time around.
Leaving Mitch the first time was hard, but it was also dampened by the excitement of tour, the stress of wondering if he forgot anything, and the bustling, sometimes overwhelming distraction of his bandmates and friends.
Leaving Mitch the second time made the first time feel easy.
Mitch was right. Something had changed between them. Love. Scott knew it burned hot and fast sometimes and even though they had been together for months now, they had never let it get there out of fear.
But now that there was no mental block or unspoken feelings, every cell in his body urged him to get closer. All he wanted to do was hold and kiss him. He wanted to laugh with him and listen to him hum as he dusted around their home.
He had never once felt like leaving for tour was the wrong choice.
Until Mitch.
It was clearly harder the second time around for Mitch, too. He wasn't as emotional, but he was more vocal and physical. His "I don't want you to go" accompanied with a tight hug made it incredibly hard to leave his love outside the airport.
Scott couldn't even stop thinking about it a week and five shows later.
They still called every night, but it wasn't the same. The longing in Mitch's face always brought his mind back to how brief their goodbye was.
It made Scott regret not standing there longer just to savor that hug.
Scott sighed heavily, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he waited for his cue to start soundcheck.
His frustration was supposed to be internal, but if he wanted them to or not, his bandmates know him better than he knew himself sometimes.
"What's got you down?" Kevin called from across the stage, pausing between drum hits to speak.
Scott dodged the hand that lifted for his head, keeping Avi from ruffling his hair.
"Yeah, what's got you all moody?"
"It's nothing." Scott brushed it off. Even if they knew, they couldn't change anything about his situation anyways.
"But it is something?" Kirstin scrunched her nose at him.
Scott shook his head with a shrug. "I don't know."
"Well, let it out, dude." Avi placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We can't have you all mopey during another show."
Scott had tried to not let it affect his performances, but it was hard. Especially because this was something he'd never felt before. "Sorry, guys."
"Hey, we just want you to be okay." Kirstin put down her instrument and crossed the stage, only to drag him and Avi over towards Kevin. "Are you? Okay, I mean?"
Scott sat on the edge of the platform the drum set was set up on. "I guess I'm just..."
All three of his friends came to be close to him, Avi looping his arm around his shoulder, Kirstin crisscrossed on the stage in front of him, Kevin standing just behind her, and waited patiently for him to pull his thoughts together.
"I'm just not used to feeling like this, I guess. Like..." Scott cringed. "I swear that there's no ill intent, and I know that this tour is everything to us, but I just, I want to go home. It's like something inside me is telling me that I need to. And really, I know that I don't really need to. I'm fine and tour is great. And I'm so, so lucky to be here with you guys, but this feeling hasn't gone away. I thought it would fade after a couple shows or... I don't know."
"Shoot, Scott. We all feel like that when we have to leave our loved ones at home." Kevin crossed his arms.
Scott looked up at him, surprised.
When he saw Kirstin nod, he looked down at her. "That's normal, Scott. That's love."
Scott frowned.
"You just have to take it day by day. And one day, it'll be time to go home." Kevin smiled sadly. "But that doesn't mean we can't enjoy our time touring anymore."
"Yeah," Avi squeezed him in a half hug. "Love is rough sometimes. But it's worth it."
"So, now," Kirstin scooted closer, reaching for his hands to hold. "You power through for him. For you, but mostly for him. Because he's the reason you're doing this now. Because you love him, and this is your livelihood. And you don't want to miss out on what we have going for us here because we're lucky, and I want you to be able to look back on this tour with happiness. Mitch would want that too."
Looking down at their hands, he watched her black fingernails as she rubbed the back of his. "You're right."
"We all know this feeling, Scott. We're a family. We've got your back. Avi and I can take the reins tonight a little extra if you need." She pulled him forwards, reaching up to wrap him in a hug.
He felt Avi's hand squeeze his shoulder.
"Yeah." He nodded. "Thank you, guys."
"Of course, Kid." Kevin smiled brightly. "Okay!" He clapped loudly. "Back to work!"
And back to work he got. For the next four months they all powered through, leaning on each other and their team as they finished out the first leg of tour.
It was the hardest tour Scott had ever had to endure. But it truly was the most rewarding.
Mitch helped. With every encouraging call, every 'I love you', every bright smile through face time, and wonder-filled expression as he listened to Scott's stories from tour, Scott was comforted by the thought that with every passing day, he was closer to getting to hold him again.
And before he knew it, he was home.
*
Mitch's life turned hectic and busy very fast. He enjoyed the chaos of his life while Scott was on tour, even though he wished they could experience these major events together.
He and Ben spent a lot of time planning, organizing, and even traveling and performing for his mini-tour. It was as equally exciting as it was exhausting. Even just the short amount of time he spent away from home gave him an entirely new perspective and respect for Angel Park and what Scott was enduring for this final tour. And every tour before that.
And he had an idea, with Warped Tour being one of the most tiring things he ever did, but being the performer was different. It required a whole new level of effort that Mitch wasn't used to yet.
He was able to talk to Scott about it a little bit, get some small pieces of advice, but he really couldn't wait to have Scott home so he could learn from him properly. So Scott could finally walk him through how this life was possible.
In the meantime, though, Mitch focused on interviews and small Radio performances between shows. He talked to Ben about numbers and money and things he had never, ever thought about before meeting the man. He met with so, so many people about writing new music and even was able to work on a few things with them, but the process took a long time.
Plus, Mitch was determined to write his next song with Scott.
Scott opened up to him not long after he had visited home about how hard tour was this time around. Mitch understood the best he could, but he was certain he couldn't truly. All he could do was support him from a distance. It helped them stay closer, it seemed. When they were able to keep a deeper intimacy in their conversations, Mitch didn't feel like they were across oceans from each other.
All the business and commotion made time fly by. He still hadn't processed the last seven months. Then one day, Scott was pulling open their door and practically collapsing into his arms.
Between the heavy hug and constant kisses, Mitch couldn't breathe or talk. "Hm, Sco—"
Mitch stepped back with Scott's weight, barely able to hold them up. "Babe," He managed between kisses.
Scott tilted his head into the crook of his neck, a deep, relieved sigh trapped between them.
Mitch held him for a long time. He swayed them, rubbing his splayed hands all over Scott's back. When eventually, Scott finally started to pull away, Mitch addressed him again. "Welcome home."
Scott's forehead bumped his. "It's good to be home."
He peered up into blue eyes as Scott looked at him, and watched his face as Scott glanced around his house. He took another deep breath. "It feels more like you in here. And smells more like you."
"Feels?" Mitch tilted his head.
Scott nodded, attention only falling on him briefly as he continued to flick his eyes around the kitchen and living room. "Yeah, like. You changed things a little bit. It feels more like you live here now."
Mitch couldn't remember when it didn't feel like he lived here, but it made sense to him that Scott would only now see it. "Oh, yeah. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all." Scott grabbed one of his hands and leaned down to pick up one of the bags he had dropped in his scramble inside. "Come on."
Mitch followed Scott around for the rest of the evening. Not that he would choose any different, but he didn't have much of a choice as Scott's hand stayed latched onto his. They did chores and talked about a seemingly endless array of topics. A weight Mitch didn't know existed lifted as they were able to delve into details he'd been wanting to share and he was happy. Even with the knowledge they were back on another countdown timer.
Only this time they had about two weeks.
Similar to Scott's trip home, Mitch pampered his hardworking man all the way up until the moment they were about to fall asleep.
Scott's fingertips kept him conscious as they trailed gently over his arm.
"Sometimes I can't believe after all this time, this is where we are. Where we ended up." Scott's voice was quiet.
"I think about that a lot." Mitch angled his head, looking up at Scott's barely there profile in the dark. "We'd have separate lives."
Scott didn't respond immediately. He knew Scott was still thinking about it, his finger pausing it's swipe every once in a while.
Scott finally broke the silence, almost whispering. "I know I kinda told you before, but this tour was so hard. The only thing powering me through was knowing that eventually, I'd get to come home."
"I'm sorry it was so difficult." Mitch wasn't sure how to make him feel better. "You're home now."
"Yes," Scott sighed. He turned a little, wrapping his arms around him tighter. "I am."
"Did you at least have fun?"
"Of course. More rewarding than ever."
Mitch kissed his shoulder. "Good. I am happy you're home."
"I already don't want to leave again." Scott tilted down, lips brushing Mitch's forehead.
Heart warming with Scott's affection, Mitch hummed as his head was kissed. "I'd wait forever for you."
A hand shifted, resting on his cheek as Scott pulled back. "You don't have to."
"I will, Scott. I love you." Mitch stressed. He thought it was more than obvious now after this first leg of tour.
"I love you for that, but that's not what I meant."
Mitch felt a thumb brush over his lips. "What do you mean?"
Scott lined their lips up until their warm breath was shared. "You're coming with me."
"What?"
"I'm bringing you with me for the rest of tour. I'm going to need you there if I plan on surviving it." Scott kissed him firmly before he could think of a coherent response.
Mitch kissed back fervently, the statement slowly dawning on him.
Their kiss was only interrupted by their wide smiles.
"I thought you'd never ask."