Kabanata 39
"No," Caer gradually shook his head and gave a weak smile at me. "If you think that I can't be blamed for her death, mas lalo ka na. You don't have to marry me out of pity. You don't have to do this, Solstice."
The guilt didn't vanish immediately. It was still there and it was still suffocating me. I gasped for air as I tried my best to contain the tears. I should have told Caer about it while I still had the chance. Pero may parte sa akin na may tiwala ako sa desisyon ni Kaiaria. Whatever route she went through; I knew that it made her happy.
"She told me that everything was fine. Her pregnancy was normal. I was careless. I love her so much that I gave everything that she wanted. Kahit a-alam kong makakasama sa kan'ya, I should have never. . ." Napasabunot si Caer sa sarili n'yang buhok habang patuloy ang paghihinagpis. "When she told me she was pregnant. . . I always thought that maybe miracles do exist. I mean, for the past years, she was doing well. Isang beses na lang ang check-up n'ya kada buwan kaya akala ko. . ."
"Caer. . ."
"Doctor ako p-pero wala akong nagawa para maligtas siya," he said in a low voice. Sinisinok na siya sa kakaiyak n'ya. Napaupo siya sa gilid at yumuko. He probably blames himself for Kaiaria's decision.
"You can't give up now," I reminded him. "You have Leice. Hindi ka na nabubuhay para sa sarili mo na lang, kailangan ka ni Leice ngayon at kailangan n'ya ng isang taong tutulong sa kan'ya habang lumalaki siya."
He has to be strong. Kapag siya mismo ang sumuko ngayon, sino na lang ang magiging nandiyan para kay Leice? The child deserves to be taken care of. I'm willing to compromise a lot just to make sure that Leice will grow as lovely as her mother.
"D-do you think I can do it? Buong akala ko ay kasama ko si Kaiaria rito. B-bakit naman kasi kailangan pang mangyari ito? Ikakasal na kami ni Kaia sa susunod na taon. . . Bubuo kami ng pamilya t-tapos. . ." nanginginig ang boses ni Caer. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang sakit sa bawat bitaw n'ya ng mga salita.
I crouched to match his level and patted his back. "You'll be a great father, Caer. Sa mga panahon na pinanghihinaan ka, isipin mo lang na nagtiwala si Kaia sa 'yo. She knew that you can take good care of Leice, kahit wala na siya sa piling n'yo. She will always be in our hearts. . ."
I can't assure that it will be an easy road. Leice will ask for her mother when she grows up and I didn't want her to feel the same way that my son feels every day. The longing for your parent's touch. The constant setbacks because of the situation. I want to be Leice's mother, habang wala pang gagabayan sa kan'ya na kasama ni Caer.
She will grow as loved as Kaiaria. I'm making sure of that.
It took months before Caer was able to compose himself back. May mga araw noon na hindi n'ya mahawakan si Leice dahil naaalala n'ya si Kaia. I wanted to help him as much as how they helped me before. I would be there for Leice and I would teach Caer how to fulfill the duties of being a caretaker. And it was actually heartwarming because I saw how awkward Caer was during the process yet I also witnessed his great love for children. The way his eyes glistened when he discovered something new about Leice.
"She likes apples!" maligayang sabi ni Caer saka binuhat si Leice. "See? Naubos n'ya agad 'yong applesauce!"
I only laughed at his reaction as he fed her in their kitchen. Tinuturuan ko si Caer kung paano magpakain dahil natatakot siyang baka raw mabulunan ang anak n'ya. Nag-e-enjoy si Caer sa pagsubo ng pagkain kay Leice nang tumunog ang cellphone ko. I lifted my phone and Caer briefly nodded, not taking his glance at his daughter. I had to excuse myself because it was rare for me to have phone calls. Kahit sa labas ng bahay ay wala naman akong pinagbibigyan ng number ko. Agad ko itong sinagot nang makarating ako sa balkonahe.
"Hello?"
"A-ate?" It was Mareena and she was crying. "Ate Solstice. . ."
Sandali akong natigilan bago unti-unting bumilis ang tibok ng puso. I didn't ask how she got my number. Mas naging balisa pa nga ako dahil sa tinig n'yang dehado. Tumikhim ako upang mas maging kalmado ang dating. Hindi naman nila siguro alam ang tungkol kay Leven. My hand felt cold all of the sudden and my stomach churned at the thought that they were the ones who find out about my son.
"Mareena, may nangyari ba? Bakit ka umiiyak?"
"Ate, sorry. . ." Humihikbing saad n'ya. "Hindi ko kasi talaga alam 'yong g-gagawin. W-wala akong alam. Bobo ako tulad ng sabi ni Daddy. Wala akong kwenta sabi ni Mommy. Ate Sol, sorry talaga. . ."
Devastation reverberated through her voice. Ngayon ko lang narinig na halos manginig ang boses ni Mareena. She has always been cheerful and nice. Pero ang boses n'ya ngayon ay taimtim na nanghihingi ng saklolo.
"Hey," I blew out a breath. "Paano ba ako makakatulong?"
I knew that Mareena wouldn't call me if she didn't need any help. My heart was tearing apart that I wasn't there for her. Hindi rin naman p'wedeng samahan siya ni Kuya Adren dahil nasa dulo sila ng tagpuan. They can't help each other because they were the enemies of each side.
"Ate Solstice, pinipilit po kasi nila akong l-labanan si Kuya para sa kompanya. . ." She sobbed like a child. "If I don't do that, ipapakasal nila ako sa ibang bansa. And the man is twenty years older than me! I begged mommy not to do it! Pero tinatakot n'ya ako na gagawin n'ya 'yon kung di ako papayag sa gusto n'ya."
Napasinghap ako. That wasn't impossible, gagawin ni Dayanara ang lahat para lang kay Alfos. She probably only conceived Mareena because Alfos wanted children. Kaya naman parang laruan lang ang anak n'ya sa paraan kung paano n'ya ito ipamigay.
"May plano ba kayo? Where do I step in?"
"A-ate, okay lang ba talaga? P-p'wede ka naman humindi. Nahihiya ako sa 'yo dahil alam ko namang iniiwasan mo kami. Pinilit ko pa si Kuya Caer na ibigay ang numero mo. A-ate, hindi ko talaga kaya. A-ayoko sa mga pinapakilala sa akin ni M-mama. A-ate. . ."
I sighed, it was exhilarating to even think about it. How could I possibly say no? Galit ako kay Alfos at Dayanara pero labas si Mareena sa mga pinaggagawa nila. Sa paraan din ng pagkwento ni Mareena, alam ko na agad na puno siya ng takot sa katawan. Her situation is disturbing, why would a teenager talk to someone who's twenty years older than her? Nanggagalaiti na talaga ako kay Dayanara. She would do anything for Alfos! Even following his orders blindly.
"Ano ba ang pinapagawa sa 'yo para di na kayo mag-usap ng mga investors ng nanay mo?" I asked, direct to the point. I was sure that those who Mareena talked to are possible investors. Baka gusto nilang bilhin ang shares na available pa sa kompanya ng Reverio para makuha nila ang control dito. Adren currently has the CEO's favor, of course he's currently on the upper hand because of it.
She spilled the plan of having a business plan that will lure investors to take their side. Napahilot naman ako ng sintido ko dahil magaling din talaga sila pero tanga rin at the same time. They will offer a lot of perks and benefits than Adren's initial offer. Pero halos wala na silang makukuha kung itutuloy nila ito. It isn't even breakeven, lugi talaga sina Mareena pero pakiramdam ko ay pinapairal lang ni Alfos ang pride n'ya kaya nila ito papanindigan. He really doesn't want Adren to inherit the assets that the Reverios are currently handling.
"I'll try to intervene, okay?" I assured her. "Maghahanap din ako ng mga marunong talaga pagdating sa business. . . I will try to prolong the discussion further so your safety is still intact."
I was in the medical field for pete's sake! Although, I could still try my luck to go the directors, alam ko naman na magiging mahirap 'yon dahil wala naman akong relasyon o koneksyon sa kanila. It's a risk that I'm willing to take for Mareena. Iniisip ko rin na kausapin si Adren pero dehado rin 'yon. He might not listen to me because I'm taking Mareena's side.
Sumsakit ang ulo ko dahil sa mga desisyon nila. Agad ko naman ginawan ng aksyon kung paano ako sisingit sa problema ng mga Reverio. I planned it all for only a week. And the result was either a complete failure or if luck permits, it could at least prolong the absurd decisions of Danayara and Alfos.
I choose to wear the remaining pearls that I have. Ito lang ang hindi ko magawang ibenta dahil si Etienne mismo ang nagbigay nito sa akin. I trace the jewelry using my fingers and sighed. I slowly put it on my neck and made sure it would emphasize my collarbones. Sinuot ko rin ang pearl earrings ko.
I wore a sleeveless white dress and partnered with a simple black blazer. I looked modest enough as I applied a touch of mascara on my eyes. I even applied foundation on even if my pale cheeks would only look chalky because the makeup brand that I had in stock wasn't in its best state. I ended the look with the application of red lipstick on my lips.
"Hindi namin kailangan ng tulong mo," angil ni Dayanara nang makita ako sa loob ng bahay nila.
Hindi ko naman ginustong maging matapobre. Pero umikot ang mata ko at napagtantuan na ibang-iba na rin pala ang buhay nila. The house was relatively small compared to the Reverio mansion. Hindi ko inakalang makakayanan ni Alfos na umalis sa karangyaan na binigay sa kan'ya ni Lolo. So, Adren probably has the mansion now, huh?
"Ayokong umasa sa anak ng isang pokpok. Bakit? Gagamitin mo na rin ba ang katawan mo upang tulungan kami? Gaya ng nanay mo?" pangaakusa sa akin ni Dayanara.
I winced as my eyes flashed with anger. Ang kapal talaga ng mukha ng isang ito. Hindi ko kinakaya kung saan siya kumukuha ng supply ng kayabangan.
"Mommy. . ." Mareena said, almost pleadingly. "Nandito si Ate Sol kasi nagmakaawa ako. Siya na lang ang makakatulong sa atin. You know that the directors will not take me seriously. I'm still young and. . ."
She's a woman. Parang may bumabara sa lalamunan ko. I know where she's coming from. Kahit may binatbat naman siya, mamaliitin siya ng mga nandito dahil lang sa babae siya. Pero hindi dapat, I know that Mareena is also capable if only she learns more about business. Sana lang ay doon siya pinag-focus ni Dayanara. If only people could see how opportunities were not given equally — it always favors a certain person, group or a particular side.
"Ako na muna ang haharap sa directors at investors, pero may nakausap naman na ako na p'wedeng maging spokesperson ni Mareena. Although, you have to pay for the service. I could not give any financial help —"
"Hindi rin naman kailangan," matigas na giit ni Dayanara at nagawa pang humalukipkip. "Hindi kami tatanaw ng utang na loob sa iyo."
"I never asked for that. What I asked in return is Mareena's freedom. For pete's sake, Dayanara. Bata pa lang si Mareena! She still has a life even if you were the one who conceived her! Let her freaking live!"
She glared at me. "Ano bang alam mo, ha? Ikaw itong nagtago dahil sa kahihiyan! You're probably also the reason why Kaiaria died, huh?! Balita ko ay nagkakamabutihan kayo ni Caer ulit. Malandi ka rin talaga tulad ng nanay mo! You even killed Kaia—"
My palm felt like scorching after it harshly landed on her cheeks. Natigilan ako dahil sa nagawa ko. It just felt wrong to hurt her. But why did she have to spit those words at me? Hindi n'ya alam ang naranasan ko. Ni hindi nga ako nanghingi ng tulong sa kanila noon!
"You whor—"
"Mommy, ano ba!" singhal ni Mareena na halos naiiyak na. Napasapo siya sa kan'yang pisngi. "Kung babastusin mo lang din si Ate Solstice ay sasama na lang ako sa kan'ya! Iiwan ko na lang kayo! I hate that I have to go against my own sibling because of your rivalry! I don't need the money! Ayoko rin kunin ang kompanya kay kuya! That's not even my dream!"
"Mareena!" Dayanara growled, obviously livid that her own daughter was against her.
Patuloy na humihikbi si Mareena habang nakatingin sa akin. Her eyes expressed her remorse for dragging me in their mess.
"Please, just this once, respetuhin mo naman si ate Solstice. Kahit ako na lang ang mura-murahin mo. Huwag lang si ate. . . Pagod na rin 'yan sa panghuhusga ng iba. Tama na, mommy."
Hindi ako agad nakapagsalita dahil pakiramdam ko ay may alam siya na hindi dapat n'ya natuklasan. My throat felt itchy as if the words were stuck on it. It took a few seconds before they both calmed down. Natigilan si Dayanara at hindi na muling binuka ang bibig. I sighed in response. That was better than expected. Akala ko ay magagalit pa siya sa kapatid ko.
I went back to the main office of the Reverios after all the years that I haven't visited the place. Kabado ako dahil ito ang unang beses na haharap ako sa kanila para sa isang presentation. This wasn't my forte, ang totoo nga ay isa ito sa mga ayaw ko talaga. The reason why I was grateful that the Reverios agreed that I could pursue medicine. I hated numbers. I hated statistics. And I still hate business as of today.
Tulad noon, naghahari pa rin ang itim at puti na kulay sa buong lugar. Every employee looks like a salaryman. Kumpletong uniporme at bilang na mga hakbang. Ni hindi nga yata sila nagtitinginan o nagbabatian man lang.
Sumakay ako ng elevator at ramdam ko na agad ang tension. The worst case scenario is Adren being present in the meeting. I have to cross out Lolo because I doubt he's healthy enough to still engage in monthly meetings like this. Kailangan ko lang gawing mabango ang pangalan ni Mareena at bahala na ang na-hire naming substitute n'ya sa mga susunod na meeting. I just have to supervise it for a while.
The meeting room felt cold as my sight roamed around every corner. Nakatitig sila sa akin at halos nanglalaki ang mga mata. I went into hiding because of Leven and I'm sure my absence from the Reverios made them conclude that the entire family already abandoned me.
"Good morning," I briefly greeted. "I'm here because Mareena is currently sick. Rest assured that everything tackled in this meeting will also go directly to my sister since she's one of the major stockholders as of the moment. . ."
Adren, Mareena and I had a lot of shares here. Pero umamin sa akin si Dayanara na binenta na nila 'yong sa akin. That makes me almost an outsider, my grip tightened on my dress. I could have sue them for doing that, pero sa sitwasyon ngayon, I have to help Mareena.
Pumasok na si Adren na halos blangko ang mukha. He stared at me for a while but also nonchalantly dismissed my existence. Ramdam ko na di siya pabor sa pagtulong ko sa kabila. What did he expect me to do? Mareena's the one who's suffering, hindi lang naman si Dayanara at Alfos. Kung sana ay kinuha lang n'ya ang kapatid namin mula sa mga 'yon, I wouldn't be here!
Adren was wearing a suit, perfectly showing his nice figure. Malinis at plantsado, mukha pa ngang bagong bili. He always looked uptight, pero mas mukha siyang seryoso ngayon.
The meeting was about to start when I raised my hand.
"Before we proceed with the monthly meeting, I would like to present something. . ." I swallowed hard. This was freaking unethical but I took my chances. I had to present Mareena's capabilities in front of them.
"Go on," Adren said. Tumango siya habang may kinakalikot sa kan'yang phone. "You can present your idea."
He fucking knows.
Lalong nagtahip-tahip ang puso ko dahil pakiramdam ko alam na agad ni Adren ang mga galaw ko. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano pero nagmatigas pa rin ako. I inserted my flash drive on the computer so my presentation would work. Namuo ang butil ng pawis sa aking noo dahil pakiramdam ko may nakatingin sa akin. Maraming mata ang nagmamatyag sa akin. I know they're waiting for me to embarrass myself. Pero may tiwala naman ako na kahit papaano ay magbabago ang tingin nila kay Mareena. I just have to put her in a good light.
The door went ajar.
"Akala ko ba may flight ka?" Adren asked the newcomer. My hand felt cold as I was moving the cursor of the mouse.
"I ditched," he playfully answered. Narinig ko ang paggalaw ng isang swivel chair.
Fuck.
My sight automatically traveled towards his direction. His stance was still the same. Parang mapupugto ang hininga ko nang mapagtantuan na siya nga 'yon.
Etienne Soteiro lazily sat down on a chair near Adren. He was wearing a black turtleneck underneath his beige coat.
Bakit siya nandito?
"Ah," Etienne glanced at my direction. "There's a presentation?"
Nanglalamig ang buong katawan ko dahil hindi ko inakalang isa na rin siya sa mga may hawak ng Reverio. My heart wanted to burst because of the never ending palpitation.
Pumalatak si Etienne bago n'ya ako tingnan muli. "Sino ka nga ulit? I don't really remember irrelevant people."
"Etienne," ani Adren.
Di ko alam bakit nagtutubig ang mga mata ko. Geez, naaalala ko si Leven. Hindi ko matingnan nang diretso si Etienne dahil kay Leven. The days that my son begged me just to show him to his father were coming back. The constant longing for his attention and care that I couldn't provide.
Wala akong pakialam kung wala na siyang pakialam sa akin. Pero paano si Leven?
I stiffened when I noticed his glacial stare at me. I felt like a criminal on her death row. Hinihintay na lang ang hatol n'ya sa akin upang mas masaktan ako.
Etienne can really be cruel if he wants to, huh?
Etienne coldly played with his lips. Ngumuso siya bago ako bigyan ng isang ngiti.
"Solstice Lavender Reverio," he uttered with distaste. "I wonder why you had to come back?"
"I'm h-here. . ." I trembled. Wala akong stage fright pero hindi ko kayang gawing buo ang boses ko. My thoughts are also scattered. "To present. . ."
Etienne smirked, mockingly. His hair is shining because of the sunlight being reflected on him. Natutop ang labi ko dahil hindi ko rin talaga paano siya makakausap nang matino.
"It makes me wonder. . ." Etienne coldly stated, reclining on his own chair. "Why did you have to hide from your own family?"
❛ ━━━━━━･❪♀❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜
happy heart's day po! Next update will be on friday (FOR BOC).
ᥫ᭡ li