• • •
"Sloan."
I groan and hearing no response I moan his name again "Sloan."
"What?" He hisses emerging from his bedroom with his hair at all different angles and his eyes narrowed at me.
"Don't what me asshole, your not the one puking at all hours."
"No. But you are waking me at all hours." He drawls crossing his arms.
He's mad at me, I get it.
"Why are you mad?" I ask sitting up from the sofa.
Ronan's snort interrupts us from the kitchen.
"I'm tired Evanna. That's why I am mad. You wake me up like I can help you."
I having been staying with the boys for a week now. Once Sloan realised that I actually had nothing he gave in and let me stay. Luckily I had a bag of clothes in the boot of papa's car from when we last went on holiday. For once I wasn't mad that he had forgotten them.
I only lasted 2 nights in his bed as he said he would take the sofa. That is until he saw I would be waking him up every time I run to the bathroom to puke my guts up. Then he kicked me out and said I could have the sofa so I would be closer to the toilet. Turns out he still couldn't get much sleep. Whoops.
"I need help sometimes." I shrug my shoulders.
"You won't let me touch you." He deadpans.
"It makes the feeling worse but I still need some water or what not."
"Whatever. I'm going back to bed, It's 6 in the morning. Leave me alone this time." He glares before turning around and slamming his bedroom door shut.
I grumble while redoing my ponytail from it's messy state.
"Here. You need to keep your fluids up." Ronan mutters while handing me a glass of water.
I smile gently, "Thanks Ronan." I pause, "Sorry if I have been waking you."
He waves me off, "I'm an early riser."
I snort, "Could not be me." Except the baby wants to change that I guess.
"I thought the whole when you were sick was in the name? Morning sickness?" He sits down opposite me and stretches his legs out. Ronan is a big guy so I constantly see him trying to make extra room for himself.
"I thought so too." I nod my head. "Except my doctor says it can happen at any time."
We are quiet after that. I don't really know Ronan except from the fact that he is ship-boy's best friend and they live together. I hope I'm not making him uncomfortable by being here.
Taking a sip of my water I avoid his gaze. I can feel him watching me and it makes me nervous. Sloan has probably told him everything about me so he most likely hates me as well.
"Stop that."
My eyes flick to his in confusion, "Stop what?"
"I don't hate you. Your not in the way. Stop worrying, it's bad for the baby and Sloan would have my nuts if he knew I was letting you sit here in anxiety."
I nod my head in agreement. Ever since I had kinda moved in with Sloan he has been more demanding. Don't do that. Don't touch that, it's too heavy. He has all of a sudden become kind of possessive over me and the baby
"He does care. He just doesn't know it yet." Ronan reassures me. "Tell me. What happened a couple years ago, is it all a misunderstanding?"
The dreaded conversation, I knew it was going to happen. Do I be honest or lie?
Fiddling with the blankets on top of me I think about how I should answer. Can I really leave myself that vulnerable to Ronan? Would he tell Sloan? Somehow looking at him I feel I can trust him, so I tell the truth.
"Yes. It was." I whisper and think back to how humiliating it all was.
"You should tell him that."
I shake my head sadly, "He hates me."
There was nothing else to say because that was the truth. No matter how much I could deny fully hating him, he did. That was the bottom line. The room is quiet from then on as Ronan makes himself some breakfast, he passes me some pancakes and I look up in surprise.
"Eat." Is all he says.
However I only get 2 bites in before I'm off for the toilet again. Heaving out everything in my stomach my throat feels sore and I can feel a headache coming on. Sighing I lean my head against my arm on the toilet and rub my stomach.
"Here." Is whispered from beside me. Lifting my head slightly I can make out Sloan's tired eyes handing me my glass of water.
I murmur my thanks and slowly sip the water.
"Maybe you should just rest for today?" He wonders smoothing back the hair off my sticky forehead as he looks over my face.
I immediately shake my head, "I have a project to finish that I haven't even started yet. I don't have any of my equipment as it's all back in my room. She won't let me grab them. I can only do it in class now and -"
"Ellie, breathe" he commands grasping ahold of my shoulders. "Relax. You can rest for one day and go back in tomorrow."
It's the first time he has called me Ellie. I told him the other day that I didn't like it as it is what my mother demands to call me yet he has been using it to piss me off.
"I can get some things for you if you want?" He offers rubbing my arms up and down as I shiver from the cold floor I am sat on.
My breath hitches at the contact and I have to shake myself out of it to reply to him. "Uh - I could use a sketch pad?" I ask unsurely.
"Okay. I'll get you a sketch pad." Without another word he scoops me up and into his arms and walks towards the living room. Leaning down he asks me to pick up the blankets so I grab them and haul them into my lap.
Then ignoring Ronan's watchful eyes he enters his bedroom and lays me on the bed. Tucking me under the covers he drapes the blankest over the top. I can feel my eyes droop in exhaustion as he lightly stokes my cheek.
I hear nothing but rustling for a few moments and peak an eye open to see he has put a bowl beside the bed as well as a glass of water and some fruit on a plate.
"Get some rest."
Is the last thing I hear before feeling a whisper of a kiss placed upon my forehead.
• • •
"I want to see!"
Sloan's whiney voice echos from the hallway as I giggle to myself.
"You can't even see anything yet."
"So?" He bangs on the bathroom door once more and I sigh giving up. Opening the door I ignore his puppy dog eyes and instead find Ronan in the kitchen.
"Ronan?"
"Yes Ellie?" he smirks eyeing me from the corner of his eye as he makes himself a sandwich. He definitely heard Sloan grumbling behind me. From our small chat we had a couple mornings ago I had gotten to know him a bit better and one of the things he loves is to tease Sloan.
So I'm bringing him in on it.
"Would you like to look at my growing bump?" Sarcasm drips from my voice as I grin.
Ronan doesn't get to reply.
"No." Sloan hisses moving forward and quickly trapping my arms by my side. He is practically hugging me.
I laugh and watch as Ronan shakes his head before heading to the couch.
"Let go of me." I hum trying to stop myself from leaning back against him.
"Fine. You won't show him?" He asks cautiously, his breath moving some of the hairs into my face.
Blowing them up I grin, "Of course not."
He slowly lowers his arms and lets me step forward. Not waiting to look at him I walk to the couch and flop down. He eyes us for a moment before sighing and walking towards his bedroom.
The minute he is out of sight Ronan winks and I start talking, "Do you see how flat my belly is? What bump is ship-boy talking about?" My voice is loud and making sure to cross the apartment and it doesn't take long until I can here his footsteps.
He stops at the doorway, eyes narrowed and something else swirling in his ginger coloured eyes. My breath hitches and I don't have time to move before he is leaning over me on the sofa.
"Okay. My time to leave. Catch you later." Ronan is quick to hop up, grab his bag and leave the apartment.
Now it's just the two of us.
My eyes flick over the strong arms that cage me in towards the couch. Big biceps, big veiny hands. Gosh is it hot in here all of a sudden? My eyes finally travel to his face and catch the smirk on his lips. Damn, I got caught looking.
"Should we do something about your behaviour at the moment?"
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"Hmm." He licks his lips, "I disagree." He whispers leaning down a little more until I can feel his breath on my face.
My breath hitches and I clamp my legs together and squeeze.
He laughs, "Do you need any help, little Thorn?"
"No." I shake my head.
"Lying is a sin."
"So are you."
We watch each other for a moment and then he does something that makes my heart stop. Slowly he brushes his lips across mine, softly teasing and just when I think he is going to kiss me he abruptly pulls away.
"Nope. I can't," Running a hand through his hair his eyes squeeze shut.
My heart immediately drops into my stomach. What? Looking at him I notice he seems to be scolding himself.
Fine.
I move up from the couch and walk over towards the mirror by the door. Pulling my jumper up I turn to the side and inspect my tiny bump.
It's fine.
Sloan follows and smoothes a hand over the bloated area. It's not really a bump yet. Dropping to his knees he presses a kiss before mumbling for the little puck to be good.
I'm fine.
"OK. Uh - I'll see you later." He nods standing back up, avoiding my eyes and shutting the door behind him.
But it's not fine.
With a shaky breath I realise that I wanted him to kiss me.
• • •
"Where are you going?"
"Out." I mutter putting my cup in the sink.
"Where, Evanna?"
I grit my teeth in annoyance. He knows I hate that. It's safe to say that ever since the other day where he blew me off and walked out things have not been the same. More hostile? Check. More arguing? Double check.
"To class."
"Why?"
"I don't need to answer to you." I shrug shoving my trainers on and tying them up.
"Yes you do. You are carrying my baby."
"My baby." I glare.
"It's both your baby." Ronan chimes in from the hallway. I turn and see that his hair is wet so its obvious he had just had a shower.
I huff but don't say anything else. I need to get out, get some air. I feel like I have been stuck here for the past 2 weeks. Which I kinda have but lets not acknowledge that.
"If you must know dad, I have class and a project to finish." I drawl flicking my hair down my back and walking towards the mirror to check my bare face.
"You should be resting."
"No."
"Do you have to disagree with everything I say?" He snarks turning towards the kitchen.
"Yes." I nod and grin. "I'm pregnant ship-boy. I can still be a normal human being."
"Your never normal." He grumbles under his breath but I still manage to catch it. My mouth drops and before I know what I am doing I pick up the nearest pillow and throw it at the back of his head. He stops, turns and raises an eyebrow.
"Fuck you."
"You did." He deadpans.
"Urgg." I narrow my eyes.
"I can make that noise to."
"I'm going. Don't follow me."
With that I make my way out the door. Damn asshole. Am I more hostile because he didn't kiss me? Yes. Do I still wish he did? Absolutely.
Except I'm too pissed at him now so he can shove it. With a nod to myself I step in the elevator once it has arrived. The journey down is short and before I know it I'm at papa's car. I have been trying to get ahold of him but I don't remember his number off by heart.
I never bothered to remember it because it was always on my phone. I haven't heard from mother either. On the one hand I am not surprised yet there is still a small part of me that wishes she was sorry.
Wait. Where are the keys?
My face pales and I look up towards the building and see Sloan dangling them from his finger in the 6th floor window.
Stupid baby brain.
I read last night that it can start any day now. Fun.
Yet something is telling me that this wasn't baby brain. This was just him being one giant asshole. Turning away from him as I feel my eyes start to water I bang my head against the car.
Damn. So close.
No.
I need to go to class. So I'll get there, one way or another.
One second I'm waiting for the lift and the next I'm slamming the apartment door open.
"Shit, Ellie." Ronan jumps.
"Sorry Ronan but I just have to murder him. Where is he?" I all but growl.
I hear his chuckle from behind me as he shuts the door. Whipping around I hold my hand out.
"Give me the keys."
"No."
"They are mine."
"Oh these?" He points to the keys dangling from his hand. His arm is stretched above his head so I can't reach them.
"You mean the keys to the car you stole."
"I didn't steel it." I hiss crossing my arms over my chest and leaning into my right hip.
"You did."
"Just give them to me."
He doesn't reply and instead walks around me and flops down on the couch.
"Why do you always have to be an asshole?" I shout.
"Because you are always fucking stupid." He stands up now glaring at me.
My heartbeat is pounding and I can I feel my face heat up.
"God I hate you so much."
It just slips out but I don't have time to say anything.
Something unrecognisable passes through his eyes, "The feeling is mutual." He mutters.
"I don't want to talk to you anymore." I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat.
"Neither."
"Fine." I nod.
"Fine."
Ronan sighs.
"I'll see you at the scan then. Monday at 10am." I mumble crossing my arms over my stomach.
"Whatever." Shaking his head he turns to leave but stops.
"Monday at 10?" He frowns.
"Yes."
"I'm at practice."
"Well miss practice." I shrug my shoulders.
"No." He scoffs.
"You were there when we made the appointment." I spit emphasising on we.
"I can't miss practice. This baby has already taken over my mind in games let alone practices."
Is he serious? Yet judging by the look on his face he is.
"This baby is yours as well. This baby is the one you promised to be there for every time. Your going back on it already and he or she is not even here yet. Do you need a reminder of what having a baby entails?"
"Fuck off Evanna. I know what having a baby means."
"Do you know what? Go to practice. I'll go alone." Not waiting for a reply I make a beeline to the bathroom and lock myself in.
I feel tears sting my eyes and blink rapidly to try and get rid of them. I don't know how much longer I can stay here. Fighting with him makes me nauseous. Yet knowing I have no where else to go makes me want to bawl.
I just need someone to rely on. Someone to actually talk to.
I feel so alone.
So scared. Everything is changing and I have no control over it. My life, my body, my emotions.
I wish it would just stop for a second so I could catch up.
So that's what I do.
Hearing the apartment door slam I slide to the ground with my back against the door. Pressing a hand against my mouth I muffle my sobs.
I sit there and I cry.
Properly. Something I haven't been allowed to do for years.
Crying is weakness Evanna, mother would say.
I want to see my baby but don't have the scan photo with me. I also am not prepared to go and get it knowing I look like I have drowned in my own tears.
Yet it's like Ronan can sense it as a moment later something is slid under the door.
My scan photo.
• • •
Hi, Honey Bees 💛
So... That happened.
This chapter is really important as it shows the dynamic between them both. How they can hate but care for each other. Like I said it's not going to be any easy process and they are not going to get together just for the sake of the baby.
That's lazy writing and I wouldn't be doing their story any justice.
I have a lot of cliches to beat with the pregnancy trope.
They need to like each other. To love each other and that comes with time.
I do hope I am portraying it right :)
Q's
How did we like this chapter?
What do you think of Sloan's behaviour ?
What do you think about Evanna's behaviour?
What do you think is going to happen next?
Sending you all Love and Light! <3
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See you soon,
Winnie x
winnieiswriting 2022