"On the sunniest days, when you miss me and think you hear my voice, remind yourself, it's just the echos of a cloudless mind."
___________________________
REGULUS BLACK
I think I am starting to die a terrible, painful death.
I think there is an infectious disease spreading within my body.
And it's a rather fucking insidious one at that.
Because the symptoms—the symptoms are not physical and they do not ache me. Instead, they allure me.
I've gone to this school my whole life and it's never looked like this. So, so vibrant.
Every time I leave my common room there's a swarm of bees rumbling in my stomach. Demanding to find their honey.
My mind, my own clear, rational, mind has betrayed me. Reduced to a vessel for me to reflect on intrusive thoughts. Positive thoughts.
The symptoms are killing me slowly, delicately, and I think I want to be dying forever.
This feeling I have...what do they call it?
Maybe i've forgotten, or maybe I never really knew.
What i'm more curious about is why?
There are two new forms of bacteria in my life that could have spread this contagion to me.
Spring, and her.
I've always hated the spring. It brings beautiful things into blossom just to tear all the petals off with a slight drizzle and breeze. The worst part about it is, there's absolutely nothing you can do. Just watch them dance away with the wind.
I've never hated her. Strongly disliked at the most. She does selfless things and has little care for her own life, it drives me mad. The chances I have of a future with her—not that I want one or anything—are slim enough without her stacking the odds against us, too. When she appears it's what I want and what I dread.
For the sole reason that, I don't know if i've found her or if i've lost her. The worst part about it is, there's absolutely nothing I can do.
Perhaps it's both.
Perhaps she just lives within the veil of spring, a flourish of possibilities and new life. Possibilities and new life I can't accept. Because I won't—can't bear to watch it slip away.
I think we are impossible, but then again, who ever said that's for me to decide?
This feeling I have...I think they call it yearning.
I fucking love it.
☽☽☽
REMUS LUPIN
"So what do you say? Friends?" Cordelia extends her hand in almost a professional manner.
I stare at her for a few seconds, each blink the processing of one of her words. "Friends..." The word sounds funny coming out of my mouth. Speaking a langue I've heard of, but not one I understand.
She nods curtly, tilting her chin up. "Mhm-hmm."
"Friends..." I say again, or maybe it's the word echoing off the greenhouse walls. Honestly I'll take what I can get, but realistically...how are her and I ever meant to be just friends?
That's the equivalent of putting two opposite sides of a magnet near each other, and then asking them nicely to stay put.
"Jesus, Remus, what are you high? Do you know what that word means? Friends?" Cordelia crossed her arms annoyedly, tapping her foot. "I know that particular line can be a bit blurry for you sometimes."
"Is this because you've been seeing—"
She cuts me off. "How many times do I have to tell you i'm not seeing anyone? Just because you're worried about some imposter—"
I cut her off now. "Worried? I don't know what you mean. No one else could ever play my part," I reply, mimicking her head tilt and a smirk tugging at my lips.
"Honestly," She chuckles in disbelief. "You're so infuriating!"
"Honestly...you're so beautiful."
I know I'm annoying her, but I can't help it. She looks way too fucking good when she's mad.
"Ugh! I'm leaving."
"Why so soon? Feeling nostalgic today, aren't we darling?"
Cordelia turns to walk away. "I'm going to the Owlery not that it's any of your business," She holds her middle finger high above her head. "Goodbye and fuck you!"
The grin on my face can't be contained, and I don't want it to be. "Friends!?" I call after her.
And just before she leaves, she slows to a turn, that dimple on her cheek creasing as she fights off her own smile. "Forever. But you're dense if you think I'll fall for you again."
"Like I said before, i'm not worried," I shrug, stuffing my hands into my pocket. "I know you're kind of a klutz,"
☽☽☽
CORDELIA EVANS
Today is the day.
My life is slowly falling back into order, or maybe it's falling out pleasantly.
Either way, the sun has come and the clouds have moved away, creating the perfect concoction for a quiet brain. I no longer detest silence as much as I once thought.
Regulus and I have created a perfect schedule for seeing each other. One where there is no risk of anyone seeing us, seeing each other. They are scarce moments, brief moments, but necessary moments.
Because where would I be without Regulus Black?
Where would I go without the gravity of my solar system keeping me in orbit?
The answer is: Lost in space, drifting aimlessly amongst the stars, but always seeking out the brightest one. Even if I couldn't see it, even if I didn't know it was there, I would always search for it. For him.
I think Regulus Black is my newest best friend, I only wish he could meet my oldest. I know they'd get along smashingly.
That or hate each other immensely.
But never mind that.
Because today is the day I'm ready to let go.
I pregamed with coffee, espresso surging through me. The shake in my hands from caffeine is the perfect distraction to have at a time like this.
I gather a deep breath and reset. Reset everything. My posture, my heart rate. I knock on the dormitory door with every intention of keeping my perfect, (only semi) echoing mind.
This isn't a bad idea.
This isn't a bad idea.
This isn't a bad idea.
I hear feet scuffling quietly behind the door and for whatever odd reason I can feel every hair on my body prickle.
The door opens, and it happens.
The energy of the air surrounding us changes and crackles.
Every atom in my body stills. Paralyzed, feeling angry yet devastated by the sheer beauty before me. Frozen because I don't know what to do with myself. That's usually what happens when I'm in the same space as him, though.
I guess not much has changed.
A single tear rolls down my cheek. "Hello, Sirius, may I come in?"
__________
no song: wrote the stupid quote at the top by: myself.
exited my depression era so now we'll be back to regular updates 💪 this is kinda a filler hope u don't mind
y'all i've been thinking about this lately, technically couldn't cordelia and regulus' ship name also be wolfstar???