Harry took me home in his limo. I might have enjoyed it if not given the circumstances, but I still had to admit; it was pretty nice. There was about a billion people crowding the streets, and their stupid camera flashes were blinding me. I hated attention. I would never be good as a celebrity, no matter how much training I went through.
I had no idea what would happen next. I told Harry that I wanted to go home and forget this whole thing ever happened, though that was the biggest lie I've ever told, and I've told a lot of lies. He knew I was lying but didn't mention it. I could tell by the tired, pained look in his that this wasn't the last time I would see him in person. When his green eyes flickered to me, I quickly looked away. He was gorgeous. And he liked me. So, bonus.
But I knew it would never work. He was a pop star, loved by all, and meanwhile I was a little seventeen year old getting over a broken heart. And then there's Louis. Louis would never allow me to be with him, even if he was okay with it. I would certainly not be okay with it. All of a sudden, Abby's voice popped into my head. Louis was twenty-two now. I remember this because she called me on Christmas Eve and had a complete seizure about it. That meant he was five years older than me. That was a lot. I mean, my parents are a whopping eleven years apart, but it just felt weird for some reason. Harry was only eighteen, going on nineteen soon. Again Abby's voice told me that this was true.
My heart sank when they limo pulled up to my street. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want this to be over. I would never want it to be over. But I guess I would have to get over it, like how I almost got over Jared. Kind of.
I grabbed Harry's hand, swallowing as massive crowds formed by our house. Our eyes met, but only for a moment before he pulled his away, twisted pain written all over his face. My bottom lip quivered. Why do things have to be this way?
When we finally got to our house in the middle of the street, shoving all of the paparazzi out of the way, I jerked back. Robbie was going to murder me alive. I hated seeing him disappointed in me, even though I knew it was my fault. I could've ended it sooner, I thought. I could've prevented all of this pain, but no. I'm way too incredibly greedy to even think of such a thing. Always wanting more, and more, and more..
Harry pulled me towards the door, towards him. He gripped my wrists, and even though the one was hurt, possibly broken, I couldn't feel any pain except for the agony in my heart. It was unbearable.
His lip twitched, and I could tell he was trying to think of something to say. The police have gotten a lot of the crowd under control, but some crazy girls were either shouting curses at me or yelling, "Kiss her! Kiss her, Harry!"
And believe me, despite everything I had going with Louis, I wanted him to. Why? I don't know. I made my brown eyes plead up at him, but he simply released me. He walked back to the vehicle, head down, back facing me. And he was gone.
----
"Clarissa. Claire. Clairedy."
I still don't understand, to this day, why my family calls me Clairedy. Like, "clarity" or something? I laughed in my mind. My life was anything but clear.
"So, you snuck out last night, went to a concert, had an affair with one of the band members, and expect us to take you back and forgive you?"
I was very, very grateful that he hadn't learned about the gambling yet. Jonah was the only one who vaguely suspected that I had some sort of problem, but never asked me about it.
"It wasn't an affair," I growled, fists gripping the edge of the wooden chair I was sitting on. Well, it kind of was an affair, but we didn't do anything. It wasn't this scandalous fling that everyone had seemed to make it out to be.
Robbie covered his face with his hands. "You are such a.."
Then he proceeded to call me every name in the book. I couldn't blame him. Even I hated myself right now.
"I know I am. I am probably the worst sister in the history of sibling scandals. I know that I am a horrible human being and I don't deserve to breathe your oxygen, but please, Robbie.." My voice began to shake at the end, along with the rest of my body. I wasn't saying that to mock him. I was completely truthful this time.
"But please what?"
Both of our eyes shot towards Jonah as he slammed the front door, tossing today's paper on the couch. His brown eyes widened when he saw me.
"Claire!"
I shot up from my chair as he ran to me, engulfing me in a huge hug that lifted me off of the floor. I could hear Robbie groan but I ignored it, so happy to finally smell Jonah's familiar cologne and to get my hand tangled in his hair.
"Claire, Claire, Claire.."
He ran his hand up and down my back when I squeezed him tighter to me.
"Are we done with brother-sister bonding time?"
I grimaced as Robbie's voice sliced through my brief time of happiness. Reluctantly, I let go of him. I was so happy just to see his face again that I couldn't get the smile off of my face.
Jonah sat down, and I could tell by the look on his face that Robbie's lecture wasn't going to be fun. They never are.
"Do you know where people go when they disobey rules?"
I sighed. "Jail."
"Or the graveyard."
My eyes flickered up to Robbie's blue ones. I was not liking where this was going.
"I Googled this 'Louis Tomlinson' guy. Do you know he's twenty-two?"
I nodded. Suddenly the floor became very interesting.
"Do you know that because you slept with him that he could be arrested?"
I could feel my cheeks get red, half of it embarrassment and half of it anger. "We didn't do anything."
"I know that. But do the police know that?"
"Shut your mouth and they won't find out he was even with me."
I could practically see steam coming out of his ears. Jonah was silent, twiddling his thumbs.
"Room," Robbie snarled, shooting darts into me just with his eyes. "Now."
I don't know why I obeyed him, but I did. I leaned up against my door, ear to the wood, and listened:
"Jonah, what the hell are we going to do with her?"
"I-I don't know."
"Someone has to handle her. And she's not scared of me anymore."
"What? No, I couldn't.."
There was a long pause. My palms began to sweat.
"You're her favorite, Jonah, everybody knows that. Since she was only little."
Well, yeah, because he was the only one that didn't yell or sit on me. Ah, those were the days. Max helping Luke hold me down while one of them burped on me. Yay childhood.
"What do you think I'm going to do to her?"
In a hushed voice, I heard Robbie say, "You can break her."
My heart stopped. Excuse me? No, no, no..
"Do you realize what you're saying? You sound like an assassin or something, Robbie! This is ridiculous!"
"I only meant break her fighting spirit! If she continues this, who knows where she'll end up? Do you really want our baby sister in a juvenile detention center?"
"Fine. Fine, fine, fine.."
Robbie has never called me his baby sister. Ever. Anger surged through me. I'll show them, I thought. I can take care of myself. I don't need anyone, especially not them. I was lying so, so bad but that didn't matter. I was used to it. My life was built on lies.
My window was practically begging me to do this.
----
My lips quirked into a smirk, my fingers brushing over my winning deck. I was going to make it big. The table waited impatiently as I let the tension grew, knowing that there was no way I could lose this. Placing down my winning card, I laughed, "Now, I believe I was promised five-hundred dollars?"
The man across from me groaned in defeat and hesitantly pushed the money across the table. I was satisfied. That was a total of nine hundred dollars just in the past hour, cash. I wondered how I ever lived without this.
"Hey. Clarissa?"
I glanced behind me and saw a familiar face. "Aye, Bid D."
He was drunk, but that was okay. I was used to him being that way. In fact, I would be shocked to see him sober. I played with him a couple of times, lost a few, but won most. If he wasn't such a hood and a drunk and whatnot, he would be kind of cute..
"I haven't seen you for a couple of days."
I nodded, confused. Big D isn't the one to make small talk.
"In fact, you never paid me back."
I furrowed my brow. "Of course I payed you back. Like, two weeks ago, remember?"
My heart skipped a few beats when he slammed his fist down on the table. "How can I remember somethin' that never happened?"
But I did pay him back this time. His drink must've gone to his head. I rose up out of my seat, starting to get worried. He was a bit more drunk that usual. That was never good, no matter who it was. He pushed me so my back was up against the wall. I made my face hard, no emotion. He was an animal. He smelled fear.
"Listen, Pretty Face. I gotta gun in my back pocket, so you'd better pay up."
I squinted at him, trying to convince myself that he was bluffing. "No."
Mistake number one.
Big D pushed his body against mine and revealed something black and shiny in his hands. With a quick stab to my stomach, barrel up against me, I realized he wasn't bluffing.
He trailed the gun all of the way up to my neck. "You sure? I'd hate to mess you up." I shuddered when he ran a finger down my cheek. I didn't know what to do. Panicking, I pulled out my wristlet and shuffled through the bills.
"Here, here, take anything. Please."
Mistake number two.
Big D snatched the wristlet from me and threw it across the floor. "I don't like liars, Coligan.." His grip tightened on the gun. I did the only thing I thought of; kicked him in the place where it hurts most.
Mistake number three, Clairedy, you're out.
The gun shot shook the entire place. People were already piling out of the doors in a desperate attempt to avoid the police. I shrieked and ducked down under a table and a second shot seemed to bounce off of the walls. My ears were ringing, and I could hear him growling and gritting his teeth. I shuffled out from under the table and ran, ran, ran!
Big D managed to grab a hold of my hood and yanked me back, choking me in the process. "Now, look what you've done, Pretty Face!"
I could already hear the police sirens. Why was I always at the wrong place at the wrong time?
All of a sudden, Big D's neck jerked to the side. Someone had punched him, hard. And guess who it was.
The famous Louis Tomlinson.
Unfortunately, Louis was about to get creamed. Big D wasn't named Big D for no reason. He was only my age but about as huge as Robbie, maybe a good foot taller than Louis was.
"Claire, get out of here!"
Yeah, like that was going to happen.
Instead, I grabbed a chair and whammed Big D as he was regaining his thoughts, grabbed Louis' hand and got out of there as fast as I could.
And for the third time that week I was out on the streets of New York freaking City.