How do I even start to explain everything to them?
My mind was running hundreds of thoughts per second as I tossed another pair of sweatpants onto my bed where I was currently organizing everything. I reached back into my set of drawers for a t-shirt and tossed that on the bed as well.
"Don't worry so much, you'll get wrinkles."
I pouted at my brother, who was laying on his own bed across the room, one arm behind his head as he played on his phone.
"Easy for you to say," I grumbled, tossing a pair of yoga pants on my bed. "At least you're moving to Seoul to get additional education."
"And? You're going to become a household name."
"If I succeed."
"If you—" He stopped.
I looked up at him from the pjs I was folding. He rolled his eyes when he noticed my expression.
"Ye-seo, I swear, you are the dumbest smart person I know."
I narrowed my eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"See? That's the dumb side speaking." Seo-jun stood up and made his way over to me. He grabbed the set of pjs out of my hand and started folding them himself.
"It means that you're smart enough to recognize that you are talented and have abilities that others don't usually have." He finished folding and placed it on my bed. He reached for another pair and continued. "But, you're dumb enough to let your doubts win, and stop you from doing what you want to do."
He flicked me on the forehead. "So stop. Fear is an ugly color on you."
I bit my my lip as I grabbed a pair of jeans and started folding. "You really think I can make it?"
He rolled his eyes. "Obviously." He took the jeans out of my hand. "Also, you're horrible at folding. Just....sit down, I can't watch this anymore."
I put my hands up in surrender as I sat down on my bed beside the suitcase. "Don't you have to pack?" I asked.
"Ye-seo, I've been a college student for several years now, and we just moved. How much stuff do you think I have?"
"Well I could say the same but I'm still not packed."
"That's because your whole packing system is chaotic," he nagged, gesturing to the haphazard pile of clothes across my bed. "I mean, this is just a mess. I don't even know what you were trying to do here."
"You pack your way, I pack my way."
"No. We pack my way because it's better." He pointed to the pile of clothes. "Can you please start organizing those? Just looking at them disgusts me."
I sighed. "Fine."
Standing, I started separating the shirts and pants by different lengths as Seo-jun turned on one of his playlists. Smiled without turning, recognizing the opening beats to one of the songs.
"You are the cause of my euphoria," I sang under my breath. "Hey, Seo-jun?"
He hummed.
"Which pile should I put overalls in?"
He halfway turned. "Uh, just make a new pile."
I nodded in understanding before continuing to sift through my clothes, Seo-jun walking over every so often to drop off some he folded into the suitcase. We continued like that for a little bit until we heard the door open downstairs.
I whirled around, eyes wide. I was not ready, I was not prepared, I am going to die.
Seo-jun answered by ruffling my hair. I glared at him as I fixed my fringe.
"Calm down, dumb dumb." He said. He nodded towards the door. "Go ahead down, I'll be right behind you. I'm almost done anyways."
I swallowed and walked towards the door, closing it behind me as I descended the stairs. Slowly, I padded my way to the kitchen.
"Hey mom, hey dad," I greeted.
Mom immediately turned around. "Ye-seo, perfect! Your grandparents are coming over for dinner tonight and I haven't made takoyaki in so long."
She reached over and grabbed my hands. "I could use the help."
"Yes ma'am, of course I'll help." I reached for a few of the items on the table and started putting them away, leaving the ingredients we'd be cooking with out.
"Can I talk to you both quickly though?" I asked, setting out the pan we would need.
Dad patted my head. "It'll have to wait sweetheart. I have to head back out for a meeting. I'll barely make it back by dinner."
I let out a huff. I should've expected he'd have more meetings. The new firm is always busy, and I'm on a limited time schedule.
Which means I'll have to talk to them separately.
"Mom, can I talk to you?" I asked as my dad left the room, the sound of the front door closing close behind.
"Can you wait for a little bit? I'm honestly stressed out right now with my parents coming over and the new house," she sighed, running her hands through her shoulder-length brown hair.
"Yeah, I feel you," I snorted.
She didn't hear me as she started preparing the ingredients. I helped her by chopping up the vegetables and octopus as she got the batter ready. She generously oiled the takoyaki pan and added the batter, adding the chopped octopus, katsuobushi powder, and other vegetables not long after.
I stood off to the side to watch. Behind me, I heard the stairs squeak. I looked over my shoulder as Seo-Jin entered the kitchen. He wasted no time reaching for one of the takoyaki, but mom smacked his hand away.
"No 'hello mom' or 'how was work mom'?" She nagged, gesturing with a pair of chopsticks at him.
"I'm hungry," he whined.
They stood staring at each other for a few minutes. Then, Seo-jun lurched forward and grabbed one, sticking the whole thing in his mouth without hesitation. I burst out laughing as he immediately started fanning his mouth and mom smirked with satisfaction.
"Should've waited," she sing-songed.
He mumbled something unintelligible as he struggled to swallow.
She turned back around and started on something else. Seo-jun raised his eyebrows as if to ask, what'd she say?
I switched my eyes from him, to our mom, and back, then pulled a face. I haven't gotten the chance.
He rolled his eyes and sighed before gesturing to her with his hands. Just do it already.
I shook my head.
He raised his hands and made wing motions with his arms. Why? Chicken?
I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows. You do it then.
He smirked and crossed his arms as well, leaning forward a bit. This is all you.
"What is happening right now?"
We both turned to our mom, who at some point had turned around and was now looking at us with a concerned and slightly terrified expression.
"Just teasing Ye-seo," Seo-jun said, popping a takoyaki ball into his mouth. His expression changed into one of pain. "Ow, dang that's hot."
"Actually, mom, can I please talk to you about something?" I asked.
"Don't you want to wait for your father?" She wiped her hands on her apron.
No because if I keep it in any longer I might actually die. "Please, mom."
She sighed. Taking the pot of ramen off the hot stove and turning off the heat she gave me her undivided attention.
"Well," she started. "What is it?"
Somehow that one sentence causes me even more fear.
I swallowed thickly. "I got a job."
Her eyes lit up. "Oh that's great news—"
"It's in Seoul."
She stopped herself, mouth dropping open. She shook her head slightly as she collected herself. "We just moved here, so we'll have to work out when we can travel there to see you."
She looked so concerned and hopeful at the same time. I frowned and took a deep breath. That wasn't even the worst part.
"I got scouted—" I played with the edge of my crop top, "—for Big Hit Entertainment."
"....what?"
"I'm going to be an idol, mom."
I looked up at her, feeling the pressure build behind my eyes. She was completely still, staring at me with an unreadable expression.
Please say something.
Anything.
"I—I can't deal with this right now."
Anything but that.
She turned her back to me, hands on the countertop. I felt my nose twitch, but I forced it down. I refused to cry.
"Mom," I started.
The doorbell rang.
Her head lifted. "Ye-seo, can you get that?"
I lowered my head. "Yes ma'am."
I left the kitchen, Seo-jun close behind. He didn't say a word, just stood behind me as I opened the door for our grandparents. He spoke to them and welcomed them when my mouth refused to work, leading them to the dining room as we watched mom move around, placing the dishes she had made on the table.
She couldn't even look at me.
I had broken my mother.
Seo-jun sat quietly beside me as I stared absently at the corner of the table in front of me. I listened as mom made small talk with her parents, sitting down at one end of the table.
"So, Ye-seo sweetie, how's the move working for you?" My grandma asked in Japanese.
I forced a smile. "It's good." I answered.
Her eyes crinkled at the corners. "I'm glad." She chuckled. "At least you already knew the language. When we first moved, this old geezer taught me nothing!"
I let out a small laugh at my grandpa's offended expression. Seeing that everyone had already put food on their plate, I started to grab some. The dinner table turned to small talk again.
The jingle of keys and the sound of the front door opening and closing caused me to look up from my food, which I had been stuffing myself with to avoid conversation.
My father had barely sat down at the table before my mom announced, "Sung-ho honey, did you know?"
I froze. My father hummed in answer, chopsticks in his mouth.
She bit into a takoyaki ball. "Ye-seo got a job today. She's going to be an idol."
My dad choked on his food. Clearing his throat, he turned to me. "Is this true?" He asked, switching to Korean.
I bit my lip and nodded.
He sighed. "Are you sure about this?" He placed his chopsticks down. "What about your degree? Are you willing to just throw that away?"
I opened my mouth to respond, but my mother spoke before I got the chance. "And what if you fail? Where will you go? The entertainment industry is so hard to make a living in."
My dad spoke again. "How did you even get scouted?"
I swallowed. "I got noticed street dancing this morning and a man gave me his card."
"Street dancing? I thought that was just a temporary way to make money until you found a job." My mother made eye contact with my father before they turned back to me.
"Well, I ended up with a job out of it so," I ate some ramen before I looked back up at their faces.
"Ye-seo, sweetheart," my father started. "If you fail, your mother and I—we won't be there to pick up the pieces. You'll be alone."
I took a deep breath. Do they think I'm that fragile?
"She won't be by herself, because I'm going with her."
I looked over to my brother in surprise. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the acceptance letter.
"I'm going to Seoul National University, and I'll be right beside my sister as she achieves her dream."
He looked at me, giving me a small smile of encouragement. I gave him a smile in return.
We turned back to our parents. "I still don't like this," my mother objected.
"I'm going," I said. "I already accepted."
Our parents looked at each other.
"What time do you leave?" Dad asked.
Seo-jun answered for the both of us. "In about 15 hours a car is coming to pick us up."
Mom looked down with a choked gasp. "That soon?" Her voice was slightly raised. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"To be fair," I started. "I just got scouted this morning. This is the only time I can go."
My dad was silent as mom waved her hands in the air. "This is ridiculous! This is why you can never trust those rich producers." She met my eyes. "You're just a kid."
"I think she should do it."
Everyone at the table turned in shock to my grandfather who was chowing down on his takoyaki.
"Dad, you....understood all of that?" Dad easily switched to Japanese.
Grandpa snorted. "Are you really that ignorant?" He swallowed. "Just as you understand my language, I understand yours. You've been my son for many years now, of course I learned Korean."
He turned to me, switching to Korean. "I think she should take the opportunity. It's not every day you get scouted."
"But, dad—" mom interjected.
"What's the worst that can happen? If she fails, she's smart. She can easily find something else to do." He looked at me with a wide grin and a twinkle in his eye. "Though I doubt she'll fail. There's nothing she will fail if she puts her mind to it."
"And don't call her a kid," he addressed my mother. "You were much younger when you headed off on your own to America."
My hesitant smile turned into a genuine one, Seo-jun struggling to hide his smirk.
My brother tapped me on the shoulder. "We should probably head up, we need a lot of rest and we still need to pack."
I knit my eyebrows in confusion, moving to stand beside him. "But didn't we already—"
"Nope, definitely not. We have so much to do." He smirked, then waved at those still seated at the table. "Bye grandma, grandpa. We have to pack. Mom, Dad, we'll see you in the morning."
With that he took my hand and led me out of the room, walking up the stairs as I heard the dining room break into another round of discussions.
However, that couldn't stop the ridiculous grin from growing on my face as we entered our shared room, bare and stripped of all decoration, the only thing decorating the room a pile of packed suitcases on the floor.
____________________________________
I'm currently listening to "Here Always" by Seungmin while writing this and I'm legit in my feels.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next up: leaving Japan. We're one step closer to the reason why you clicked on this story in the first place 😉.
Happy reading!