"I'm glad you're well, my lord."
"Didn't I tell you? everything would work out."
Jin sighs and Taehyung laughs. Sometimes the kisaeng wished his lord would take things more seriously. Not knowing he did, but he wasn't around to see what was going on. They return to normal fortunately. It was hard not to notice the wreckage they did, plus what is missing and trying to be replaced from crops, paints, etc.
"Fortunately you thought to take this with you" Taehyung takes the jewelry box. "Had I lost it, I possibly would not have been able to contain myself with them" he admits ruefully. He checks the inside. "I remember my mother wearing every one of them. even on her deathbed, she wished she looked the same way she did in life."
"She must have been a very elegant lady."
"Was your mother like that?"
He purses his expression lightly. It almost seems like a barb to demand the same as long ago: more information, more confidence to know about him. Jin shakes his head and Taehyung leans toward him, curious and exerting just a little pressure.
"I was born into a very large family. My parents couldn't take care of me or many of my siblings, so they sold us to a brothel and then bought me to go to a kisaengs house. Maybe because of Eunji." Jin summarizes roughly.
"Oh."
"Never mind. I liked kisaengs even from that time; the pink hair helped it go well for me." Jin shrugs sheepishly. " I just keep thinking about... that I've never been a priority."
"Here you are one."
"Sometimes you overdo it as a comedian, my lord."
"I say the honest truth."
Jin closes one eye, Taehyung adjusts a hairpin. Small, sleek and pretty he pulled from the jewelry box. The kisaeng gives a snort. He still considers it silly and a joke. Taehyung withdraws from the room to allow Jin to rearrange himself there. Having spent so much time outside and with the problem makes a little cleaning necessary. The lord of the house is surprised to see someone hiding.
Seok is the one who looks for that person and causes a childish squeal. He grabs her by her clothes and brings Taehyung who tilts his head. It is the girl that Jin is illustrating. The girl apologizes apologetically and Seok puts her back on the ground.
"Is there any reason why you went out of there without telling anyone? It might be dangerous for someone like you." Judging by her face, she doesn't understand much. Yune babbles a thousand things until finally Taehyung understands her:
"Jin-nicchan come home. Together want to be."
"Ah, you want to be with Jin."
Yune nods effusively and Taehyung points to the room for her to go.
"Ask him: can I stay with you here?" he speaks slowly so Yune can remember and repeat it. "Taehyung gave permission. Go." Taehyung pats her back and she hurries over. Taehyung gives a little smile, she is a very tender child.
~ * * * ~
"Going back to Japan would be suicide for anyone. Staying in this country will be the best thing for her. It will be enough to give her a similar name, teach her to speak and that's all," says Taehyung confidently as they eat. Jin looks at him disapprovingly.
"My lord, don't take something so delicate lightly."
"What would you prefer then, that it stays eternally underground?"
"It's paradise down there."
"It's not the same as having the sun and being with someone who loves you."
"I understand, but-"
"There won't always be hiding. You have to stop thinking it's the only alternative. Sometimes it takes a little risk and a little expectation." comments Taehyung to Jin. He has realized that his options are limited to just that: run, escape, hide. Preferably the latter. Worst case, stand and hold.
It's a somewhat masochistic and cowardly way of thinking.
"As you say, my lord." Jin concludes in a muffled manner and Taehyung shakes his head.
"Jin, this is not an order. It's something you take pleasure in, or are you going to lie to me about it? You love that girl very much" Jin reddens and Eunji gurgles wagging her tail Why deny it? Sometimes his user is so disingenuous even to himself. "I'm letting you have her with you. Let her be like a ward. Maybe similar to Jimin."
"NO!"
Taehyung is startled by the blow to the table. Jin leaves almost in a hurry and embarrassed. Taehyung covers his face, he had forgotten that mentioning Jimin is almost sentencing himself to cut off communication with him for days and days.
~ * * * ~
"How curious to see you up here."
"The sky is beautiful today."
Taehyung sits next to Jin. Both of them on the roof of the second floor of the huge house. Jin hugs her legs, half wrapped by his dragon. They stand there for a while watching the sky. Considering that Jin was a week underground, Taehyung is not surprised that now he feels like admiring the clear sky.
It will soon be winter and he will most likely not even be able to leave the house.
"Does it look just as good in the capital?"
"I don't remember. I stayed in hiding for so long that even that I couldn't do."
He squeezes his legs together.
"If I hadn't hidden, I would have died long ago... like... her."
"Your mother?"
"No, someone more important who's long gone."
"Oh."
"What you said about hiding to or running away? It's the only thing I know how to do to stay alive, I've seen so many die for not doing it, lights going out, rivers running dry.... I'm afraid of withering away for not following my own instinct for that. Even if I regret doing it." admits Jin quietly. Taehyung bites his lips for a moment.
"Nothing here will hurt you From what would you hide?"
"Nothing that good can be real or last" Jin smiles brokenly. "I've already lived it... And I don't want to repeat it."
"Maybe you don't have to." hnudges him lightly and Jin exhales. Sometimes what they talk about comes to nothing. Both too foolish in their places. Where Jin sees the fatalistic by experience and Taehyung looks at him with the expectation of something better.
Contrary to looking for distance, Jin stays there with Taehyung very close and Eunji doesn't move his tail away from Seok who is on top of his. That's enough for Taehyung.
~ * * * ~
"The kisaeng life is complicated isn't it? Too many who want you, none who love you...oblivion as you come of age."
"Hosung-nim told me that-"
"He lied to you. Like to all those he brought before you."
Jin is silent at Empress Eunji's clarification. She gives a soft sigh and looks outside where Agust plays with a pair of barking and jumping dogs.
"People like you and me were born not to be loved. To wander through life on a miserable journey of loneliness, falseness and sadness" She returns her gaze to Jin. The kisaeng so much talked about in the council, among the nobles and lately seen beside the emperor as a tender and perfect pink flower. "Do not fall for beautiful words, a perfect situation or pompous gifts. Our life... Your life, will be misery and if you know that, the less it will hurt you what happens."
Jin senses that she doesn't mean it in a bad way. That she is genuinely trying to help him by this specific warning. She picks up a flower, its petals turning yellow and bright like a sun. Or rather, like the blond hair of the child still playing outside.
"I take refuge in my son. In how much I love him. I know it's my safe place. Where I can smile even though I am not even able to vary my gesture afterwards," Eunji says. He extends the flower to Jin who takes it. "Only when you have radiant happiness, you know that you live in misery. I have faith that, despite everything, you will also get your sun flower. As I have mine."
"You loves his son very much, my lady." comments Jin.
"It's the only thing that keeps me happy What about you?"
Jin touches the petals of the flower and looks fleetingly at the empress dragon. It's huge, yellow and white scales that seem to glow with a light of their own. Somehow, it gives the feeling that that's why her son was born blond because of it: he's a ray of light made person. It's rare to see him expressive, but he smiles a lot with his mother. The only one in the palace who doesn't see him as a weak or incapable link. Jin returns to the flower and wonders if like her he has his ray of light that makes it grow and smile; at some point he will have a ground is that will help it grow. He thought it would be Hosung, he even thought it might be the emperor.
Jin no longer thinks so.
Because if it were, he wouldn't have to lie to them to keep them happy, avoid scolding and getting beaten.
His talks with Empress Eunji became commonplace, including playing with Prince Agust. It is a time he remembers fondly, just as he remembers her. It is perhaps, one of the times when Jin was happier than ever. However, as Empress Eunji warned her: misery, misfortune and tragedy go hand in hand with the role imposed on Jin since he was eight years old.