The following morning dawned cloudy, cold and damp … a typical Seattle morning in December. It was a terrible morning to be outside with someplace to go, but it was a perfect morning for sleeping in, and all the Abernathys managed to sleep far later than they usually did at home. Still, they were up in plenty of time to breakfast and arrive at the Cooper’s house by ten am.
“Good morning Susan, Greg. How are you Jessie?” Michael made it a point to be the one to greet them at the door. “Come on in.”
“Thank you, and good morning to you too,” Greg answered for them as they followed him inside.
“Where are the boys?” Susan asked looking around.
“In their room, the first door on the left down the hall,” Michael told her. “You can go on back. I think Zackary’s trying to decide which of his toys to take back. He might need your help with that.”
“Okay,” Susan agreed. “Come on, Jessie. Let’s see if we can help, shall we?”
“Okay Mama,” Jessie agreed and she followed Susan down the hall to Matt and Zackary’s room.
“Do you want some coffee, Greg?” Michael offered. “I think we have some in the kitchen.”
“Yes, that would be wonderful,” Greg agreed following the other man in the opposite direction. “The coffee they have at the hotel isn’t very good.”
“I can imagine,” Michael said amiably.
“Is Rachelle here?” Greg asked as he looked around and saw no sign of the current Mrs. Cooper.
“She went to the store,” Michael said as he poured them both a cup of coffee and put a kettle on for tea. “We needed some things for dinner tonight and she was hoping to be back before you arrived, so she should be back soon.”
“It might make things easier if you took advantage of the delay to speak with Susan alone first,” Greg suggested as he watched Michael’s preparations, guessing he knew Susan preferred tea to coffee when there was a need to talk.
“It might, but I promised I wouldn’t,” Michael told him. “I’ve kept far too many things from Rachelle as it is. She wants to be here when we do this.”
“I take it you talked to her last night after we left?” Greg asked.
“I tried to. I did find my birth certificate, right where Susan said it would be, and showed it to her. I was hoping it might help her to see that Susan was being truthful. To be honest I have no idea where Rachelle got the idea we were the same age. I know I’ve never told her that,” Michael shared.
“Do you think it helped?” Greg wondered.
“No. I’m afraid it might have made things worse. Rachelle resents everything having to do with Susan. She always has, so I wasn’t surprised to see she’s carried it over to Susan herself,” Michael told him.
“Do you believe she is jealous?” Greg wondered. That had been his thought the previous night.
“I don’t know, Greg. I suppose it would make sense if she was. I know I was when I first saw you and Susan together, even though for the most part the quality of the relationship between Rachelle and myself is better than things ever were between Susan and me,” Michael shared.
“It is probable that you are soulmates, Michael. That can make a tremendous difference in a relationship. I know it did for me,” Greg shared.
“Is that what you and Susan are?” Michael asked.
“Yes,” Greg said.
Michael nodded. “I wondered. Sue seems so much more centered since she’d married you. She’s a much better version of herself, I think.”
“Curious. Susan has said much the same about you … she believes you and she actually get along better now than you did when you were married,” Greg said.
“She’s right, we do. Rachelle has absolutely no reason to be jealous of Susan,” Michael said.
“Except that in some ways she knows you better than I do,” Rachelle said as she came in from the garage, her arms loaded with groceries.
“Is there more? Shall I come help?” Michael asked.
“Yes please,” Rachelle answered, and Michael followed her back into the garage for another load. They reappeared a few minutes later with their both their arms full, and Greg hurried to hold open the door for them as they came in.
“Where is Susan?” Rachelle asked as she looked around, realizing she, Michael, and Greg were alone in the kitchen.
“She’s with our boys in their room,” Michael told her.
“And you and Greg are talking without her?” Rachelle wondered.
“Is there a reason we shouldn’t?” Greg asked.
“Don’t you think she’s going to want to know what you’re saying?” Rachelle asked him.
“Not necessarily,” Greg told her. “Michael and I have simply been sharing our observations of the changes in Susan during the past year.”
“Not since the crash?” Rachelle asked as she began to unpack their groceries.
“Sue wasn’t all that different to me when I saw her a year ago,” Michael told her. “She is now.”
“When you saw her a year ago?” Rachelle questioned.
“Rachelle, I did tell you about that, not all that long ago. A year ago last August, when Matt and I went to see Susan on Moreno Island. Greg paid for our passage so we could afford to do that,” Michael told her. “She looked different because she was thinner and she’d cut her hair, but otherwise she seemed much the same as she was when we were married … what am I saying? We were still married when I visited her there.”
“I thought you told me she was there with Greg,” Rachelle said. “And you two are married, aren’t you?”
“Yes, we are now, however Susan and I didn’t marry until just this past New Years day,” Greg told her.
“Doesn’t that make next Tuesday your anniversary?” Michael asked.
“Yes, our first anniversary,” Greg agreed.
“Congratulations,” Michael said with a genuine expression.
“Thank you. You too. Didn’t you also celebrate your first anniversary recently?” Greg asked.
“Yes, but it wasn’t our first one,” Rachelle answered. “We’ve been married for three years, even though I understand that due to a technicality, legally we’ve only been married for one. Isn’t the same true for you? For you and Susan, it’s been nearly five, hasn’t it?”
“No. I didn’t know Susan five years ago,” Greg told her.
Rachelle cocked her head, looking at her husband. “Didn’t you tell me Greg and Susan have been together since the time of the crash?”
“They have been,” Michael agreed. “But Sue told me they never even dated before our divorce went through last December.”
“That is true,” Greg confirmed. “Susan always considered herself to be married to Michael until that day in December of last year.”
“What day?” Rachelle asked.
“December fifteenth,” her husband told her.
“The day before our anniversary celebration?” Rachelle asked. “Is that the reason you wanted to wait to reenact the ceremony instead of doing it on our actual anniversary?”
“Legally, that was our wedding ceremony Rachelle … not a reenactment,” Michael told her as the kettle on the stove began to whistle. “I keep telling you that.”
But Rachelle shook her head. “No, it wasn’t Michael. We got married in the church, blessed by God. The cardinal performed the sacrament of marriage for us, three years ago, on our original anniversary date. That is when we got married, regardless of what the legal paperwork may say.”
“Morally, that may be true,” Greg agreed as he heard footsteps coming towards them from down the hall and saw Susan coming to join them. “Regardless of the fact that Michael was still married to Susan.”
“That can’t be true,” Rachelle argued.
“I wouldn’t think so either,” Michael told him.
“Except that morally speaking it is,” Susan said. “I know our American culture doesn’t recognize polygamy, and here it certainly isn’t legal, but it does happen. And Biblically, there is a precedent for it, from what I’ve read.”
“So are you saying, you think I was married to both of you for those two years?” Michael asked her in surprise.
“Probably … in God’s eyes at least,” Susan said.
“I quite agree,” Greg told them.
“So if that is true, how long were you married?” Rachelle asked them looking at Susan.
“A little more than twenty years,” Susan said.
“That is quite a long time,” Greg told her. “Longer than either of my previous marriages.”
“Why? How long were you married to Ruth?”
“Twenty one years, but we were separated for the last two,” Greg told her.
“Michael and I were separated for the last three,” Susan reminded him.
“Yes, but not by choice,” Greg told her. “I recognize that. Your heart was here for most of that time.”
“Even though you believe Susan to be your soulmate?” Michael asked him in surprise.
“Yes, I believe so. Being soulmates doesn’t preclude one from loving another, or from missing them when they are gone. Susan has continued to love you all these many years, though I believe the nature of that feeling may have changed?” He said the last looking at his wife.
Susan nodded slowly as she considered his question. “Yes, I suppose that is true.”
“When did that happen?” Michael asked.
“After your visit to Moreno Island,” Susan said. “You reminded me how much we used to fight, how seldom we saw eye to eye on any number of things … and I saw how much you care about Rachelle. You were willing to do anything in your power to protect her.”
“To protect me?” Rachelle asked the other woman.
“Yes. None of this has been easy for any of us,” Susan told her. “It’s been quite a painful experience for Michael and I, and even Greg too go through, I think.”
“It has,” Greg agreed. “However it has been much more difficult for the two of you.”
“Why would it be more difficult for them than it is for us?” Rachelle questioned.
“Because Susan and Michael were committed to one another as a husband and wife. They weren’t particularly suited to one another as couple, but they were committed to their marriage and were doing their best to make it work. I know Susan was very conflicted about that when she met me. It disturbed her greatly, year after year, but particularly so after she learned Michael had remarried,” Greg explained. “I’m certain that for Michael the emotions involved must have felt incongruous as well.”
“Why do you say that?” Michael asked.
“Because, you were freed by Susan’s presumed death from a relationship that didn’t really work for you. You loved her, and I’m sure you felt her loss, but it also allowed you to make yourself available to love without reservation your soulmate when you met her,” Greg related. “My guess is you felt guilty about being able to do that so quickly after she was declared dead.”
“You’re right, I did. But how could you know that?” Michael asked in astonishment.
“Because it happened similarly for me. What you and Rachelle may or may not be aware of is, that I was traveling with my wife on the flight that crashed. She died as a result of it. I was a widower when I met Susan, who I recognized as my soulmate fairly quickly, but it didn’t prevent me from feeling faintly guilty about loving her so quickly following the death of my wife,” Greg explained.
“You were in the same situation,” Michael realized as he got up to make Susan’s tea.
“Yes, I was. And watching Susan struggle with her feelings for you, knowing you were very much alive, and even going on with your life after a point, has been a very painful thing to witness,” Greg shared. “Especially as I began to recognize that she also loved me. Conflict of that sort is never easy for anyone involved, as I know you learned during your visit to Moreno Island.”
“Yes,” Michael said with a heavy heart as he handed Susan her cup of tea.
“And that, Rachelle, is what he was trying to protect you from,” Greg told her. “Michael’s heart was in the right place, though his actions may not have reflected that.”
“And that is the reason you didn’t tell me where you were going?” Rachelle asked.
“Yes. I wasn’t really certain before I got there that it was true. That Susan really was alive. It was easier not to believe it, so I told myself I didn’t. I even went along with you insisting in front of the boys that she wasn’t, even after I knew better,” Michael told her.
“What about after you returned?” Rachelle wanted to know.
“I was confused. Every conversation I had with either her or Greg or even their friend Richard while we were there, made it sound like there was still a very real chance Sue never would get home alive. And if she didn’t the fact she’d been alive all that time would never be reversed, our marriage wouldn’t have been declared legally invalid and none of this would have happened,” Michael told her. “They made it sound so uncertain, I decided it was better not to tell you. I couldn’t see what purpose it could have served for you to suffer so unnecessarily.”
“I can see that,” Rachelle told him. “It does sound very confusing, but you must have known at some point that she would.”
“I knew the possibility would be greater once she got to Australia,” Michael told her.
“But you didn’t tell her when I got to Australia,” Susan reminded him.
“Susan, let Michael handle this,” Greg advised.
Susan fell silent as she pursed her lips. Clearly this was the point in the story she had problems with, but Greg did his best to reassure her for the time being.
“Thank you,” Michael said.
“Is she right?” Rachelle asked. “Did you know when they got to Australia?”
“Yes. Matt told me after she called to tell us about it,” Michael told his wife.
“When was this?”
“The end of October of last year,” Michael admitted.
Rachelle arched her brow.
“About the time you came up with the idea of redoing our wedding vows and inviting everyone who’d been at our wedding to come see it,” she realized.
“Yes,” Michael said. “I thought it would be easier to deal with if we already had a clear plan in place on our end for how to rectify the situation once Susan got her declaration of death reversed. That was the reason for the attorney charges you saw against our account. I had to consult them on the first date available when we could be assured it would be considered legal before I set the date.”
“When was your ruling reversed, Susan?” Rachelle asked.
“In November of last year,” Susan said.
“But we our ceremony was in December. Why didn’t you plan it closer to our anniversary if that’s what you were waiting for?” she asked her husband.
“Because, there was also the matter of our divorce,” Michael told her. “That wasn’t final until a bit later.”
“When later?” Rachelle pressed.
“December 15th,” Susan told her. “Michael filed the papers six months previously … even before he knew for certain I was alive … without ever talking to me about it. Once the ruling was reversed, they imposed only a thirty day waiting period before the divorce was considered final.”
“Six months before?” Rachelle said in surprise.
“Yes. So as you can see, you have no cause to be jealous,” Susan told her. “Michael went out of his way to try to protect you and your marriage, regardless of what might be happening with me.”
“I filed the same day I first talked to you on the phone,” Michael told her.
“The day you were injured,” Greg recalled.
Susan stared at her ex-husband. “Is that why you didn’t ask me … or even tell me?”
“I was trying to, when we got cut off,” Michael said.
“You didn’t even tell me you’d already filed when we talked about the possibility of getting a divorce while you were visiting in September,” Susan pointed out.
“Yes well … like we were saying earlier, we weren’t even sure you’d ever leave there Susie, much less get your ruling reversed. I never intended you to find out the way you did,” he told her.
“How did you find out?” Rachelle asked curiously.
“I was served the divorce papers, twenty four days before it was considered final,” Susan said. “I had no input into the terms, no chance to discuss any of it with Michael at the time,” Susan recalled.
“Why did you do that, Michael?” Rachelle asked him.
“Because … despite the fact I knew that’s what Sue was thinking too, to actually sit down and plan it, to talk it through would hurt … her and me. Why go through that, if we didn’t have to?” Michael asked rhetorically.
“You were trying to protect her,” Greg guessed.
“Yes,” Michael said. “I never imagined they’d serve Sue the papers before notifying me the court ruling had been reversed. I really and truly thought I’d have time to talk to her about it first.”
Susan nodded. She still didn’t like the way Michael had gone about it, but at least now she knew his reason.
“I’m sorry, Sue. I didn’t handle it very well,” Michael admitted.
“No, you didn’t,” Susan agreed. “You know, Michael, I wouldn’t mind the way you handled it so much if it hadn’t also hurt Matthew and Zackary. I’m an adult. I can get over it eventually, but they are kids. Little boys, who lost their mother, then lost your support when they needed it most, when it looked like to them there was a possibility I might come back. Because you never acknowledged I was still somewhere in the picture, even though you were trying to protect Rachelle by doing so, you put both of them in a very difficult position. They knew I was there, but because they were contradicting what she was told by you, Rachelle didn’t believe either of them.”
“Zackary should have known not to talk about it, Susan,” Michael told her.
“Zackary is a little boy!” Susan exclaimed.
Michael held up his hand. “Sue, wait. Let’s see the kids off to go to the laser tag place, then we’ll talk about this. Okay?”
Susan nodded. “Yes, okay,” she said reigning in her mounting anger.
She set aside her tea as she followed Michael and Rachelle back down the hall to the children’s rooms.
“Are you ready?” Michael asked Josh and Matthew when they came to their rooms to find all of them in the same room.
“Yes,” Matthew said. “We just weren’t sure when you wanted us to leave.”
“The Lazer Tag Zone is open now,” Rachelle told Josh. “Here are my car keys and some money. You can go to In-N-Out afterwards if you want for lunch.”
“What time do you want us home?” Matthew asked.
Michael glanced at the clock. “It’s ten thirty now. How about by three o'clock? That should give you time for two sessions with lunch in between. Do you need money, Zack?” Michael asked.
“No. Mom gave me money for me and Jessie,” Zackary told him.
“Thank you, Susan,” Michael said.
“Are you sure you’re okay looking out for Jessie, Matthew?” Susan asked. “She’s barely old enough for this, you know?”
“I’ll watch her, Mom,” Matthew assured her. “Don’t worry.”
The adults saw the kids settled into Rachelle’s car with Josh in the driver seat, watching as they pulled out of the drive and drove away.
“How long has Josh been driving?” Susan asked in concern.
“About a year. He got his permit when he turned fifteen and a half,” Rachelle said. “He’ll be seventeen in March.”
Susan nodded still looking concerned.
“The laser tag place is close,” Michael assured her correctly reading her face. “They’ll be okay, and both Matt and Josh have cell phones now. They can call if anything were to happen.”
“Okay,” Susan said relaxing slightly. She turned to look at her ex, still thinking about Jessie and hoping she would be okay with the boys.
“Zackary’s been good at watching out for Jessie, Susan,” Greg said reading her too. “He’ll take care of her and you know Matthew will help where he can. They’ll be okay.”
“How old is Jessie?” Rachelle asked.
“She’s six, but she just started kindergarten this year,” Susan answered. “She’s had some problems since the crash, so we held her back a year.”
“Then I can see why you’d be worried,” Rachelle said. “Six is a bit young for laser tag. I think they usually recommend it for children no younger than eight.”
Susan furrowed her brow looking back at her ex again.
“Come on Sue, let’s go talk. We might as well get this over with … just in case they do have to come back,” Michael said.
c
Susan and Greg followed Michael and Rachelle back into the house, where Michael led them to the family’s tiny dining room. Susan paused as she came into the room, looking at the table. She glanced at Michael and he nodded.
“I was able to keep some things, Susie. They didn’t make me sell everything,” Michael told her.
Susan nodded.
“Was the table yours?” Greg asked.
“It was ours … our kitchen table when I left,” Susan said. “I don’t know why its such a shock to see these things again here, but it is.”
“The same thing happened to me at Alan’s and Julie’s also if you recall. Most of our furnishings remained with the house when it was sold, but each of them did take a few pieces,” Greg reminded her.
Susan inclined her head. “Yes, I know. It’s just that most of our things seemed to have vanished.”
“You’re not thinking you want our dining room table, are you?” Rachelle asked warily, thinking of Michael’s statement about Susan’s personal possessions the day before.
“No. We don’t have a use for it, and you clearly need it,” Susan told her.
“Do you want to talk about that first?” Michael asked.
“I would like to know which things you consider to be Susan’s personal property,” Rachelle told him. “Especially considering the terms of your divorce specified there was no community property to divide.”
“Well there wasn’t,” Michael said. “The house was foreclosed on, they repossessed your car Susan, and our mini-van. I only had my old truck by the time I met Rachelle. I did sell some of our better furniture to pay for a moving van to move the rest, so most of what we have is considered personal property at this point, since they didn’t make me sell that.”
“So what exactly do you have?” Susan asked curiously.
“Your bicycle, if you want it, and your mom’s old piano,” Michael said.
“You would give her our piano, Michael?” Rachelle protested. “Brianna’s taking lessons!”
“It was never ours, Rachelle. I’ve told you that before. Until Susan’s return, it belonged to Matthew and Zackary. Susan left it to them in her will,” Michael said.
“And you’re their father, with full custody of both boys, which makes you responsible for their possessions until they become adults. So what’s the difference?” Rachelle said.
“The difference is because the piano doesn’t belong to me, I wasn’t forced to sell it. That is the only way we got to keep it,” Michael told his wife. “So if Susan wants it, she should probably discuss it with Zackary and Matt, but I’m not going to stand in her way.”
“And what about our family, Michael?” his wife asked.
“If Sue decides she wants it, we can easily buy another one from the settlement money she’s given us,” Michael pointed out. “She didn’t have to do that, you know. The courts didn’t insist. I’m still surprised you did, to be honest,” Michael added looking back at Susan.
Susan shrugged. “It was restitution for pain and suffering. I know we all had some form of that, not only me. Sharing it was the right thing to do. Is there anything else property-wise we need to talk through?”
“A few odds and ends. They’re all in a box in the garage … oh and your mother has your rocking chair,” Michael told her.
“I know. I saw it at her house. Dad offered to bring it to me the next time he visits,” Susan said. “Zackary thinks we need it.”
“He’s really too big for it, don’t you think?” Michael asked remembering how Susan used the chair to rock their children to sleep when they were babies, and then later to sooth them when they were upset or frightened when they were little. Zackary spent hours in that chair by himself the first month after Susan disappeared, as if sitting there some how would bring her home or help ensure the two of them would be reunited some day. In thinking of that now, Michael wondered if perhaps it had actually worked, or if it was just the extreme need and faith of a little boy that brought his mother home.
“He is, but Jessie isn’t, and Zackary keeps telling her how good it is,” Susan explained.
“He must have some very strong memories associated with that chair,” Greg remarked.
“He does,” Michael agreed. “Both our children do.”
“I think reclaiming the chair is enough for now,” Susan told him. “We don’t really have the room to take my bicycle home with us this trip, or Zackary’s either I don’t think.”
“Perhaps we should consider purchasing a bike rack while we are here,” Greg suggested. “We could take both bicycles home with us if we did.”
“Maybe,” Susan agreed tentatively. “That sort of depends on what else we are taking. I did want to focus on Zackary’s things this trip, and it’s not like we have all that much room in our car.”
“Those are the only big things left,” Michael told her, “and you’d probably need to hire a mover to move the piano for you.”
“Does Matthew ever play it?” Susan asked.
“Once in a while. He and his friends are putting together a garage band and he wants to play keyboard, so he’s been using it to practice while he’s saving up to buy one,” Michael said.
“Then let Matthew keep it,” Susan told him. “It is his … I don’t want to automatically take it back.”
“So we’re good then? With the division of stuff?” Michael asked.
“Except for pictures and documents and things like that, I’d say so,” Susan said.
“Did you want to do that now?” Michael asked.
“No, Michael. I think that will come, eventually. But right now I want to talk to you about the kids,” Susan told him firmly. “I think that’s much more important.”
“Are you sure?” Michael checked. He’d expected the topic of property division to be a much bigger deal with Susan than it had turned out to be.
“Yes. Us, I’m okay with. I things have turned out the way they’re supposed to in regards to you and I. The kids though are another matter entirely. There needs to be a change in how Zachary, and Matt too for that matter, are regarded around here. Neither of them are the liars your wife makes them out to be, and they shouldn’t be treated as if they are.”
“You’re wrong,” Rachelle interrupted.
“Excuse me, but I’m talking to Michael about this,” Susan told her. “We are their parents and it is up to us to talk issues through and to decide these things when it comes to our sons. I really do wish you could learn to accept that.”
“Except that Michael has custody,” Rachelle told her.
“It’s joint custody, Rachelle,” Michael told her. “Susan has equal rights to both boys.”
“Even though she abandoned them?” Rachelle questioned. “What court would award custody, even joint custody, to a parent who abandoned her children?”
“She didn’t abandon them,” Michael answered. “She was declared dead, lost at sea, and was separated from us due to circumstances beyond her control.”
“Why are you suddenly so forgiving?” Rachelle asked her husband. “You’ve been adamant about this ever since you told me she was alive last year.”
“I know, but I’ve had time to think about it, and there really wasn’t anything she could have done about it to be honest. And she did sort of make up for it with the money. Besides, if I were to fight her on the custody battle and win, Zackary would have to come back here to live. Is that what you really want?” Michael asked.
Rachelle frowned. “No, I suppose not. I don’t mind if he visits, but I don’t want him living here.”
“Why?” Susan asked in surprise.
“Because, I don’t care what you say, Susan. From what I’ve seen, Zackary is a little liar and a troublemaker. He has nothing but disrespect for me and his father, and I really don’t want him around my children if he’s going to behave like that. He’s a bad influence on them.”
“Has he been a problem since he’s been here this week?” Susan asked.
“No. We’ve had a great time,” Michael told her.
“Obviously he’s been on his best behavior because it’s Christmas, Michael,” Rachelle pointed out. “He knows he has to be good to get presents.”
But Michael shook his head. “It’s more than that Rachelle. There’s been a fundamental shift in Zackary since he’s been back. It’s almost like we got the old Zack back, Sue,” Michael struggled to explain. “He was miserable while you were away.”
“Both he and Matthew missed her, of course. Any child is going to miss their mother if she suddenly disappears,” Rachelle said. “I did what I could to be understanding of that, and Matthew did adapt eventually. Not that it was easy for him. He was depressed when I first met him but he did turn it around and became a more or less normal boy. Zackary however has been moody and volatile and belligerent towards Michael from the first day I met him. And that’s never changed. He’s resented me from the beginning, and he did what he could to get between Michael and me.”
“I keep telling you he behaved that way because of Susan, not you or me,” Michael told his wife.
“He didn’t want you to get remarried,” Greg commented. “I was met with similar resistance from my children when I told them I planned to remarry after divorcing their mother.”
“I remember you telling me about that after we first met, while we were all on Moreno Island,” Michael said.
“We did talk about it at length,” Greg recalled. “Children have a natural tendency to want to defend their absent parent. I understand from my ex-wife they did the same in regards to me when she remarried too. I imagine when that parent is deceased rather than simply absent due to moving out of the family home, that reaction could be magnified to some extent.”
“It was for both boys, initially,” Michael confirmed. “But like Rachelle said, Matthew did eventually become more open to the idea. He still did miss Susan, but he could see the necessity of moving on for me and for us as a family. He more or less supported the idea by the time of our wedding. Zackary never did.”
“Zackary was younger,” Greg observed. “Young children are rarely so perceptive of their parent’s needs.”
“That may be, but in Zackary’s case there was more to it, I think,” Michael said. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed … I know you haven’t been around him for all that long, but Zackary and Susan … I don’t know. They have this weird sort of bond. He has this affinity towards her that’s always been stronger than what he’s had with me. He always wanted Susan when he was upset or hurt or didn’t feel well. He hid behind her as a toddler, but never me. And when we went somewhere as a family, I was okay unless Susan was there, then he wanted nothing to do with me.”
“They have a well-developed mother and son bond,” Greg suggested.
“Yes and no. I’m not sure if that’s what it is or not. But if so, it’s the strongest bond of that type I have ever seen,” Michael remarked.
“How do you mean?” Greg asked.
“When Susan didn’t come home, Zackary became almost catatonic. He went from being this happy, well adjusted, friendly, easy-going, helpful little boy, to being withdrawn and unresponsive most of the time. It was like the best part of him got ripped away. His behavior in those days reminded me a lot of those autistic kids you see sometimes on TV, and I even began to wonder if he’d become seriously unbalanced somehow. Then when I brought Rachelle home to meet the boys, he seemed to snap out of it some, but even at that time it was clear to me his internal world resolved around Susan. He did everything in his power to repel Rachelle, try to keep me from marrying her,” Michael explained.
“He wasn’t like that the whole time,” Rachelle recalled as the two recounted Zackary’s story. “I thought he was actually starting to like me a little until the summer before we married.”
“Around the time Mom said she received my first postcard,” Susan commented.
“Is that what did it?” Michael wondered. “I know for the first six months you were missing, Zackary keep trying to convince me you were going to come back. That you were just late getting home. He begged me not to sell your things, he cried for days when your mother took the rocking chair away.”
“Matthew told me you were trying to sell it,” Susan said.
“We were supposed to, Sue. It’s like I told you. That’s what they make you do in bankruptcy cases,” Michael told her. “But I know for Zack loosing those things was like losing you all over again and it got worse when we had to move away. All the places you’d made for us were gone; everything that reminded us of you had been sold or put away. That’s when your mother came for a visit. By the time she left, Zackary was back to insisting you were alive again, claiming he’d know it all along. That’s when our battle with him began.”
“Because he was committed to the idea Susan was alive,” Greg commented. “If Mrs. Abernathy told him about the postcard, given the connection to her you describe, news like that would have supported his original idea.”
“He thought so,” Michael said. “I saw the postcard, but to me it didn’t sound enough like Sue to be real. It felt like somebody’s idea of a cruel joke to me, possibly one designed to hurt me. I know a lot of Sue’s old friends didn’t approve when I started dating so soon after she was declared dead, and several of them sent me emails telling me so once Rachelle and I got engaged. One even claimed to have been forwarded from Sue. But I did a trace on that email and it originated from someplace overseas, so I knew it was a scam. I didn’t know what they hoped to get out of it, but I did know it was hurting Zackary. So I changed my email address, cut myself off from our previous contact list, left no forwarding address after we moved. I was trying to protect him, because with every hint we received that Susan might still be alive, I could see Zackary spiraling away from us.”
“How do you mean?” Susan asked.
“His character changed. Instead of happy, he was angry all the time. Instead of friendly and outgoing, he stopped talking to people, refused to play with his friends, alienated pretty much everyone around him. Even before we moved, the teachers at the elementary school who’d been understanding at first, were talking to me about the change because he flat out refused to go to the therapy sessions they’d set up to help him adjust to loosing you. And if we forced him to go, he either refused to talk or participate, or proclaimed loudly that you were alive and that we should all be out looking for you,” Michael explained.
“I tried talking to him about it too,” Rachelle shared. “Once Michael and I became serious and started talking about the possibility of getting married, I thought maybe he’d come around if he had a sympathetic ear at home to discuss it with. I did try and for a while it did seem as though his behavior was starting to turn around, but in retrospect I can see that’s because in my attempt to come across as understanding, I may have made him think I actually believed him. I did go along with him on it for a while, right up to the point when Michael and I married. After that, I thought it was probably more important for him to learn to accept our new family than to continue clinging to the past, so I told him in no uncertain terms that you were gone and that I was his new mother.”
“You probably shouldn’t have said that,” Michael reflected. “Because he went balistic from that point on. He went from being angry and withdrawn, to outgoing and aggressive. He started collecting what he called his evidence which he thought would prove you were alive.”
“That’s right. He had found maps and flight plans from the airlines his geography teacher had helped him to get, showing the route your plane took. He had meteorology reports about the storm they reported took down your flight, trying to correlate that with the maps he had. I discovered it all in a shoe box under his bed one day and threw it all way,” Rachelle declared.
Susan did her best to hold her tongue. It would have been so easy to berate Rachelle for doing such a thing, especially as it was the most constructive outlet Zackary could possibly have had at the time to deal with the situation. In fact, it sounded like he’d learned a lot about science and geography in the process.
“You did what?” Michael asked.
“I threw it away, Michael. Building fantasies about his dead mother like that was not healthy. I talked to my mother about it, and that’s what she advised me to do.”
“Without talking to me about it first?” Michael said.
“There was no point in upsetting you with all his childish nonsense,” Rachelle insisted. “I took care of it, just like those phony letters Susan’s mother kept forwarding.”
“What letters, Rachelle?” Michael asked warily.
“You saw one of them … not long after we were married. They always had those stamps with the exotic birds on them with a postmark from a nation I’ve never heard of. It upset you for days after you got the first one, so I got rid of the rest,” Rachelle said.
“There were more?” Michael asked.
“Of course there were more,” Rachelle told him. “Most of them had been forwarded from your old address. I guessed it was more from Susan’s supposed friends trying to get to you, so I burned them.”
Michael stared at his wife in dismay. “You could have talked to me about it, so we could decide together what to do.”
“I didn’t want you to know about them, Michael. That would have defeated the point of getting them out of the mail before you got home if I did that. I was trying to protect you … just like you protect me,” she said. “I didn’t want you to start thinking the way Zackary did, that Susan might be alive.”
“But she was, Shelly. Maybe there was something we could have done to help her if we’d known about it back then,” Michael said.
Rachelle frowned. “If I’d done that, I would have had two of you on my hands. It was hard enough trying to control Zackary the way he and Matt used to sneak onto your computer looking for Susan’s emails, or stealing the mail trying to find her letters. They got to one or two before I did. That’s when the serious trouble began for Zackary at his school.”
“I’d say you brought on that problem yourself,” Susan told her. “Hiding the evidence from Michael and my sons didn’t change the facts. And it sounds to me like they not only knew I was alive, but they also knew what you were doing to try and hide that fact from both them and their father before Michael did.”
Michael stared at his wife, then looked at Susan. “Susie, I swear, I had no idea she was doing that.”
“None?” Susan asked.
“No. Matt came to me once, trying to tell me I think. He said he caught Rachelle trying to burn a photo of you on the top of our stove. He stole it from her and showed it to me, but there was nothing about the photo that looked familiar to me, so I thought he must be wrong,” Michael told her.
“I don’t suppose you still have the photograph?” Greg asked curiously.
“I do actually. Wait here. I’ll go get it.”
Michael disappeared down the hall, returning a short time later with about half a photo in his hand. The edges were charred clearly showing that the rest had been burnt. He handed Greg the photo and the older man examined it carefully.
“This must have been one of you and Jessie at the mission,” Greg commented. “I see Jessie in it, and most of you, but the image of your face isn’t clear.”
He handed the photo to Susan who looked at it too. They were standing on the playground at the Wilson’s school. Jessie was dressed in rags, and the woman beside her was too. Also, they were both very thin, as they all had been back then, and nothing about the worn out clothes Susan had been wearing would have been familiar to Michael.
“Is this the only one you have?” Susan asked.
“There were more,” Rachelle said. “After I got rid of that first shoe box of stuff Zackary had been collecting about you, I started looking for more. I found another under Matt’s bed, filled with old letters from you and photographs, and things Zackary had reclaimed from the box I’d thought I’d thrown away. Apparently he found it in the trash and pulled it out again. There were more photos like this one with those. I confronted Matt about them and he told me they were Zack’s. I burnt those too.”
“You had no right to do that,” Michael told her. “But especially if some of those things were from before Susan disappeared. My boys had and continue to have a right to kept mementos and personal items given to them by their mother.”
“It wasn’t healthy for us Michael, to have those things around,” Rachelle reminded him.
“Your children still have things Walter has given them,” Michael pointed out.
“Yes, but they keep them at his house. We’ve both said the things from our former spouses have no place in our home. That’s the reason I made you put all Susan’s old things you refused to get rid of in a box in the garage. I suspect that’s where Matthew and Zackary got most of it,” she told him.
“The situation was completely different!” Michael argued. “Walter lives across town. Brianna and Josh stay with him half of the time. They have a place to keep things like that. My children had only me, Rachelle. It’s one thing for me to keep mementos from my former wife, but to destroy the children’s mementos from their mother is completely unacceptable. And given how attached, how devoted to Susan, Zackary always was, how devoted he still is, no wonder he’s had problems!”
For the first time since the conversation turned to the topic of their children, Susan sat back and began to relax. The more Rachelle continued to talk, the more the veil had been lifted from Michael’s eyes, and he began to recognize the injustice that had been done to both his children, but to Zackary in particular. The unfeeling way both his boys had been treated in regards to Susan whenever he wasn’t around startled him, but what concerned him more was the lengths his wife had gone to in order to hide it from him.
Rachelle’s expression hardly changed as she looked at him. “I’ve always said you were too soft on him. I was only trying to provide the firm guidance and discipline he desperately needed and wasn’t getting from you,” she said.
Michael furrowed his brow. “We need to talk about this. Perhaps this afternoon? Before the children get home?”
“I thought you wanted to use this time to talk to Susan, try to set her straight on a few things,” Rachelle said in a tone suggesting she was reminding him of something.
“From what I can see, Susan is straight on most things,” Michael told his wife. “You and I however, have some things to work out.”
“I warned you not to let your ex-wife interfere,” Rachelle told him.
“I didn’t intend to, but I’m beginning to think it’s a good thing she has,” Michael said firmly. “Susan, Greg, I’m sorry. But I wonder if you would mind coming back later? I think the kids will be back around three. That’s only about two hours from now, and I really would like to speak to my wife privately before they get here.”
“Of course,” Greg said. “Perhaps Susan, you and I could go get some lunch? Then perhaps shop for a place to buy a bike rack?”
“We could go have lunch,” Susan agreed. “But I think it could take us several hours to find a bike rack.”
“It might not. There’s a good sporting goods store not far from here. You could go there,” Michael suggested and he gave them the address.
“This is still going to take us more than a couple of hours to do,” Susan said.
“We’ll watch the kids if they get back before you do,” Michael told her.
Susan frowned slightly, wondering about how Jessie would handle it if she and Greg were gone when they returned.
“Come on, Susan. I’m sure the children will be fine … including Jessie,” Greg insisted, correctly reading her concern. “Matt and Zack will watch out for her.”
“Oh, okay. We’ll be back,” Susan told her ex-husband. “But you and I aren’t done, Michael. We still need to talk about visit schedules and holidays.”
“I know, but I think I need to take care of this first,” Michael insisted. “And we can talk about that with the kids here.”
Susan still looked reluctant to go, but Greg insisted.
“Come on, Susan. You know how important it is for couples to talk, and that is easier for some to do than others. I think if we can help the harmony in this household by giving them that opportunity, we should.”
“Of course,” Susan relented as she picked up her purse. “We’ll see you later Michael.”
“Thanks, Sue. Bye.”