Ariya
"I hope you know that you ruined us!" Khyson yelled, I felt as if a painful fire ignited in my lungs and my ear drums burned.
It was all me.
"I didn't mean it-"
"You didn't mean keeping my son from me? Fucking hell! What the fuck Ariya.. your a terrible person.. I hope you know that, fuck!"
"Khyson, please where are you going?" I followed him to the doorway of Rylans room.
"I'm getting my son."
I watched him appear with a sleeping Rylan on his shoulder, the feeling of them getting farther with every step dawning over me.
It was like my whole body was still. Frozen in place.
"You can't just take him-"
"Daddy's here, he's not going anywhere. I'm here, I'm here now." He smiled while running a hand over Rylan's head.
"Khyson that's not fair."
"No, you keeping my son from me was fucking unfair!" He screamed.
"Please." I begged, and begged, and begged and begged.
"Don't bother showing up to work on Monday, you have until the end of the week to get your things from your office."
"You're firing me?" My voice wasn't angered or pained, or stressed. It was soft and questioning.
I took his observed silence as a yes.
"I need that pay check, Khyson, I don't have enough for rent, the fridge is almost empty-"
"Figure it out yourself." He mumbled while cooing Rylan in his arms.
"I need him, please. Don't take him, don't take my baby! Please, please, please I'll do anything, don't do this." I begged, dropping to my knees. Rylan was my everything, he gives me the will to wake up and look forward to being something. He gives me hope for the next day. His smile makes my year. He's my reason. And without him-
"You deserve nothing." He seethed.
It seemed as if my tears faded his very existence. How does one ponder the fact of losing their best friend, the love of their life, the father to their child. I began to wonder if it was me. If I had only told him.
"Khyson.. I'm pregnant."
We'd maybe be together, Rylan would've known his dad, I would've been happily married, stable and happy. Not wishing I would melt into the floor boards of my apartment and never be seen again.
What kind of mother does that make me?'
A shit one, I can tell you that.
The weak wood marked my knees, but I didn't care. My body was limp, it felt as if my soul had been limp also.
It's my fault this was happening.
All my fucking fault.
"Ariya?"
"Ariya?"
"Wake up."
I shot up in my bed, seeing William with a hand on my cheek. I left him engulf me as I stared forward stiffly. It was like my body didn't know how to react to the.. dream.
"Are you okay?" He breathed against my neck.
Do I look okay?
"Yeah." I lied.
"You were thrashing around all night, I didn't know what to do."
"I'm sorry." I shook my head in confusion as he rubbed my back. His hand did no good to my decimating feelings. I began to wonder if maybe Khyson would have a better affect on me? But I shouldn't because the dream about him belittling me was what caused this mini mental breakdown in the first place.
"Don't be sorry, dreams are spontaneous.. so are feelings." He breathed, that was kind of true. You don't just have a mental breakdown, but at the same time you do.
"I'm such a mess, let me go clean up." I wiped my cheeks with my palms and sat up, walking over to the bathroom before locking myself in.
I think at this point I was a mess, a hot mess, with hot feelings.
I splashed some cold water on my face and realized just how late it really was. The puffiness in my eyes were still evident and you could tell. I hated letting William see this side of me, the broken more so vulnerable side. To be completely honest I didn't like anyone seeing it, Khyson had a pass although I don't know if it's still active.
I've thinking about starting a journal, maybe getting my feelings out there on paper would feel better. Or maybe even a story, Khyson was right maybe I should start writing again. Writing could be a good way to get my feelings out.
Not right now though, when I'm alone and William is gone and Rylan is asleep then maybe so.
I quickly blew out a sharp breath before walking out and getting under the covers with William.
-
"It was a dream, people dream, I remember having the same dream of two purple elephants destroying my house when I was sixteen for like two and a half months." Amara spoke as she applied her eyeliner.
"Yeah but it felt so real, like my life was being ripped away from me." I spoke.
"Just try and get your mind off of it."
I nodded while taking a sip from the glass of water she given me.
"I'm sorry about all these rendezvous with Khyson, I know you don't specifically want to be with him but Kameron loves including him so-"
"It's fine, our conversations have been.. ethical."
"Have they?"
"I don't know!? He named his god damn real estate firm after me-"
"Allure is such a graceful middle name, it really gives what it needs to. My middle name is Beatrice, what the actually fuck was my mom thinking. Beatrice, what?" Amara retorted.
"Beatrice is acceptable." I lied.
"Don't lie."
"I'm sorry! You know what I mean." I rolled over as she laughed in shame.
"Come on.. you ready?" She held out her hands while quickly wiggling her fingers. The gesture was cute.
"Yeah." I beamed while grabbing her hands and letting us go.
We were having a another basketball night, no injuries this time.. hopefully. The only thing that has been slightly on my mind was the fact that we were going to be at Khyson's home. I couldn't imagine what his home looked like.
He's said multiple times that it's a condo, a penthouse? A small apartment? A small condo? A mansion? How many floors?
After we got into her car she began to drive.
"What's his house like?" I asked.
"He's a Richie.. it's exactly what you'd expect it to look like." She laughed with a hand on the wheel.
"Big and lavish?"
"Exactly."
-
We climbed up the elevator and stood upon his doorstep. It had been the only door on the floor, he has the whole floor to himself.
I knocked three times before Hearing a shuffle as the door opened and Khyson stood there with a grin.
"Come in." He spoke deeply.
We both walked is as I looked around. It was ginormous. There was a big island in the middle of the kitchen, the living area had a huge sectional and the hall to the bedrooms in the back seemed to go on forever.
"Where's Kameron?" Amara asked confused while looking around.
"He said he got food poisoning from some shrimp he ate yesterday." He sighed while showing us into the kitchen.
"I ate that shrimp!? What!?" Amara yelled.
"Didn't you say you felt sick last night?" I asked Amara with uncertainty while stepping back.
"I should leave." She shook her head.
"Amara you're my ride?" I took a step forward.
"I don't wanna get you sick, or Rylan, or-" and with that she was gone and we were stuck together.
Shit.
I leaned my elbow on the kitchen counter while taking the reality in. Just Khyson and I all night. I mean nothing bad can happen, right?
"Well I guess it's just us." He sighed while handing me a can of Coke.
"You want something a little stronger?" He asked, tilting his head towards the cabinet with the alcohol.
"No thanks, I don't appreciate you trying to get me drunk, though." I laughed as we made our way to the couch.
"Here, take a cup don't drink from the can." He handed me with a glass of ice.
"Remember when you got sick from drinking from a can, and-and you spent all night vomiting in my bathroom. Then we both missed school because you wouldn't stop, then I had to take you to the ER cus you passed out on the sidewalk." I said as we both fell on the couch.
"Don't remind me." He shook his head with a hand on his head.
"Mhm." I laughed.
"Well, I can leave you know.. since they're n-"
"You don't have a ride."
"I can take the train." I shook my head.
"I can get my driver to get you home." He stood up before I grabbed his hand.
"No, no it's f-" Suddenly my phone began to ring and I saw Williams contact appear.
He silenced his mouth while sitting down as I picked up.
"Hello?"
"Mama." It was Rylan, his voice was stressed, filled with sobs.
"Rylan, what is it?"
"William, he's being-he's scary-he's-I'm scared mama." That's the last thing a mother wants to hear.
"I'm coming baby, stay there, okay."
"Ok." He cried.
"Don't hang up okay?" I nodded.
"Mama p-"
"Rylan! Give me back my phone!" I suddenly heard Williams voice before the line went dead.
He's drunk.
"Fuck!" I cursed.
"What is it?" He asked while straightening his back and scooting closer to me.
"Williams drunk, I need to get a cab, Rylans there and he's scared." I shook my head before grabbing my purse.
"I'll call my driver, he'll get you there faster." He spoke before trailing after me.
"No, it's okay."
"Too late."
And with that we rushed downstairs and into the car.