Chapter 36 - This is between us
She glanced at Sean, who remained silent. He wanted to know why his father would call her. However, she did not get the chance to say anything when the impatient Samuel Donovan started his tirade.
“Do you treat my words as nothing?! Come out! My car is in front of your rundown apartment!”
Ashley already knows things going to get out of hand, especially when Sean took the phone from her with a murderous expression.
"Father," Sean spat. "Why are you calling Ashley?"
The other side suddenly became silent until Samuel suddenly bellowed angrily. “Ashley Summer! Do you think my son could stop me? Fool-”
Sean pressed the end call in the middle of his father’s tirade. The kitchen suddenly became quiet again, with the soft background noise from the TV in the living room.
She stood still and remained mute as she did not want to piss off Sean any further. But it was pretty much a useless action when his eyes were fixed onto her with high intensity.
"What did he want from you?" Sean asked softly, and she did not misunderstand that he had calmed down. In fact, he was far from being calm.
She could not resist her instinct to gulp, trying to gather her nerves. "He told me to stay away from you."
"Your answer is?"
Why does he have to ask that? She wailed inwardly as she honestly answered. "I agree."
“You did what?!” Sean growled in anger and she stepped backward in reflex. That seems to make him even angrier. "You are afraid of me? Or do you feel guilty?"
"You did agree to give up on us! I’m also doing what I thought is the best for my dad-" She immediately shut up, but she has already revealed too much.
"The best for your father? This is between us, and does not involve both of our fathers!"
Ashley took a deep breath to calm down. "It always is, Sean. Whatever we choose always affects those we love."
"How?" he asked harshly. "How can our love affect our father? It's not like they will be in trouble if we love each other. This is our marriage, not theirs! As far as I know, Advin accepted me as his son-in-law.”
Ashley winced at his angry tone, and also from what he had said.
"It does, right?" Kyle asked in surprise. That startled Sean and Ashley, as both of them had forgotten about his presence. It was bound to get Kyle’s attention with how loud their argument was getting.
“Kyle, stay out of it,” Sean warned.
"Sorry, I know this discussion is between both of you, but somehow it has also involved Mr. Donovan and Advin. I suppose you need a third person to clear this between both of you with a fresh pair of views."
"Kyle," Sean said warningly.
Kyle gave him a look, not at all afraid of Sean. "You need me to mediate, Sean. Yelling and snarling would not settle things without hurting both of you even more than necessary."
Sean snorted but did adjust his expression. "Then prove it."
"Did Mr. Donovan blackmail you?" Kyle immediately asked Ashley.
With both of them cornering her, she feels trapped. What should she do?
"Ashley, tell us. I can help you," Sean said, his tone much milder but the tight clenching of his fists portrayed he was only hiding his true emotion.
"We," Kyle corrected him and earned a glare from Sean.
"No," Ashley murmured.
"No?" Sean repeated in surprise. "Why not?"
She laughed humorlessly. "You can't help me."
"I can if you tell me what's wrong," Sean said, frustrated. "I can fix it."
"Then can you fix my heart? Can you?" Ashley asked, her voice level rising at every word.
"I can," Sean insisted. "It will take a long time, but I will spend the rest of my life fixing it and earn your trust again."
"What if I won't let you? What will you do?"
"I won't give up until you let me. You say you have forgiven me. Is that a lie?" His gaze softened and he slowly approached her.
Ashley stood still and did not retreat as she stared at him warily. When he finally reaches her, she allows herself to be pulled into his strong embrace. Why was it that his embrace makes her feel safe, where she feels that she could depend on him?
“... But I can’t forgive myself.” After years of struggling to remain strong, she finally let herself free, along with the tears that she had blocked from flowing out.
She does not know how long she had cried, but Sean did not stop holding her, whispering soothing murmurs to her, but it only served to make her tears fall heavier. It was because of his patience towards her, that she felt it was now the right time to take a step forward from the guilt that mainly stopped her from reconciling with Sean.
“I… need that two… two million.” Ashley stuttered and then clammed up, unable to continue.
Sean’s expression turned dark when he noticed her aversion towards the topic, yet still trying to open up. “Shhh, take your time. Take a deep breath.”
Kyle helpfully filled a glass of water for her, which she only held onto without taking a sip.
Ashley took a deep breath as Sean advised and although it did not stop the building panic, it had successfully unblocked her throat. “I need the money… for... for surgery. My dad, he… he needs a bone marrow transplant and I… I’m a good match.”
"I didn't know," Sean said, looking guilty.
"Because I did not tell you and I asked my family to keep it a secret. But… but that two million was not entirely paid for my dad's surgery."
Sean frowned. “Whatever remains from the two million is free for you to use whatever you want. You do not need to feel guilty for it.”
Ashley shook her head and her hands holding onto the cup trembled. “No… I-I… the rest is used for my surgery.”
"You mean your surgery to donate your bone marrow to your father?" Kyle asked.
"No, another surgery."
"What surgery?" Sean asked, looking strange. “Ashley, are you sick?”
She knew that after revealing it, things would change. It was difficult to gather her little courage to say it, but she could not hide it forever. “Abortion.”
As she expected, Sean immediately staggered back from shock and pushed away from her hands that tried to grab him. Both of their movements caused the cup in her hands to drop to the floor and smash into pieces.
Just like how Sean’s heart was smashed by what she said. “Is it because of me?”
She immediately shook her head like a hysterical woman. “No! It’s not you, never you! It’s my fault! Oh my God, I hoped for my baby, but, but I killed … my baby.”
From a glance, Sean could see there was something wrong with Ashley’s extreme reaction and he managed to push past his pain to see it. “Ashley? Why do you abort our child?”
Slowly pulling herself together, she clenched her fists tightly and no longer raised her head to look at them. "I know I… I’m pregnant when I undergo a test to see if I could give my bone marrow to my dad. The doctor told me there might be a possibility that the surgery could affect my baby, but … but I just couldn't leave my dad like that. Dad has no other remaining relative that matches with him, except for me."
"But how about Ashton? Did no one consider him?" Sean asked the cruel question.
“He is,” Kyle answered instead. “But the surgery was too risky for him. He's a weak child, and only in recent years has he slowly become stronger."
Kyle had known about it from Ashton, who was worried for his father. He wanted to be the one that donates his bone marrow, but his family, even Kyle, does not agree with it. When the Summers finally decide to have Ashley do the donation, Kyle was actually relieved because his lover would be safe.
No one knows Ashley had taken her unborn child’s life as a risk and she lost the gamble.