"Why?" Jack asked me, sounding genuinely confused, as he sat me down next to him on the couch. "Nothing has changed at all. We're still going to take care of you, just the way we've been doing."
"Everything has changed!" I insisted. "Because now I know!'
"What do you know?" Jack still sounded puzzled. Why wasn't this obvious to him? I shouldn't need to spell it out to him, surely?
"That you're in the Mafia," I said. "Before I knew, I wasn't afraid. Now I am. Because now I know that if I piss off the wrong person, they will kill me. Remember how you said my obedience was a matter of life and death? Now I know why. I don't want to live in fear, Jack. I'll never be able to relax, now. I'm going to be scared all the time."
Jack wrapped his arms around me tightly and held me close. He kissed the top of my head. "Oh sweetheart," he crooned softly. "You've got it all wrong, I promise. Nobody will be killing you, ever. No matter what you do. We wouldn't let them. Damon is the boss. Do you really think he's going to let anyone harm you? And then there's the rest of us. How is anyone ever going to get past your six big brothers? We're all here for you, darling girl. We're all going to keep you safe. And there's Paul and his team. You're fully protected. You're probably the safest girl in the country, right now."
Jack loosened his hold on me, but still kept an arm around my shoulders, a comforting gesture.
"But I still know," I said. "I don't want to be a part of the Mafia. I've lived with enough violence and abuse to last me a lifetime. I don't want to see any more of it. I want to leave."
From the other side of the room, Damon exploded. Even from here, I could feel his anger. He didn't yell, but he didn't need to.
"You're a Bogiatto - you don't have a choice," he tells me bluntly. "I'm your legal guardian, and that won't be changing. You'll do what I tell you."
"Ease up brother," Jack commanded, glaring at Damon. "Just let her get used to it."
"But that's the thing!" I yelled at Jack. "I'm never going to get used to it! I don't want to be in the Mafia! I don't want to live with people who are! Don't you get that?"
"Lower your voice," Damon ordered. He strode across the room and squatted down until he was at eye level with me. "You've already had your free pass for yelling; you're not allowed to do it any more. Nor are you allowed to be disrespectful. You can ask us whatever questions you want, and we will do our best to answer them. But let's get one thing straight right now: you are a part of this family, and you will be staying right here with us. Mafia or not, you belong with us."
"But I don't want to," I whispered. "I'm frightened."
Immediately, Damon softened, and Jack tightened his hold on me."But you don't need to be frightened sweetheart," Jack told me. "Nothing changes for you; that's what we've been telling you. You're safe. We're going to continue looking after you, just like we've been doing."
"You don't know that," I insisted.
"Carrie, look at me." Damon spoke gently, but firmly, and he took my chin in his hand and turned me to face him. "You are safe," he assured me. "You don't need to be frightened. Absolutely nothing is changing, except now you know the reasons why we do the things we do, and have the rules that we do. You are not in any danger, I promise you. All of us will make sure you are safe. We have security cameras and alarms. Nobody can come here without us knowing. You will be sheltered from violence as much as possible, and you will never, ever be abused."
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Trying to slow my racing heart. Trying to ease the anxiety gripping my insides. Jack kept holding me, and Damon brushed my hair back from my face before he stood up. My other brothers looked at me, concerned. Together, they all made me feel loved. Protected. Maybe it will be okay, I thought.
"So are your businesses legit, or are they just a cover for the Mafia?" I asked.
Across the room, Alex chuckled. "You watch too much TV," he said. "Yes, they're legit. I help run them. So does Damon. He's the CEO of all the companies, and the leader of the Mafia, and I back him up. Between us, we oversee everything."
I thought for a moment, trying to take this all in. My whole world felt like it had been turned on its head, and I didn't like it. But at the same time, I knew that I had to do my best to accept it. Damon's words rang in my ears, reassuring me. You are part of this family. You belong with us. We will take care of you. Although he'd been scolding me when he said them, those words cemented my place in the family.
"So what do you do, exactly?" I asked Nick. I kinda had it figured out for Damon and Alex, and I knew Jack was a lawyer, but I didn't know what Nick or Rocco did. Not really.
"I'm the computer expert," Nick told me. "I'm a hacker, tracer, interceptor... everything to do with computers, I do it. I also help run the businesses, especially the nightclub and casino."
I nodded. "And Rocco?"
Jack answered that question. "He's at college," he said. "He's doing a business degree, and helps run all the businesses."
"And Logan?"
"I'm at school," he said, in a duh tone, as if he thought I was completely stupid.
"So you have nothing to do with the Mafia at all?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Not really. Not yet. I'm training - in the gym and everything else - so I'll be ready for when the time comes. But for now, I'm just a normal teenager. Just like you. Damon wants us to be able to grow up as normally as possible."
"Oh." That made sense, I supposed. Although it was pretty obvious Logan knew a lot more about the family business than what he was letting on, I appreciated him trying to water it down for me, and pretend he wasn't all that much different from me. In reality, we were poles apart, but I appreciated his effort.
As my brothers explained their roles to me in simple terms that I understood, and reassured me, I began to relax. Jack's strong fingers kneaded my shoulders, working out the kinks from when I'd been so tense, and just the sheer physical presence of my brothers made me realize that they were right: nothing had changed. Not really.
In unison, my brothers stood up.
"We've got to get back to work," Damon said. "Carrie, you and Logan can go into the kitchen, get some afternoon tea, then you're free to do what you want. I've already cleared this afternoon off with the school. You'll return tomorrow, like normal."
I watched as Jack went to his office, and the rest of my brothers, except Logan, went through that forbidden door. The place I wasn't allowed to go, not even now, that I knew.