Warning: light cussing and it's really sad
Baba: is used as a gender neutral term in place of mum or dad. It is used for the reader. (If you don't like the use of baba you can replace it with mama or mummy or daddy or whatever you want I'm just trying to make sure it's as inclusive as possible)
Do not read this if you aren't prepared for sad things like health related disturbances and such. Do not read this if you can't handle death.
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You and Harvey were currently sitting on the couch in your shared flat waiting for a call from your son's doctor.
You're son luca came running out of his bedroom to show you both something. You picked him up smiling at him as he started showing you both his new stuffed animal. You smiled at him, lightly kissing his nose as he giggled. God you loved him so much. He was always the happy go lucky type. His smile was one of the most adorable things in the world.
Yours and Harvey's son had recently been getting sick a lot whether it be a fever or chills, and had been losing a lot of weight, he seemed to be getting hurt a lot easier which never happened before he was a pretty energetic and robust toddler and the recent occurrence of these things had worried the both you. You had taken him to the doctor a couple of days ago to run tests and now you were just waiting to see what the results were.
You watched as Luca made his way back to his play room. Harvey's phone started ringing so he picked it up putting it up to his ear. Harvey sucked in a breath listening to whatever the person on the other side was saying occasionally getting out an "okay" or "uh-huh" right as he was ending the phone call he asked.
H: when should we come in
You were confused but at the same time still worried. Harvey turned to face you a tear running down his face, as he put down his phone. He took a deep breath before speaking.
H: they - they um - they think he has leukemia
You could feel tears start to run down your face as Harvey's arms wrapped around you pulling you into his chest. You kept trying to tell yourself that it would be alright but nothing seemed to sedate the awful feeling forming in you.
H: we scheduled an appointment for the 24 run one more test and if it comes back positive then we'll go from there.
You nodded leaning into him. As Luca ran back out to you both, his hands were outstretched towards you, you picked him up pulling him into your arms the idea of losing your baby just hurt. Luca looked at you pressing kisses to your face.
L: don't be sad!
*time skip to the appointment*
The doctor had finished running the test on Luca who was sat in your lap. He had you both wait there as he rushed to get the test results processed earlier than they would've. You sat there holding Luca in your arms lightly kissing his head. Luca turned to you lightly kissing your cheek.
L: I wuv you baba
You smiled at your little baby boy who sit their in your arms. You were trying to hold it together for him, if you were scared he for sure would be scared as well.
Y/n: I wuv you to baby
Luca turned to Harvey.
Luca: daddy why baba sad?
Harvey ruffled Luca's hair, pressing a kiss to his head before speaking.
H: sometimes parents get sad about things they can't always talk about.
He nodded cuddling into your arms turning to you and peppering kisses to your face causing giggles to fall from your lips. Both of you smiling at the other.
L: don't be sad baba, I'll make it good!
You smiled at the small child pressing kissed to his face as he giggled and cheered that he succeeded in lifting your mood. He truly was a ball of light.
A little while later the doctor came back in with a sad look on his face.
Dr: the Tests came back positive, his white blood cell count is far higher then his red blood cell count. We did a test for Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, it's a common type of cancer in children that Grows fast, it starts in the bone marrow where the blood cells are made.
You felt Harvey lightly squeeze your hand as you felt the air get pulled from your lungs it feel like someone had just kicked you in the chest. You could tell he was about to reveal that the test came back positive, and you weren't sure if you were ready for that. The doctor continued.
Dr: the test came back positive
Tears rushed down your face as he continued to talk.
Dr: the treatment process usually takes 2-3 years. The first thing we need to start chemotherapy, after about a month usually children enter remission, the first month is usually the most intense. It'll require prolonged hospital stays for treatment and frequent doctors visits, serious infections or other complications can occur during this. It's is vital every medicine prescribed gets taken. We may need to do transplants, nursing care, antibiotics, or nutrition depending on what happens as some complications can be life threatening.
You both nodded continuing to listen even though you were both crying.
Dr: the Chemotherapy drugs are L-asparaginase, and Vincristine, a steroid drug dexamethasone, and daunorubicin. We also wanna make sure that we do intrathecal chemotherapy as soon as possible to kill any leukemia cells that might have spread to the brain or spinal chord we're gonna do that several times within the next couple of months. That treatment will consist of hydrocortisone and cytarabine. We may also have to do radiation therapy to the brain depending on how bad it is a bit after the first couple of rounds. We really want to avoid that though so we are going to be doing more frequent intensive chemotherapy.
You both nodded Harvey lightly rubbing your back ignoring the tears falling from his own eyes.
Dr: because that's a lot to take in we're only explaining the first phase today when you reach the next phase we'll explain it to you. If you look in the packet I handed you earlier there's another hospital that is trained a lot more than we are and has a lot of experience in this area. They specialize in diseases like this. We got you an appointment so everything can start on the 27th.
You both nodded as the doctor allowed you both to leave, you and Harvey got up, Harvey handing you Luca's blanket so you could keep him warm when leaving without having to wake him up to put his coat on. You both got to the car Harvey taking Luca from you to strap him into the car seat. You couldn't help but feel hesitant about handing him Luca, but you did nonetheless. As soon as you were both in Harvey took out his phone texting his mum asking if it was alright you all came over she said it was fine as everyone was home even Max.
H: figured we could use family time before all of this completely takes over, yeah?
You nodded, Harvey leaned over pressing a small kiss to your temple. You leaned your head against the window lost in your thoughts unable to think of anything that wasn't about Luca. The drive was long but you didn't really notice. You only noticed anything when the car had parked in front of his parents house, you realized you had been crying the entire time lightly wiping your eyes. Stepping out of the car watching as Harvey got Luca out of the car and passed him to you. Harvey grabbed out the diaper bag and anything else that would be needed. You both knocked on the door waiting to be let in. As soon as the door opened you were met with hugs and greetings. His mum almost immediately noticing both yours and Harvey's tear stained cheeks.
S: Leo and Tilly why don't you take your nephew to Tilly's room and go play with him.
They nodded taking the toddler who had just woken up from your arms. Harvey lightly rubbed your back as you followed his parents and Max into the kitchen. You and Harvey sat down at the island Max and their parents standing on the other side. You put your head into your hands taking a deep breath as Harvey started recounting what had happened at the hospital. You all ended up in tears as they came over and wrapped their arms around you both. The younger children came back into the room with Luca who had gotten a nosebleed a bit after getting here. You wiped your eyes immediately rushing to him, providing aid along with Harvey who got tissues for him.
After getting everything sorted his parents explained what was going on to Harvey's youngest siblings, while Max stayed in the room with you two figuring out how everything was gonna be working, figuring it was best to take a break from social media as their schedules would need to be cleared Incase anything happened. You lightly kissed Luca head as he clung onto you.
L: can we snuggle with daddy?
You looked at Harvey who nodded.
y/n: of course baby
He smiled as you and Harvey walked to Harvey's old room, Max letting his parents know where you had disappeared to and why. you and Harvey laid down on the bed with Luca on Harvey's chest as you wrapped your arm around them both, one of Harvey's arms was around you as the other was around Luca.
*time skip to the first round of chemo*
You all got there almost immediately getting called back into a living quarters styled hospital room you'd be in for the next week with him so they could monitor him. They put an IV in him, you holding him as he cried still not completely understanding what was happening. After they set that up they brought in the medicine and then getting him completely hooked up to anything and wrapping up the places they put it in at. You kissed his head lightly watching as he started to calm down and lean into you. You were both sitting on the bed as Harvey moved onto the bed lightly playing with Luca's hair as he had calmed down but the medicine was also bound to make him sick as it usually made them sick sooner or later.
By the end of the treatment he ended up throwing up at least twice. It broke you and Harvey to see him like this. Max ended up FaceTiming during the treatment helping to lift Luca's spirits as Max promised to bring him a new stuffed animal when he saw y/c/n next. You really appreciated how good of an uncle he was to Luca. He definitely tried to be Luca's favorite uncle. After the call however Luca's mood was much worse than before he was needy which you never had a problem with it just wasn't much like him as he had always been very Independent. He just wanted you or Harvey to hold him at all times. He had also begun to get very whiny which wasn't a problem considering what he was going through, it just again was out of the usual.
*time jump to another round (he already had intrathecal chemotherapy I just didn't know how to write about it)*
You were set up in the same room but this time Harvey's family was there and Max had yet another stuffed animal for Luca he always brought one any time he saw Luca to help lift her spirits. Max ended up holding him during this treatment, as luca wanted him to.
Y/n: I'll be right back I just need to go use the restroom
You got up going into the bathroom inside the room feeling tears pour down your cheeks you had been trying to hold it all In around Luca as to not worry him, Harvey lightly knocked on the door before opening it coming in to see you cradled in a ball crying. He rushed to your side immediately wrapping his arms around you. He kissed your head while rubbing your back.
H: Baby, hey the doctors say he's doing alright.
You had this parental instinct that screamed the opposite. A gut feeling that told you otherwise.
Y/n: I can feel it Harvey I know they're wrong and they're missing something. He's my baby and I know it, i just know he's doing worse than they think. And I really don't want to lose my baby.
Harvey nodded understanding how you feel to be quite frank he understood exactly as he had this feeling deep down that Luca wouldn't make it.
By the time you both had calmed down and were presentable to come out without upsetting your son you both left the bathroom sitting back down on the couch Harvey's arm around you, lightly pulling you into his chest. He kissed your head rubbing your back.
H: hey why don't you take a nap you, have sleep to catch up on.
you went to protest but when you saw that Harvey wasn't going to let you off on this one you nodded cuddling back into his chest allowing yourself to finally fall completely asleep for the first time since you found out.
*time skip to a couple months later to a doctors visit*
You and Harvey had gotten Luca checked in and were now back in the hospital room waiting to hear if he was able to go into the next phase. The doctor came in with the test results.
Dr: so we could do one of two things right now with how he is doing one is much better for him physically at the moment while the other may not even be worth it.
You both nodded.
Dr: he is at an extreme high risk, it has developed much quicker than we thought originally and it does not seem to be getting better in fact it's getting worse. We can either go into the consolidation stage and Start more intense chemo which could cause him more harm than needed or alternatively let him live his life to the fullest he can at the moment take him home let him live the last couple of months of his life at home around family there will be medications he can take to help with the pain, we just think it would be much more ethical to limit the pain he has to endure and the first route will just be more painful and have the same end result you'll just have him around a little longer. Longer doesn't mean better though it'll be incredibly painful and he won't really get to see many people as he'll be highly Susceptible to contracting illnesses, serious infections, etc. Think over this and choose which would be better for Luca.
He left the room to give you both time as you were struggling to keep it together. Luca tugged on your sleeve.
L: I wanna go home baba I'm tired
You're heart broke as you nodded hugging him close to you.
H: I think it'd be best if we took the second option and just bring him home, we can't keep putting him through this he's extremely weak and tired. I don't want to lose him as much as you, but I don't want to watch him suffer either.
you nodded leaning into him tears pricking in both of your eyes. You let the doctor know your option. Harvey texted his family asking if one of them could clear out the hospital room you stayed in that had yet to be cleared out. To which Max said he would. You both got into the car going home. As soon as you got home Luca's eyes lit up as you all made your way to his room setting him up, a nurse would be coming by everyday to help with his needs and check to see how he was doing and set him up on an IV if needed. Harvey's and your family visited him frequently.
Luca was still going pretty strong when you were offered to get his wish granted (make a wish kids) he thought about it before saying how he wanted to go to Disneyland so you flew out and brought the whole family. He had the time of his life. The light inside his eyes never faded when you were there you also celebrated his 6th birthday. He got to meet his favorite Disney characters, Peter Pan told him the lost boys would love to meet him one day and that it was in a magical place called neverland where he'd play all day and never have to grow up. He smiled at him then hugged him. You and Harvey crying at what he said but feeling reassured that you made the right choice of not making him continue the intensive treatments that would lead to the same conclusion but with more pain. Seeing him happy again was the best thing in the world. He wouldn't have been able to do this if he was still going through treatment.
*Time skip to a month later at home*
You and Luca were cuddling on the couch watching encanto which Luca had decided was his favorite movie. He was singing along to 'what else can I do' it was so adorable.
L: baba can we dance?
You smiled at the precious bundle little bundle of joy in your arms smiling at him.
Y/n: of course baby
You stood up scooping him up swaying back and forth with him in your arms. He smile at you doing a little dance with his arms. You laughed lightly smiling at him.
L: can I see Evie and dob and Tom soon?
You smiled at him knowing how much he adored them, you nodded making a mental note to talk to Harvey to see if he could invite them over.
Just then Harvey and Max came into the room with all three of them and each of them were holding what looked to be fanmail.
L: BABA IS MAGICAL
Harvey gave an amused look putting down the packages and walking over and lightly taking Luca from you.
H: oh really? What'd they do?
Luca smiled brightly as his father kissed both of his cheeks.
L: I asked baba if I could see Evie dob and Tom and then BOOM they walk in
Harvey smiled at the toddler in his arms.
H: baba really is magical aren't they.
Max peered around from behind his twin.
M: Hey! What about me?
Luca smiled brightly making grabby hands at his uncle.
L: uncle Max! Do you have a stuffy?
Max revealed a green frog plush from behind his back.
M: would I forget one?
Luca shook his head as he reached for the toy, Max gave the toddler the plush watching as Luca's eyes lit up.
H: what do you say bud
Harvey asked the sweet child in his arms.
L: Thank you! I'm naming him lord frogquad
You all bursted into laughter remembering how Harvey got him obsessed with Shrek.
H: that reminds me some of the fans sent in gifts for Luca
Luca's eyes lit up as he clapped his hands together after setting lord frogquad in the collar of his dad's shirt.
L: for me?
Evie smiled at the child.
E: yeah bub, all for you.
You watched as Luca let out a little squeal.
Y/n: we're filming it right?
Max smiled before saying.
M: Fuck yeah
You and Harvey immediately going to cover Luca's ears.
Y/n: Language
Max muttered an oops.
You got it all set up you and Harvey next to Luca on the couch as the rest of them sat behind camera. As soon as you were filming Harvey started the intro.
H: welcome back or welcome to the channel of you're new. I'm Harvey and Max is behind camera with Evie, Dobby, and Tom. I'm joined by my lovely partner y/n and my adorable son Luca
Luca smiled waving causing all of you to aw.
H: you guys sent in gifts and fanmail for Luca so we figured we'd help him open them on camera.
A few gift later Luca dropped lord frogquad.
L: FUCK
Everyone behind camera bursted out laughing as Max awkwardly held back laughter in fear that his twin would beat his ass. You and Harvey held back you laughter as Harvey turned to his twin.
H: Max!
Max shot off running as Harvey got up following suit. You turned to Luca.
Y/n: baby that's a bad word you can't say it.
Luca frowned slightly as tears welled up in his eyes from being scolded.
L: I'm sorry baba, are you mad at me?
You shook your head immediately picking up Luca to sit on your lap.
Y/n: of course not baby, you didn't know. Baba could never be mad at you.
You kissed his cheeks watching as his mood changed and he laughed.
L: I wuv you baba
You smiled at him.
Y/n: I wuv you too baby
*time skip to his final predicted month*
You had been temporarily staying with Harvey's family so he could be close to them as your family couldn't make it as a sickness was being passed around with them and you didn't want to compromise his state more than it already was. You all spent the majority of the time with him. You and Harvey never left his side unless you had to use the bathroom. At this point he was bed ridden and hooked up to an IV and a heart rate monitor. Harvey had dyed his hair again for Luca it was deeper lilac which was his favorite color. You and Harvey were beside him as his heart rate started slowing down the nurse letting you both know what you already knew, it was happening, his time was coming. You felt a tear fall down your face. You lightly whispered to yourself.
Y/n: don't leave me- please
But he heard it looked up at you both.
L: I'll always be your baby, I wuv you baba and daddy
You're heart seemed to be shattering
H: i wuv you too baby
You felt tears fighting their way down your face.
Y/n: I wuv you too bubba
You lightly kissed his head Harvey did it after continuing to run his finger through Luca's hair that had grown back now that he wasn't constantly going through chemotherapy.
L: I'm tired baba
Harvey's face was soaked at this point.
H: close your eyes sweetheart it'll be alright
You bit your lip trying to contain a sob from coming out. Everyone was crying at this point not a single dry eye in the room.
Y/n: it's okay baby- baba and daddy are right here
You truly didn't think you'd be happy again after this.
H: everyone's right here
He pointed at everyone naming them all for her.
H: theres uncle Max right there, there's grandma, and grandpa, and uncle Leo, and auntie Tilly. They're all here baby it's okay.
Luca nodded cuddling into you both. His breathing continued to slow as he gripped onto your shirt.
---- alternative ending
He pushed himself up smiling at you both his heart rate seemed to go back to normal. As he cuddled into you both focussing on kissing away your problems. You smiled at the sweet boy in your arms. He seemed to get stronger as if it wasn't the end.
*Time skip to a month later*
Dr: this is almost unprecedented, we've never seen a kid come back from these type of things. But he is, his body is fighting it off again. We think it'd be a good idea to put him back on chemo.
You and Harvey pulled each other into a hug happy tears streaming down your faces. A sense of relief finally washing over you. You both pulled away.
Y/n: I think we should do it put him back on chemo and see how his body reacts.
Harvey nodded smiles playing on both of your faces. The doctor nodded smiling at both of you.
*Time skip a year later*
You watched as your seven year old walked up to the bell and rang it finally being cancer free. You picked him up after his legs wrapping around your waist as you all hugged. He was going to be just fine. You all were.
---- real ending
His grip loosened as his s heart flat lined tears immediately flowing down your cheeks a sob raking through you and Harvey as you both clutched onto his as the warmth started to leave Luca's body.
Everyone in the room was crying.
No one said anything the only sound that could be heard was the sound of crying and the nurse unhooking things and unplugging things packing it all away then leaving the room giving you all space to grieve even the nurse cried a bit as this kid was strong, he was also extremely fun to be around and happy, he always made those around him smile, if he ever saw someone sad he'd cheer them up, or if it was you or Harvey he'd shower you/him in love and kisses and tell you he loved you and he didn't want you to be sad.
Harveys family left the house giving you both your space, Max being the last one to leave hugging you both. As you and Harvey pulled away to look at Luca gently removing his hand from Luca's curls and kissing Luca's forehead, you lightly kissing his cheek like he always did to you then putting his favorite stuffed animal lord frogquad by him like you used to do every night to make sure he had it. As soon as you left the room you fell to your knees more tears pouring out of your eyes. Lightly whispering to yourself.
Y/n: he's gone my baby's gone. I'm not a baba anymore.
Harvey's arms wrapping around you promising you that you were very much still a baba and that Luca wouldn't want either of you to feel like like this, and that to him you were very much still his baba and that Luca loved you and him so so much. He helped you back up walking you into the guest room as his old room had been used for Luca.
He grabbed out clean clothes for you both and two towels then left the room to go start a bath. He came back in sitting beside you on the bed looking at the picture frame you held in your hands. It was of luca, and you two at his fifth birthday party.
H: c'mon love let's go take a bath and then after we can cuddle, yeah?
You nodded allowing him to take the frame from you. And pick you up as you clung to him. The bath calmed you both down helping you feel a bit better. You hadn't really been able to bathe for this long or as nice as you didn't really make time for it with Luca's condition. After the bath you ended up in one of Harvey's hoodies and a pair of joggers, Harvey practically wearing the same. You both cuddled soon falling into a much needed sleep.
*time skip to the day of the funeral*
You stood in front of the mirror one hand clutching the black dress/suit you were wearing the other over your mouth as you held in a sob. Harvey had just come out of the bathroom wearing a black suit and you just weren't sure if you could take it. It all hurt. You both had eulogies that you had to give and you really didn't think you'd make it through yours. You grabbed the piece of paper you had written on and lord frogquad, after getting it from Max he took it everywhere and he couldn't fall asleep without it.
As soon as you got there everyone started offering their condolences. You had a really tough time keeping it together and could feel yourself about to cave into the sadness. Harvey gave his eulogy first, how Luca was a light in both of your worlds as soon as he was born and how after he was born he was the cutest, most energetic ball of light. And how he couldn't have asked for a better son.
As soon as it was your turn you could feel yourself shake a little. You stood up walking over to the podium right in front of her open casket you stood there taking out the slip of paper.
Y/n: Luca was and is my baby, I tell myself that everyday. As soon as I had him the biggest fear in my life was loosing him as any parents worst nightmare is. I guess we're living every parents worst nightmare right now but that's not what I wanted to talk about. Luca was extremely optimistic, and positive. If he ever saw you upset he tried his best to cheer you up. Anytime he saw a family member upset he would tell them he loved them so much, he would kiss your cheek or forehead and hug you telling you he didn't want you to be sad.
You took a breath trying wiping the tear that had fallen.
Y/n: I remember when we first found out how he had leukemia he just thought I looked upset and tried to help, granted he always knew when I was upset. He was the sweetest person he'd share food, toys, his blanket, anything he'd share it all just to see a smile on someone else's face. I remember when he was able to go to Disneyland the way he was so excited to meet them all. I remember how when he met Peter Pan and he told him the Lost boys would love to hang out with him in neverland where they'd play all day and never get old. I realized what he said was more so to comfort me and Harvey. On his very last day when his heart rate started to slow down I remember whispering to myself about not wanting him to leave me he looked up at me and Harvey telling us he was always going to be our baby. I can't say that it's been easy because it hasn't but I can say that his memory and how happy he was in his final days definitely helps. I miss him but looking back at photos and videos helps.
You took a deep breath not bothered to wipe the tears that had fallen as they just kept coming.
Y/n: I'm realizing how all over the place I sound but his life is just so much more than I could ever summarize in a eulogy.
You held up lord frogquad.
Y/n: he took lord frogquad everywhere never went anywhere without it. Whether it was just in the room or right in his hands it had to be near him. Max gave it to him a couple months ago
Your voice cracked slightly as tears spilled down your cheeks thinking back to how it was only a couple of months ago that he got it. And now he was gone.
Y/n: he immediately name it lord frogquad after the Shrek character lord farquad. It made us all laughed and after getting it, he never went to sleep without it and was always asking for it if he couldn't find it. And I cant see him going without.
You walked to the casket putting it in wrapping his arms around it like he used to when he would carry it around. You leaned down kissing his head one last. Stepping back allowing Harvey who had joined you to kiss his forehead one last time. Once he stepped back he wrapped an arm around your shoulder watching as they closed the casket. Tears flowed down both of your cheeks as they started to lower the casket into the ground. You turned towards him putting your head into his chest tears falling from both of your eyes. As he moved his hands up and down your back. He lightly kissed your head. Both of you unable to contain the tears that flowed.
The ride back to your flat was quiet you both needed a bit of seclusion from family for a bit. Time to disconnect. As soon as you got there and you were inside you're heart broke even more the living room was still set up with his toys. You're heart aches as you almost passed his room until you stopped unable to keep going. You turned to the door as Harvey sat down in the kitchen with his head in his hands. You contemplated it looking at the letters on his door, the light pastel letters that spelled out his name. You figured it might help going in. As soon as you twisted the doorknob the sunlight flowing in through the shear white curtains he loved so much, the yellow walls everything just the way it had been left except for a shoe box labeled "to baba and daddy from your baby "
Y/n: Harvey!
Harvey rushed in watching as you patted the bed space next to you. Seeing the messily written label that was in fact Luca's writing. When you opened it there were pictures and different little gifts, tiny little notes from h saying how much he loved you both, on his bed as well was a build bear with the same note that had the same label but it was from Max and Luca. The bear smelled of strawberries and had a voice box where when you pressed it, it was his voice making a kissy noise saying "I wuv you so so much baba and daddy" tears fell from both your eyes as you looked at the little bear pressing the voice box one more time missing him so much.
As much as you both missed him you were happy he no longer suffered. You both helped each other through it.
One of the hardest part was telling the fans about his death and having to retell the story it all hurt. But with time it got easier and you ended up having two more children a couple of years later. Twin boys who were sweet and ended up learning about their older brother Luca and how amazing he was and how much he loved them. The boys were just as optimistic and although it definitely hurt emotionally not having Luca around you, you both grew as people and you spoke more on childhood cancer and how it affects families. You were both kinder and more loving (not that you both weren't before but you get the point) you lived everyday to the fullest and did everything you could. Healing was hard but family made it easier the newborn twins gave you more reasons to smile and you loved them just as much as you loved Luca. Sometimes you could feel his presence and you could tell that he was still there.
----
I might rewrite the part two of this as well. Anyways yes I know this one was sad but deal with it.
Requests are open feel free and to give me a celeb, pronouns, a short summary.
-- Myles
Words count: 6004