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QOTD: Celebrate every tiny victory.
R O M Y:
Marcus gathered me into his arms and kissed my face all over and made me feel really special. I was very sad when we had to end our meeting, but I knew that I had to go home, it was Friday and I had invited Cassie over to talk to her about all this and also to probably go clubbing. A night out would do me some good after the rollercoaster this week has been. I was now driving home, calm yet slightly troubled and also a little nervous at the prospect of seeing Cassandra and talking to her about everything that transpired between Marcus and myself. I hold Cassie's opinion in high regard, as she does mine.
I reach home soon enough to thanks to less traffic, pretty unusual for a Friday night. I let out a deep sigh as I reach home, sink into my couch, close my eyes briefly and a small smile spreads on my lips of its own accord.
I hear a ping and unlock my phone, it's a notification from Cassie. I groan lightly regretting saying yes to going out with her. I didn't wanna go out, I wanted to stay in, eat junk food and cry over my pathetic life. But was it gonna help me? No. Maybe if I exhausted myself into getting a restful night's sleep, I could think straight.
I sighed and closed my eyes when the bell rang. I groaned and got up to open the door, it was definitely Cassie with her new dresses. And I was right!
She walked past me without a hi, seemingly upset about something. "Well hello to you too Cass" I grumble. We were gonna have a long night.
"I got into a fight with Andy." She grumbles from her seat. I bend down to pick up the dresses and place them on the sofa and take a seat next to her. "What happened?" I question getting comfortable.
She looks at me for a moment then throws her head back and sighs loudly, I sigh quietly. "Can we just stay at home, watch movies and eat junk food?" she speaks. "Oh thank god! I was so tired. I could cry of relief" I exclaim. She giggles lightly and we become silent for a while, scrolling through our phones. I take the chance and place an order for some pizza the both of us.
I put my phone down and look at Cassie, she focused on the video of a cat playing with some random video and smiled lightly as the cat did something stupid. I sigh, "Cass, do you wanna talk about what happened?" I hear her grumble something under her breath and chuckle lightly lean my head on her shoulder. "Spill girl." I say.
"He got jealous and behaved so irrationally, and one thing lead to another and before I knew it we were fighting full on about stupid things and I grabbed my dresses and left. Midway. He hasn't texted me once. He knows we were gonna go clubbing tonight." She seemed so upset and I didn't know what to say that would make this better. So I wrapped my arms around and held her quietly for a few moments.
"You guys are gonna make up soon, trust me that man cannot be away from you. Not for long Cass." I shrug and she smiles. "Yea he is obsessed with me" she giggles and I laugh loudly when the doorbell rings, I get up and open the door hoping it's the pizza. The deliveryman hands me a package that smells glorious but definitely not pizza. I frown and look inside when I see the logo of the Chinese takeout that's my staple. "Everything cool?" The deliveryman asks looking at my frown. "Actually I ordered pizza. I think this is someone else's order."
"But this was the address that was given to us." He scratches the back of his neck, "You're not Cassandra Josephine then?" My eyes widen as I piece together what must've happened and quickly reassure the deliveryman who seemed panicked.
"Oh Cassandra is my friend, she's inside, I had no idea she ordered food." He still looked nervous, I called Cassie to come to the door. She walked out still staring at the phone. "Yea Romy, is everything cool?" Looking between me and the deliveryman.
"Did order Chinese?" I ask
"Yeah, they delivered it sooner than usual, didn't they?" She asks eyeing the package in my hands and I nod. Then I make eye-contact with the deliveryman who seems relieved at knowing that the package was delivered to the right person. I smile at him and thank him and close the door.
"I ordered pizza too" I blurt out placing the food on the coffee table, I hear Cassie's loud laugh from my bedroom.
She steps out a few moments later in one of my comfy pajama sets. I look down at my work clothes that I didn't get a chance to change out of. I go into my room pick out a comfy pajama and walk into the hall and hear Taylor Swift playing. Not just anything, ten minute version of All Too Well.
I frown and see Cassie sitting on the sofa and humming along to the song. "Did Andy break up with you? " I ask crossing my arms over my chest. She stops humming and looks up at me, "Of course not. Just felt like some Taylor Swift" I roll my eyes, and sit down and we listen to the song in quiet, as the song finishes, I grab the remote from Cassie and play '22' by Taylor Swift and start singing along obnoxiously loudly with the TV making Cassie laugh and join in two seconds later and we belt out all the lyrics while shaking our asses to the beat. Just as the song comes to an end, the bell rings and I realize it must be the pizza-man and quickly open the door while Cass goes off YouTube on TV to pick a movie for us to watch and I close the door. I place the pizza on the coffee table and walk into the kitchen to grab some cutlery and I do so with quick precision, "Ro, Finding Dory or Tangled, I'm confused." Cassie bellows. I think for a moment before yelling back, "Tangled"
I hear a small laugh before she yells "Eugene's Hoe" and I laugh carrying the cutlery into the hall and set them on the coffee table and we begin to eat quietly watching the movie. We finish eating up after a while and we paused the movie to finish doing the dishes. It was peaceful, the house was quiet except for the sounds of dishes being cleaned and water running. Yet my mind was turbulent and my heart was heavy. I sigh quietly and turn to Cassie who was drying off the dishes.
"Cass."
"Hm" Cassie hummed
This was it, now or never. "I slept with Marcus." I blurt out and continue washing dishes as if I hadn't dropped a bomb on her. I watch her from my peripheral, her head was still down, cleaning the dish that was in her hand. She cleans it meticulously and places it on the rack and turns to face me, in slow motion. I wince and finish cleaning my last dish.
"You what now, Ro?" She asks with an expression similar to my mother whenever I did something wrong.
"I-I slept with Marcus" I say quietly.
"Why Romy?" She's waiting for my answer
"There was this connection, Cass I couldn't ignore it, I tried so hard." I say and I feel my nose twitch. I just know I'm going to cry before this conversation is over.
"And now I feel horrible, our time together is glorious, and I feel like everyone else disappears when we're together but there's also a slight unease in my chest all the time, about how I'm wrecking his home. I make that choice every single time Cassie. I don't know if I'm strong enough to not make that decision. It's weighing me down, he makes me feel like how Andy makes you feel. And I'm not ready to let that go Cass." By the time I finish my speech tears are already streaming down my cheeks and Cassie rushes forward and wraps me in a bear hug.
"Romy I understand what you're trying to say, but I don't know if I can support your decisions if you continue to see him. You're an adult woman, you're more than capable of calling the shots in your life, so I will not interfere in this matter, but I sure hope to god you take the right decision Rom." She says seriously.
"So you won't be my friend if I continue seeing Marcus?" I question feeling like crying all over again.
"No, I'll always be your friend, we'll just never agree about this issue is all I'm saying." She says.
"I really like him, Cass" I say desperately. Cassie shrugs, "Where do you see this going Ro, Marriage? Babies? Growing old together? Forget all of that, you both can't even go out in public holding hands without causing a scandal."
I aggressively wipe the tears that fall on my cheeks, "Cassie, don't you think I know all of this, I wanted your help to make a decision. And you, you're not helping" I cry out.
"You already made a decision, when you decided to sleep with him Romy, there's nothing left to decide except for the question of you continuing with him or no. And from what I can see you're fighting pretty hard for a man who can't even love you publicly." The volume of her voice had risen by the end of it and I was full on sobbing by now.
"If you're expecting that I'll make your decision for you, I won't Romy. I trust you to take the right decision. I love you." She kisses my forehead and I sniffle lightly.
"I think I'm gonna head home and make up with Andy now, the poor guy is probably worried out of his mind" She says and goes into the hall to gather her things and I follow her quietly.
I open the door and she steps out of the apartment and looks at me and smiles softly prompting one of my own, as she's about to say something her phone rings and she mouths a 'sorry' and picks it up.
"Yes Andy? Yes I'm with Romy. No we didn't go clubbing. Are you feeling calmer now? Yeah I'll see you at home." She murmurs into the phone in a soothing voice. In that moment I was so jealous of my best friend for being in a healthy, adoring relationship while I was stuck in this endless cycle of happiness, pleasure and sadness.
She ends the call and gives me a brilliant smile and pulls me into another bone crushing hug and whispers, "Do the right thing Ro."
After she leaves, I lock the door and sit back down and press play on the movie when my phone lights up with a notification.
MARCUS: I'm thinking about you, my darling.
A simple text was enough to make my heart flutter. But I don't open the message and continue watching the movie and go to bed pretending everything in my life was alright, and that I hadn't fallen in love with a married man.
OMG, OMG, OMG!
we hit 2.7K reads and I'M SHOOK!
Thank you so much all of you guys for your constant support and love in the form of reads and votes. It lights my heart up with so much joy.
And moving on to more important things,
Let's all pray for Ukraine to come out of this with as little damage as possible.💕
I love you guys, thank you for making my dreams come true.
NEXT BIG GOAL is 5K!
sorry for the late update ehehe
stay hydrated
until next time,
- Sri❤️