// 4 years later //
Morning, 8:45 pm.
The sun poured through my window. The dawn crisp and clear. I rubbed my blury eyes and walked to the window. There was a pearly glow in the sky. The first rays of sunlight lit up my room. The morning chorus of melodic bird song drifted in. After Strom last night, there is an colorful arc form in the sky. Emitting positivity and cheerfulness to the beautiful morning. I'm happy to wake up even before the alarm today. How could I not, new day, new city, new place, new home, fresh start. The orange rays as hit my face; I feel refreshed. I quickly got fresh and grab my coffee to be with myself before starting my day.
There is a park opposite of our apartment building. Yes, apartment. After spending my 4 years writing books, publishing it and making it a success. I finally decided to complete those things simultaneously which I feel left out in my life.
Engineering is fun, but I feel more connected to literature after graduating. It took my unexpected attention. I hesitate to follow extreme side track from the career I am pursuing in but thanks to dad who motivate me to give it a shot.
In this past 4 years I am able to write 3 best saleing novel. All are fictional. Bases on my mere imagination. It's hard to choose genera on which I should write first, but one lost day when I was searching something through my cupboard, I found a hoddie which inspired me instantly to write. From that on that hoddie is become emblem of my fresh start. Big thanks to Mr. Manhotra, Anii' dad, who played the vital role in my success. As my all three books are published under there publication company. He has same fate in me as my dad. And I am still planning to be with the publication for my future project also.
The first left out thing which pop my mind is doing something in the filed which I graduated in. So, I decided to study further, and doing post-graduation seems like a best option to begin with.
I enroll myself into few University and got selected in few. Not able to decide which to final, Anii come to sort that doubt. After working in a co-operative world as a helping hand for her dad in his firm, she also decided to do something that she loved or she good at. All her life she is doing things that other wants, to keep up with them. But now she finally made her mind to pursue interior designing. She got selected in "INIFD : International Institute of Fashion Design and Interior Design" , pune. Which make me easy to choose the university. "COEP" is one of the college I applied in. It will help me being in unknown city with a person I know. So, I locked the option. Having an outgoing friend as an introvert, is a blessing. Together, we bought the two-bedroom apartment in Shivaji Nagar. WITH OUR OWN MONEY. Our bank balance is enough to buy it without our parents help. I got enough money after writing a books that I can afford now to live on my own. Independently.
In park people where jogging, excersing, doing yoga, walking with their dog. Few kids are playing early in the morning, when I was a kid I used to sleep like Khumbkaran. I saw a kid kicking a football, which got hit to a nausea old man who start yelling on him. The kid instantly run away from the crime scene with his ball. This scenario instantly took my mind to think about Mahir.
After graduation, on the bases of his football performance he got the scholarship to pursue further studies. He got selected in almost every college he applied in. He chose to go to New York. It's his dream since ever and it's the farest place he can go from his controlling parents. He did two and half year of masters in digital communications and got a high paid job as well in a multinational firm. We stay in touch, like an old friends. Tell each other what we up to in life, about hookups and date, health and family. Last few months of college really help us to bond. Currently, he is dating someone name Irene from his NY university. He is planning to settle their too.
I don't wanna get late for my very first day of University. I took my time to get ready, as I woke up early, I have sufficient time to spend on myself. I want to look presentable. It's a same feeling when I first got into college. Lots of butterflies dancing in belly due to excitement and nervousness. I wore Spaghetti straps vintage floral dark blue dress, if I don't wear a white tank top underneath, my cleavage will be on display and it will be unappropriated in college.
I choose to wear my favorite hoodie on top as well. Even if it's summer month of August, the weather is cold outside due to yesterday's rain. Strong smell of coffee and fresh pancakes hit my nostrils as I brush my hairs. I found Anii making breakfast for us. She is totally changed person now. More responsible and sensible unlike me who is still a goof. I took the seat on the mini dining table as she serve me the meal.
"Why you are not ready yet? Are you bunking college today." I asked as I showed my mouth with the chocolate spread pancake.
"I will go late. Atharva has to meet some client here, so he is going to visit me first." I nod, understanding her plan. Thank god I have to go to college and not to witness there loudly moans.
After the truth revel, it take time and lots of gift for Anii to except Atharva back in her life. But I am happy for them, that they workout things between them. Currently Atharva work in multinational firm in Mumbai after doing an MBA. It's easy to meet every day when they both are in same city, but since we shifted to Pune, he drive all the way to Pune from Mumbai when he miss Anii so much. Typically, cliche. But love his efforts. He is doing his very best to keep Anii happy, to keep their relationship working, so that Anii. She forgot about the past mistake and started new.
"So, what's your plan for first day?" She asked.
"Nothing much planed. I will see when I be there."
"Take my suggestion. Start dating."
"Don't start again, Anii."
"You concern me Viyona. How long are you going to avoid being in a relationship again."
"Okay. Fine. I will consider your suggestion. And look someone compatible to date. Happy?" I said in sarcasm.
"I will be happy when you really find someone."
"Whatever, I should be get going. I don't want to get late."
"Viyona?" She called. I hummed as I slide my supplies into my bag. "Do you ever feel like finding Anzan sir and restart thigs with him?"
This is the first time Anii ask me related to him in 4 years. My ears and cheeks got fiery, and breath got stiffen with his name. There is not a single day passed when I not think about him, when we broke up. But then I keep myself busy with writing books and building my career. I choose what I love. Writing books seems like a best Escape. Not gonna lie, it's really work out for me.
"Not really. We separate for good." I said with a heavy heart and in unconvincing tone.
"But you still feel for him. Means some part of you still want him. Right?" I stay silent. I slide my feet into the sneakers and laugh awkwardly.
"I don't know about my feelings anymore."
"Anyway, isn't he be 30 now."
"Yep. I guess." I calculate for few second and reply.
"Probably he be married by now with few kids." the thought make me uneasy all sudden. I hummed and waved bye as I left. What the heck! Now his thoughts are going to linger in my head all day.
The area has one-way streets mostly, which makes it difficult to reach the destination. Cab has to take few extra turns before I finally reached the campus. The first glimpse of campus took my breath away. This is my first time seeing the building as I have done my admission, payment and everything online. I got mesmerizing by the architecture.
The Victorian-Gothic style main building with its sixty-foot-high tower and stylized garden is the center piece. I have read it in some article that the building is listed as a Grade I heritage structure, while the entire campus is listed as a heritage precinct. This building was designed by W. S. Howard and the foundation stone was laid by His Excellency the Governor, Sir. Bartle Frere on 5th August 1865. I got caught up in admiring the building so much, I almost forgot I have lecture in few minutes. But this huge ass building, I get lost in its corridors.
+++
Anzan P.O.V
⏳
I grabs the other person's hand and smiles as wide as I could. "Thank you sir for this opportunity. Thank you for accepting me here even though I have such not appealing background."
The Chairman of the College giving me the smile too as he places his palm on top of my cold hand "Being a college professor and being a professor for post-graduation aspirants are two different things. What you have there, doesn't apply the same rules you have it here. I'm lucky to have such young man to teach my students. I hope you will have the best time in your life whenever you hear the word work. You have high responsibilities now, don't forget that." The Chairman of the college is super nice. He doesn't much bother about my past, because for him the past is still a part of that particular person and it's life.
"I won't disappoint you sir. I better go now, my first class ever." He nods and I closes the door behind me. I chin up and breathes the new phase of my life. "Let's do this!"
The moment I enters the class, people are more quieter than the one I had in Bachelor's degree.
"Good morning people, I am your new lecturer for this subject. My name is Dr. Anzan Somavanhi and you can call me Anzan sir."
⏳
Meantime.
Morning, 9:45 am.
I remember my very first day in the college very vividly as I woke up.
Fuck!!! I got late. I got dress casually and without have my breakfast I drive myself to the campus.
So much change in my life. To grad up my position I did PhD. I am trying to complete my PhD science I got my first job, but never able to do so. But finally, able to crack that beauty. Lucky me, as soon I completed my PhD I got selected in one of the top universities as a professor to teach post graduate student, After teaching for bachelor of engineering in Hyderabad for 1 and half year.
So far, so happy with my life. Almost 2 years completed teaching in new place. Life is smooth. Amazing collage, polity colleagues, Good student. Importantly lovely friend, Parth always check up on me just in case I goes crazy or anything but I am super fine. Just one thing I hate is, Sadhna. She always now and then set me up with girls. For me to get married or at least date. But I am not in the mood of searching for love? There are lots of students flirting with me, but I am not at all interested. The thought really scares me now. Work is priority now. Work and traveling is only thing I wanna do now.
Honestly, I doesn't forget about Viyona yet. I always wants to know what happened throughout her life after we break apart. I wonder where she is now, are she fine or not. What she been up to. I was happy and wonder when I get to know she become a novelist, well most of the country knows. But apart from that I know I can't get the other answers of her life.
The first day I laid eyes on her, I knew she was going to be an issue. Standing there, in front of the classroom door and walking inside so casually, in skinny jeans which exposing her chubby curves which was ripped from her one knee and a black tank top which was showing her navel if she lift her body a little up.
Yes, I clearly remember very detailed so vividly. All her soft, tan skin and short hair. At bus stop when she is drench into water, her petite silhouette on display. Even from the distance, I could see the lush lines of her curves. The way her black hair grazed her shoulders till her chest length shouldn't have been as interesting to look at as it was. She shouldn't have been that interesting to look at but she always hitched my breath away.
When I saw her in saree, I felt indignation burn in my gut. She was gorgeous.
When she used to check me out on football field. Her eyes always trails my move. When she saw me shirtless at my cabin, her gaze raked across my naked flesh like she'd never quite seen a man without a shirt before. I didn't know how that made me feel. But I like the way she noticing me with heat in her eyes.
There's just something about her that drives me insane. She gets under my skin in the worst ways and makes me react harshly-irrationally. I'm not that guy and never have been, so the fact that being near this woman makes me change all my character traits, that's not the best sign of compatibility. I still want her, make her mine is a driving force. One I can't afford to waste my time with. Indulging in Viyona is a disaster waiting to happen, and I refuse to be the casualty.
I knew she was going to be an unwelcome problem. Yet, despite all that, I got attracted towards her. In between I realized that how bad this is, if I caught again my career would be at risk so I try to distance her from myself. I don't know if it affects her or not, but it definitely affects me. I feel empty when I did that. Push her away like I don't care about her. Assuming that I am just fooling with her. It's the worst of my move as an adult.
Scratch that, I used to behave very rude to her, while she being all sweet with me. I just chose to ignore it. Embracing my anger, something that has been a living, breathing entity in me for years, I pushed her away, needing her gone. Viyona is trouble wrapped in beautiful packaging. No woman has ever gotten under my skin like she has. I wish I could explain why. I wish there was some legitimate reason I can't stand her, but there isn't. I curse myself when I breakup with her, when she finally come to me. But that's the best for us. It's better that way if we stay apart.
I walks in to my office. Placing all my books and some papers for the classes.
As still daydreaming, I shakes my head when my watch suddenly beeps. Oh damn, I am late for the class! I quickly picks up few books and markers, moving my ass to the lecture room. I stands infront of the room, looking again at the schedule and the class details. Yes, correct. Lecture room 2.7 Delta Wings. New comers' class. Fresh faces. Excited to teach new batch.
"Morning class! I'm so sorry I'm a bit late. Just a brief and short introduction. I am your lecturer for subject digital VLSI design, Anzan somavanhi. Glad to have new faces for this semester." The class greets me back and I feels so energized. "Okay guys, before I proceed I'm going to briefly explains about what we are going to learn for this subject, Its-"my line is being cut as someone runs into my lecture.
"I'm sorry I'm late! I got lost." I heard the huffed voice and turn my body
"It's okay! First day always like that-" I pauses as I couldn't believe my eyes. Her cheeks and nose tip are pinkish red, don't know because of the cold weather or because she run through building to find the correct class or because she is blushing. Her wavy long hair which end down below her chest. Plumy lips apart, to catch the breath. Eyes wide open. And expression filled with extreme shocked. I couldn't hide my smile looking at her standing in front of me. Her presence makes my breath uneven. Our eyes clash, and warmth surges through my body. Wide Smile appear on my face and I speaks softly after biting my lips.
"Well it's going to be a very fun semester for me."
***
Morning, 12:06 pm.
She attended the whole lecture silently. Without looking up from her desk even for once. Her body posture seems uncomfortable around the environment and shock by the coincidence. Her cheeks never leave the blush. I don't know what's going into her head after knowing I am her teacher again.
Throughout the lecture, I tried my best to keep up with the topic but whenever I glance at her, I literally eyefucked her, knowing that the pretty dress she been wearing is gifted by me. I feel proud at my choice, she look so delicate in that floral dress. And the hoodie that's mine. She look better with my clothes then I do. Indeed.
"That is all for today! Please make sure you return the books back to me before next Tuesday. Class dismiss." I closes all my books right in front of me and students are walking out of the class, as quickly as they could. "Not you Miss Viyona, you stay for a while." I says as I saw her leaving as well and she grit her teeth to that.
"I'll call you after this." she shout at one of the student. She made friends at very first day. Great!
"Follow me." I order. I saw minimal excitement on her face.
When she waking behind me, it's feel like old times. Having her like this again an unknown feeling travel my body. She close the door behind her and I asks her to stand in front of the desk.
"You know why you are here?." I asked calmly.
She hum for a few seconds "Umm for a prep talk?"
I smirk, huge grin can be shown on my face, the one that showcases the dimple in my cheek "Don't act naive." She giggle at me. Listening to her voice after all this year. It's like poetry in the motion. The melody that's missing from my life. The echo of my emptiness is again filled with her melody. Her voice is what I been dying to hear seen she show up at the classroom door.
"What am I supposed to think?" She flirtishly said. This girl, she never change.
"I swear to god Viyona, fine. I ask you to come here because I want to ask you."
"Ask what?" She asked me in reflex.
"Would you want to go get some coffee this evening? To catch things up?"
End of P.O.V
+++
***
Evening, 6:10 pm.
The cafe is small, fits only about ten tables and it is not that packed. The music just flowing in the air, making the room a bit more lively. We come to the cafe which is close to our campus.
We took the corner sit near the window, from where the road is visible. I saw people rushing from one side to other. It's evening, probably everyone is in hurry to go home after a hard working day. Even is the summer time the weather outside is cold and dark before the time. With no time rain start. And people outside rushing more faster. To go home or to find shade to hide for a while.
We took the seat in front of each other. Placing our back on the side chairs. He excuses himself to place an order on the counter. Looks like he stop aging. His presence change a lot. Now, he has undercuts, which makes him look more younger. Light blue denim jeans, solid white t-shirt with flannel shirt as jacket and casual shoes.
This is the first time; I see him in casual in the work place. Back then he always dress neat and formal. He got one more precising in his right ear, above the earlobe. I remember the first time I saw him with the shiny things. It took my breath away.
While making payment he look over his shoulder to take a glance at me. And instantly I turn my head, avoid giving him an idea that I'm already staring at him. One thing caught my attention, his bag from which my latest novel in peeking. I couldn't help but smile, knowing that he reads my book.
"How are you?" He starts the conversation to kill the awkwardness as he took his sit back.
"I am fine. You?" He sips his hot coffee slowly before answering my question.
"I am too. How's home? Friends?"
"Well, dad is good. His health bother me a little. Mahir flew to NYC, he received a full scholarship offer for his soccer. He is even planning to settle their." Anzan's lips form a wow to that as I continue "Anii went to Mumbai for a while to work with his dad but now she is doing course in interior designing. Trisha got a job in her hometown Delhi and Madhura is running her own small business of
gym trainee, back in her town. I don't know about others that much but so far, from our batch most of them decided to further studies instead of working." I brief him.
"What about you? Why you chose to be writer of all professions?" I stay silent, I don't have any particular explanation to that. I just feel like doing so, so I did it blankly. He look outside the glass window and then back at me as he change the question "Why do you choose to be here of all the places?" He asked, confused as I am, with the coincidence.
"I just want a change of place, plus I heard it's fun here."
He smirks, "Are you sure that's the reason you came here?" I pout
"Yeah, oh and I heard that this college have such good lecturers." my flirty self come out. He giggle.
"Everyone eyes are on you, the moment you walk in the class.'"
"Maybe because I am bit older than them to be in college." I laugh.
"No, it's because you're a famous novelist. Who going to study with them." He smile and praise me.
"Famous? Me? Not yet. Long way to be there." I wash that off.
"I don't think so, you're quite popular among youngster. Every second person has read your novel." He praised again.
"One of the second person is you." I point at the book which is peeking form his back. He get blushed at the realization. But he didn't hide it. He take out the book from his back and my mouth drop, looking at my scrunchie which he using as a bookmark.
"I thought giving a shot to read something other than course books." he said with awkward smile.
"What you think about my books?"
"Total cliches." he said and laugh which makes my jaw drop as I feel offended. But I like someone is giving me their honest opinion. It's actually a cliches. "Seems like you're desperate to give happy ending to your book character." I smile and took a sip from my coffee.
"Well, I never had for myself. Mine was more like tragedy. So, I want at least my book have." color got vanished from his face as he understand my taunt and went into silent mood.
Finishing his coffee silently. I remember my conversation with Anii this morning. He is at his age where people usually get married. The thought scares me what if someone already had in his life. But I don't see any rings on his finger. But what if he is seeing someone. That will be drawback too. Avoid putting too much pressure on my brain I asked him directly.
"Are you seeing someone?" he look back at me with a shock but then shake his head. That's a relief now I can asked him the actual question.
"Sir?" I broke the silence.
"Call me Anzan." my lips curved upward at his replied.
"Anzan, can I ask you something."
"Sure."
"You once said that if we meant to be together, we will never be apart. It's not our fate to me together." I paused with a heavy breath. As his gaze dart to mine a lump form in my throat with the intensity, still I manage to continue, "Do u think it means something that we meet again after all this year? Do you think it's our fate to stay and we took it wrong earlier?'' my eyes are literally bagging for a positive answer just like when I am asking him to stay before we apart. His poker face is not helping in this situation. He is gritting his teeth except answering. It's just increasing anxiety in me.
After thinking, calculating, analyzing. Whatever you say this. He smile widely. And spoke "You never change Viyona." I don't know if it's a compliment, answer or rejection.
"What does that means?" I ask as I stare into his eyes with frown brows. He smile widely making his eyes disappear into small crescents.
"It means that I miss you, so much."
***
Mid semester break of second year just about to begin. Only one final and important thing left, introduce him to my parent. He asked me so many time that he want to meet my dad, that he is so ready for it. After denying for year because I want to be sure where things going between us this time, I finally agreed to take him to my home this Diwali to come clear about our relationship. Hoping dad accept him without any sarcastic thought.
We decided to start things up again. More maturely. And it working out really fine and smooth. It took us time to catch things up again, we don't won't any circumstances to affect us this time. The distance we been parted makes us more closer than ever before. He became more matured as well as funny with the time.
Anii is happy the moment she know Anzan is at the same place as I am and she throw a party the moment we got back together. Mahir's is happy too after knowing about us. Sometimes we both had video calls with Mahir, asking his wellbeing. Mahir seems happy, having new foreign friends and lifestyles.
We repackaging our stuff because someone decided to be kinky 2 hours before our flight to Hyderabad. After finishing he sit on the floor to take a break from all the packing. He took out the phone to check if our flight is right on schedule or not. And it is.
He open his bag to check test papers. He want to finish his office work before he headed to vacation with me. Paper are spread all over the coffee table. He is wearing his reading glasses, just in his sweat pants. I was admiring this view. I miss him. I miss him so much. Spending time with him. Watching him doing his work. He is dedicated and serious to his work. He like what he do.
I went behind and lay on the couch. Snuggling my head into his side neck, and lifting few kiss on it which make him moan a little. I close my eyes for a while as I crease my thumb on the back of his neck. I feel unusual texture I open my eyes and I found a tattoo where I am creasing. I slide down my body to take a closer look to the beautiful skin art.
"When did you get this?" he look up from the paper as I asked him about his tattoo. "Why I never seen this before?"
"Oh this." he rub his back of his neck "This one I got it when I got selected for this university where I'm working now."
"It's because of the university." I laugh.
"No. This is my first tattoo. I got it as we broke up." he said softly
"It must be sad then? What's it's meaning?" he turns back to face me, he rest his chin on the couch, our face just few inches apart. He bopped my nose with his finger tip and answer.
"It's not at all sad. My tattoo is a combination of different types; like it has effect of "Monarch" which represent "star of new life" or "soul". Then it is also "country" based which represent "union between two people". I chose to have a black one. Black butterfly are packed full of symbolism; it represent "temporarily of life" or "bad luck" or "death". But it is aesthetically pleasing. No matter whether we believe in the symbolism, we can still take out a positive meaning from the aforementioned butterfly symbolism. At least I did, it stands for someone who wants to remember that loss are a part of life and we are all stronger for it. Don't be afraid to go through painful experience if they help you grow into a better person. Show off your inner beauty so the rest of the world can appreciate it." He explained his tattoo in very detail, enthusiastically like a kid telling it's favorite story. I can't help but smile foundly at him. Indeed, his tattoo has beautiful meaning. He paused and drawn into my eyes; he took a deep breath before giving a kiss. It took me by surprise. He continues in a whisper tone, "It also means "young love". Which is for me it's you. Cut short the whole theory of my tattoo. My tattoo is represented you." My eyes got numb, I cup his cheek and kiss him deeper as he grab my waist, pulling me to be on his lap. Hold me close and kissing this loneliness from my lips. His eyes closed the moment the pad of my thumb touch his cheek, and he let the tiny tear drop as he lean into to kiss some more while breathing heavily.
"I miss this so much." he said pantingly as we stop for much needed breath.
"You mean kissing?" He gives a quick nod.
"I haven't kiss anyone at all after you. In fact, I don't want to kiss anyone else except you." My mouth gasp at his sweet confession.
"Does that means you didn't have any-" he sighs because he knows what I am about to ask.
"Yeah I didn't have any of it at all."
"OMG! It's like years, how you-" he cuts my line.
"I have hands for a reason."
"God that's TMI. Please no. Please." he laughs hearing my funny statement.
"As if you don't like it." Oh god I can literally imagine him doing it in my brain. Why he even has to say that, my innocence is ruining. "You, it's been tough for me especially when you came to the college. With your clothes like that. My choice of dress look really good on you though but what are you trying to achieve?"
"Well, maybe wanting you to pin me against the wall Or pin me against your body." I joke and He closes his eyes listening to my naughty confession.
"Don't do this to me right now we have flight in half an hour."
"I'm just being honest while answering you." I am really testing his patience.
"You want to know my real honest thoughts right now?" I nod. "Oh god I want to do just that to you right now." We broke into laughter.
***
Evening, 6:49 pm.
When the moon appear in the night sky we reach to my home.
I already told my father over the phone that I am seeing someone and I will be glad to bring him to meet all, this Diwali. Well, my dad was pretty excited over the phone with the news. With ensures that I didn't turn into lesbian or asexual being after the heartbreaking.
I didn't step out from the car. My house is pretty decorated with relay of lights, oil lamps(diyas) which is covering the front porch in a row.
Two lantern at each side of the door and a big beautiful rangoli at the center, front of the entrance. It's feel good to be home after being away for almost 2 year in different state.
Anzan turn to me and I sign out load. He look not at all near nervous whereas I am scared. But Maybe I am wrong, he must be scared to meet my family. It's his first time, to meet someone's family he bring dating. The relationship with him its hell of a rollercoaster ride. We experience attraction, love, jealousy, friendship, anger, grief, breakup and fall in love all over again. I couldn't imagine my life without him I am scared to death to lose him. He hold my hand as I hug his broad body.
"Relax. Things will work out for good. I have faith. Faith in us. Faith in love. I am nervous too but more excited to finally meet my girlfriend's family." He crease my back and said. His word really calm me down.
I knock the door and I heard my brother and his wife is giggling at some family joke. After a minute when no one open door I knock again. Maybe they busy with the gossips. I hear footsteps coming closer. And dad open the door for us. I hug him instantly and he hug me back with the wide smile and invite both of us in.
"So, is this the handsome men you dating?" Dad asked. As he is surprise to see my reunion with my long-lost love.
"Anzan, this is my dad. Dad, this is my Anzan." I introduce them to each other nervously. "Wait no, I meant- um that's not what I-.." look back and forth at Anzan then my dad. I feel embarrassed the way I introduced him to my dad and there is no way left to recover back because they both clearly heard it. It's all over there face.
Thank god, dad broke into laughter, brushing of my embarrassment. With that Anzan expression change to shyness, he smiles fondly and extend his hand for handshake, so that dad. His reply makes my heart flutter in the speed of bullet train. Dad somewhat also like the humour. And I can see acceptance expression on my dad's face for Anzan. Flustered yet proud smile is plaster on Anzan's face.
"Hello, nice to meet you Mr. Amrapali, I am her Anzan." he introduced